The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

Yes, he’s OUR mascot, but the entire state of California? Hmm… I’d have to say the correct answer is the Taco Bell dog. I mean, what with our state being usurped from the indigenous Hispanics (that whole Treaty of Guadalupe Hildago would never stand up in court today, right elizabeth?), it only seems fitting that some shred of their culture should come back to poison us with fat and beef by-products.

“Gold-dipped curb chain bracelets, eh? Sounds like something we could ‘do’. Heck, there’s enough gold in Beezer’s jewelry armoire to melt down enough gold to coat an entire tack store of curb chains!” Merry reveals with delight.

Maui Jim’s wrapped around wty’s head, she teases rusty. How bout a frosty gatorade maragrita? Hmmm, you could get two birds with one stone on that puppy. Boy, the sun feels sooooo good. A little tan line, au naturale. Elizabeth could you pass the lotion please. Promise not to get any sand in it. Listening to the surf, all things just drift away. Except for coreene’s loud giggles from behind the life guard stand! Coreene, we need some munchies, please. Don’t distract them all. Mr Beezer’s mother with a Koi pond in her room, interesting picture. One can just see her sipping her morning coffee, feeding the koi. Ringing a little bell for breakfast.

After too many Rusty margaritas and a vintage bottle of Annie Green Springs, "Is that a good thing or a bad…I mean to turn the horse into a jumper…or does that imply he doesn’t understand hunters…or…as she drifts dreamily into a achol induced haze…

wtymn4 have you found the snow board yet? It sounds like it is going to be loads of fun.

Oh, gee, you’re resurrecting my modeling career so I can slather poopy mud on my face? So, like, I’m splattered in mud and it’s not because I was standing too close to the rail at the Santa Barbara National? Wow, I don’t know how to thank you for that assignment.

Merry realizes that many of the regular participants have tootled off to Indio. She finishes up a chicken taco and, while munching, wonders how AAJumper will do in her jumper classes in the mud…

The two standards of course resembling the Muck Mud containers with out logo (what logo?) strategically placed. A lovely mud brown color don’t you think? That way it could travel from show to show spreading the word, er, muck. And it wouldn’t even matter if it was raining or gloppy, our jump would always look clean, or at least as clean as it gets.

QVC camera zooms in…
Voice-over from marginally attractive hostess (just missed being a weather girl for an Omaha station): “Today, direct from California, we’re offering a limited edition shipment of your choice… that’s right, YOUR CHOICE, of this stunning curb chain bracelet in either 14K yellow gold or stunning sterling silver. These are fabulous! No one else on your block will have them! They’re handcrafted by the 5M Cultists, a small, non-profit group.”

(Camera view now opens to shot of model wearing both bracelets on one wrist)

“Oh,” the hostess gushes, “You can just see the craftsmanship evident in these bracelets! Order yours early. We can ship overnight, except…” (there’s an uneasy pause), “except to Canada. I’m sorry, but our Canadian viewers are not allowed to purchase these bracelets.”

(There’s a hushed mumbling overheard as the hostess confers with the director: “Arlie, are you sure it says that Canadians cannot order the bracelets? What’s up with that?”)

Merry passes around the plastic silverware. She dishes out what looks like tuna salad on wheat bread, but Beezer looks askance at it.

“Is this tuna… or is it koi?” Beezer inquires.

“Hey, eat it and shut up,” Merry snaps. “You oughta be happy that we’re getting our arena back. Me…” Merry says bitterly, “I had to fork out thousands for those darn decorative koi. Now that their time on this earth is over, they can be useful as well as ornamental. Now, everyone, eat up! No one had better taste that take-out stuff unless they’re washing it down with my sandwiches!”

… Fortunately, while caught up in her tirade, Merry doesn’t notice that rusty has handed off her koi-salad sandwich to the crazed Labrador, who drops his plastic knife and scarfs down the sandwich…

Wow!!! Yes, yes. He’s very attractive. And his CV is fabulous! Heidi-ho, you have a wonderful sounding friend. (Can I start referring to him now as “my boyfriend”? I could casually drop his name into conversations during the breaks in the bar exam: “Yes, well, my boyfriend, who, in layman’s terms, is in charge of Casper the Friendly Ghost, is a very famous CEO. . . .”)

Invite him to the wake - I look stunning in black!

VineyRidge makes herself a shot of Wild Turkey 101 mixed with Southern Comfort, sneaks in the back door of the wake and begins to eulogize the dear departed “Question to Merry” Thread…

Although I never participated in the Thread’s life, just knowing it was there made so many gloomy winter days bright. I’d log into the BB, and straightaway check on the Thread’s wellbeing. It was a real pleasure to vicariously participate as strangers became friends, family members squabbled, and the age old conundrums of rain, PMS and men were addressed with civility and humor. The good fellowship exhibited made my total ignorance of all things Californian of little consequence.

The change in format was a terrible blow, as one could get trapped on the interior pages of the thread with no way back to the index from the top of an inadvertently reopened page.

The new format, though, didn’t seem to deter the thread and its adherents. Onward, ever onward, in the spirit of comradeship, the California clique became a corporate body, with its own life, dishing gossip, finding connections, playing the old Southern Game “Who do you know?”.

What made the thread special was its unfailing good humor. Never once was the Thread’s life threatened by non-adherence to COTH rules. Never once was the Thread mangled by administrative intervention. Unlike some upstart threads, the Merry Thread never resorted to off subject jokes and riddles to fuel its existence. It grew organically because it NEEDED to grow.

And so, from a sad lurker, I wish the thread “Godspeed.”

And hope that the California Clique will start another, ASAP.

Weeping gently, VineyRidge slinks out the back way and leaves the clique to its sad duty.

Based on my engineering calculations, the predominantly CA clique threads seem to grow in proportion to the amount of rainfall! Thus, the appearance of that odd yellow object in the sky = CA clique threads falling to page 2.

But hey, what better way to celebrate the sunshine than mud skiing? It’s warm out and time to trade in the rain gear for a bathing suit!

AAJumper hops off the snowboard after skiing 3 laps around the koi pond. Covered in mud and pieces of Koi, she exclaims “come on in, the water’s fine!!!” She then pulls out the beach chair, dons the Hobie sunglasses, and plops down.

Toss me a Corona, wytwmn4, please! Oh, okay, I guess I’ll have to do with Merry’s boxed wine. It doesn’t go well with these chips and salsa though. What??? The thread still hasn’t been buried? I was wondering what that stench was!!!

Just then, AAJumper hears the thundering of dog paws coming towards her. She glances behind her beach chair just in time to see a giant black lab thundering towards her with a knife…

<<ugh. . . grunt. . . push. . .>>

There we go. You are a heavy one! You almost fell right off the first page.

Let’s see who is around to feed you, Wake Thread. . . .

The traditional water jump should absolutely be stocked with koi. Those rebellious koi refusing to adorn said jump, or those cooperating but meeting an unfortunate end by a stop at (in) the water could be served to the patrons of the sponsor tent as sushi. Thus demonstrating to the IRS the fiscal responsibility of our cult. Darn, sorry, I keep forgetting…non-profit organization.

All together now, curb chains ready? Jingle!

This thread is falling to page two. AGh!!!
Should we add the RIP section of the what ever happpened too thread here?

“I need my arena! To heck with the dang goldfish! I cannot take the hassle of hauling my horses around town to ride in other people’s arenas any longer!”

Merry stares at her traitorous comrades. “Put down those protest signs! I’ll give you another cause… how about Save the Amateur Adult Jumper Rider?”

A good agnostic thread would have donated its body to science…

Any truth to the rumor that the thread recently married an amply-bosomed, intellectually-challenged young woman who will now stand to inherent the thread’s entire estate?

(said with the sarcasm and irreverance of a born-and-raised East Coaster.)undefined

What the heck is Bob McDonald doing living in bleepin’ Idaho, anyway?

As for the lack of food, Merry stares wistfully out the kitchen window and spies the tan, fluffy pygmy goat that has served as the orphan filly’s companion for a year now… Hmmm. The filly doesn’t really need a companion any longer… That goat is looking pretty ‘ripe on the vine’…

Beezer realizes that Merry is toying with the idea of goat shiskabobs as she traces the blade of the chef’s knife in her hand…

ohhh, honor guards.

i guess smacking my lips is inappropriate behavior for someone soon to be admitted to the bar. . . .

Umm Merry, did I not share with you my esteemed last name?

It’s true, my name is Heidi Infopop; and should you gals in the CA clique entertain any delusional notions of victory and supremacy, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that technology ain’t on your side.

“Hmmmm,” Merry muses, “it sounds like AAJumper may be our first subject… I mean ‘volunteer’… for our exorcism rites! Perhaps you’re actually channeling some other amateur rider? Could someone in your riding past have put a hex on you? You know, some de-hexing involves whacking off a chicken’s head. But I happen to have had pet chickens once, so I can’t condone that. What about koi? We could gut a giant goldfish over your head before your next show!”