He professed to love the horses at ISF so much, but knew so little about them. His “pen name” for Roemer is one example.
His suggestion that MA started breeding Friesians to cross with and bulk up her WBs is another. 🤦
5 Likes
Seriously. Hard to believe that he thinks he is clever enough to fool anyone.
9 Likes
He must be desperate to sell another copy of that silly book.
His latest faux review tries to make it sound like it’s full of intrigue and nefarious characters. If he’s going to mislead potential readers into thinking the book is something it is not, he could’ve done much better:
Unbeknownst to Peronace, a loosely organized group of psychologically unhinged madwomen had conspired to dethrone the aspiring Grand Maestro, creating a covert facebook site where they exchanged their dastardly plans like swapping recipes for horse treats. After hacking his way into this crazy cabal, Peronace realized these bathrobe-clad femme fatales had seduced several USDF officials with guacamole, flavored popcorns (the kind that comes in the big circular tin) and a gift membership to Wine of the Month. As a result, this equestrian version of QAnon succeeded in tanking Peronace’s test scores at subsequent competitions and undermining his attempts to nurture a career as an itinerant clinician. With the United States Dressage Federation tacitly supporting this subversion of Peronace’s talents, his ascent to the pinnacle of dressage in America was forever thwarted.
There. I fixed it. 
44 Likes
Is there anything out there to indicate that he is doing anything other than mower dressage lately?
3 Likes
That is inspired (and effing hilarious!), “itinerant clinician”, LMAO!!! 
Your writing talents are prodigious; probably wasted on the COTH BB, but MUCH appreciated by all of us!!, so thank you!
8 Likes
He and the Kanareks should team up to fight the dressage cabals. As long as they don’t talk politics…
13 Likes
He certainly shares with LK the concept of arrested development.
17 Likes
If only both shared actually being arrested now.
23 Likes
Oh, thank you. I’m embarrassed.
But much like El Maestro, I’ll accept any praise. 
(I was a well paid writer for many years, but retired from that now. I guess every now and then I unleash my creative reserves on COTH).
14 Likes
Nope. Apparently that’s all because people like us have stopped him from riding.
Come on, surely someone here has a horse he can ride. Demonstrate your charitable character and good will! Offer the poor man a horse he can ride!
3 Likes
You are so very worthy of the above accolades!! 
I always enjoy your contributions and posts, but in this case you really outdid yourself - clever and witty, pretty much the opposite of the Maestro. If he were capable of recognizing excellence writing skills he would be jealous - but yeah, No.
4 Likes
Well, they have them outside some stores – you just need to insert a quarter.
14 Likes
and now I need the Brain Bleach, from the mental image of The Maestro, in all his chubby, hirsute, nekkid glory. 
Horseback 
2 Likes
& I nominate you to be our Shaman 
(Drat! No buffalo horns emoji)
8 Likes
Hey, at least I’m from the same state. (Is that a good thing? 
)
Instead of buffalo horns, maybe I could stick a pair of dressage whips on top of my head.
8 Likes
Oooh!
Remember the Colbert Foam Fingers for the Olympics? 
8 Likes
I would love to have seen him on my old eventing pony.
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If there’s anybody here who hasn’t written a review, please jump over and do that. I’d hate to see the percentages so skewed by one repetitive reviewer/author patting himself on the back.
10 Likes
I’m hung up on “mower dressage”. Seriously - figures, extensions, collections… Maybe he’s onto something? 
