Me too. From the OP’s first post and all her psycho babble, I really wonder where her brain is. I have just determined it is “pick on hunters” month on COTH and teenagers have way more influence on adults than I realized.
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You called her trainer, who is not your trainer, to discuss somebody else’s minor child??? WHY? I’m shocked trainer discussed somebody else’s client child with anybody except the parents.
Out of line. You really need to step back here, borderline stalking. Seriously overstepping here. Comes off as obsessive.
Its a common mid teen phase to both be rebellious and over inflate their importance to impress their teen friends and most teens don’t have filters yet. Where she’s getting it is probably at home and the only person it is appropriate to discuss a minor child’s behavior is the child’s parent.
Why you keep saying this teen behavior is why you hate the HJ shows then say you never go to them and show out of a trailer ( fine, so did I, so what?)make you sound as jealous as any teen. MYOB, especially with random minor children that aren’t yours.
If I was the kids mom, I’d be beyond furious trainer discussed my child with you.
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Yeah, OP, you’re taking this a little far. Teens do and say stupid stuff. They’re teens. It’s basically their job. It is not, however, your job to police what this girl thinks and says. You’re an adult. Act like one.
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@findeight I am optimistically hoping OP took my advice (on P3?) to ask her own trainer not the “friend’s” as she mentioned in one of her posts that her trainer had said something about Teen being incorrect on some point or other.
However, I am starting to feel a tad creeped out by the incessant harping on She is Wrong, Right? feel of this thread as OP keeps pouring kerosene on the fire.
For an (alleged) Adult, she is sure spending a lot of time trying to gather evidence that she’s the better person…selflessly allowing poor, misguided Little Rich Girl to ride her wondrous - if bargain-basement - mare. :rolleyes:
Why a functioning adult would give any thought at all to a teenaged rant about What Should Be is beyond me.
@chirpybirdie For the Love of Pete, STF*U! already & let it die.
Print this thread out & scissor out all except the parts where you get your ego stroked, post on your stall & go about your life.
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I still think the OP and the teen are the same age. How does one in their 20s not remember what it was like being in high school? I’m close to 40 and I remember. OP claims to be a former EQ/Hunter rider that switched to Dressage. Hunters hasn’t changed THAT much.
Curious what the friend would say about this.
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Why on earth does a supposed adult care what a teenager they didn’t create thinks or says to them?
Go ride your horse, OP, and stop worrying about other people because it doesn’t matter.
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Ummmm…why??
Not your child, not your responsibility.
NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
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I’m really starting to agree with you. That really explains the borderline obsession that the OP has. I’m 30 and I very clearly remember high school, horse shows, and how much of a know-it-all I was 
I also can’t imagine someone my age having that much emotionally invested in a teenager that wasn’t their own.
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The fact that Teeny Teen has a pony changes the picture to me.
Her parents have put a fairly arbitrary but real limit on her competitive ability by refusing to buy her a full size horse. She isn’t riding a $200,000 17 hand equitation warmblood. She isn’t going to be jumping 3 foot 6 with ease, and she isn’t going to be doing really well with hunters where stride count is mandatory.
Parents could afford a bigger horse (we think, we don’t know) but they have chosen to put the brakes on and while child is allowed to run with the show crowd, she isn’t allowed to have a horse to match.
No wonder she is going on about the cost and details of big, high dollar horses. She is starting to realize that no matter how nice a rider she is, and how talented the pony, she is going to top out sooner rather than later.
All of this is about expressing her frustration that she cannot and will not be that competitive on current horse. And she is right that she needs a full size horse to compete in horse hunters.
It’s coming out sounding materialistic and narcissistic because teens. But at the heart of it she has a real dilemma.
It may be good for her character, and her parents bank account, to put a physical limit on her junior ambitions. If she really is a nice rider she may get to catch ride. But it has to be very frustrating for her to feel she is bring held back this way.
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Getting a whiff of that too. But don’t really feel strongly enough either way. Either OP is unhealthly obsessed with somebody else’s minor child or she’s a teen herself and lying.
This thread is kind of weird and uncomfortable. Note it’s a new poster as of the 21st. 2 days ago, who requires readers subscribe to see any posts on her profile. Very dramatic first and, I think, only thread.
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There is just so much not adding up. She’s got another thread about footing and has posted a bit since joining. For me at least I didn’t register until we HAD to to see Off Topic. And I was a bit chicken to post :lol: So I won’t hold that against the OP. This thread though…
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I’ve certainly known young adult trainers to get pissed off/ obsessive about teens who were for instance former clients who went on to another trainer and bought a better horse and were rude to remaining teen clients. Not a nice reaction, but not unheard of either.
Its also been my experience that young adults in their 20s can have varying amounts of emotional maturity and can be still working through some of the issues about envy, resentment, and unease about their own abilities and future. Many people in their early 20s still don’t have much on their CV and can end up doing “Fake It til you Make it” as well.
I don’t think there is anything particularly wierd in OP being vulnerable to the drama of this particular teen, since this teen replicates issues the OP still hasn’t fully resolved about her own life.
But it’s not healthy to be this vulnerable to anyone’s drama and I think this is a good learning opportunity about becoming an adult and learning to have confidence in yourself and your own path.
And realizing that children and teens are on their own planet, and even if they are good at something, they are not going to see the whole picture.
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It seems to me like OP is either 1) a troll 2) a teenager herself or 3) unhinged. Adults know better than to believe that one pony rider’s view is representative of an entire community/industry. Yes, it is inarguable that wealth and money make a difference in this sport, but if OP has the time to spend on COTH creating this thread and responding to nearly every post, she has time to look at the leagues of articles about hardworking, dedicated individuals that succeed in this sport at many levels. The concept “everyone is a materialistic brat that wants success handed to them without any hard work” is extremely narrow minded even if it may be true for some people out there. For every entitled person in hunter/jumper land, there are many others that work their tails off and have exceedingly solid skills, even if their money helped get them those skills. Rich people aren’t all lazy and materialistic. Being rich isn’t the only way to enjoy hunter/jumper competitions. OP (if you are actually seriously asking this) if you really are curious about the H/J world, get out to some shows and spend some time watching. Find a program with a trainer that can help you better understand the discipline and be your mentor. A child who rides a pony who is a beginner herself is not a great mentor for you. Don’t put her in that role… And stop analyzing her behavior as being anything other than immaturity.
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What a strange thread. OP should probably spend less time going onto anonymous bulletin boards to talk shit about the h/j world and a child rider and instead work on herself and her boundaries with juniors.
Go ride your horse.
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Seems that OP went poof. Or is busily stalking innocent teen. Or consulting thesaurus for more adult-like words to maintain facade of “not a teen.”
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Sounds like sour grapes to some point. What is wrong with wanting one that isn’t going to lawn dart you every ride? My TRAINER has said " I’m glad you finally have one that doesn’t make you work so hard. "
There is something extremely satisfying on bringing one along on your own. You still have to ride the made ones.
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The OP sounds like an alter for thecolorcoal
I think I might stop having the kid ride your horse for a while.
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To some point? Her posts have included a good dose of complaining her parents expect her to actually be an adult and pay for her own stuff.
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YES!! A quick looky-look at thecolorcoal (slow day at the office) and I agree 100%. Good call, IPEsq.
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:lol::lol::lol::lol:
i think i’ve known both.
