I don’t know if this is in play here, but it is important to distinguish what is seen in thrilling online videos and livestreaming from the upper levels, and what actually happens at the lower levels. Those upper level videos are not reflective of the much more relaxed pace at the lower levels. The lower levels can be almost like a different sport, one that is much less difficult.
Also, keep in mind that in eventing you can trot any fence you like. At any point in the course you can choose the pace you are comfortable with. You can circle without penalties so long as you aren’t presenting to a jump. And, if you really feel un-confident about an approach to a jump, pull out before the jump and take your 20 penalties. Present again more safely. It is far more important to be confident and safe than it is to worry about some penalty points.
Sometimes riders from the hunter world have to consciously disconnect from their hunter-show mindframe, and remember that, in eventing, they have far more options on course, and no one is judging how it looks.