the barn bitch is leaving!

[Nezzy]

We have had a terrible person working at the barn where I board. Don’t you hate when you feel tension when you go to the barn? I want to feel happy when i go up to ride.

This person is living at the rental house on the farm, has a horse boarded here, and works at the barn as well as having a full time job. She is a hard worker, but she is very passive/aggressive. as in, ‘if you can’t read my mind and move your horse when i send you esp, then i am going to take out all my anger on you, without saying a word to you’. She gets angry if the boarders come to ride before she finishes her work, she is friendly with the barn owner, which makes the boarders feel like we have no say in the matter.

Well i found out last week that she is MOVING out and quitting and moving far away. I am SOO thrilled. So maybe the new barn help won’t be perfect, i’ll take it over miss passive aggressive.

Why do so many people who work at stables have a hard time being kind and friendly?

[SnicklefritzG]

I can see both sides of the situation. Managing a barn is not easy. One has to deal with barn emergencies, horses that need care when they need it, not necessarily at a convenient time, requests from boarders, some which may or may not be reasonable, etc. for all we know she might be inundated with requests from other boarders and it’s just too much.

This person has a full time job in addition to their barn job and is likely overloaded. I can understand why she might be somewhat grumpy at the barn.

The BO might not be setting this person up for success. She may be better off with someone who doesn’t work full time at another job.

That said, no matter how busy someone is, they should be polite and able to say hello and smile.

[Nezzy]

She is NOT the BM. She is just staff. Turnout the stall hoses (less than 6) feed, clean up to 6 stalls, Boarders do not complain to her, she has no decisions to make, just has to do her job. If a horse is hurt, she calls the owner and the BM. She does not handle emergencies unless she is the only one available, but owners are usually available. I’m not saying her job is not important, bc it is, and she was a good worker, up until recently. She chose to work here to help the cost of her horse’s board. Trust me, the boarders never say anything rude to her, b/c we have been intimidated by her friendship with the BO. Always smile, say “Hello”, and try to stay on her good side, but she has made it uncomfortable to enter the barn. the boarders that already know she is leaving are SO relieved.

[RxCate]

[QUOTE=Nezzy;8071476]
She is NOT the BM. She is just staff. Turnout the stall hoses (less than 6) feed, clean up to 6 stalls, Boarders do not complain to her, she has no decisions to make, just has to do her job. If a horse is hurt, she calls the owner and the BM. She does not handle emergencies unless she is the only one available, but owners are usually available. I’m not saying her job is not important, bc it is, and she was a good worker, up until recently. She chose to work here to help the cost of her horse’s board. Trust me, the boarders never say anything rude to her, b/c we have been intimidated by her friendship with the BO. Always smile, say “Hello”, and try to stay on her good side, but she has made it uncomfortable to enter the barn. the boarders that already know she is leaving are SO relieved.[/QUOTE]

Bolded mine- that’s what I don’t understand. You should ALL be ‘friends’ with the BO & BM. There should be no intimidation as if the BO is the Wizard of Oz and all powerful.

Boarders are the bosses of the barns, hate to say it. BO/BM’s have rules and contracts set in place to make sure everyone minds their P’s & Q’s but at the end of the day, the boarders are the ones who keep these farms afloat and ultimately the BO/BM are at their mercy within reason/contract. No one should be intimidated by anyone. If that’s the case then someone has an attitude problem and most likely needs to go.

[Nezzy]

not in this case. BO does not like dealing with boarders, has threatened to shut the farm down and get steer. He used to have a cow farm and has said the frustration of the boarders drives him crazy.

As nice as we are to him, he is not a friendly guy. The reason we are all still there is b/c he owns a farm on a the edge of a state park with 18+ miles of trails. I live 3 miles from my horse. There are no other trails nearby and i don’t have a truck or trailer. Horses have hay 24/7. I don’t WANT to board anywhere else. But if he had competition, i’d probably be gone. BM is his ex-step daughter who is a friend of mine. she is easier to deal with but not great. unfortunately not every farm has a friendly staff. it is sad for those who have to deal with this.

[AlterN8tive]

Far as we know, the “barn bitch” is posting on another BB saying something like “I’m so glad I am leaving this barn. These boarders are just the absolute worst people who don’t want me to be friends with the BO.”

Always two sides to a story… well, three if you count the truth.

I guess it’s good she’ll be out of your hair soon.

[crosscreeksh]

Jeez guys…lighten up!! OP is just stating her relief that a bad/unpleasant situation is coming to an end!!! A statement…not asking for advice or input. OP - glad you are getting some peace!!

[Ladylexie]

[QUOTE=Nezzy;8071476]
She is NOT the BM. She is just staff. Turnout the stall hoses (less than 6) feed, clean up to 6 stalls, Boarders do not complain to her, she has no decisions to make, just has to do her job. If a horse is hurt, she calls the owner and the BM. She does not handle emergencies unless she is the only one available, but owners are usually available. I’m not saying her job is not important, bc it is, and she was a good worker, up until recently. She chose to work here to help the cost of her horse’s board. Trust me, the boarders never say anything rude to her, b/c we have been intimidated by her friendship with the BO. Always smile, say “Hello”, and try to stay on her good side, but she has made it uncomfortable to enter the barn. the boarders that already know she is leaving are SO relieved.[/QUOTE]

Ha ha JUST THE STAFF I’m wondering if she is picking up on you thinking that she is lowly staff???

[Nezzy]

[QUOTE=Ladylexie;8072670]
Ha ha JUST THE STAFF I’m wondering if she is picking up on you thinking that she is lowly staff???[/QUOTE]

after i posted i realized how that must sound, and i apologize to anyone who thought that was what i meant. I just meant that this person’s position was not high enough for her to make decisions or to complain to. I appreciate everything she has done to help our horses, and i know it’s important work that she is doing. I mean she feeds my horse, she cleans his water trough, ( i hope) and she makes sure he has hay. I am appreciative and i did not mean to imply that the job she has is unimportant. I have always given her a monetary Xmas gift even though we are not required to do so.

I am just relieved that the barn will no longer be a stressful place to walk into.

[TWH_Girl]

[QUOTE=Nezzy;8072745]
after i posted i realized how that must sound, and i apologize to anyone who thought that was what i meant. I just meant that this person’s position was not high enough for her to make decisions or to complain to. I appreciate everything she has done to help our horses, and i know it’s important work that she is doing. I mean she feeds my horse, she cleans his water trough, ( i hope) and she makes sure he has hay. I am appreciative and i did not mean to imply that the job she has is unimportant. I have always given her a monetary Xmas gift even though we are not required to do so.

I am just relieved that the barn will no longer be a stressful place to walk into.[/QUOTE]

No need to apologize. I think most of us got what you meant.

Lucky you!! Some people are cancerous and when gone, situations bloom and turn positive…who’d giess??

[Ladylexie]

[QUOTE=Nezzy;8072745]
after i posted i realized how that must sound, and i apologize to anyone who thought that was what i meant. I just meant that this person’s position was not high enough for her to make decisions or to complain to. I appreciate everything she has done to help our horses, and i know it’s important work that she is doing. I mean she feeds my horse, she cleans his water trough, ( i hope) and she makes sure he has hay. I am appreciative and i did not mean to imply that the job she has is unimportant. I have always given her a monetary Xmas gift even though we are not required to do so.

I am just relieved that the barn will no longer be a stressful place to walk into.[/QUOTE]

Ok that is good.

[Nezzy]

a bit of a backstory- she was a boarder before she worked at the barn. We were all friends and friendly with her. And i am usually always Friends with the barn staff, and i am the one who pops in at any time, brings coffee to the barn person, etc…

She just went off on so many people, she isolated herself and found herself with no one to ride with.

[Nuages]

Not that it is acceptable for her to be consistently crabby with people at her part-time job, but I wonder if there is something serious happening at her full-time job. Sometimes there’s stress spill-over, and if you were once friendly and suddenly she went off, I just wonder if there is something else afoot.

Either way, it is nice when the barn bitch leaves!

[SuzieQNutter]

I will celebrate with you. Yyyaaayyyy!!!

[RPM]

[QUOTE=Nezzy;8072745]
after i posted i realized how that must sound, and i apologize to anyone who thought that was what i meant. I just meant that this person’s position was not high enough for her to make decisions or to complain to. I appreciate everything she has done to help our horses, and i know it’s important work that she is doing. I mean she feeds my horse, she cleans his water trough, ( i hope) and she makes sure he has hay. I am appreciative and i did not mean to imply that the job she has is unimportant. I have always given her a monetary Xmas gift even though we are not required to do so.

I am just relieved that the barn will no longer be a stressful place to walk into.[/QUOTE]

LOL sometimes I wish COTH would no longer be a stressful place to walk into! :lol:

I feel your pain, Nezzy, and your relief. If you were not where you are, and I were not where I am, I would almost think I know that barn worker. Mine had a slightly different personality, but did live on the property and seemed to think she had much more authority than she really did!

[Draftygirl]

I did night chores in exchange for board for many years at a barn where I had become a re-rider many years before that on lesson horses before I acquired my own. I didn’t live there, but otherwise the barn bitch and I probably had much in common as far as duties. There was one dressage lady there with two horses (read: BO needed to keep her happy) who had incidentally also recently become an “L” judge. She was the only boarder there who actually gave me something useful for Christmas, but I really disliked her. I don’t think she had an idea of how odious her attitude was. My job was to fill the buckets, put hay in the stalls, bring in the horses, give them their grain, get breakfast ready, sweep the aisle, ride my mare, and go home. DQ thought nothing of telling me that her horses’ red cell needed decanting, which was most def not in my job description. That’s the one that sticks out in memory since red cell is such a nasty business and to me, if she wanted her horses to have it she needs to prepare the mess her own self. She would always nit-pick about every last thing to the point where I complained to the BO, who was and is still my friend. BO commiserated because she had had the same kinds of experiences with this boarder but since this was going on during the downturn a few years ago and the woman had two horses she was paying board on, BO felt that her hands were tied. I finally left what was otherwise a nice situation for me and my horse squarely because I couldn’t take going to the barn and having the stress of her being there every single night exactly at the time I was doing chores.

DQ has moved on as well but I’ve never asked my friend the BO about it. Now I’m keeping my mare at home finally so have a whole new set of problems with my formerly sensible and sane horse who becomes a screaming, frantic mess when I try to separate her from her pony, but that’s a story for another day.

[Sunflower]

I am starting to think there are barn personality “archetypes”, in other words, certain kinds of personalities that are present at every barn.

One is the loud-mouthed know it all that loves to give unsolicited ( and usually not very well informed) advice. This is a self appointed expert who love to tell everyone what to do and what they are doing wrong. This advice is usually delivered several hundred decibels louder than needed to be heard. It is not enough that the person is sticking their nose every where-- it is done so loudly that everyone can get the “benefit” of this offering.

Another is the teenage whiz kid-- an insanely talented, hard working, sweet as pie kid who doesn’t come from a lot of money-- who works hard, is polite and helpful, unassuming, and clearly going to go “somewhere” in the horse business. This is almost the anti-thesis of the loud mouthed know it all.

The know it all is a different stripe from the drama queen or barn bitch. The know it all is all up in arms about what YOU do-- not about what happens to them or their horse. The DQ or BB has another focus-- themselves!!! They fuss about details not usually visible to the naked eye, and exist in the vortex of their own created drama and contention.

And doubtless there are others-- but these 3 seem to be a staple at every barn.

[nccatnip]

I get it and will celebrate with you. I left a barn because the barn bitch had BO convinced she was indespensable and was lucky to have her. BO wanted more free time with her family and BB was left to her own devices. Since many owners were absent there were no complaints. When my horse was injured thru stupidity of barn bitch, I was out of there in a heart beat. BO was still convinced of BB being the bomb, even commenting in how many times she “caught” injuries of horses. Never occurred to her to wonder why there were so many.

[TWH_Girl]

[QUOTE=Sunflower;8073524]
I am starting to think there are barn personality “archetypes”, in other words, certain kinds of personalities that are present at every barn.

One is the loud-mouthed know it all that loves to give unsolicited ( and usually not very well informed) advice. This is a self appointed expert who love to tell everyone what to do and what they are doing wrong. This advice is usually delivered several hundred decibels louder than needed to be heard. It is not enough that the person is sticking their nose every where-- it is done so loudly that everyone can get the “benefit” of this offering.

Another is the teenage whiz kid-- an insanely talented, hard working, sweet as pie kid who doesn’t come from a lot of money-- who works hard, is polite and helpful, unassuming, and clearly going to go “somewhere” in the horse business. This is almost the anti-thesis of the loud mouthed know it all.

The know it all is a different stripe from the drama queen or barn bitch. The know it all is all up in arms about what YOU do-- not about what happens to them or their horse. The DQ or BB has another focus-- themselves!!! They fuss about details not usually visible to the naked eye, and exist in the vortex of their own created drama and contention.

And doubtless there are others-- but these 3 seem to be a staple at every barn.[/QUOTE]

This is sooo true!! My personal favorite is the barn help, loud mouth know it all. Horse chewing on wood? Must have ulcers. New horse a bit thin? Better put him on weight gain supplement. New horses feet look bad better get him in with farrier, who she proceeds to talk to on my behalf and brief him. Then she read an article on using whips and they’re ineffective. Sigh…turns out article was on race horses.

Yep there’s one in every barn!

[Draftygirl]

OH! I remember the thing that got on my last nerve besides the red cell.

Since she always got there at dinnertime/bring in time she didn’t want me to put hay in her horses’ stalls so that she could ride them both first.

Then she’d scream at me for not leaving hay for them, as if I were her personal slave. As if her arms were broken and she wasn’t able to do it herself.

There. I always held my tongue at the time. I hope you’re reading this now, Gail. You know who you are.