I’ve noticed when I ride, that I have a tendency to have tension in my pelvis/hip area which in turn causes me to tense my upper thighs and makes for jerky, half hearted aids.
It doesn’t matter what saddle, bareback, I even threw my roping saddle on the horse and I still do the same thing. I know this has got to be a pain for my horse, but it’s like I have no control over them.
My right side is worse than my left.
Yoga? Double hip replacement? I do see a chiro regularly.
I have so much tension in my legs and hips, I could make diamonds with them.
Only thing that helps me is to ride ride without stirrups and let them hang, even for just a few minutes per ride. When I get my stirrups back, I am not as grippy.
Oh, and I did see that you said it even happens bareback. I think they key is to do this REGULARLY, and it has a cumulative effect.
Yoga or other stretching. Probably your psoas muscles are too tight. If it is not related to muscles which need more stretch, it may be an unconscious muscle tightening in which body awareness methods such as Feldenkrais can help, but for most of us it is either IT band or psoas causing it.
Okay, what works for me - sit in saddle, put your knees up in front of you and make sure that you are sitting on your seatbones, with equal weight in each seat. Then stretch down your legs as far as they will go, then catch your ankle and pull your leg back so that your knee is pointing straight down. Do this at halt and walk. That puts you in a pretty good position.
The other thing is do stirrupless trot for so long that your muscles are too tired to tense up 
Look at this series of articles: http://www.horsenation.com/2012/04/25/fit-to-ride-the-sitting-trot/
I like practicing yoga (with awareness, because it helps me to take the feelings to the saddle).
Also, I take seat lessons occasionally. I have just taken one approximately two months ago, because I felt I was regressing and could not fix it on my own.
With seat lessons, I like I do not have to worry about controlling the horse. I can fully concentrate on myself & relax. Plus, a good instructor can see the tensions and help.
Sally Swift’s Centered Riding book has helped me through years, but it is not everybody’s cup of tea.
I am also going to post the following link to a video, I have found a couple of years ago. I like it as a good reminder of what our seat should be like. It also includes a few exercises (overall position). You might find it a little bit helpful, too.
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-improve-your-classical-seat-in-horse-riding
Sounds like your IT band and/or hip flexors are tight. Doing lots of stretches at home, using a foam roller and trying to stretch these areas in the saddle have helped me greatly.
There are tons of ideas for stretches in these areas on youtube.
I always begin my rides with 5-10 minutes without stirrups as well.
From an equipment prospective, try a saddle with a short, canted external roll. This prevents your “quads” and “hams” from contracting by offering them support. They will relax and become retrained.
I too tend to tense my hip and upper thigh when I sit trot or sit prior to asking for a canter transition. Although, I don’t have this problem any other time.
After trial and error, bareback makes it worse since I feel too… free for lack of a better term.
When we aren’t dealing with baby hyper moments I will drop my stirrups, keep the correct leg position but let my leg hang and think about allowing your horse’s hips move yours. Tighten core.
Typically, I only do sitting and some posting trot… occassionally a canter w/o stirrups but it really helps free my hips and tire my thighs so I really Can’t grip through the rest of my ride.
Stretching and body awareness - I use Pilates, Yoga will also work. Tight hamstrings are very common in anyone who has to sit in an office all day (aka the common working stiff that most of us are).
You might try Mark Russell’s video on Riding with Chi. Good easy exercises for whole body relaxation and stretching, plus breathing exercises.
http://www.amazon.com/Riding-With-Chi-Pathway-Mastery/dp/B002MT3CHU
I have experienced similar issues and found I had a very tight hip flexors after years of riding a desk. All the suggestions thus far from other COTHers are good ones but I found a series of mobility exercises called the Agile 8 on defrancotraining.com particularly helpful. If you do a search on the web for Joe DeFranco you will find video demos as well. These exercises are all common ones but I think they are packaged well by this particular trainer. They focus on the muscle groups which limit mobility of the hips. You will need a foam roller, a tennis ball, 15 minutes a day and the will to work through some rather unpleasant myofascial release. The 8 have made a big difference in my seat; now, if I could just get the tension out of my shoulders…
Yoga to open your hips. Pilates to strengthen your core in case your are using your thigh/hips to compensate. Tension usually starts with weakness from other areas, and that is where you need to address. Also, it might be worth it to see a orthopedic surgeon in case something else is going on. I have a very painful left shoulder that has been going on for years. It was not until my neck started hurting that a diagnose was made that I got a herniated disc on C(4?).
I discovered I was gripping with my thighs because my stirrups were a tad long. They were a good dressage length but as my horse gains more muscle and develops he is getting a lot more “spring” (he is a big guy at 17.2") and so shortening my stirrups up about a half hole/hole made a difference. And then always remember to breathe, its helps everything even though I keep forgetting to…
I don’t have this problem when I ride, but when I run I really notice the tension in my hips (it takes me a good 2-3 mi to even warm up enough that they are looser). And yeah, yoga has made a world of difference for me! I just youtube beginner yoga and do the vids that pop up (I have some I like more than others but any should help). Also, right before I run (and you could do this right before you ride), I do a couple deep squats (basically let your butt almost touch the ground and stay there for a few moments–I can usually feel my hips crack and/or get looser). I hope this helps!
[QUOTE=Pembroke;7416086]
Look at this series of articles: http://www.horsenation.com/2012/04/25/fit-to-ride-the-sitting-trot/[/QUOTE]
I found the first article - how do I find the rest? (yes, I searched the site.)
If you type “fit to ride” with the quotes in the search box, and go back a page, it’s a series. (They really could make it harder, but not much…Bad web design is bad.)
I find that doing sit the trot then rise then sit for a few strides each helps ‘loosen’ my seat. And I don’t sit just to sit, I try to get a couple ‘good’ sit strides, not disrupting his back or rhythm.
[QUOTE=TequilaMockingbird;7416188]
Sounds like your IT band and/or hip flexors are tight. Doing lots of stretches at home, using a foam roller and trying to stretch these areas in the saddle have helped me greatly.
There are tons of ideas for stretches in these areas on youtube.
I always begin my rides with 5-10 minutes without stirrups as well.[/QUOTE]
This is me. Try a sports massage, your glutes might be tight too. I try for a massage every 3-4 weeks and it makes a huge difference having someone help me stretch than by myself. It doesn’t have to break the bank either, ask your chiro or try Massage Envy, very affordable.
I’ve heard amazing things about Massage Envy, particularly the one in north Frederick, MD if you’re around that way. There’s apparently one masseuse who specializes in athletes.
I recommend ballet though.
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