I just want to make sure I’m not overreacting. How would you feel if you had a neighbor, who was not a horse person in any way, shape or form. Who continually came over and did things like going in to your feed shed and fly spraying your horses without being asked, or filling up your water troughs (which you left low so you could tip and clean them) without being asked. All these things that she would have to go in to your pasture to do, often turning off your electric fence. Would you consider this helpful or invasive? Am I crazy to feel violated about this?
You are not over reacting. All I can think of is she is an accident waiting to happen. Do you have liability insurance? I would be concerned she would get hurt and you would be on the hook for it. Or accidently hurt one of the horses.
I had people coming into my barn several years ago. We spoke to them and it did not slow them down much. No trespassing signs, a double fence and a discussion with the police stopped them.
18 Likes
You are not overreacting. It IS invasive. I don’t mind my neighbors daughter coming over to do horse things, but they have to ASK! I would have a quick adult conversation with her about “boundaries.” If you want to have a good relationship with your neighbor, maybe offer some time that she can come do “supervised” things. More than likely, she thinks she’s being a great neighbor and helping you out.
10 Likes
I call accident waiting to happen. Whatever happened to privacy and not medling with your neighbour. I moved to the country to getaway from people like that. lol!
My neighbour actually calls to bring the grand-daughter by in a stroller to see the horses at the fence line in the driveway. Nothing crazy just an up close look. We have to two loud barkers so they are away so it doesn’t scare the toddler. We have a little visit and they leave.
6 Likes
That is the kind of thing you need to put a stop to quickly. The longer you let it go, the more they feel it is “ok” and will likely do more and more. The liability issues alone would scare me. I don’t care if they are a “horse person” or not – without an owner’s explicit permission, they shouldn’t be trespassing to do any of those things. Along with speaking directly to them, you might want to put your wishes in writing so there is a record (in case they do it again and get hurt or damage something). And locking things up might be a good idea as well, to make it more difficult in case she tries again. The whole thing just sounds crazy - who does that kind of thing??!
21 Likes
Nope nope nope. Your neighbor is trespassing and it is a huge liability. While their intentions may be good, it is a big no-no, especially if they are not a horse person. If she were to get hurt on your property, you can be held responsible. Approach your neighbor and have a nice adult conversation. Explain that they need permission to come onto your property, let alone handling your horses.
Turning off the electric fence, handling your horses and going through the feed room would make me livid!! What if she forgets to turn the fence back on and the horses get out? What if she were to feed your horses something from the feed room and they colic? There’s just so much that can go wrong with this situation. Please take care of this ASAP!
18 Likes
You need to explain to neighbor just why his behavior is not good.
You need to make sure you have signs posted so you are not liable if the neighbor is injured.
What bugs me most is people who come to a barn, who just want to see the horses, and feed treats to horses who should not be getting treats.
4 Likes
Your neighbor has serious boundary issues. It is not normal or acceptable to ever walk onto a neighbor’s property without permission, especially when fences and animals are concerned.
It’s time for a serious conversation, and I wouldn’t sugarcoat things. Just be clear, this is your private property and her coming on it is trespassing and is not acceptable.
People with boundary issues do this all the time–they behave inappropriately (cross social and sometimes legal boundaries) to the point where they make other people seriously uncomfortable. Then they try to make the person they have imposed upon feel guilty because they were “just trying to be nice” and of course had the best of intentions/ were just trying to do a favor/etc. They will try to make you out to be a mean or unreasonable person for insisting on preserving basic boundaries like privacy or the right to not have trespassers on your farm. Despite all those “good intentions” people with boundary issues can be the first to blame others when a problem happens, so don’t think for a second that if this person gets hurt at your place she wouldn’t blame you. Don’t be fooled–some people with boundary issues can be very manipulative, for example, doing you “favors” you don’t want and then insisting that “you owe them.”
In any case, you aren’t a mean or unreasonable person for not wanting someone coming onto your property and fooling with your animals.
18 Likes
Horses are considered an attractive nuisance so signage will go only so far but will not absolutely protect you from a lawsuit if the neighbor is injured.
Learn what is required where you live to mark property properly for ‘No Trespassing’. Signage requirements may easily vary from location to location so find out what is required where you live and then do it.
Talk to neighbor about potential consequences to both your neighbor (hurt/injured by large, reactive (IMO all horses are “reactive” as part of their built-in survival strategy), 1000lb animal) as well as potential injury/health issues to your horse that could cost you thousands of dollars and potentially kill your horse). IMO, don’t be “nice”, be firm and polite.
If no joy and you have posted No Trespassing in accordance with local law, time to call LE and have them visit for both your neighbor and horse’s sake.
7 Likes
Yikes Im sure she means well but you are going to have to talk to her. Just explain you can’t have people on property without direct supervision.
Honestly, I do those things too at the barn where my daughter rides but I always check first to make sure its ok with the owners (and we aren’t trespassing of course).
1 Like
Neighbor is in the wrong. And they will never think they are.
- talk to neighbor face to face. Use words like trespassing, private property, stop what you are doing: I or other hired people are the only ones allowed to manage my horses, including feed, water, and any other interaction.
If they 'explain they were being nice say “Thanks, appreciate the thought: but don’t let it happen again; my property, my horses.”
-
Be sure your property is posted. Close your gate(s) and lock them for awhile: a month is a good stretch.
-
If they do it again? Call LEO first: then go out personally and ask them to leave as they are trespassing.
Welcome to the meanie-head bunch.
You can’t please all of the people on the planet, nor should you. Their behavior is their problem, don’t let them guilt you into putting up with it.
16 Likes
I agree that it seems like the neighbour has good intentions (seems to only want to do helpful things like fill troughs or fly spray the horses) but it is not okay and it is trespassing, especially because she is not a horse person, so in my mind is even more likely to get hurt on your property by your horses. She could leave the fence off and your horses could get out, she could get bit, kicked or run over when she goes out in the pasture because she doesn’t know how to read a herd of horses and get out of the way if they are playing around, etc.
How you deal with it depends on how much you care if this neighbour continues to like you or not. I would fully understand a firm and no-nonsense approach that shuts down any future visits, even if you have to be blunt. But if you think this person is just ditsy, and want to keep the peace, you could explain WHY you do not want her doing things (it isn’t safe, you had a reason for leaving the trough low, you put fly spray on them in the mornings already, etc etc).
Depends how receptive you think the neighbour will be, but definitely agree the behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.
(Not a trespasser issue, but sometimes my boarders will try to be helpful by filling a trough I was letting get down so I could scrub it or filling buckets in the barn that I wanted to dump and clean, so I know to a degree where it’s coming from: they want to be helpful and that’s nice, but I’ve taught them always to check with me first before doing any ‘helpful’ tasks.)
4 Likes
If you WANT to have them on your farm; send them an invite to a specific day and time and ONLY that.
No one should be with your horses without your presence and approval.
3 Likes
I am not even going to say that this person means well. A person who means well asks.
A pushy know it all trespasses and does things assuming you are not taking proper care of them.
They may act all nice and innocent but no one who is normal just walks on property and does these things.
27 Likes
Agree with trubandloki! This person is INSANE! Take all steps to communicate it, and if that fails, call LE on them.
6 Likes
Stop it before this
3 Likes
THIS! This is how it makes me feel. Like she doesn’t think I can take care of my horses. I don’t think she see’s it that way, but I do. My horses are well fed, have proper shelter, regular vet/farrier visits and excellent emergency care as needed.
3 Likes
I think she sees it that way. Is there any other reason to fill the trough or spray your horses than the person doing it does not think you are doing it right? (Now clearly if you asked this person to do this then that would be different.)
3 Likes
I think it needs to stop, but I am always wary of ticking off a neighbor. Especially a neighbor with no sense of boundaries who is at home while I’m at work. I’d try my best to be tactful, but firm.
Out of curiosity, how did this even start? Did you catch her in the act? Did she just pop up one day and tell you she was doing this? Or did you notice the full troughs and empty fly spray bottles and ask her if she knew anything about it?
14 Likes
I think these are great questions.
2 Likes
