The Daily Dumb

Here’s one I hear all day, every day:

“Get his nose in!”

No mention of driving with the leg, no mention of anything else. Just the nose. With women who can’t even sit the trot their horse gives. :face_vomiting:

So when my friend is riding my old gelding, I make it a point to loudly tell her all the time “Quit riding his head and use your legs!” The trainer fan girls don’t catch on.

Trainer fan girls have been told by trainer that I’m some sort of brutal abuser because I have contact with my horses faces when I ride. Whaaaaaateverrrrrr. :roll_eyes:

Then, some ranchers and roper friends were watching the Barcelona Olympics with me when Rembrandt was showing.
I was mesmerized, what an extraordinary performance, when one of them said, “is she ever going to give him his head, he is so tense and not going anywhere!” :crazy_face:

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One of the fan girl ladies believes her horse reaches under the fence in turnout to get grass because she’s starving.

The mare is obese - like, founder obese.

It’s a moot point though - her horse got a 1" long scratch on her face (no blood, just hair missing), and the woman was so upset she no longer allows her mare to be turned out.

sigh

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Sadly, it will come as no surprise that they’ve managed to kill two horses in their care–one lost to colic and another to founder :frowning: Not even THEIR horses, too…they were boarding. Gahhhhh.

:rofl: :joy: :smirk:
Yeah, me too!

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Not at all funny, but a long time ago we had neighbors who had horses. They were the typical ‘live in the country, need horses, don’t know a thing about them’ types.

When they were evicted, the horses had to be sold. The older ones were sold quickly. The yearling filly, who was barely even halter-broke was finally sold, but the neighbors had to deliver. Dad asked them how they planned to load her (we had tons of experience with this, and could have led her to our place and run her through our chute as well, into a stock trailer). But instead, the response was:

“Oh, we’ll put a rope on her, run it through the front of the trailer, tie it to the bumper of the truck, and pull her in that way.”

:open_mouth: :astonished: :astonished: :astonished:

Oh wow. That poor thing.

Yeah. I don’t know what they ended up doing. I do know that she was gone at some point. I hope they didn’t try that - all I could envision was them either dragging her under the trailer and breaking her legs, or her flipping over and breaking her neck. Dad offered to help, but they wouldn’t take him up on the offer.

There is an historic church with an old cemetery beside our property. I noticed a couple ladies standing in the cemetery looking at our pasture when I went out to catch one of the horses. One of the ladies called out to me, “why doesn’t that one get any pajamas?” She was pointing at our retired gelding who grows the coat of a yak (the others are in work, so clipped and blanketed).

I did manage to keep a straight face and explain why poor Sultan was pajamaless. :rofl:

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Sounds legit. :scream:

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Wait, what? Blankets are not called pajamas, housecoats, smoking jackets, raincoats, hoodies, bathrobes, snowuits, frocks, jackets, etc? Who knew?

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My significant other was watching a video with horses, goats, cows, and dogs in a barn, most of which had blankets on and asked about the “pony jackets.” He’s lived in CA his whole life and had no idea a horse might need a blanket.

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:scream: :scream: :scream:

Reminds me of my sister’s first horse. The mare belonged to one of her friend’s family, was born on their property to be their son’s horse, but the son broke his back so the mare was left untouched for 6 years. Then my sister offered to buy her, but they insisted on sending the mare to a trainer before selling her. They tried to push her into the trailer with a tractor and a makeshift “chute”. The mare jumped out of the chute. I don’t know how they finally managed to get her on the trailer, but the mare was traumatized after that and it took us months to get her near a trailer again. Some people… :angry:

Here’s a wtf but for real. Lamb and goat active wear is called a tube.

Goat tube.

Lamb tube.

I about fell on the floor laughing when I saw one for the first time at TSC.

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I didn’t know that, here is a link:

https://www.sullivansupply.com/product/performance-spandex-goat-tube/

They even come in psychedelic colors. :stuck_out_tongue:

Lol. Years ago my pony needed a middle of
The night trailer ride to the horsepital. I stayed home with my infant daughter. My very non horsey spouse delivered said pony and filled out the intake form. Under sex he wrote boy. And under color… “brown with black legs” :laughing:. He also always referred to blankets as jackets.

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At least ‘pajamas’ seemed like a positive comment - who doesn’t like to curl up in their cozy pjs at the end of the day?! :upside_down_face:

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Well, at least he didn’t write yes under sex. Poor guy, bless his heart (no really not the southern insult) for doing that for you. And thanks for good laugh.

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:laughing:
And now for a slightly racy joke a trainer friend told:
Guy goes to see a mare for sale. He is a good horseman, but has a speech defect, cannot pronounce “R” (think: Kripke on Big Bang)

Seller brings the mare out to the arena, stands her up, facing Buyer, then facing away.

Buyer says: “Let me see her twot”

Seller looks confused, but pulls mare’s tail to one side.

Buyer: “No! I said let me see her twot down the long side!”

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