I make pennies compared to many on here and still have to be a “walking checkbook” sometimes. Ponies aren’t cheap and it’s not common for an employer to say “sure, take 3 hours off so that you can drive out to the barn, hold for an appointment, and come back smelling like horse every 5 weeks indefinitely”.
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Exactly!
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When I leave for good I promise to update this thread with more detail. In the meantime, I’m now getting: passive aggressive behavior. Lovely.
Tell me horse and I will be fine if we don’t have lessons or training rides for a month before we leave? Horse won’t kill me, but is relatively green and pretty powerful so tune ups do help.
Why is time continuing to stand still???
I’ll add that I’m not surprised by any of this. If trainer treated me poorly when I was trying my best to be a good client and friend, why on earth would I expect good behavior now? My therapist (man, I think everyone should have one) told me to view her behavior as predictable and boy she is right!
Edited to add: this thread may just be me venting for the next 4-5 weeks 
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Are you putting horse in a program at new barn? I might consider just giving your horse a vacation until you move to the new barn and then let new pro do the first couple rides :).
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Yup, horse will be in a program at new barn! He needs to have a job between now and then (turnout at present barn has been limited, in part because of rain and heat) but that job will just likely be me. It’s demoralizing to lesson with someone who has stopped trying to teach.
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This is part of learning to be more responsible for your own horse.
Things that will help. Free longeing run and buck sessions as needed. Longeing before every ride to gauge his energy level and work on obedient transitions up and down. Basic groundwork in hand, walk halt etc.
It is OK if you don’t ride him as long as he gets to stretch his legs at least 5 times a week.
It is OK if you just ride him walk or walk trot and focus on balance and bend. You don’t need to canter or jump as long as he is getting to stretch his legs free longe, round pen, or longe line.
The trainer predictably withdrawing is partly to set you up for failure without her. So rise to the challenge.
Dont feel you need to match her training rides or replicate a lesson. Don’t worry about her watching and judging. Allow yourself to step down and back as of this is a new horse and work on getting to know him. And yourself.
Sometimes training rides keep a horse more forwards and tuned up than a nervous AA really wants.
Imagine you have the horse on your own private farm. How would you go about settling in alone with him?
The biggest problem AAs have with hot horses is letting them get too bottled up, misreading the signs, and rushing to ride. Let him get the wiggles out while you are on the ground and keep the rides quiet.
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If your coach has stopped trying to teach, then you need to figure out how to learn on your own, always a key skill. Start observing your horse, and understanding his cycles of energy and calm.
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Thanks Scribbler :). He’s very good and irony is I do most of the rides myself anyway. I think I am much more competent than she lets on. If she wants to take money out of her own pocket by not wanting to work with me until I leave then 
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Yes I’m sure you are perfectly competent to do “holding pattern” schooling rides for a month where you cycle through what you know. If he gets too hot let him run it off on the round pen or free longe.
Many of us go weeks or months between lessons and still make progress.
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What @Scribbler said so well. Play with your horse and enjoy him.
Of course she is being a pill. Save your money.
Vent away.
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If you are at all worried about safety, cut down or even cut our grain. Buy him grassy hay and feed that. If he and you dont know how to lunge in side reins, find a trainer to teach him and you. This must be a trainer who knows how to use them and that they are not used to pull a horse’s head in.
It is not side reins that kill and maim horses. It is people who use side reins incorrectly who kill and maim horses.
This will set you up with this horse and any horse for the rest of your life
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Did I mention it’s going to be a long month?
She’s vacillating between “you’re irrelevant” and “oh s&#! MY name is going to be associated with your horse and your riding at new farm so we have to have you in Olympic shape for when you leave.”
As a relevant aside, horse needs to go 2 hours to new farm. I need to bug new farm for firm date at end of next month (they said yes definitely but needed to know when one other person was leaving so it was a bit of a chain event). How much advance notice would I need for a shipper to do this kind of trip? New trainer has a person they recommend who is local—I’ll get that name. I’m assuming this is easier to book than longer journey?
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I would contact the shipper recommended by the farm now and explain your time frame so you are on their radar and you know if they absolutely cannot do this.
Generally summer weekends can be busy for local haulers as they do shows.
I would ask the farm if there is any random paddock or field you could toss your horse in for a few days if the shipper and the outgoing boarder can’t align nicely.
But definitely contact shipper now as a heads up because it might turn out they are going out of town that week or truck has had a breakdown, etc. Just because farm recommends them doesn’t mean they do the farm’s bidding.
If they can’t ask them for another recommendation.
Ignore your bitch trainer. If you want to be passive aggressive you could sweetly reassure her you have no intention of mentioning her name in the new barn. No, don’t. That’s just my own inner bitch coming out. Don’t poke the bear.
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You are waiting for a call back.
Never give more info or the complete story in these situations. Not their business.
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I’m my experience, it depends on proximity to major shipping routes more than the distance. Rigs run pretty much daily up and down the east coast from NY to FL, for example. Need to go to Northern Michigan? That’s going to be tougher.
Check Facebook horse groups for your area. I see reputable shippers advertising fill rates for trips departing within the week all the time. Two hours isn’t a long trip. That’s 2-horse bumper pull radius. You could rent 2 horsa trailer & go. That’s what I would do. Or (depending on insurance implications) have a trailer-owner friend haul the horse.
If it were me, all training rides & lessons with fruitloop trainer would immediate cease. She can’t “fix” the horse in a month. And what is there to fix? And why? Think about it. She’s had the horse long enough that 1) Any training holes rest squarely on her shoulders 2) imho, if the horse will fall apart without 4 training rides & multiple lessons per week, then that horse is a bad match for your abilities as you describe them. And that means she either sold the horse to you knowing you and it would require extensive professional facilitation & she saw dollar signs. Or maybe worse, she has no clue how to appropriately match client & horse.
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So I thought I was all set at new barn. Got phone call from new trainer today that BO at new barn decided there isn’t a stall for me. After I was promised a stall. Three weeks before I was set to move horse. After we found a place to live that was good location near barn and other things. New trainer is not BO and is also screwed so not her fault, but wholly unprofessional behavior from
BO in general. BO knew that this trainer’s new client (me) was coming from out of state and had made living and work arrangements in light of the promised stall. She didn’t care.
I then called trainer at another barn that I also liked when I was looking and they can take me. It’s an hour from where we had signed a lease to live. So now we need to figure out how this is going to work.
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You’ve got this! This is just a road bump in the grand scheme of things. So things are not quite as convenient for a bit… You are tough and looking back you will see it is all worth it. In the end all that matters is that you and your horse are starting a new adventure, away from where you are now.
If you liked the first trainer, did you ask them about other boarding options in the area that you started this whole thing?
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Or, despite bitchy BO, asked to be put back on their waiting list so that when a stall ACTUALLY opens up, you can move Horsie to the location convenient to your lease?
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Go there for now. It may be annoying for a bit, but then you have time to sort out another place closer to where you are living. Or after a year, you move house again to a more convenient location (a pain, but not the worst thing in the world. If you think you might do this I’d just leave a lot of stuff packed).
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