The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

[Merry]

The “Question for Merry” thread is being laid to rest. Rose petals have been scattered upon the coffin. The bagpiper has played “Danny Boy”. By now the preacher is half-schnockered on cheap wine (a vin rose that came in a box but was deftly poured into a “crystal” decanter from Walmart before the guests arrived). There’s food on the table and we’re all turned out in our best mourning regalia. (It is California, after all. Must have bleached teeth, sunglasses, and a Gucci scarf about one’s head). Want to join in?

Who knows, the wake may last a while.

And you Canadians. HUH! How long can you tell bad jokes and muse about the upcoming spring thaw? The Calif. clique tosses down a black Neiman-Marcus kidskin glove. Sniff Just see if you can make it to 30+ pages!

[wtywmn4]

Corene, for crying out loud, let the man go! I know he’s cute and hmmm look at that bode. But we have work to do! Enough, we’re being sabatoged by Canooks!! Down to 3 stars, how degrading.
Okay, who broke the blender? It was brand spanking new. Road trip to Target, send Rusty. The only person with some semblence of order. Don’t run any lights either. Let’s put our heads together,UGH oh my that glove has a rank smell. Must be all the motor oil and kerosene. Phew, a little cod oozing in. Beginning to smell like Merry’s sweater.
Has anyone tried Bob at Indio? Please for Merry’s sake let’s get that out of the way. You ate all the dip? No crab puffs, ice scupture demolished, dip gone, what are we coming too?

[AAJumper]

The crowd of nylon halter users anonymous chants in unison “Hi Michelle”…

In fact, our whole barn has matching nylon halters in the barn colors (black w/burgundy overlay), and each is monogrammed w/the horse’s name. But we don’t use them for turnouts…they are taken off for that. Our crossties are actually held with a piece of baling string so that if a horse pulls hard, it breaks. I know this because my old horse was a confirmed cross-tie breaker since way back when. He had a few good strolls around the property, and especially enjoyed being chased. So we stopped chasing him when he got loose (the property is fully fenced) and he lost his enthusiasm for that game.

But about that weather…UGH! It’s supposed to rain three days straight, even in Indio!!! At least I got to jump Cypress today over several jumps in a row…she was a wild thing! If she doesn’t mellow a little by Thursday, the rails will be flyin’!!!

AAJumper joins Merry in the mourning of our beautiful So.CA sunny weather. Will this onslaught of rain ever end???

[rusty]

They are mighty delicious cookies.

[weeble]

I can only go as high as a B+…you see, I never would have called you “Darling Heidi”. Not because you aren’t, but I don’t even call my husband “darling”. It was, however, a superb effort.

[wtywmn4]

Koi Boy, our own special hunter/jumper/possible polo pony! Black, love the color, every ribbon looks good with a black drop. And in those mini hearses, which will tactfully be left out, there will of course be the proverbial curb chain bracelets!! A lovely tack room in black, with carnations abounding, couchs and chairs for the ready. Elizabeth, you will have to do the honors in the under saddle classes. You’re our entertainment attorney, we have to show you off. A/A will do the jumpers, Beezer, Merry the regulars, coreene, dear leave the man alone, good grief, we’re talking showing here.
Wty dreamily looks off, she can hear it all now "Koi Boy, owned by Funeral Thread’s Farm 5M Corporation.

[MO1]

Do you suffer from MPD?

Merry, I dunno but I think this wake need’s a band!! Have any lined up?

[Merry]

rusty, you mean that place on the corner? That wasn’t a church! It was the city library.

[AAJumper]

Disgusted with the horrid weather, and inspired by Jimmy Buffet, AAJumper stands in Merry’s truckbed and begins to sing off-key:

Boat drinks.
Waitress I need two more boat drinks.
Then I’m headin’ south 'fore my dream shrinks.
I gotta go where it’s warm.

Can we move the post burial gathering to somewhere tropical…say, Cabo San Lucas??? Or Mazatlan?

Rusty rushes over to the truck to hand AAJumper a strawberry margarita, hoping to distract her from belting out yet another song… this time Margaritaville…

[elizabeth]

Thanks, weeble. I feel much better now. Everyone needs a little love.

Got that, Merry and Beezer? Everyone needs a little love. So when I’m camping down by the Koi pond, and it gets a little cold, you’ll come down and bring me a blanket and stuff . . . right?

[SuaveReno]

Says SuaveReno to Coreene. I will be rolling in in the am, although I need to get an exact time for sure (fer sure, fur sure)

Rusty! Quick more margaritas I’ve got some Pedrone

[wtywmn4]

Oh, the stench! Wty grabs her nose, squeezing it hard, imagining all those little graves. Poor elizabeth, okay, well, ringside it will be. We need our cheering squad active, our cult… errr corporation needs guidance. And WHO is trying to kick our proverbial butts? Not those iced over Canadians I hope. Coreene, you can’t fool us, we recognise those doe eyes for what they really mean! Merry, now the shoot will take place on the beach, so put the sparkly dress away. A/A how are you feeling dear? You’re looking, ah so much better. Some of the bandages have come loose. Lets see if we can’t tie them up. rusty, koolaid margaritas, hmm there might be a business in all that. Nah, some college kid, somewhere, probably has already tried that. Wty’s fingers are so tired from writing the script for a Lifetime movie. Should have brought that cute little laptop! Where is weeble when you need her? Beezer, are we syndicating our QVC show?

VACATION? Oh Merry, aren’t we on one now? We only need the ocean, and cyrstal blue sky to complete the picture.

[MO1]

Suave, actually he is/ was a very famous juggler!! Still living in Vegas from what I understand. What else did the article say? Inquireing (sp?) minds want to know (well, atleast mine does)! Do tell!!

[rusty]

Yes another round of Chalupas, we might as well hang out in the EL TOrito. At least it isn’t raining inside the restraunt.

[Tin]

Heidi weren’t you suppose to return Hasslehoff last week? You’ve been hiding him in your closet haven’t you? tsk tsk tsk No wonder my mountie hasn’t come home.

I appologize to all the CA’s, but we Canadians can’t be responsible for heidi’s actions we even have a legal document supporting that

[elizabeth]

[I]elizabeth, wearing a full sweat suit to hide the 10 pounds gained while studying for the bar, spreads out in the sand next to AAJumper.

<<shoot, she thinks. did i leave my portable fax machine in the car? oh well. . . pass the margaritas.>>[/I]

[Beezer]

I see I shall have to take you under my wing. Either that, or severely limit the time you spend with Merry. Why, you ask? Because one must never, EVER say that a wine tastes like it came out of a box … saying so would be admitting that you KNOW what wine in a box tastes like. EEEWWWWW!

wtywmn4: I am forced to do these things to save my family from certain shame and humiliation. I am, after all, the only one of us who knows the difference between a cabernet and a cabaret, between pinot noir and peanut butter. I MUST save them from themselves!!

As for the death of the thread … well, it was doomed from the start. I mean, really … “Question for Merry” indeed. Now, if it had been “Question for Beezer” we would never have arrived at this sad juncture.

[Beezer]

Says Beezer groggily, for the effects of the wake are beginning to show. “One of my favorite places ever since the ‘real’ Beezer pulled down the cook shack trying to – and succeeding in – snagging a donut while the cyber-Beezer’s back was turned…”

It was also the scene of Beezer’s (that would be cyber-Beezer’s) first teenage-hormone-induced crush. On Mike Kennedy. Anyone remember him?? And if you do and he looks anything like he used to … HANDS OFF!

[Beezer]

Heaven … I’m in heaven!

Now THAT, ladies, is a man who wears a uniform.

[wtywmn4]

Ah, the sweet sound of the 1 inch curb, gently tingling in our ears. Ummmmmmmm, said with all the energy the cult can muster… Merry, where have you been? And YES weeble, the Canadians can keep yea ole Hassel…His Hoff has ridden off!