Please don`t wait on this.
Grab mane, KICK and attack this fence then Gallop down to the next.
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Well since Surgery is now off the table it must be rather extensive. I am going to talk to the oncologist to see how long I have how advanced and what options.
But I am not going to waste my last time in chemo if I am going to die anyway. We will see.
I accept it, but I sure did not think it would be the outcome.
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Jingles and hugs to you. Take it one day at a time. I believe chemo is sometimes started to shrink the masses prior to surgery. Talk to your oncologist and see what the next step is. This isnât over yet.
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Sannois⊠I am so, so sorry to hear this.
I know not what you excepted or wanted to hear but please donât throw in the towel before you have heard all your options and had the good fight.
I can understand not want to waste âlast timeâ in chemo but also remember we all will eventually die of something. Give this a good spanking before you stop chemo. Talk to your oncologist. Talk to all your Drâs. Is there a patient advocate you can talk to? Support groups. Yes, good to make an informed decision but giving up âearlyâ may not be the right direction to be taking just yet.
Write down your questions and ask, ask, ask. Be honest with your Drâs about your goals and objectives and their opinions on direction, prognosis, outcomes⊠remember also that each of us is different in how the treatment will affect us. Remember also that positive thoughts (not just ours, but yours) will also make a huge difference in outcome.
Give yourself a big hug from me {{Kim}}
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I so appreciate you guys! You are wonderful folks.
I know that stage 4 with liver and lymph nodes is bad. Yes I will talk to an oncologist, but I will not undergo all sorts of treatment that may not give me much time. The cancer is quite advanced, maybe more advanced than I have let on.
I do know I do not want to suffer. and would like to live what time I have to the fullest. As strange as that may sound. I decided long before this, that if I ever was diagnosed wit advanced cancer I would not undergo chemo.
I would have had it not spread, and surgery was an option. IF the oncologist is optimistic and has some good treatments And it may prolong my life with good quality, I will go for it. I am 60. I do not want to die, but I do not want to live a miserable inactive end of life either. Hope you guys can understand. I love you all for your caring and kindness and support. Kim
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Oh, I am so sorry - I know this is not the news you wanted. Donât give up hope just yet. Cancer treatments are much more advanced and have more positive outcomes these days. I have worked in a hospital and have seen many fight and lose but have seen many more fight on and do well. Everyone of us is here for you. I wish I could be there to give you a big olâ hug and share my kitten with you so you could get a good laugh.
One other thing: oncologists are sometimes not known for their delightful bedside manner. Some have learned that it works for them to be blunt (sometimes to point of rudeness) and others are very compassionate. Just donât be put off by a crankypants. Sometimes they are more efficient.
Jingling like a crazy person for you.
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((hugs)) laced with
strength
patience
comfort
and
friendship ~
Youâve got friends ~
Jingles & AO ~
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OP - do not give up yet.
I was diagnosed with lymphoma last year. Due to the way that works, it was stage IV, and usually is (damn efficient, those lymph nodes). I had chemo and it was NOTHING like what I expected. I did not lose my hair, get nauseous, or any of the stuff you read about. Seriously. I did get a little more tired, and had some other minor effects. I would put all those into a âdiscomfortâ category (like, waking up at night and not being able to get back to sleep).
Chemo gets WAY better every year - God Bless those biochemists - so donât jump to any conclusions based on stuff from more that four or so years ago. I survived and am thriving after 6 rounds of once-a-month treatment.
I am 60. I will say that nothing like a diagnosis of stage IV to focus your mind and cause you to confront your own mortality.
Aside from all that darkness: get a solid oncologist that you trust. Accept no substitutes. Not sure where you live, but we are really fortunate here in Phoenix to have MD Anderson and Mayo Clinic both as options. Good luck!
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Kim, Forgive me for jumping into this conversation, I have been following it since your first post but as I donât know you, Iâve been just a silent supporter. Iâm so very sorry that you did not get the news that you hoped for after your CT scan. I admire your willingness to share your story, and the support you get here is truly amazing. I just want to add to it by saying that I hear you when you say that you donât want to spend your final days doing chemo treatments if they wonât make a marked difference. I think you are brave no matter the path you choose, and honorable and strong. And while we all want you to fight like only a horse girl can, I think many of us understand that sometimes thereâs peace and beauty in knowing when to enjoy what you have and not fight in futility for more. I lost one of my best friends to this disease, and I saw her go down both of these paths. No one can say which is better for you, except you. You have our love and our admiration and our support, every day, all day, no matter what.
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Itâs ultimately a personal choice and I have much respect for those that make these decisions. It isnât easy. My mother passed away due to cancer, but her last year was not so pleasant due to treatments. If someone wishes to not pursue treatment and live out their time as best as they can, I can totally understand that. I donât wish these types of situations/decisions on anyone. Regardless of what you decide to do, I wish the best for you with the least amount of suffering. No one should have to go through this, but remember, you are not alone.
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{{{{Sannois}}}}. Most definitely your body and your choice but first get all the info the docs have to offer and then make your decisions. Donât dismiss treatment just yet.
Go to the oncologist prepared with ALL the questions you have. Drag someone with you to have that second set of ears.
We are here for you.
Susan
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I understand your point of view. Do make sure to wait for all of the information though, and tell them your feelings, make it clear about the quality of life that is important to you. Tell more than one doctor and tell the nurses as well.
Hang in there Sannois. Iâve lost more friends to cancer than I care to remember, but have had some that made it through as well, and the chemo is better than it used to be.
See what can be done and ask many professionals about the treatments. Youâll have to demand not to be coddled or mislead about your chances. They will not want to discourage you if there is a chance they can beat it.
Make a plan with them about what is acceptable to you and what is not, as far as side effects of treatment are concerned.
Sending love and strength your way.
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Kim, no one can make this decision but youâŠI also have a friend who survived stage 4! This year 5 for her. Whatever YOUR decision I respect it and send you big hugs!!
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Thank you Bogey, I want to know what the oncologist has to say. I have read extensively on the treatment of metastatic colorectal cancer treatments, and it sounds like a very complex thing. But another year would be nice. another summer.
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Thank you for this Skydy. That is how I plan to handle it. You guys are all amazing people!!!
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Absolutely, I will take the Ex with me. Hopefully he does not cry! 
In truth guys, while I am shocked, I am most upset for leaving him. He has depended on me for so long, it breaks my heart to think what he will do. He does have his sister though, who is a cool person and loves him dearly.
He said to me last night, I am so ashamed of myself, feeling sorry for myself with the hip situation, And all I have to worry about is a limp and walking with a cane for the rest of my life. 
Please know that you are in the thoughts of many. Wishing you strength and peace with whatever decisions you make.
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Keeping you in my thoughts. As otherâs have said, itâs your body and your life and your call as to how to deal with this. Just know we are there in our cyber way to listen, cry, laugh and help you as you need it or not.
Donât feel obligated or pressured to discuss what is personal, we are not obligated to know any more then what you freely want to share.
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This needs to be repeated. I, too, can understand your desire not to deal with a reduced quality of life, if there is no positibe outcome. But, please, donât give up the fight until you have all of the facts. Cancer treatment has advanced so rapidly that even those treated a year or so ago many not have had the advantage of treatments that are available now. For now, gather all the facts you can, in order to make the best decision possible.
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Thinking of you and wishing you hope and comfort during this difficult time. ((Hugs))
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