The mental health of horse people (or lack of)

We can veer here from the clinically diagnosable, i.e. my schizophrenic sister, who would have been helped immeasurably by exposure to horses in her youth, to the profesionally ‘idiosyncratic’, my former boss who was a passive-aggressive dink extraordinaire, who’d fart loudly in meetings with Important Industry Folk as a measurement of his power.

My point is, there are dysfunctional people in every sport, every occupation, perhaps in every family.

Hey, the majority of equestrians make their living doing something else and the horses are for “fun”. Lets turn the question around and ask what “non horse careers” do dysfunctional horse people have in common??

It seems to me a lot of dysfunction is rooted in ones environment and the choices one makes to change the environment- are you a victim or a fighter.
??? That is not to be confused with a person who couldn’t hit the floor with their hat or a person who is TRUELY ecentric!!

Dr. Horsefeathers post summed it up well, IMHO.

Most serious hobbists, horsey and non-horsey, are usually a little left of center. In fact, has anyone met or know anyone else who is completely non-dysfunctional? I sure don’t. The horsey group as a whole attracts lots of folks from various socio-economical levels and out of that group of individuals I believe it’s the trainers that are a little kooky. Anyone with barely an education can hang out a shingle and advertise themselves as a trainer (unfortunately).

However, the screwiest bunch of folks I ever ran across was the dog show group. If you’ve seen “Best in Show” the characters were so typical of the folks that did the dog show circuit. Really, really weird. They make the horsey bunch look normal.

I just saw Best in Show last night It was so good! Hilarious! I loved the yuppie couple and they’re crazy escapades. I couldn’t help but think some of those people (in the movie) were similar to horse people - like the ultra pampering of their pets and the paranoia/hysteria that their animal is a little “off”.

I’ve had a couple of parties where I foolishly mixed horse people with ‘civilians’. Needless to say, I spent those evenings feeling like I was straddling the Maginot Line - horse people in my kitchen, yapping away about a recent show, hoarding the food; civilians in the living room talking politics, movies, children, and affaires des coeurs. The only horsey person who made the attempt to mix was our trainer. This is a man, though, who actually ventures outside the horse world for his amusement.

It’s very easy to become consumed by the horse world and the entirety of one’s life to be circumscribed by horses and similarly afflicted horse folk. I can assert that same observation, though, for computer geeks, investment bankers (though none from this BB ), entertainment folk, stay-at-home-mothers, etc., etc.

I don’t know if ‘sanity’ can be summarized as such but I do think a healthy outlook is greatly assisted by a balanced approach.

You hit the nail on the head with this,
“It’s very easy to become consumed by the horse world and the entirety of one’s life to be circumscribed by horses and similarly afflicted horse folk. I can assert that same observation, though, for computer geeks, investment bankers (though none from this BB ), entertainment folk, stay-at-home-mothers, etc., etc.”
When I stand back for a moment and look at my life (I’m a 23 yr. old artschool graduate doing graphic design and just bought my first horse this past fall-I’ve ridden since I was little) I think…what the hell am I doing?? and where the hell am I going?? It is so easy to be caught up in anything! I think and some sports, jobs, hobbies, what have you, require a numerous amount of dedication and time in order to make them worthwhile. I can’t just do sketches for 10 minutes and say, “Oh joy! I feel so fullfilled!”…just like I can’t ride for 10 minutes and go home and say “wow, we got so much accomplished today” I think that anything that you really want to follow through on and be good at, you need to put a lot into it. Of course, there is the fine line between dedication and obsession…the thing is, I’ll be the first to admit…I’m not sure I know where that fine line is.

When I started in horses, I was very, very, shy … I almost never talked. Over time, successes that I have achieved with my horses has given me self confidence that goes with me when I leave the barn. It has helped all aspects of my life.

And, I don’t socialize with alot of non-horse people because they just don’t get it !

So call me dysfunctional ! I don’t care !

Horses have taught me so much about life.
They’ve taught me patience and goals and
how to exercise patience to reach those
goals.

I think having horses has made me a
better person.I have a tendency to burn a
little too much between my ears. When I
get off my horse I feel so happy and at
peace with myself.I just love
horses…they make me whole.

Dr.Horsefeathers horses must be the same
marvelous antidote to life and work for
you too!

But a psych major. Anyway, I think maybe we develop the personality disorders in this sport as a defense. Mostly I think the problems come out of lack of confidence and lack of communication. This of course is just an idea, but it seems to me, personally, that all the issues I’ve had in the horse-world dealt with me having one idea and the other party thinking something completely different, which resulted in each of us thinking the other was completely dysfunctional. I’m not sure anyone can follow what I’m trying to say, but hopefully you all get the idea!

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>my former boss who was a passive-aggressive dink extraordinaire, who’d fart loudly in meetings with Important Industry Folk as a measurement of his power <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Emily proud member of the junior clique!

While I agree that many of us in the mental health field enter it for our own self-cure reasons (read, yes we start out pretty nutty!) As one matures, hopefully, one is able to give up on those dysfunctional reasons to help people. Then the challenge becomes, do I really want to stay in this very stressful, depressing line of work when I have solved my own challenges and don’t “need” to?
I began to feel like an emotional prostitute, renting out my very intimate empathy and mental skills and that was icky.
But then I realized that, hey, there were other reasons I went into this. Like, I enjoy hearing other people’s stories, and I know life is bearable, and hope is something I can point out to people. Did I really want to re-train in another field when this one pays well enough to keep my horses!
Well, in this journey, I did re-train, as a coach/trainer- I have all the paper to prove it. But guess what- I actually like psychiatry better. At least there we acknowledge that we are working on our psychic problems. Coaches are often called to work on their student’s emotional issues without acutally being allowed to come out and say “the reason your horse is tense is because you are so uptight!”
Blessings on all, dysfunctional as we are, keep in mind what is really important in life and the other stuff will sort out.
And the other maxim is, a problem shared is a problem halved, a pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled.

and some others - I don’t see more “dysfunctional” people in horses than anywhere else.

Add to the stress of the A circuit (which, thankfully, I’m not on) - breeders. A wild cross between “Best in Show” and A circuit loonies.

BUT, joking aside, I think there is too much emphasis on “normalcy” in today’s society. What is normal? IMO, it’s an artificial standard similar to “average” - you take all the wide range of human behaviour, apply mathmatical wizardy somehow to come out with numerical values, and find the middle.

Live in a small town - you’ll see every range of behaviour there is.

I say, Long live eccentricity! It’s the eccentrics who bring colour and spice to our otherwise fairly routine lives.

Or am I digressing again?

Now mind you, the very strict Off Course content monitors are not allowing us to broaden our horizons in a non-horsy way despite our best efforts. For example, were I to introduce the topic “Jim Jeffords Rocks” even though it is VERY horse-related (Morgans!) (the comatose Vermont Clique) it would surely be locked. Perhaps Heidi’s argument will encourage them to loosen up so we do not all become dysfunctional social pariahs. And by the way, Jim Jeffords ROCKS.

it seems to me that any group with common interests tends to get focused on that interest to the exclusion of other things.

I’ve been in gatherings where the women were in the living room talking about nothing but children (in gross detail), recipes, and various housewifery topics while the men were in the kitchen talking ballgames, business and sniggery jokes.

I’ve been at entertainment industry functions - now there’s a GOOD place to find disfunctional people! Topics: agents, facelifts, agents, self, agents, self, etc.

I’ve been to business gatherings - golf, latest government corporate welfare packages, golf, office gossip, golf.

Then I went to a meeting of our local horse people. Topics: horses, kids, other farm animals and functions, politics, history, african violets, music, theater, etc. etc.

The difference, IMO? Our horse group mostly consists of people who have known each other a long time and feel comfortable discussing a wide range of topics, rather than just the safe neutral ground of one shared interest. We even feel safe disagreeing with each other.

So were all the people at the other groups disfunctional? Not necesarily. I believe that everyone had more facets than were shown at these various functions, but the nature of the gatherings didn’t really offer the opportunity to find out, since everyone was being very PC and careful to stay on neutral ground.

Point is, it takes awhile to feel that conversation outside a circumscribed area is appropriate - and if you’re a pro, why would you take a chance on offending potential clients by expressing opinions on topics outside your field which might not be in agreement with the person(s) with whom you are conversing?

There’s an idea in here somewhere -

I’m with Susie… I don’t have many out of the workplace friends who don’t do horses simply because they don’t get it. I do have goals that take precedence over some other things. Call me dysfunctional if you want… I kinda like my life.

Prescribing:
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
But there are lots of things people self prescribe. If I have to treat one more self-induced psychosis from St. John’s Wort, or another antihistamine or Tylenol #1 addict, I’ll have to have a drink
In Canada, psychologists and nurses are lobbying for prescribing priveleges. These will probably be limited, like dentists here. But they will get them. My nurse practitioners are authorized to prescribe about a dozen reasonably safe meds and we haven’t had a major problem. The problem is, if it goes wrong, I’m the one who “signs off” on the meds and will legally be held responsible. So I have the authority to refuse to sign off for someone I don’t trust.

Virgina Satir:
She was a great friend of one of my teachers Maria Gomori, and so came several times during my training to do week long seminars at our medical school. A magician with families who could surround the most hurting people with her warmth and respect for their humanity. A witty and no-nonsense person whom I greatly admired. She died early from her addiction- she was a horrible chain smoker, had started in her early teens and died in her late 50’s from throat cancer.
I have not done the pairs program. Truthfully I have not read many of her books, but learned a lot from being with her and with the families she was called upon to help.
We had one fabulous weekend in 1984 or 85 when Mother Theresa, Virginia and Eliz. Kubler Ross formed a panel on healing. A trio of angels.

Horses:
An antidote to life? More like an essential component, like air or warmth.

I couldn’t agree more. I know so many people in the horse world who are quite dysfunctional. They can’t go a day without boasting about money, their horses, etc. and some even go out of their way to make themselves look good for others. Don’t ask me why. Sure there are show offs in every sport, but it seems to be very present here… One of my old friends (or trainers, I’m not going to say) brought all of her problems to the barn. Debt, divorce, family problems, etc. and all of us had to bear it. Eventually this drove me away, but it is way unhealthy for those who still ride at that barn. And the gossip! Gossip is SO bad around here! Is it like that with anyone else? Every show I go to…gossip,gossip,gossip. Every time I go to the barn to ride (or it used to be this way, I haven’t noticed ANY gossip at the new barn) gossip,gossip,gossip. Anyway, my opinion probably doesn’t mean much, but that’s just my two cents…

Laura & Uno

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>about people who are passionate about other sports, etc. I would think they’re just as crazy as us, right? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I sincerely don’t think so. My sister was in ballet big time. She went to a special academy where they danced and did theory all day, and had special tutors for the kids in school. She went to a lot of competitions and overall, as my mom and her noticed, the people were not nearly as dysfunctional as horse people. Of course there was the whole eating disorder problems, but riding has that too and WAY MORE. I do ballet and jazz dance too (and used to do soccer and synchro swimming), competitively, though not nearly as intense as my sister, and have noticed the same.

Yes, every sport/hobby has their nutcases but I swear the horse world has a much higher proportion. Someone should do a study. But from my experiences and observations, and what I have heard from others, there is something extremely wrong with this sport in those regards.

In my experience, the horse world looks rather like a representative sample of the rest of the world with respect to the incidence of mental health “issues.” I encounter people suffering from varied psychoses, delusions, and personality disorders in about the same proportion in horses as I do outside of horses.

I’ve been lucky to have met some of the most sane, reliable, rational and competent people I know through horses, and I count a few of those among my very best friends.

I’ve never perceived anything inherently healing or, by contrast, crazy-making about horses. I have noticed, however, that people who come into the sport with mental health problems react to horses in different, individual ways. For some, horses bring peace. For others, their horses suffer as a result of the rider’s inability to control impulses.

Interesting topic, pacificsolo. One of my aforementioned best friends, by the way, has been a clinical therapist for over 15 years, and based on her descriptions of colleagues’ behavior, I’ve come to the conclusion that mental health professionals are among the most dysfunctional people around. I’m neither kidding nor exaggerating. You people are nuts!