The Sport We Love

[QUOTE=Laurierace;7550094]
What do I have to be bitter about? I have more blessings in my life than I could ever ask for and am not quitting anything. You are the self proclaimed quitter.[/QUOTE]

You seem like the one who wants attention or the “limelight,” as you put it. No one makes a bold statement like that out of the blue to someone they don’t even know.

And there’s nothing wrong with knowing yourself well enough to know it’s time to throw in the towel. It’s maturity…something you may or may not have. But again, I don’t know you, so I’ll never know.

[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7550157]
You seem like the one who wants attention or the “limelight,” as you put it. No one makes a bold statement like that out of the blue to someone they don’t even know.

And there’s nothing wrong with knowing yourself well enough to know it’s time to throw in the towel. It’s maturity…something you may or may not have. But again, I don’t know you, so I’ll never know.[/QUOTE]

Based on this statement, I think you are right. It IS time to throw in the towel. Any horse you should ride will bear the brunt of your frustration. I hope in time you will realize your talent and gift and be able to approach horsemanship with true sportsmanship. Best of luck.

[QUOTE=Zuri;7550167]
Based on this statement, I think you are right. It IS time to throw in the towel. Any horse you should ride will bear the brunt of your frustration. I hope in time you will realize your talent and gift and be able to approach horsemanship with true sportsmanship. Best of luck.[/QUOTE]

^^^^ THIS

I don’t think the horse world is at a loss here.

I’m not sure if I ever jumped a 4ft jump… at least not on purpose! That’s not going to stop me for continuing to ride :slight_smile:

and I’m sorry, but it seems very common with threads like these that people have all sorts of mysterious illnesses. I’m not claiming the OP doesn’t, but it just always seems to be the case.

I know this isn’t facebook, but the phrase “FACE your problems, don’t facebook them” comes to mind. Sounds like you have some issues to handle and you don’t really want to hear other people’s opinions… maybe just type these thoughts into a personal blog or journal, it won’t argue with you.

[QUOTE=2LaZ2race;7550196]

and I’m sorry, but it seems very common with threads like these that people have all sorts of mysterious illnesses. I’m not claiming the OP doesn’t, but it just always seems to be the case.

I know this isn’t facebook, but the phrase “FACE your problems, don’t facebook them” comes to mind. Sounds like you have some issues to handle and you don’t really want to hear other people’s opinions… maybe just type these thoughts into a personal blog or journal, it won’t argue with you.[/QUOTE]

I could PM you doctor’s notes, blood work, tests, etc. if you’d like. The last 9 years have been living hell. You have no idea.

I have faced my problems: where I live, I can’t financially progress to higher levels. Problem can’t be solved; I’ve exhausted every possibility. (And going down to lesson horse heights of 2’3" isn’t a possibility.) I appreciate other people’s opinions, but at the same token, they aren’t listening to me. I can’t afford to buy a green or OTTB. I am not interested in showing. I just want to progress, which is human nature.

As I said at the very beginning, this was a cathartic post. I wasn’t forcing anyone to respond. Just said that comments were welcome, etc. This forum was my vehicle to tell what I was going through, nothing more.

[QUOTE=Cindyg;7550156]
I can honestly say that if I found out I could never ride again, it would not lesson my enjoyment of the hobby very much. Some, yes, of course; but it would certainly not ruin it for me.

I could not have said that at 24.

But now that I am in my 50s, there’s just so much more to loving horses than riding, never mind showing.[/QUOTE]

I am 24 and I can say that if I found out I could never ride again, I’d be okay. Sad, heartbroken, for sure. But honestly, I like my horse (whom I bought 10 years ago with my own money) more than I like riding, and definitely more than showing. He could have been a solid 3’ horse, maybe even a 4’ horse, but I find crossrails more inviting. We have fun grooming and hand grazing and cantering around the pasture a couple times a week. He’s okay with the situation.

There was a time in my life when I too wanted to show in the big leagues. It was frustrating and upsetting that I could never afford it. But, I found a way to be happy with what I have. One day, I’m going to be an eventer. Right now, I don’t have the time, money, or horse to do that. Until I do, I’m going to enjoy what I have.

If you focus on negatives-what you can’t do, what you don’t have- you’ll never be satisfied.

Humility and gratefulness are important lessons. You’re not too good to swing a leg over that old 2’3" school horse. He has something to teach you and getting to ride him or any other horse is a gift. Appreciate it.

At the same time, you don’t seem to be listening either, why do you feel progressing means jumping higher than four feet. That number does not, remotely, represent ability as a horseman.

If you don’t care about showing, and you love horses… … … I’m sorry, I guess I just can’t wrap my head around how you feel.

Further to this (after re-reading your posts), I cant help but wonder how you blame a pony for your bad habits (and I am presuming this is your reason for wanting to ride something worth $100,000, so you can work solely on yourself?).

You figure out how to ride those difficult horses and better yourself.

I too have dreams of riding at the top of show jumping (1.5m). There was a time when I got too obsessed with the goal and started to hate riding. I took a step back and read what the members of the forum posted to me. I have a cow bred QH right now because I couldn’t afford a made horse. You know what she made me realize that my goals were putting too much stress on her and me. I love the process and I worked my butt off at the barn. I helped turnout horses clean stalls, groom at shows and everything else you could think of all while working 80 plus hours a week. I did it just to help out and learn. Well one day before I moved to CO my trainer offered me a ride on one of the sale horses and you know what I had a blast I thanked her for letting me ride this fantastic mare(who was more than able to do 4’+).

The work you put in shouldn’t be hinged on getting something in return, people can see that a mile away. It should be to learn and expound you knowledge. If you feel yourself getting taken advantaged of tell them thanks for everything and be on your way.

[QUOTE=fordtraktor;7549986]
I am sorry, but it is ridiculous to say that to get better you need to jump higher. Nobody steps off one horse jumping 4’ and then gets the next horse and starts jumping 4’3 off the bat. Do what the rest of us do and get the next horse and learn whatever it is that horse has to teach you.

You get better by riding more and more difficult horses with more precision and mindfulness, not by jumping bigger fences.

If you want to give up that is fine. If there is no joy in riding for you if you can’t jump more than 4’, you might as well. On the other hand, if you were just having a bad day when you posted this, shake it off and get back out there. There are a lot of us out there doing more with less than you, and doing very well. You will be fine. We all have down days.[/QUOTE]

Amen, amen. This is just what I was going to say. I am in my 50s, progressed through the ranks in Pony Club, and am a good, strong rider who can train a green horse or ride a decent jumper course. I never got that way by having a push-button type of horse that could jump a 4’ course consistently. I never could afford it.

What you need to do is perhaps take a break from riding to concentrate on other issues in your life right now. There is nothing wrong with that–I took a looong hiatus from riding to concentrate on career, marriage, grad school, and family. If you do go back to it, try to realize that there are many paths to becoming a skilled horsewoman. Horses can play a major role in your life and can continue to be therapeutic for you (as they continue to be for me)–just not necessarily in the way you have envisioned.

Your plan did not work out because of finances. You’re not the first one who has posted about this, and I am sure you won’t be the last. Hang in there–there is a horse out there who is waiting to be your partner–he or she is what we call a diamond in the rough–and you can help him to shine.

Op, you have recieved some great advice in this thread yet you seem to have an excuse for every option and suggestion. It sounds like you are your own worst enemy and that is what is holding you back. Its time to re-evaluate your horse priorities and adjust your goals (at least for the near future).

[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7550244]
… I can’t afford to buy a green or OTTB. I am not interested in showing. I just want to progress, which is human nature.
…[/QUOTE]

You won’t make it in dressage either. Hate to break the news to you but it is just as expensive as Hunters, especially when you start moving up the levels. No greater chance of making a name for yourself in dressage than in hunters, especially if you aren’t into showing. A little reality check, if you totaled up all the riders in the US, you would find that probably 90% of them ride green, OTTB, off breed horses and never achieve much BUT do it because they love horses and love to ride. Most of us out there work hard just to own a horse and are darn proud of what we own, regardless of breed or ability. You are young and just starting to realize that life isn’t always going to be what we dreamed it would be, that goes for horses, careers, you name. Learn to appreciate what you do have and not what other’s have and you will be a much happier person.

I posted a longer reply but accidentally closed the window. OP you can’t escape your problem by jumping higher and higher… The horse and how he makes me feel has always been enough for me. Maybe you’re having a bad day? I’m not sure but this really makes you sound like a narcissist. I get being frustrated and I’m sure everyone here does but the phrase “cutting off the nose to spite your face” comes to mind here.

I’m not sure if the OP really intended to come across as whiny and self-serving or not, so I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

But OP, I have to say… if you’re quitting this sport because physically you cannot hold up to doing it anymore, that’s one thing. If you’re quitting because you mistakenly think that the only way for you to progress is to jump higher jumps, then maybe you should.

Why do I say that?

Because the people who truly love this sport, not the ones who love the glory or the limelight or the blue ribbons, but love the sport and the horses, will do anything to keep being around the horses. They’re the ones who will groom all day for the chance to sit on anything, whether it’s a 30 year old school horse or a rehabbing horse who just walks for 20 minutes. They’re the ones who like to spend time with their horse(s), regardless of whether they can ride or not. They’re the ones who know every quirk their horse has on the ground and undersaddle. They love the sport - because they love the animals.

Based on your posts, I’m not sure that describes you, and maybe it would be better for you to stop.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

I guess it’s a little hard for me to identify because I’ve never had the money/time/connections to do ANY of the things you’ve gotten to do so far?!

There’s no way you can find pleasure in this sport aside from competing in the jumpers at the highest levels? In some ways, that makes me sad for you. I’ve had so much less… and it appears I’ve found so much more joy. Somewhere along the line, something went very wrong that the only joy you can find in horses is jumping 4 foot or higher. You’re missing out on so much.

I wish you luck, I hope there’s something in life you can find that makes you happy.

2 Likes

Your reality is you have X amt of money and Y health issues.

I have health issues too. Its an excuse if you want it to be?

Money is an excuse if you want it to be?

So you have to play within these constraints-- so what? You are creating more limitations on yourself here.

If you can’t even afford a horse, how do you think you might show/lease/ride?

So either you give up and quit or sort out a creative answer to this—?

No one is going to hand you much, sorry.

Its too bad this is your mental framework, it could be so much richer for you if you enjoyed the process.

Try googling “Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport+Eric Lamaze”.

What you will find in a pdf document, in part, is this.

"Personal Background

Eric Lamaze was born in Montreal on April 16, 1968. His life of 28 years already
provides ample material for a compelling biography or full-length movie. The facts which follow are not recited for any voyeuristic purpose but to demonstrate the incredible strength of character and resilience of this remarkable young man.

He has no brothers or sisters and neither he nor his mother knows who his father is. Since his mother had problems with drug abuse and was unable to support him, he lived with his maternal grandmother in a poor area of Montreal for the first twelve years of his life. She was separated from his grandfather. While she appeared to treat him well, she was a heavy drinker and their only source of income was social assistance.

There was a great deal of illicit drug use in the area where Eric’s grandmother lived and drugs were readily available “on the street”. By the time he was eleven or twelve he had used marijuana and experimented with “magic mushrooms” and “LSD”. Such drug use was common amongst his friends and was expected of those who “fit in”. It occurred mostly on week-ends.

His mother would visit him occasionally on week-ends but some time after he turned six, she was incarcerated over a period of approximately four years. He would be taken to visit her on week-ends. After his mother was released, he lived with her for approximately two years (when he was twelve and thirteen years of age). During this time, she trafficked in drugs and, particularly, cocaine. His mother did not discourage his own use of cocaine during this period.

Eric was an energetic and, possibly, “hyperactive” child who took readily and
successfully to sports. His mother had an acquaintance who owned a farm with horses where she ran an informal school. One way or another, he would get to the farm and started to ride horses until he became enamoured with the sport of equestrian riding. His riding began while he was still living with his grandmother. He learned quickly and the owner of the farm eventually provided him with a horse so that he could attend horse shows.

Throughout this period, he was also developing his skills in tennis. From the time he was six, Eric would “hang out” at a park near his grandmother’s. One day, someone gave him a tennis racket and he began hitting balls. Again, he learned quickly and soon was playing doubles with older people. As he became increasingly proficient, he began to receive compliments and occasional tips. He was invited to join a tennis club in another area which competed in the province of Quebec and in the United States. By the time he was twelve, he had a sponsor and was competing seriously.

However, it soon became apparent that he would not be able to continue to compete in tennis if he wanted to pursue riding. At the age of thirteen, he quit tennis. The reaction of many of those closest to him at the time was traumatic for him. The response of his mother, grandmother, tennis coach and sponsors was overwhelmingly negative. They all felt that he was squandering a talent which would allow him to be successful in spite of his poorperformance at school.

Eric reacted to their rejection of him by becoming a “street kid”. He stopped going to school, went to a lot of parties, took the odd job in order to live and, generally, was aimless in life. The only constant factor in his life was his commitment to riding and his visits to the farm for that purpose."

I’m confused that if someone were to hand you a made 4ft horse you would take it, yet a greenie you can’t afford to pay board, vet, farrier, etc… the made horse has all those same expenses.

It doesn’t matter though as you are clearly uninterested in what other people have to say and only want to hear yourself speak. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

1 Like

Limited funds are always a perceived factor for everyone at every level.

Even when we outsiders looking in believe otherwise. I deal with a princess daughter of King Midas and she perceives she has the same woes.

When you step out for others and give, you begin to understand yourself, step back and start to love yourself.

Or just quit. It opens your door for someone else needing an opportunity.

For the vast majority of people out there, having a horse to ride is a privilege afforded to those who have either expendable income to pay for it themselves or a wealth of talent so that others will provide the opportunities.

OP, you apparently do not fit into either of these categories.

Your priorities are skewed.

At 24, your top priorities should be to get healthy, get educated, become financially self-supporting. Once you have reached these goals, then it’s your choice whether or not riding is something you can have in your life.

“Riding is my therapy!”

Well, it’s mine too, but it comes after the bills are paid and my other responsibilities are met. It sucks, but there it is.

1 Like

[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7549922]
My goals are to get better, go back to school, graduate with a Masters in Nutrition from a Big 10 school, and become a successful nutritionist. Until my health problems are resolved, I’m in limbo. It could be years before doctors can figure out how to solve any of my many problems.[/QUOTE]

Maybe this should be your first priority. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I’ve been down a similar road as you, am a semi-talented rider with a number of health issues who has only had a moderate amount of opportunities and certainly not as many as you. I got a 4yo OTTB out of the kill pen at an auction as a kid for $463. That was it. I made him up and won a few ribbons, sometimes in serious company. My mom and I ran a house cleaning business and cleaned the other barn kid’s rich parents toilets. I’m sure a few COTHers have heard me mention this before. I am now 27 and I have a full time job at a medical company that does not pay generously, I work HARD and do my boss’ job now that she was laid off. I work long hours and I ride after work. I own a green broke 4yo. That’s all I can have.

Maybe you should focus on getting your degree done in whatever time it will take you to complete, so you can go out there on your own and support yourself and your dreams. No one will hand you or me anything, and why should they when THEY have worked hard to earn the money to pay for it? I am a better than average (but not mind blowing) rider and I can’t quit my full time job and be a working student to get great rides. So don’t say you are grateful- BE grateful for the fact that you have had so much more than many of the very talented pros (and ammys) that are giving you advice on this forum, and go out there and do whatever you can to get the job that will buy you that OTTB to make up yourself.

Good luck and don’t let being 24 get in your way. Who I was and what I could afford at 24 is a lot different than 27.

I’m hoping this will pass, because you’re 24 and people grow up, but what I see is someone who’s so hung up on fence height that you can’t see all of the wonderful gifts you’ve been given – someone who just wants to ride the crap out of horses that other people may well have sacrificed and scrimped and worked long hours to acquire and bring along.