The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

[CanteringCarrot]

@CanadianTrotter

Most people don’t know how to act or react to someone having cancer. The majority of people go skipping through life never thinking of their own mortality so when suddenly faced with a friend or loved one having cancer…they choke. They’re not sure what they can say without coming across as being flippant or uncaring and some are afraid of sounding like a broken record of everything you’ve already heard.

You might still get some replies after they’ve had some time to think about what they will or want to say.

This is true, I think. I believe that I react the way that I do toward someone having cancer is because I watched my other die from cancer. She was “only” 34. It became an “unclassified” type I believe, and just went wild. It just gave me a different perspective on many things.

Sannois, I am so sorry to here about your diagnosis. However, as you’ve seen in this thread, it’s not always a death sentence! Especially with medical advancements and technology available to us today. I have also heard of success coming out of various clinical trials if you pursue that route. It’s hard not to stress over it, but your doctor may very well develop a good and promising course of action. I really do wish you the best on this journey.

[Sannois]

Yeah, thanks guys, I figured that was the case. Funny, I am not that way at all.
But everyone deals with things differently.
IT was weird, because I had just gotten letters from both of them. LOL
Ah well. What Zu Zu Said… I have COTHERS!!!

[PeteyPie]

@Sannois

A little observation here. I emailed a few friends that I have known for years, We are in contact, though not frequent, long distance from each other.
Funny I got no reply. I think some folks just cannot deal with the C word, even if it is not their own.
The odd thing is, they both sent me birthday letters. LOL
Oh well. I reached out.

Don’t assume anything. It’s email. I just checked mine and realized I hadn’t checked it since December. Maybe your friends don’t check their email daily or even weekly.

[Callista17]

It is kind of strange, at least to me…My parents have had skin cancer, no biggie, it was cut out and done. My neighbor growing up had skin cancer, was in a wheelchair and bedridden from chemo and died at 32. He was tough, strong, lots of family support, and like my big bro. (He took me on my first “date”, when I was 7 and had my own cancer scares.)
It’s tough when you don’t know what to say.

[CanadianTrotter]

My friend and I have been best buds for 6 years now, we are very close. We don’t pamper or mollycoddle each other but we tend to nag each other when we put off health/medical things. She rags on me to go see the doctor about a sinus infection but when I let her know that the growth on my thyroid has doubled in size and I’m going for a biopsy…silence, she won’t talk about it. If she had asked, “Are you okay?” I would have been pleased and I was a little bit hurt that she didn’t. If this was happening to her I would be talking about it and asking her how she’s doing on a regular basis but I’ve had cancer and am 23 years clean.

My son has a difficult time dealing with my health so to try and lighten the mood I jokingly told him that if it does come back as incurable we won’t have to worry so much about de-cluttering before our big move to Nova Scotia:lol:…he wasn’t amused.

My neighbour recently had a cancerous growth removed from her bladder and came to me for empathy because her beautiful 34yr old daughter that loves her dearly couldn’t handle talking about it with her.

Like Callista said, it is hard when you don’t know what to say.

[Mosey_2003]

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis

[Faith]

I emailed you and got no response.

[JanM]

Don’t be surprised about not hearing from your emails to your friends, I know several people that send things from their phone, but virtually never check their regular email inbox.

[Sannois]

@Faith

I emailed you and got no response.

You DID??? What the! Okay well now who has egg on her face. I am so sorry M.

[Faith]

@Sannois

You DID??? What the! Okay well now who has egg on her face. I am so sorry M.

No problem. I guess it’s floating in cyberspace somewhere

[Sannois]

@Faith

No problem. I guess it’s floating in cyberspace somewhere

I just sent you an email.

[Sannois]

@JanM

Don’t be surprised about not hearing from your emails to your friends, I know several people that send things from their phone, but virtually never check their regular email inbox.

Well that may be true, but these two people I had just gotten long letters from on My Birthday on the 17th.
So I am pretty sure they are freaked out. Which I get.
One lost his wife 6 years ago inside of 3 months to a rare form of Adult late onset lukemia.

[JanM]

In that case, I bet they simply don’t know what to say to you, especially the one who lost his wife.

[tikihorse2]

Of course we’re here for you! We’re your COTH family and as someone already said, we might fight about the unimportant stuff like politics and such, but when one of us is in need, we pull together!

MAJOR JINGLES HUGS

[Sannois]

@tikihorse2

Of course we’re here for you! We’re your COTH family and as someone already said, we might fight about the unimportant stuff like politics and such, but when one of us is in need, we pull together!

MAJOR JINGLES HUGS

That is soooo true! And I am so greatful for it!

[Irish_Ei_s]

Hoping that fone call came in and you have info to actually work with now.

[Zu_Zu]

Sannois ~ looking in on you ~ hope you’re feeling better and being kind to yourself ~

Jingles of spring AO ~ ((hugs)) laced with spring sunshine ~

[aregard]

@CanadianTrotter

Most people don’t know how to act or react to someone having cancer. The majority of people go skipping through life never thinking of their own mortality so when suddenly faced with a friend or loved one having cancer…they choke.

I do think that’s really the case. It’s not that they suddenly cease to be friends. It’s really that they can’t come up with the language. 2 days later, they’re still thinking of how to respond, feeling inadequate, and now, LATE. So they say nothing.

COTHers, on the other hand, aren’t know for saying nothing. ;O

Jingles for you this morning!

[CaliforniaDreamer]

Sending you all the best wishes while you fight the good fight. We have your back for sure!

[skydy]

I swear my mind is going. Contrary to my previous post, I do have one family member in state. I’m visiting him now. He is 100+ miles away however and couldn’t come up for colonoscopy transportation.

How goes it Sannois?