The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

[I]ahhhhh, wty, I share your vision. lovely. just lovely.

And the little bell in Mr. Beezer’s Mother’s room is a nice touch. It will keep Beezer and Mr. Beezer’s Mother in constant contact. <<tinkle, tinkle. Beezer, i need some orange juice>>[/I]

Is that my cell phone ringing? Jerry Springer was going to call me about scheduling Rocky to juggle knives on his show. Then Jerry got word about Coreene and the life guards. Or the parking valets. Or the QVC producer. I can’t remember. . . .

I would guess, Suave, my old chum, old pal, that Edgar does mostly jumpers. But then, that might be a good thing for your Lexi mare, although if I could only come up with the money I’d buy her myself. Hmmmm… wonder what the life insurance policy was on the Merry Thread?

As Merry walks, er, staggers over to make one last pass at the artichoke dip, she waves to the band to begin one more rendition of “Suavecito” in honor of her bestest new-found bud, Suave Reno. And then she stands atop the table (stepping into the tray of crab puffs, unfortunately) and makes this announcement:

"Tomorrow morning, I shall make a phone call to Hailey, Idaho, and attempt to gain the answer to dear coreene’s apocalyptic question:
“WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KIMMIE MC DONALD AND DOES SHE STILL RIDE?”

Mud’s involved…I’m there. A sad commentary on me, isn’t it? My own personal pasture supply should be enough to contribute to the mud-packed beauty of at least, oh, thosusands of California girls or, I don’t know, ten Canadians.

It’s J.J. Smith. says SuaveReno after 4 cups of coffee and after reading the “merry thread” frot he 2nd time in cased she missed something the first.

HORSES 1968 was my source for the photo.

Welcome Rexford to our overtly happ CA clique

I’d enjoy a whatever happened to…thread too
hmmm maybe we could do it here

[I]elizabeth surreptitiously takes rocky’s knife. Rocky looks up, shocked. elizabeth can tell he is thinking “SHOOT!!”

she jangles her curb chain bracelet mockingly and mouths “Loser!” Rocky growls a low growl, and elizabeth waves the plastic knife at him. Knowing he has lost this battle, Rocky returns to his Koi-salad sandwich.[/I]

I think you’re gonna have to post a picture of yourself so that the playing ground is even, so to speak.

“AAJumper, stop skiing and climb in my truck. Tell wymmn to stop already with the margaritas. We’ve got to make it to the cemetary and say some final words.”

AAJumper, after a pulling an all-nighter building the ark, loads up and heads to Indio. She wonders if the wake will still be in progress when she returns on Sunday…

Now what great sponsor doesn’t have a Polo shirt? Emblazoned on the left side, a leaping Koi. Done in lovely muck brown. Of course that then leads to other lovelies, baseball caps, travel size Mud Masque satchels…on & on.

Breathlessly, she wages on. Curbs jingling, now what airports should we haunt? Or would it be better to stand outside of a Taco Bell?

As the others join Beezer in Olympic shopping, Coreene and SuaveReno come up with an idea for the ultimate horse show sponsored by (u guessed it Marvelous Merry’s Metabolic Mystic Mud Masks

Wanting to offer the riders the ultimate in competition and sport she offers the following classes: This is only a partial list

  1. Hack & Yack Division consisting of:
    a. Hack & Snack U/S (not under saddle but Upset Stomach)
    b. Hack & Pack over fences (to be shown over a course of 8 fences approximately 3’ in height with samonite 24" pullman in tow. To be judged on performance and suitability of bagage. Extreme weight of suitcase to be penalized)
    c. Hack & Black undersaddle to be shown at the walk, trot and canter in a basic black cocktail dress (pearls optional)

  2. Jumpers, Face-Plant and Out. (Jumps optional) Rider to be judged on originality, technical skills and creativity.

  3. Hunter Breeding Division. Horse to be judged on originality, technical skills and creativity (garter belts and nylons will be penalized)

SuaveReno is now passing out (to be judged on technical skills, creativity and originality

Given the discussion about some of the fluffy BB topics, what do you say we close/bury our funeral thread? I mean, this was supposed to be a funeral for the original thread.

We can never catch the Canadians. I concede to them. But being down here in the hospitable climate of California, I, quite frankly, have other things to do now that the springtime has arrived: I can ride, ride, ride, plant flowers, wear shorts and get a tan on my skinny legs, and stroll along the boardwalk at the beach. Perhaps I have been shamed into this, but I do not want to be accused of prolonging the inevitable demise of our “fluffy” thread and using up BB space.

And so, I bid, “adieu.”

“Alas, my funeral thread… and my koi… I knew them well,” Merry says tearfully, and silently walks to her emerald green, shiny pickup, and drives away into the 80 degree sunshine. Is she going to tear up the turf at the local cemetary? Is she going to the nearest H.Salt for some memorial fishsticks? Is she going to rear-end the first car she sees in downtown L.A. with a Canadian license plate? Who knows…

Justalurker, must you give away all of our fashion secrets.

I am back with more Margarita Fixins! What is this pink.com? You mean I didn’t have to sober up to drive to the liquor store. The Margaritas could hve been delivered. Oh well there are some fresh Margaritas, girls we might have to switch to another beverage for a little while, the blender appears to be over heating.

Elizabeth we will definately have the priest say a few prayers for you. I am trying to find out who the Patron Saint of the CA Bar examine is. So we can also say prayers to him/her.
Good luck with your teat we hope to heart from you soon.

Ha-whoopee! Should we pull the truck over and celebrate?

The hearse approaches the graveside. Pam parks the vehicle and the pallbearers gather at the back of the long white hearse.

Does anyone want to say any final parting words? Make it snappy, because I’m headed to the annual tent sale at Mary’s Tack in Del Mar at the crack of dawn!

Doesn’t it figure that the darn Canadians would mess things up? I mean, what do they know about people who are important who are trying to get things done who do not have time to wait around for “infopop”? Listen, heidi, we down here in the U.S. try to be productive, eh. So let’s keep the infopop antics to a minimum, o.k. eh? I’m asking a favour, I know. (And look, I spelling it the Canadian way to appease you!)

O.k., back to the more important stuff:
I need to know more about this Fleet Apple business before I can advise on the ten commandments. (In legalese, they would be our by-laws.)

Oh, Merry and Beezer, every cult needs to sacrifice stuff to be legit. I’m thinking your ruminating goat is about ripe. I mean, what value does she REALLY add to the ranch, with all the sitting around and ruminating that she does?

Here is where the fun begins: sacrificial rituals!

AAJumper, I refuse to believe that you are at fault for any of this. Tipping your body, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Merry’s explanation is MUCH more likely.

Thus, we must summon the gun-toting lab (remember that I took his knife!), who will sacrifice a Koi for you. Then you and Cypress shall be purged of the evil karma and returned to your former glory.

Oh, Merry, I saw an ad for a house in Corona del Mar that had a Koi pond. And, because of you and your obsession with mentioning your Koi in every single conversation, I knew what Koi were!!

Coreene, horrified at knocking things over AGAIN, immediately swears off blonde men as bad luck, except for David Lee Roth, and demurely heads for the producer, Suave Enrico, who bears a striking resemblance to Antonio Banderas…

“Hola, Suave Enrico,” she purrs. “Donde esta los banos?”

“Over there, lady,” says Suave Enrico.

She races off, horrified, and dimly grasps through her drunken stupor that she has asked where the bathroom was…

Until we meet again. I will keep the blenders in a safe place and excercise them as needed.

I’ll take Colonel Mustard in the billards room with a wrench…

Geeze elisabeth, you think you could be a little nicer to Bumpkin?

Sorry, but your last comment was pretty nasty, teasing or no teasing - give it a rest will you?

I saw that thread you were referring to, and it was just a misunderstanding - no need to dredge it up again. There are so many people here that not everyone has the same sense of humour as everyone else. For instance, if you’re “joking” again here - I obviously am not on the same wave length because I don’t see it.