The Ultimate Gay Pride Message

[Jair]

Hadyn’s post and its possible ramifications have sparked me to write this. Considering the number of members that belong to this BB, I am sure he is not the only boy or young man (or girl) that is struggling with their sexuality. So I am writing this for them in the hopes they see it, and realize that they are not alone and that there are more of “us” out here.

Hello, my name is Jair and I am a 27 year old gay man from the westcoast of BC, Canada. I live with my partner of 3 years and work in the mining industry as a geologist.

I will not lie and say that my being gay has always been easy, since it hasn’t. I have met with adversity, been picked on and called names. But that is just a tiny portion of my life. For the most part I have lived my life as any other man out there, I am athletic, I like sports and am good at them, I drink beer as well as the rest of them, and have been known to perform totally stupid an inane acts under the banner of too much testosterone.

So for Haydn or others who are struggling with this - I am not a stereotypical, limp wristed, flutey voiced, caftan wearing and flower arranging gay man that you may be thinking of, and scared of becoming. I am just a normal man. In fact, I am most commonly found in plaid shirts, jeans and a ball cap. You would never know I was gay.

Like all other people, gay men come in different types, shapes, and with varied interests. What’s important is who YOU are, and what you do with your life. And its important for you to realize that within yourself - Don�t be taken in by what your buddies may be saying, or what you may hear. There is a lot of negativity towards homosexuality, and you will hear it and you will have to face adversity along the way sometimes, but take it from someone who knows, that the majority of people I have met and cared about in life, have embraced me for who and what I am.

You are lucky too to be in the horse world, for they are a very accepting and wonderful group of people as demonstrated on this BB. Stay with the horses, make friends and they’ll probably be with you for life.

Basically, what I’m trying to say in a round about way is

I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m proud of it!

~Jair
carebearjair@hotmail.com

[Spunky]

At the risk of being redundant (everyone has expressed themselves so well!)

Know yourself and be yourself! Happiness will follow, even if the path is difficult.

Jair, thank you for opening up this thread where anyone can feel comforted even if they are “just” a lurker!!

[ClipClop]

I think society has tried to push homosexuality these last few years. I really do think it is our choice though. I think most people on this board know this now, but I’m a strong Christian. No, Im not going to flame anyone here, because wouldn’t that just be hipocrosy? However, everyday, we all have choices to make, we all have the choice to rob that bank, but do we? No, because most people know that would be morally and lawfully wrong. No, Im not trying to convert anyone, and Jair I love you for who you are, and I would never ever say that you are a bad person for your descions. They are yours alone to make, and Hayden, I hope you make the correct one for you.

[Applesauce]

Jair, what a strong person you are. Congratulations on having figured things out. And even if you really haven’t you’re doing an awesome job to being well on the way.

Your parents should be proud of the wonderful and insightful person you have become. Whether you realize it or not, you now have a large fan club on this BB. And I’m nominating myself for president!!

~Courtney~

[Robby_Johnson]

Your dad is gay too? How cool! (Sorry, everyone else, but I think it is.) You must have a lot in common. And what a gift you must be to him.

Regarding my “accessible” comment … get your head out of the gutter! Only Madonna can pull off the “All Access” thing!

I meant that Jair made himself “accessible” as a gay man to anyone who might have questions or who might want to have a cerebral discussion about homosexuality. He staked his claim as a SME (subject matter expert). As did I, in my postscript.

ClipClop, I also thought of a recent development which made big gay news (you can probably read about it at www.advocate.com). One of those “reformed” homosexuals who made the “choice” that you refer to, was found smack up in a gay watering hole in DC. He’d been there 45 minutes before he was recognized, and then claimed he’d happenend by the place and needed to use the bathroom.

Robby

OBH: Going riding tonight. Going hunting, for the first time, this weekend. I get to ride a real life imported Irish hunter!

[This message was edited by Robby Johnson on Feb. 22, 2001 at 12:08 PM.]

[Merry]

Jair, I find you appealing not only because of your open personality, but also your sense of empathy for others struggling with adversity. But most of all, I admire you for having my dream job: a geologist! I SWEAR, that is what I shall be in my next life. I LOVE rocks and earth. My greatest joy was going into Carlsbad Caverns. Seriously! So, I’m your fan for life! What a guy!

[Kimberley]

Wow, what a wonderful topic Jair - I just found it! I hope it saves some young kids years of heartache over their sexuality.
My husband’s brother is gay and he even kept it from his twin until he was 20. He could not bear to tell his parents until he was 24. It took the parents years to accept it because they were always taught that it was sinful. Now, through education they understand sexual preference.
Homosexuality exists in every animal kingdom yet only in ours (suppose to be the highest) is there such discrimination. Sad isn’t it?

[Puffin]

What a lovely thing to say Sharon. I could cry now.

You see, Jair is my brother, and I couldn’t bare to think of something happening to him. Thank you for sharing your story.

I only found this thread today (my brother neglected to mention it) and I can’t say enough about the people here who are responding to it with such compassion, genuineness and shear class.

I’m going to have to visit my brother tonight just so I can give him a hug!

[Jair]

I don’t know that one Heidi!

My favourite gay themed book has got to be The Front Runner by Patricia Neil Warren. Beautiful book, although sad. Hayden should probably read it if its in his library.

[Jair]

You’re funny Wingsy!!

You know considering the reaction dear Alice got to her one picture, I’m afraid to post anymore of them - I wouldn’t want to ruin her image!

[K_Spade]

BobO- that was REALLY rude. And as a junior who quite often is out of line in my actions on this bb and in life in general, I’m still appaled that you would post that…

[Louise]

I have been away from the computer all day, so I didn’t see your latest post until just now, BobO. Pretty much everything has been said, but I do want to add my voice to all of those telling you that you have made a pretty rude and stupid statement.

Sometimes it is best not to speak, if you don’t know the person you are talking about. Take the time to read some of those past posts others have mentioned. Then maybe you’ll get an idea of what kind of person Jair really is!

[wtywmn4]

And bless you. That was an insiteful and excellent post.

[K_Spade]

BobO, you are really rude! Everyone IS entitled to freedom of speech, but one would think that an educated adult would have enough sense to be polite. True, you can say whatever you want, but what you have been saying only makes you look really ignorrant.

[Lavender_Menace]

Jair, I really appreciated reading your post. It came at a particularly opportune time for me as I am struggling with my own homosexuality issues as we speak. The issue is not whether I am or am not (thank god that’s over with!) but instead over how very ignorant and narrow-minded the majority of people are concerning this sensitive subject. Currently my girlfriend (22 years old and financially independent) is having World War III with her parents because they refuse to accept her for what she is. They even go so far as to say that THEY WILL NOT LOVE HER ANYMORE OR BE HER PARENTS if she persists with her “deviant lifestyle.” I find this to be so outrageous I can hardly keep myself from spitting when I think about it. Can you imagine witholding love from your children because they are different? Can you imagine forcing them to lie to you because they are afraid that you will hate them and reject them? I beg all of you parents to be open-minded if your children come to you with the “news” of their sexuality. The pain and hurt that parents like my girlfriend’s cause is irreparable. I think it is wholly unforgiveable.

[B.G.M_heidi]

ClipClop, I think you are most likely a wonderful and compassionate person.

I do wonder though, if sexuality were truly a matter of choice, Matthew Shepard would have ‘chosen’ to be gay.

[K_Spade]

Right on, Jair… For my early life, the single MOST IMPORTANT person in my life was gay (my pony trainer), and you know what I learned? He’s no different than me or you or anyone on this board! =) Anyways, thanks for posting this, Jair, you seem like a really nice person!

[hobson]

For those who think that one’s sexual orientation is chosen, can you pinpoint the moment you DECIDED to be heterosexual? I sure can’t.

I love this quote (can’t remember where I heard it): “I don’t mind heterosexual people, as long as they don’t try to force their lifestyle on me!”

I’m not sure, ClipClop, why you perceive homosexuality as something being increasingly “pushed” these days, since I’ve noticed the opposite. For each legislative or policy victory eked out in favor of gay rights, there’s been a backlash. The Defense of Marriage Act comes to mind - after Hawaii made moves to legalize gay marriage, our esteemed national congressmen decided that this somehow threatened all other hetero marriages and asserted that a male-female couple is the ONLY legitimate form of marriage.

And Colorado is a state worth watching - it’s known as a “bellwether state” in political science circles, because policy initiatives there often foretell how the other states will lean. I’m worried about Colorado because there is much legislative action AGAINST civil rights protection in terms of sexual orientation.

And of course, the popularity of Eminen speaks for itself - millions of music consumers are perfectly willing to forgive him his violently anti-gay messages “because he’s such a great musician!” they say. I’ve noticed that if this sorry excuse for an artist didn’t have gay people, he would not have much at all to sing about.

[Jair]

Thank you for your words Weeble. I don’t suppose you’re named after those weeble wobble toys? I used to love those!

Thanks Tin, Merry my bosom-geologist! and my pal SoEasy too!

(Hands of my Alice AHC!! I shall be after you should she be missing this evening!)

[CraZ4Horses]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jl:

John never had a problem accepting who he was but he always felt it necessary to protect his very very devout Catholic parents from his life style. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If I remember correctly, the Catholic church is accepting to gay people adn treats them normally. The one difference is that they will not allow them to be married in the church because it goes against the beliefs of the church. But anyway, AWESOME post Jair. It’s good to see that people aren’t ashamed to be themselves. Right on!