[QUOTE=HungarianHippo;7764484]
DINGDINGDINGDING! And there it is: “heart horse” is not about you distinguishing internally your own love among your own horses. It’s about you judging that you love yours more than I love mine.[/QUOTE]
For what it’s worth, I’ve never interpreted “heart horse” that way. Just “this horse is especially dear to me, more so than most/all of the others I’ve known.”
I really don’t see the BFD with using a short form of that very long sentence.
[QUOTE=mortgagemyhorse;7764483]
So boyfriend comparion is like a soulmate: of all the boyfriends I have had, this one is my soulmate and he feels the same way? (I don’t know if I believe in a soulmate or not, ask me in 10 years, just the best word I could find)
No callousness to my posts, just simply trying to understand it. Remember: I am the person who didn’t know what a CarrotStick was and has never met a Parelli Follower. The rock I live under is vast.
So question for anyone: on some posts people note financial problems where a person pays for, say, a vet because it’s their heart horse and are now only able to eat Ramen. Is this part of the heart horse definition or something that can come with it?[/QUOTE]
I would do that for any horse I owned as long as it didn’t hurt my family, as they and the horse are my responsibility.
Everyone is different though. When King is 30, I wouldn’t do it to save his life, I’d let him go. I would still do it for say the new 12 yo I barely know. If they are mine.
If it would hurt my family, and we could figure out no way to help them without hurting us, then it wouldn’t happen.
My daughters’ pony has Cushings and we just spent lots of money on his meds. However if that had made it so that we wouldn’t be able to meet our responsibilities, we would have gone another route.
It is surprising to me that this thread reads like many COTHers believe that horses are horses and that strong(er) bonds don’t exist with some horse/people combinations. Really??? That makes me sad to think that so many people can’t recognize unique personalities in horses or don’t feel drawn to one horse over another. I feel sorry for anyone who has never felt a special connection or bond-- whether it’s with a horse, a friend, or a partner.
With that said, I think the phrase “heart horse” is hokey as all get out and makes me cringe. But I totally can relate to the sentiment. I’ve definitely had a few “heart horses” in my lifetime.
[QUOTE=mortgagemyhorse;7764483]
So question for anyone: on some posts people note financial problems where a person pays for, say, a vet because it’s their heart horse and are now only able to eat Ramen. Is this part of the heart horse definition or something that can come with it?[/QUOTE]
I am not understanding all this lumping of heart horses with money. Yes, sometimes people do talk about money in connection with their heart horse. But not everyone who mentions a heart horse talks about money. (Me, for instance.)
Perhaps if the critics separated the two subjects in their minds they would understand better?
Weird, and sad.
I’m sorry for those of you who don’t believe in a heart horse or horses.
Doesn’t mean another won’t come along. Doesn’t mean you can’t love another.
But when you know, you know.
And I know, boy do I know :).
I’m about as hard boiled as a horse person can be…I make my living buying and selling them. I like them all, heck I even love some that come through my barn…but this one horse…
He was brought in for me to train and sell. there’s just something different about him, nothing I can put my finger on. He is lovely, he is a great mover, but he has limitations. But he looks at me in a way none of the other horses do…its really hard to explain.
Am I working out a way he can stay with me?..you bet I am. I can’t stand the thought of not seeing his handsome face over the door every morning.
I have a heart horse. I had a heart kitty. I’ve used those phrases. I also use “OMG” albeit tongue-in-cheek. It’s just a turn of phrase.
I wouldn’t get my heart horse a prosthetic leg. I might rescue her first out of a burning building though.
The folks who either make impractical decisions from a financial or logistic perspective, or use their lurrrrv to explain poor behavior and manners, exercise my eye-rolly muscles regardless of what they call their horse.
[QUOTE=prairiewind2;7764509]
I am not understanding all this lumping of heart horses with money. Yes, sometimes people do talk about money in connection with their heart horse. But not everyone who mentions a heart horse talks about money. (Me, for instance.)
Perhaps if the critics separated the two subjects in their minds they would understand better?[/QUOTE]
I think the critics are pointing to the convergence of both: The ‘Heart Horse’ as excuse, I mean explanation for unwise financial decisions.
Somewhere like 30 years ago Sis and a friend had this musing going on: What if there is this one horse, in the lifetime of a rider, that ONE special horse. I was about to say, Sis would have never used ‘heart horse’ but she did declare one of her dogs ‘the main dog’ to never let go off the property…
But yeah, I think there is ‘the one’.
She had it, had it sold out from under her, and while she made great strides with the half sister to that horse, to a point where they mirrored each others personality…it wasn’t ‘the one’
I had ‘the one’ sadly very early on, and, I, too, was unable to hold on to this ‘one’ horse.
but Heart horse has gone by way of ‘rescue’…You can’t acquire a horse not having ‘rescued’ it. And then it better be the heart horse from the second you lay eyes on the grainy picture…
Oh, and be willing to sacrifice both, husband and kids quicker than a heart beat for this critter.
Yes, I think it starts with them choosing you. Certainly did for me anyway. 
The term “Heart Horse” and this idea that if we don’t love the expression then we haven’t experienced the emotion are both odd.
Trotting out the phrase in public is much like praying for show in public - wrong audience. The love should be between you and your horse or you and your god. Everything else is simply a show.
All my horses have been my heart horses, in the same way that my favourite horse colour has been the same as whatever horse I happened to be riding at the time. I have had a strong bond with each of them.
I think I had the most fun with my first mare, a BTDT type. She had uncomfortable gaits, was about as wide as a board, but she was enthusiastic about everything when we were riding. She’d pin her ears at me if I hugged her too long on the ground, but that was a different story. Some people say she wasn’t the brightest but that never occurred to me at the time. I adored her.
My current gelding is not my cup of tea when it comes to riding (he is a bit too much for me, sensitive and opinionated and I prefer a horse that is narrower and with a longer stride) but we adore each other on the ground. He nickers whenever I’m in earshot, comes running when I call him, and keeps me endlessly amused and in admiration of his intelligence, sense of humour and other wonderful qualities. He’s a prince.
My current mare is perfect for me under saddle–just the right physical type and temperament and with perfect gaits for me–big but super comfortable. She’s smart and brave and I love riding her. Although she’s very willing, she can be opinionated at times and doesn’t have the unbridled enthusiasm for her job that my first mare had. I have a great bond with her on the ground, but not as strong as with my gelding.
I really don’t give a fig, flying or otherwise how you describe your relationship with your horse. Not sure why you would care how we feel about ours. Feel free to roll your eyes all you like, I loved all my horses but one especially set the bar so high the rest of them can’t even see him from down here. Leave it to a COTHer to start a thread specifically to bash people for caring about their horse. Some of you put the ass in asshat.
A-acres… I’m with you re: the need to make a distinction between people and animals. The need to do a hierarchy, the need to rank in importance, and the need to alert someone else that they better be thinking along the same lines. It’s a dressed-up version of discrimination. It’s why we have wars, etc.
(But, since the poster’s dad had to find better grazing, I think he was really just talking to himself, trying to convince himself that the horses are second…)
I think often about this heart horse phrase, b/c I’ve not experienced it. All the animals that come my way receive equal attention, care, and ranking. They are all #1.
I’m probably one of the least sentimental people…but I had a “heart horse” or the horse of a lifetime or whatever you want to call him. He’s irreplaceable.
[QUOTE=Camstock;7764535]
The term “Heart Horse” and this idea that if we don’t love the expression then we haven’t experienced the emotion are both odd.
Trotting out the phrase in public is much like praying for show in public - wrong audience. The love should be between you and your horse or you and your god. Everything else is simply a show.[/QUOTE]
I don’t care if people don’t love the expression - not much enamored of it myself though it is succinct. But the OP as well as many of the folks that agreed with him/her doubted the existence of such a thing and sometimes included derision.
I see nothing wrong with including “heart horse” information in posts and don’t understand why some folks do see something wrong. I included it with my postings a year ago about having to put my boy down. Believed then and believe now that it imparted necessary information about him, and about me. If it is offensive to some - and apparently it is - so be it. Whoop-de-do.
I guess I should clarify that I mainly take issue with “heart horse” when it is used to explain or attempt to justify something unreasonable. Like your relationship with this one particular horse is so special that it should make people go from responding, “No, this is a bad idea for personal/financial/logical reasons” to “Oh, well it’s your HEART HORSE. Why didn’t you say so? By all means, make that dumb decision with my blessing!”
I secondarily take issue with “heart horse” for the same reason that I mentioned I don’t believe in soulmates; it seems unnecessarily and depressingly limiting when the horse passes on or otherwise exits your life. You will love again! I promise! Give yourself a chance to find another horse that you will love and may even take you further towards your riding goals.
I really don’t have an issue with people loving their horses or having a bond with them (even if they imagine that the love they get in return is on more human terms than horses are actually capable of.) Even distinguishing between “I loved all my horses but this one is really special to me” is fine. It’s the histrionics that often come hand in hand with the heart horse designation that I think does a lot more harm than good.
The expression that’s used over here is “horse of a lifetime,” and I understand it completely. When I started participating in CoTH and read the term “heart horse,” I had never heard the expression before, I but knew immediately what it meant.
I was very involved in the dog fancy before emigrating to the UK. We moved here with 15 dogs. They were part of our family and there was no way I was going to place them before moving (six of them were very small). I loved all of them (they are all gone now), but a few held a special place in my heart not shared with the others. My true “dogs of a lifetime” died years before we made the move. I think that position in my heart had something to do with a connection, not more rosettes. It’s the same, undefinable reason why we fall in love with this person, but not that one. Why do we love the people we love? Sure, we can list all the traits we find attractive in our loved ones, knowing full well that dozens of other people possess those very traits, but we don’t love them.
I didn’t acquire my first horse until I was 50. I don’t ride now, although I did as a youngster. That first horse was quite aloof, but I was over the moon with her. I bought another horse so that she could have a companion. Their relationship was remarkable, a real love story. I adore him and he loved everything that moved. I cherished my third and fourth horses, but it wasn’t until I got my fifth horse, and had her for about a year, that I knew I now had my “horse of a lifetime.” It’s that inexplicable bond, a relationship that defies explanation. It’s a very emotional, touching je ne sais quoi. I don’t think that connection has anything to do with how sound or talented or intelligent or willing is the horse. It’s…
So, maybe the words “heart horse” are overused, but why should it bother anyone if someone feels she has her horse of a lifetime?
[QUOTE=Laurierace;7764540]
I really don’t give a fig, flying or otherwise how you describe your relationship with your horse. Not sure why you would care how we feel about ours. Feel free to roll your eyes all you like, I loved all my horses but one especially set the bar so high the rest of them can’t even see him from down here. Leave it to a COTHer to start a thread specifically to bash people for caring about their horse. Some of you put the ass in asshat.[/QUOTE]
Laurie, I genuinely apologize if you interpreted my thread as demeaning the relationship between a special horse and its owner. I was in no way trying to belittle the bond between someone and their horse, you included. My OP was meant more tongue in cheek than it apparently read. I do apologize - no fakey fake “I’m sorry you were offended” from me!
That said, you went from 0 to 60 in terms of “if you don’t believe in heart horses I feel sorry for you because you’ve never experienced love!” I don’t think my original post was nearly as judgmental as that statement.
You might want to re-read what I wrote. I said I am sorry you have never had one, not that you’ve never experienced love. No judgement involved on my end.
[QUOTE=french fry;7764571]
I guess I should clarify that I mainly take issue with “heart horse” when it is used to explain or attempt to justify something unreasonable. Like your relationship with this one particular horse is so special that it should make people go from responding, “No, this is a bad idea for personal/financial/logical reasons” to “Oh, well it’s your HEART HORSE. Why didn’t you say so? By all means, make that dumb decision with my blessing!”
I secondarily take issue with “heart horse” for the same reason that I mentioned I don’t believe in soulmates; it seems unnecessarily and depressingly limiting when the horse passes on or otherwise exits your life. You will love again! I promise! Give yourself a chance to find another horse that you will love and may even take you further towards your riding goals.
I really don’t have an issue with people loving their horses or having a bond with them (even if they imagine that the love they get in return is on more human terms than horses are actually capable of.) Even distinguishing between “I loved all my horses but this one is really special to me” is fine. It’s the histrionics that often come hand in hand with the heart horse designation that I think does a lot more harm than good.[/QUOTE]
Of course I will love again. Indeed, I loved another horse at the time I had to put my heart horse down. But we do not love each other quite as much or in the same way my heart horse and I did. And believe me - my heart horse chose that relationship. I would have loved him anyway, just as I love my mare, but he decided to take it further. My mare has not, though we get along very well and she will be with me for life.
ETA - Of course a horse does not love me the same way I love them. Anymore than a dog does. Or a cat does. But my dogs, cats and horses do have emotions suitable to their species, and they do love me within the confines of those emotions. That said, some love me more - and a little bit differently - than others.
It amuses me no end to read the scientific studies, no doubt done at great expense, in which scientists discover that animals have emotions not so very different from our own. LOL! We share most of the same DNA, so why would anyone have thought differently…
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