The Neighbor

[candyappy]

It would make no difference if my neighbor was a PROFESSIONAL horse person. They don’t belong on my property unasked and especially have no business doing anything in relation to my animals. Time for a heart to heart talk…

[DrBeckett]

We took in a rescue at our barn - really skinny Appy, had skin allergies and looked a mess. One of my techs was telling me about this place that has a half-starved spotted horse and she was going to call the police. I told her go ahead. Animal Control sent the horse to us. They know all about it. Every other horse in the field looked amazing, fat and happy. I understand her concern, but people can be weird about things they know nothing about.

[2DogsFarm]

Sigh…
I had one of these neighbors too.
Give an inch & she will take 5 miles!

After she fed a teeny alfalfa bale (from her son’s dead hamster) to my horses, then proudly told me how she’d given them a treat, I explained how important it is for me to know exactly what they’ve eaten.
She agreed to restrict the “treating” to the occasional apple, cut in quarters & I assumed That was That.

We all know what happens when we ass-u-me :rolleyes:

Sure enough, I started coming home to feedbuckets full of fruit salad with garlic < because she was a vegetarian & claimed garlic was good for humans & horses.
Maybe true, but my 2 left it untouched & in the Summer heat the fermenting mess in the buckets had to be washed out daily.
I reminded her of our agreement & the fruit salad stopped, but it made me uneasy wondering what craziness she’d come up with next.

IIWM, I’d start by explaining:
#1 - you will ask for help if you need it
#2 - she is not welcome to enter your barn, feedroom or pastures unless she asks & you are present
#3 - If she fails at either of these, then LE is your next step.

Better a failed neighborly relationship than a disaster caused by her “help”

Big Crazy moved, but just last night a walker dropped by - coming some 50’ off the road to do so - to Ooh & Aah at my mini & informed me she has been stopping to feed carrots to my other 2 on her walks.
I told her this is okay but explained carrots should not be fed whole due to risk of choking & showed her how to safely break off pieces.
Also told her how I need to know what they eat & to limit to 1 carrot apiece.
Hope she is not my next Can of Worms…

[DunByMistake]

I can think of very few reasons I’d want my neighbour on my property without me being there and they would involve major disasters like fire or blood.

Honestly, it makes me sick to think of this ever happening to me. An example of how easily it could go wrong. My horse had some hind gut issues earlier this spring and he was in a lot of pain. Even gently running a brush down his flank could result in a serious cow kick. I shudder to think of a well meaning but clueless person coming up beside him and giving him a pat on the belly. It likely would’ve resulted in their femur being snapped in half.

Your neighbour has serious issues. I would talk with her about it and explain a) you don’t want anyone on your property without permission and b) she could be seriously hurt or killed by your horse. If she doesn’t give up that easily, call the police and ask them to have a discussion. But I am also curious how you discovered what she was up to!

[rockonxox]

Horse person or not horse person NO NO NO. If you’ve asked them to stop they need to stop. You are in no way over reacting and it could lead to a dangerous situation. This neighbor sees themself as helpful and likely won’t stop unless you get very firm with them.

[SuzieQNutter]

Give her your phone number. There is only a problem if a rug is broken and coming off. Horse is dead lame or horse not just lying down but lying down, sitting up, lying down, sitting up continually.

In all situatuons the horse under no circumstances should be approached. You are to receive a phone call instead.

[JanM]

Time to be proactive, before something happens to her on your property, and the legal trouble starts. Tell this woman, in writing, to stay off your property, stay away from your animals, and that she will be prosecuted if she trespasses or harms your animals in any way. This person doesn’t mean well, or any other excuse. The letter needs to be sent certified, and with proof of delivery. If this person still comes on your property file charges. Contact the local law enforcement about the legal requirements for no trespassing signs, so you can file charges if necessary. Lock the gates until you determine that she has stopped trespassing.

If she trespasses again, call the police, and file charges. People without boundaries have to be stopped firmly, or they continue to do exactly what they want to do. She thinks she knows more than you do about your animals, and unless you stop her now, her intrusions will continue.

With someone like this, you have to establish firm limits, or she’ll never stop. You need to stop her quickly, before something happens that jeopardizes your animals, or before something happens that leads to a lawsuit from her leaving a gate open, or other calamity. And my guess is that if something happens to her on your property, you’ll be sorry you didn’t stop her from trespassing.

[mmeqcenter]

@Cameraine

I just want to make sure I’m not overreacting. How would you feel if you had a neighbor, who was not a horse person in any way, shape or form. Who continually came over and did things like going in to your feed shed and fly spraying your horses without being asked, or filling up your water troughs (which you left low so you could tip and clean them) without being asked. All these things that she would have to go in to your pasture to do, often turning off your electric fence. Would you consider this helpful or invasive? Am I crazy to feel violated about this?

I would be furious if any neighbor did this, horsey or not. Completely agree with @trubandloki .

Also curious how on earth this started. Did you offer a polite “sure maybe you can come see the horses sometime” and she took it as an open invitation?

[Ruth0552]

Aside from the talk, I’d install a couple game cameras in my barn…

And a horse person would never do this. Definitely not a horse professional at least. Unless there was obvious neglect, then speak with the owner, but most of us would run for the hills. We have enough of our own to take care of, thanks.

[meupatdoes]

@WildandWickedWarmbloods

You need to explain to neighbor just why his behavior is not good.

Nope.
“Explaining why” makes it sound like it’s up for negotiation.

I would just say, “This is my property and it is NOT OK with me for you to come here univited. You need to go back to your own house.”

Any but buts can be met with “It’s not up for negotiation, you need to go back to your own place.”

[Bluey]

First time here, I would have told her she trespassing, to please call first and be sure you are ready to accept visitors, never to just come in unannounced, you cherish your privacy.

Then keep repeating that, as many times as necessary.

You can add, if something is wrong in her place you will call her, not go in there, what idea!
If she sees anything wrong, you will appreciate a call and you will take care of it.
No trespassing, your insurance is not set up for anyone coming in without you right there, if you want to give a reason.

I like the idea of security cameras, then call the police if she trespasses again.

People that would intrude in other’s places at will and not think anything about it have to be clearly told where you stand, hands on your hips, you the one to be obeyed, or else.

First time you caught her that should have been your response by the very clearly alarmed and worried you.
Think about a CJ moment, just as with a pushy horse.

You still can go there now, see if that works.

[js]

I would not put anything in your talk to her, certified letter, etc. how ever you approach this problem, that leaves an opening for her to continue. Saying something like call me if there is a problem, let me know if you see something wrong, etc. is an invitation to this type of person to continue to stake out your place and your horses looking for something to be wrong. The only way to deal with someone like this is to completely shut the door to them. Get security cameras, post no trespassing signs, post your states equine liability signs. Call your local police and ask them what you can do, maybe they would be willing to have a talk with the lady about trespassing.

[Palm_Beach]

OK OP, we are all on the same page and we need closure! What is your plan and/or what did you do?

[danacat]

@Cameraine

How would you feel if you had a neighbor, who was not a horse person in any way, shape or form. Who continually came over and did things…

I’d ask her if she wants a job, and if she does I’d hire her immediately!

JUST KIDDING!

IMO: Any neighbor or person who takes it upon themselves to enter private property and commence to ‘set things straight’ on said property, is either dealing with some entitlement issues – or – feels (as you said) that you’re negligent in your horse care – or – they DO want to be involved – or, or, or.

Bottom line: There IS a reason for their behavior. Would be good to find ‘the reason’ – hopefully by just asking them and getting an answer. If they are bold enough to trespass then they are certainly bold enough to give you the correct answer. Then you’ll know how to handle them.

[Equibrit]

@Cameraine

I just want to make sure I’m not overreacting. How would you feel if you had a neighbor, who was not a horse person in any way, shape or form. Who continually came over and did things like going in to your feed shed and fly spraying your horses without being asked, or filling up your water troughs (which you left low so you could tip and clean them) without being asked. All these things that she would have to go in to your pasture to do, often turning off your electric fence. Would you consider this helpful or invasive? Am I crazy to feel violated about this?

I’d be slapping her with a cease and desist order ! People like that ignore nice, what they need is a big hammer.
http://jux.law/cease-desist-harassme…mplate-letter/

[GrayMare]

I’m sure it would feel like “over reacting” but I think you would be wise to put something in writing to this person. Whether it is an email or a letter, I think it would be a good idea to document that you have notified this person they do not have permission to be on your property or to handle your horses. None of us want to make enemies of our neighbors. But flagrant trespassing is really over the line and it’s okay to be clear about saying so.

I certainly wouldn’t give her any openings to come on your property, like “emergencies,” because I doubt a person like this could correctly identify–or handle–an emergency related to horses. Most likely she would make things worse or get herself hurt.

[walkinthewalk]

@trubandloki

I am not even going to say that this person means well. A person who means well asks.

A pushy know it all trespasses and does things assuming you are not taking proper care of them.
They may act all nice and innocent but no one who is normal just walks on property and does these things.

^^^^^This. I haven’t had that happen yet. The only rental house on my rural farm road borders my barn yard and is now up for sale. There have been some nut job renters who did at least listen when I immediately paid them a visit and explained why they shouldn’t feed the horse in the barnyard. I can only hope whomever buys the house will be equally as respectful or they will have h**l to pay.

It would only take the first time of me realizing someone was trespassing to call my neighbor thru the woods and file a police report. And watch how fast I write a check for game cameras and an audio/visual barn security system.

I would be livid beyond description.

[Hulk]

Wow!!! I would freak right out. Are you over reacting? No. Would I overreact? Oh heck yeah. That is why I would go the cease and desist order, or LEO, or certified letter from my lawyer route.

[Zu_Zu]

:eek: Go to her house … for this discussion …

NO ! Do Not come onto my property while I am gone. ( * If there is a concern call me … give your number If you must.)

Do not go in my pasture or barn or …anything.

I have things including the water troughs set up for a reason…

:eek: I do not need or want you to be around the horses … accidents happen.

Thank you for your concern.

I would put up NO Trespassing signs including one at the gate to the pasture.

You must keep your horses and property safe and you DO NOT want any accidents !

This is a tough situation … no need to ask me how I know … and needs to be nipped in the bud immediately ! IMHO

Good Luck … don’t hesitate … get this taken care of this weekend please…

[JustTheTicket]

I would be upset, sure, but I also wouldn’t go in there with uzis when you I don’t know if this neighbor has a tendency to escalate things and is also home when I’m at work. Just go over there, firmly tell her, “hey. This is my property. Don’t come over and do stuff when I’m not here. Its not safe for you or the horses. Its trespassing. I will call the police if it continues to happen.”

I don’t know how well you know this neighbor, or how this habit even started, but just end it now. Don’t be rude, even though you’re understandably freaked out. Just set the boundaries and then leave it. She might be one of those people who got an invitation to come over once and thought it meant come over any time and do whatever chores you think might need to be done, or she might be a person who is home all day judging how her neighbors neglect their animals and will make your life hell if you come at her with guns blazing. But of course talk to her about it.