The way I understand the position the OP’s parents have taken is that they have said no, you can’t go to that school. To her protestations they said, “Fine, if you can pay for it.” Which means they are sick of hearing about it.
There is a thread somewhere on this forum asking what people do for a living to afford horses. That might be a better source of advice.
That is what I was thinking. If you can pay for it, go ahead.
Which in my opinion means no.
There are young adults who attend more affordable colleges part time and work part time, and graduate with no debt. There are young adults who take on student loans to attend college, and there are young adults who get “full ride” scholarships to college based on merit, need, or sports. There are also young adults attending on veterans benefits or working adults subsidized by their employer.
In other words, there are a number of possibilities for young adults whose parents cannot or will not pay for their college education.
There is however no expectation or real possibility that a teenager without parental financial support can raise the money to go to a really expensive high school unless they get a full.scholarship, and usually those would be for exceptional cases.
I agree, the suggestion “if you can raise the money” (and likely for multiple years) is a way of saying no.
The fact that OP is semi seriously wondering how they can earn a little over the average US adult salary in 5 months by working part time suggests they don’t really know the value of a dollar yet. That’s fine, many teens don’t.
IME a lot of young Americans are shocked how low the average annual income really is. If they are well off they assume everyone else is too, and if they are poor they assume everyone else is wealthy and can afford everything.
First a caveat that there may be reasons unknown to this thread why OP’s dream could become a realistic goal. But without knowing more (and OP has no need to share more), I concur with others that, generally speaking given the financial limitations, other avenues might be a better option and still a very good future school experience and adult life for OP.
The advice people are posting here is general life wisdom. I have confidence that, in the end, OP and her parents will distill all the facts and come up with a workable solution to her education and riding, whatever that is.
I’m honored that OP feels that COTH has useful information to share, and I’m sure the information will be processed to some degree.
This is a very legit reason for focusing on any particular school. Always keeping in mind that there is more than one boarding school that provides an excellent education. Including some you may not have pursued yet.
As someone who grew up in Texas, lived most of their adult life away, and now lives near Houston again, I 100% understand why, if staying home means going to a smaller rural TX school, you will truly be better off to get your education elsewhere. Absolutely, get out of that town for your high school education. (As did some of the children of George Bush (the 1st), and clearly that paid off for them.)
You don’t have to answer this question on this forum, but I hope that you will do the research … Are you sure that you would get to that point at this school, if they do not already show at the elite levels?
Is that level of showing truly on the school’s agenda? Explore that deeply with various people in the school – keep asking the question of the trainer, in the barn, and of the administration. If you get different, contradictory answers, be very wary of a realistic future in the program. And smilingly bring up the contradictions with the appropriate people for more answers.
Do not rely on brochures and printed material about this. Means nothing. Find out what the people who decide really think.
I will give credibility to the expensive horses available to students. But there may be policy reasons that the school horses are kept at lower levels than their history and ability would indicate.
As you mentioned, you don’t know why they don’t jump higher. Find out why. It may be forbidden by school policy/rules for sundry reasons including insurance, maintaining the horses’ soundness and longevity in the program, access to the transportation and days off needed, even a senior administration that feels a bit panicky at the idea of a noteworthy student taking a header off a horse at a show and ending up in the ER, etc. & so on. One or several of these reasons would kibosh the higher level showing.
That’s great, of course … but IEA riding competition is not really pro-level. It’s useful for some basic skills learning, of course, but … not really a recommendation to a top trainer. Another research point is how may pros, those who do what you aspire to do, actually have an IEA background. And if they needed it to achieve what they have achieved. And what they think of a working student candidate that has IEA in their background, compared with other candidates that don’t.
Don’t go just by what school representatives and school trainers say about IEA. Of course they are promoting it. Ask pro riders in the professional industry.
IEA achievements would probably look nice on a resume. But more in the nature of ‘can focus on goals and achieve them’, ‘has been recognized within an academic system’, than it is a true skills recommendation.
OP, there have been some COTH threads (maybe one recently?) about how people managed pursuing their adult life with horses, after college. Yes, some of the experiences may not be that germaine to you. But some might. (Maybe some links will pop up.)
A common theme is accomplished adult riders who planned their lives to afford advancing their competition career after graduating and establishing their career. And the many, many years they had for it after those benchmarks were met.
And, learning that being a pro trainer is not a great life, and does not offer nearly enough opportunities to ride elite horses at elite levels to make it worth it. More like, riding the worst horse in the barn rather than the best, because that is where the professional training is most needed. In comparison to the opportunities to ride very good horses and advance in competition as an amateur with a sufficient income.
A few general thoughts on education and future income to afford a lifetime of horse sport.
I worked for many years for a couple of the highly notable companies not just in the U.S., but in the world. Including in a hiring capacity in my field. I was also aware of hiring protocols generally for other companies.
All else being equal, it is better to graduate from the school where, based on your personality and aptitudes, you will excel and get top grades, even if it is a small lesser-known school. College grads are hired into excellent first-career-job positions with degrees from schools I never heard of, because they were top performers at those schools.
Secondary school and college, focus on schools where you can be confident that you will graduate with an excellent academic and extra-curricular record. Definitely the school has to have a good accredited curriculum. It does not have to be ivy league or a big state university to move you to the next step in great form, either college or your first career job.
If someone would be just another student at a big state university or a world-famous private institution, honestly I’d recommend not going that route and instead attending the very best small college that you can afford, that has a broad curriculum, recognition as an excellent academic institution, and would be a place where you would shine. A big fish in a small pond looks better to future admissions and employers than a small fish in a big pond.
For riding and showing: Think long-term, after high school, after college, after your early career years. Because that is when you will be able to afford to compete at higher levels based on your income. You will then have far more control over the horses you ride and where/how you compete than does a pro trainer.
I fully agree with OP’s focus on the quality of her experience while completing high school. And later college.
My point for OP is that there is more than one way to get where you want to go. That is the point that others in this thread are also making, based on realistic wisdom and life experience.
It’s a good thing to make a run at the ideal solution. That’s what successful people do.
But it’s even better to be flexible about evaluating other, equally worthy options. That is also what successful people do. To re-routing to a better overall long-term solution, if Plan A has too many downsides. Plan B (or C, D, E, etc.) may have more positives and upsides than Plan A – look at that realistically.
Good luck OP on great future experiences! Whatever you and your parents decide.
Pretty much the same story for me. I would have loved to go to Marquette or Carnegie-Mellon. The cost after scholarships was too high, so I went to the local campus of well known state university. My bargain degree has served me well.
I can’t see where a $75K/year spent on any undergraduate (or lower) education is worth the money. If you have the money to throw away, have at it, but taking out loans for that kind of money is insane. Even if you are going to law or med school, it’s a lot of money to pay back.
As for the OP, if even if she sold her body, $50K in 6 months is going to be virtually impossible for a teenager.
Not to mention that the Internet is forever and an Only Fans account will haunt you for the rest of your life and could easily lead to losing scholarships and career opportunities.
This may just be one of those “can’t have your cake and eat it too” situations. You can either have this school experience or you can continue to ride and show your own horse but probably not both. It’s up to you to examine those choices and see which one makes the most sense for your future. Welcome to making tough adult decisions!
The logical thing here if you want to attend the school, and probably the only one that makes sense, is to lease out your horse if you can get that amount of money from doing so. Especially if you will be going to this school for multiple years, because otherwise you’re going to face the same need to raise money every summer. (Is the $1200/month board and $5000 for the riding program included in the $75000 total figure for the year, or would those be on top of it yet?) By suggesting that, your parents are pretty much telling you that you need to make a choice.
This is amazing, amazing advice. Can we broadcast this across barns everywhere? It’s advice that so many teens need to hear. How do I know? I have several. 
I would strongly encourage you to go back to the admissions office of the boarding school that you are interested in attending to explain more about your financial situation and need. Many schools are willing to work with you beyond their initial tuition assistance “offers.” You appear to be well spoken, intelligent, and incredibly driven. Many schools are willing to invest scholarship dollars into students like you. If this is your dream, explain that to the school and see what they can do. You might be surprised with what they come back with!
This is actually good advice. But also realize OP, I believe $75k is YEARLY tuition so unless you’re heading into senior year, you’re going to need to scrape up that extra $50k every year. A good chunk of the American population doesn’t make that much after taxes!
OP, I DO agree that a small rural TX school does not set someone up for a smooth college or early employment experience - it would be well worth it to invest some time and research into high quality online schools that would also allow you to focus on your riding at home/travel to shows with a good coach if that is in the budget. IEA is great and I love it for people starting out or just wanting saddle time, but IEA does not feed you to the upper levels. It is entirely different from “real” showing.
Think about the young up and comers right now - what did they do to get there? What did their predecessors do? They went to online school and lived on the circuit, either funded by parents or working some of it off at “pro” equitation barns like Heritage. THAT is how a teen gets into the fast lane for a decently successful pro career including actually competing at the top.
Another path is to take a gap year after high school to work for a pro - even grooming at WEF over the winter for the right person can be a great opportunity. The key is not to get stuck mucking stalls for $8/hour and wake up one day at 30 years old realizing you forgot to make a long term plan.
The most likely path to your goals is to get a good job and move to a place that’s a hotbed for your discipline of choice and compete your own horse(s). A few people get super lucky being supported by family (and this isn’t always obvious on social media), or are happy doing lower level stuff - that’s all fine. I’m just saying that if you want to compete and show the circuit and maybe go pro, you either need to pay for it yourself with a good job or you need to find a way to apprentice and work for a top level program.
I think that working odd jobs to pay for a cool opportunity is commendable OP, it shows some commitment and drive. But $50k + in five months is just not realistic.
This sounds very likely.
$75k a year for that level of program is absolutely absurd. That’s more than double the tuition at my veterinary school for the same amount of time. Good god. Must be nice to have that kind of money…
@OP, you’ve gotten a lot of great advice already about how this is a poor financial decision and that raising that amount of money in this period of time is unrealistic (to put it in perspective, I start a job in June where I will make $44k for the year, and I [will] have 2 doctorates at that point). The great thing is that a high school program is not going to ultimately affect your riding career, even if it seems that way right now.
When you’re someone with more limited means, you have to re-contextualize your goals and take into account what the pipe dream is (which it sounds like this school and maybe doing the big eq is) versus what a more realistic goal is. That can be hard when you’re young and want to do more, but can’t - but the reality is that you can have a very long and happy life with horses and achieve things you’re working toward, with some careful consideration about what is financially and logistically feasible. Raising enough money for $75k/year tuition is not, and it isn’t a good use of the money even if you somehow were able to - a better use of that money would be to put it in a savings account or into investments managed by a trustworthy advisor, to be honest.
I wish you the best and hope you have many wonderful years with horses in them, whatever that ends up looking like for you.
In order to be successful at a project that is a bit out of one’s usual activities, the solutions have to be accessible. Money and other resources. It may take some effort to get to those solutions, but they have to be within reach.
The Cinderella stories are not reality. That is not how schooling is mastered, colleges are entered or companies are built.
The key is assessing what resources are within reach now. Not reinventing a scheme that isn’t even known at this point. Rather, a realistic path that you could begin today and within a few weeks be earning and gathering those resources sufficient to accomplish the goal. That is the way to success.
It is a huge waste of time and effort to spin one’s wheels chasing something that is not realistic.
Gathering the available resources and progressing continuously toward the best available solution is what builds a good life. And a good experience during your schooling for the next few years.
I hope @LilahEquestrian shows some of the responses here to her parents and uses it as a springboard of discussion
there have been some excellent (as always) thoughtful responses from posters with real world horse and career experiences. Hundreds of years of experience from people who know what it is to have a dream and what it is to have to proceed forward wide awake.
Every word of this is true.
I would add that when I was hiring people, the ones with “Equestrian Science” degrees had to prove themselves in interviews just like everyone else.
Hi OP,
Just wanted to chime in as someone who went to boarding school and share my perspective. I visited Chatham Hall, Foxcroft and ended up applying to Madeira, Episocopal High School and St. Andrews. Back in the early 2000s, boarding school was closer to $25k annually, although I remember that Foxcroft was a bit more expensive. I am from a family (on both sides) that has sent a lot of kids to boarding school – both my parents went, several aunts and uncles, etc.
However, I was not someone who was showing on the A circuit regularly – my parents had money prioritized for my education, and encouraged my riding to the extent that it made me a happier, more responsible kid.
I ended up choosing a co-ed school and stronger academics over one with a riding program. I tried to bring my horse with me for a semester, but it ended up being too tough to get out to the barn regularly with traffic, etc, so I made the decision to donate him to a boarding school with a riding program at the end of the semester. Prior to starting school, I would never have imagined this happening.
However, I’m glad I chose to shift my focus in high school – I took lots of AP classes, played varsity soccer, volunteered, spent a summer studying in Spain, went to plays and concerts, etc etc. And I leased a horse over the summer (when I wasn’t in Spain) and still showed some. School was much more academically challenging than my public high school, but I learned so much and developed really great relationships with my teachers.
It helped me learn that I always wanted horses in my life – so I went to a college with a riding program, then went to vet school, worked in equine practice for 8 years, and now am getting a PhD, again working with horses. I don’t ride regularly anymore but I’ve also realized that I like having horses as a career and owning a dog more than vice versa 
When I was applying to college, D1 riding wasn’t really a thing, so that wasn’t an option. My school had D3 riding as a varsity sport, so it was a good mix (but no scholarships for athletics), and we competed against some great schools – Hollins, Sweet Briar, UVA, etc. However, I also never thought for a second about being a riding/training professional as I knew I wasn’t talented enough for that!
I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think you can make the wrong decision here, as long as your parents can afford boarding school and college. If you’re using your college fund to attend boarding school, I am not sure that it’s worth it.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
Not college. Boarding school.
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