Selfish?? No way!!! My thread is your thread. If I can help I would love to. Post away!!!
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Well, then I can tell ya, as TMI as this is, I had a weirdish mole on my back right shoulder. I did go to the dermatologist, then took it off, but called and reccomended a plastic surgeon. They said it was benign, so I was like âpffft- Stitches, near my bra strap in an area I canât easily access to watch, time off work? Nahhh!â
I did make the follow up appointment.
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Looking in on you ~ sending wishes for a quiet day with spring sunshine ~ and the comfort of cats ~
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Thanks so much for the sweet card ZuZu! it was such a nice surprise since I never get any mail.
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Okay I am sharing.
the really rotten thing about this disease, is that it has sapped my energy. I should have known over the winter that something was up. I used to have so much energy. Now I am tired a lot, and even taking naps only goes so far.
I was working in the yard here yesterday, for 2 hours raking up the front beds, and they are not that big, and wheel barrowing them into the woods. I was whipped.
then I tried to do some work on the back Patio garden at the exâs. That lasted maybe an hour. And poor him, he has done nothing for almost 3 years, since he could not walk except on crutches until just a few months ago.
We were quite a pathetic pair. I used to work all day in the yard there, every day.
It makes me so sad. That is why I will not most likely subject myself to a bunch of Chemo, other than maybe to make it slow down.
I sit here typing now, and could go sleep. I seem to sleep 3 or 4 hour increments, even at night. never all the way through for some time now.
And I now get why I sort of feel generally icky most days, it is a symptom of Liver involvement.
I tell my self that I can have anything I want, and most things do not sound good anymore.
See what I mean about quality of life? I was such an active person always, this is just whittling away at me.
Wow, suddenly I just burst into tears. so pathetic, and so not me. 
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Sending you hugs, and jingles. Youâve been hit with a lot lately, and bursting into tears is a normal reaction.
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Where do you live Kim? I would like to at least send you a card!
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Fight what you can, accept what you should`t waste energy fighting.
Same sleep pattern over here. Some days I go back to bed AND take a nap.
Just like the title of another thread I`m just so tired, why even botherâŠ
When is the oncologist appointment ??
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I would like a PM too! Send you a care package or somethingâŠ
The liver is a pretty amazing organ. It has a terrific capacity for recovering from all kinds of things - it has to, look at all the crap some people feed it!!! It can also function just fine if some of it has to be removed.
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AGH God V I forgot to email you, I wrote yours down, and now cannt find it, or the post you wrote it one.
Please tell me again, Wait is it your user name and yahoo? DAng, so sorry.
Heck I feel like just putting my address here, What can t hurt.
Have not heard yet!
Tell the Drs about being tired.
It may be something they can address, low thyroid perhaps.
Donât assume is cancer, or whatever they give you.
I had a spell of a few years not so long ago that I was just not feeling good.
I was getting way too tired.
Driving more than an hour and I had to pull over to rest a little.
So tired it hurt at times.
Having a bad heart, I assumed that was the problem.
Until I had a serious gallbladder attack.
The surgeon said, âwere you not just feeling very tired and plain off?
That gallbladder was sick for long timeâ.
Light went on, that was the problem.
Been back to normal since the sick gallbladder is gone.
Do have your Drs check that out for other problems.
The tiredness could be from other.
Donât just live with being tired, whatever the cause, they can help that.
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Fatigue can come from a lot of reasons, such as anemia, and low Vitamin D levels.
Well my blood work was excellent. The doc had warned me that fatigue and generally feeling blah was a symptom of stage iv. And it is at the top of the list for liver involvement.
And at the risk of TMI there are other issues that are getting worse. But I knew they would.
Anemia was the first think he checked when I had the bleeding.
Okay more sharing. As far as the two elderly cats go, I will put them both to sleep. Handsome is rounding 16, and while he is not really sick his mental state has always been questionable, now it is much worse.
He is a mamas boy, I am the only person he knows. he is terrified of everything and everyone.
I would never send him to anywhere else. he has had a great life.
And sevy the 14?? yr old female that I adopted from the HS over a year and a half ago, she is quite a case,
I was happy to give her a nice year or so. She is crippled and limps so bad from a bad declaw.
She took almost 6 months to warmup to me, and hides for hours if I have a workman in the house.
IF they were both young and social I would not consider it.
Ex has a cat. she is an awesome cat that someone tossed out a car the fall after I bought this house. She is blind in one eye, declawed, but just the coolest smartest cat.
I asked him what he will do with her after he sells his house⊠he said Take her with him!!
That made me happy. He really loves her. Funny how I turned him into a cat person after all those years of living with my cats.
What I need to figure out is what to do with all my tack and show clothes. I am not looking to make money on them, but I would dearly love to give them to people who could really use them.
I know it is against COTH policy to do so, but if anyone has an idea, I would love to hear it.
MY friened who has the one horse has tons of stuff, and was saying how she wished she could just dump it.
Mind you as much as I love her, she never took care of her tack. Sometimes I would stop by her house after being at the barn and swipe her tack and take it home and clean it.
Also some old nice eventing books and grooming books,
Anyone want?
Of course, you are tired. Itâs not just the physical thing you are going thru - itâs the mental thing. Sleep is a form of escape, I think. And you are not pathetic. You have every right to cry. Right now I cannot help but admire how brave and strong you are being. As far as things not tasting good - I get that. Just eat whatever you want, whenever you wants. I learned that whenever I thought of something to eat, I better eat it right then because if I waited I might lose interest and then it would taste terrible.
And just to make you laugh (even a little) I wish you could see my kitten Baler right now. He is 8 months old and tonight he has decided that running thru the house at top speed and doing berm shots off the windows is THE thing to do. He looks positively gleeful but at the same time very determined. Little idiotâŠhis Roman name is Fartus Termiticus Determinae. lol
Have a good night! Get what sleep you can - hugs!!!
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Tack and show clothes⊠is there a Pony Club near by? When I moved, I donated a ton of my horse stuff that I no longer needed to a local Pony Club.
You are NOT pathetic or whiney or any other negative adjective. You are a wonderful person who is dealing, at the moment, with an overflowing plate.
Take every day one day at a time. Work with your healthcare team. Do as you are doing and making sure affairs are in order. Enjoy life. Yes, work as you can but donât forget to also stop and smell the roses, enjoy the sunrises and sunsets, take time to see colors and smell the world around you. In of itself, those activities will help rejuvenate you!
{{Kim}}
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If there is a Riding Therapy Center near you they may take your gear as a donation. There must be lots of charities around who would be glad to either use it, or possibly auction/sell them for much needed funds.
There must be so many people in need, who would love and need some items that canât afford them, wish there was a way of pairing the two up.
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Wow Kim, I was not expecting to hear this bad news. It is heartening that some have reported good outcomes even with Stage IV, and I really hope your cancer can be treated. Try to keep some hope; there really are such new developments in treatments. Whatever you do will be the right thing; you are a smart and capable woman. We are here for you, in hope and in tears.
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Thought re tack and clothes: can you donate to a lesson program? Or maybe a therapeutic riding center?
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