Such a beautiful thread. It gives me hope that the world, she is a changin.
My hat is off to everyone who has posted in this thread.
Puffin - Give him an extra hug from all of us.
My book - your Alice. Seems like an even trade to me.
but along the same lines. The following is from Newsweek, Feb. 1, 2001, p. 10, a short piece titled “Monkey Don’t Ask, Monkey Don’t Tell”
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Amsterdam may be well known for its coffee-houses, but they’re hardly the most eye-opening thing the city has to offer anymore. Artis Zoo is running what it calls “gayded tours,” on which you may happen upon animals engaged in same-sex acts. But don’t buy a plane ticket just yet. The tour is not a peep show, but more something you’d see on the Discovery Channel (Very late at night.) Zoo director Maarten Frankenhuis says his aim is to educate people about opportunistic homosexuality in the animal kingdom. The tour – which costs $12, the regular zoo admission fee --makes eight stops and lasts more than an hour. (It’s by appointment only.) At one attraction, the Children’s Farm, visitors can view “young bulls with a preference for their own sex even in the presence of willing females,” says Frankenhuis. “We get mostly gay people and mothers with their sons after they’ve just come out.” Dolphins, porpoises, whales, flamingos, elephants, chimps, gorillas – two by two, there’s a veritable ark full of animals who exhibit homosexual behavior, says Frankenhuis, adding that young male goats, when expelled from their family at sexual maturity, will start to mate with each other. “This is when there are no females available. Like in English boarding schools.” <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
That last sentence is clearly tongue-in-cheek, but the point is there – homosexuality is part of nature, not something to fear or despise.
Thank you for saying what I felt, but could not find the right words for.
Jair, please do not take BobO’s harsh words to heart. We know you here. We know better.
April
Hadyn’s post and its possible ramifications have sparked me to write this. Considering the number of members that belong to this BB, I am sure he is not the only boy or young man (or girl) that is struggling with their sexuality. So I am writing this for them in the hopes they see it, and realize that they are not alone and that there are more of “us” out here.
Hello, my name is Jair and I am a 27 year old gay man from the westcoast of BC, Canada. I live with my partner of 3 years and work in the mining industry as a geologist.
I will not lie and say that my being gay has always been easy, since it hasn’t. I have met with adversity, been picked on and called names. But that is just a tiny portion of my life. For the most part I have lived my life as any other man out there, I am athletic, I like sports and am good at them, I drink beer as well as the rest of them, and have been known to perform totally stupid an inane acts under the banner of too much testosterone.
So for Haydn or others who are struggling with this - I am not a stereotypical, limp wristed, flutey voiced, caftan wearing and flower arranging gay man that you may be thinking of, and scared of becoming. I am just a normal man. In fact, I am most commonly found in plaid shirts, jeans and a ball cap. You would never know I was gay.
Like all other people, gay men come in different types, shapes, and with varied interests. What’s important is who YOU are, and what you do with your life. And its important for you to realize that within yourself - Don�t be taken in by what your buddies may be saying, or what you may hear. There is a lot of negativity towards homosexuality, and you will hear it and you will have to face adversity along the way sometimes, but take it from someone who knows, that the majority of people I have met and cared about in life, have embraced me for who and what I am.
You are lucky too to be in the horse world, for they are a very accepting and wonderful group of people as demonstrated on this BB. Stay with the horses, make friends and they’ll probably be with you for life.
Basically, what I’m trying to say in a round about way is
I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m proud of it! 
~Jair
carebearjair@hotmail.com
I do not use PC except to show how rediculouse it is .
You all are SO PC. You are as … I stopped myself on that old comment.
You all say Freedom of speach BUT only if its PC and you THINK Gay is PC.
Just read the negatives you just posted and look for MY freedom of speech, my freedom to disagree.
And Hayden, do not get brain soaked by these bleeding heart … Your only gay if YOU say you are.
Good bye for now.
I love you JairBear!!
OMG! I leave for two business days and all Gay Heck breaks loose! As Madonna said in her “SEX” book, “I felt like I was in the movie ‘Shampoo’ and I only had a small part!”
Great post Jair! Thanks to everyone else for their kind words. I am still curious if Hayden ever resurfaced. I sent him an email message Wednesday night before I left but never heard anything.
As horsemen and horsewomen - of both sexual identities - we share a really common passion and bond … horses. So I think if we can all offer honest support to each other where our horses are concerned, we should be able to offer it to each other where ourselves are concerned.
BobO - I think you likely missed the point of Jair’s OP - that it’s OK for a person to be gay and that it’s OK to seek out other people to talk to. Jair made himself accessible and that was a very generous and admirable thing to do.
Robby
p.s. I’m accessible too!
Thank you SO MUCH for all the kind words! I’m feeling rather shy now… not used to this sort of thing.
(Nice try Heidi 
Alice isn’t going anywhere!)
Okay, I’m not about to get into the controversy out here over choice or no choice, but I do have something to throw out that I found quite interesting.
I don’t have the stats, but I remember hearing somewhere about the percentage of homosexuals in the U.S. vs heterosexuals and that basically the homosexual groups are a very tiny minority with a very loud voice. I found it interesting. I just thought there were a LOT of homosexuals coming out of the closet, but it turns out that the group as a whole has just become much more vocal and is gaining leverage in some states for governmental decisions.
Just a “hmmmm…” nothing more.
My very dearest friend in college was gay. He came out on the front steps of my apartment building. I felt very proud that I was the first person that he shared his newly found sexual identity with.
I was always amused by the assumption that gay men are easily identified or categorized by their sexuality. John also had a fondness for plaid shirts and beer. I’m a hetro female but if we are using the current traditional female images as portraited in our media- I might not make the cut! I don’t look like any of women I see on prime time but it’s hard to slop cows and horses in tight jeans and high heels.
John never had a problem accepting who he was but he always felt it necessary to protect his very very devout Catholic parents from his life style. It wasn’t shame that prompted his decision but a need to protect two elderly people that might have had a hard time understanding how they had “failed” him.
John contracted AIDS in 1987. It was 8 months from diagnosis to death-he was allergic to just about everything they gave him. His parents were at his bedside when he died. His mother told her priest of 25 years that John would either be buried in a Catholic cemetary with an appropriate ceremnony or she’d become a Protestant.
He was.
What an awesome post.
I couldn’t bring myself to watch Elton John perform last night with Eminem. Definitely an all-time low for Elton.
And what would Eminem be without samples from truly talented artists? I hate the fact that he bastardized the lovely and talented Dido’s “Thank You” for his stupid song.
A friend of mine, who just turned 30, is dating a guy who is 23. He is from Iowa. He is incredibly hung up on the popular culture of his generation. My 30 year-old friend is apparently having a mid-life. They go out clubbing every weekend and have a “pre-party” at his house before they leave (things I did at 23, too). My 30 year-old friend is now using popular catch phrases like “in the day,” which is very Gangsta-inspired.
The first time we had dinner with them, I got on my soap box about the demise of society and how we celebrate a person like Eminem, who, to me, is talentless.
23 year-old spoke up and said, “I would disagree with that. He is really capable of writing awesome rhymes.” I replied, “you’re obviously easily impressed. How hard is it to write a rhyme? Average 4th graders do it every year as part of their English class.”
Rap music was originally a method of expression about life in the ghetto. And now it’s become more fashionable to talk about acts of violence. So either life in the ghetto has gotten really, really bad, or the rap genre has become it’s own living breathing ghetto.
I’m inclined to believe the latter.
Robby
The thing that upsets me the most are the kids my age who seem to think that “gay”, “queer”, “fag”, and “homo” are appropriate put downs. The thing that makes me most angry are the teachers that don’t even seem to care when these words are spoken in their classrooms. One of my fondest memories of this year was when a fellow student was told “WE DO NOT USE THAT WORD IN THIS CLASSROOM IN A NEGATIVE MANNER” after joking around with his friend and saying “You’re so gay.”
The funniest thing to me is that most of the people have friends who will one day be homosexual, or are already. And funny how most of the guys don’t have a problem with lesbians-in fact, it seems to be one of every single one’s fantasy! Strange… 
The media has portrayed homosexuals in such a negative manner up until recent years. It has shown them as being very different-and I think thats one of the big reasons why these homophobic comments are so prevalent.
My father is actually an Infectious Disease doctor, and most of his AIDS and HIV positive patients are homosexual. Thought that was rather interesting-especially since thats what I want to do!
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BobO:
And Hayden, do not get brain soaked by these bleeding heart … Your only gay if YOU say you are.
Good bye for now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
BobO-- I think I remember you from ages ago on the old Equisearch boards. No one’s trying to brainwash Hayden into being gey-- certainly, that’s the more difficult lifestyle choice in today’s society. We’re just trying to let him know that gay is just as viable an option as straight, and he should be happy with whatever he feels, and whoever he loves.
Obviously, he feels such pressure to conform to our society’s ideals of what a man is, what/who a man does that he has become very distressed. We are trying to help him realize that being gay is just another path life has for some of us, no better or worse than anyone’s elses.
You chastise us for being P.C… BobO, there’s a difference between being PC and simply being compassionate for someone who is struggling. We want Hayden to know that HE’S OKAY- regardless of who he loves. Obviously, society at large has provided him with so much information to the contrary that his health and well-being are in question. No one’s asking you to be a gay rights activist, but being humane and compassionate would be a start.
LML
MidWest/Chicago Clique
Cripple Clique
Jair I really appreciate what you said! Two of my best friends in the world are bi and I was the first person one of them came out to and she was terrified - even now hardly anyone knows and it’s very very hard for her. I’ve known people who were gay before - trainers - show people - but somehow when it’s my best friends I take everything people say a little more seriously - like people who use ‘gay’ or whatever as an insult - becuase it’s not! I once had to stand up and say that to a teacher who persisted in labelling people as ‘gay’ or ‘homos’ for things they said/wore and I just got so upset b/c it’s not fair for them to have to deal with that!
Anyways, thanks for posting what you did - hugs to you and I think it’s really cool you trusted us all enough to post that for us to read - I may print it out for my friends.
BTW good luck with Alice!!!
Sarah * AKA “Regal’s Person”
Okay, first the background. My school is having a school-wide “Beauty” project for the new IB program. For my Spanish 1 class, we were asked to cut out a picture of something that we considered beautiful-and then to write a few sentences about why it is beauty and how its related to spanish.
Well, seeing as it is a first year class, and I am seriously lacking in most grammer and vocabulary, I decided that the best thing to do would be to cut out a picture of Ricky Martin. I could say that he is very good looking, and that he is from Puerto Rico. That I could handle.
Well, we all taped our pictures onto large sheets of paper and posted them in the hallway. Today, I’m walking past the picture, and someone had written FAG across the front of it! It really made me angry. 
I am by no means a big Ricky Martin fan (Especially not that new song! Ick!) but I do think he’s good looking and I thought that would be a good picture to use! Some people… Ugh!
GURL!! We need to talk. Where is your sense of gay fashion? LOL!
Just kidding. I just had to flame out there for a minute. (I thought we needed some levity.)
Honestly, I admire you greatly Jair. The courage, strength and surety of self that post took is immense. The GL&TY need more role models such as yourself. (In fact all single gay horsemen need boyfriends such as yourself.) And ladies, it is just as hard for us to find attractive, nice single men in the horse world.
Now I have gotten way off topic.
You’ve made my day! YOU’RE MY HERO! I, too, have been struggling with my sexuality for what seems like forever (only a few years, in reality) and have often thought of suicide. You know what saved me? Horses. Yeah, I know that sounds chessy, but it’s true. Without them, I truly believe that I wouldn’t be here right now. Just to think about them now makes me smile and thank my lucky stars that they don’t care who I spend the rest of my life with. They were there for me with I “came-out” to my mom, and the rest of my family. They were there for me with my father rejected me as who I am as a person and told me that “this is just a phase.” They are going to be there when I “come-out” to my older brother this summer (he lives in Arizona right now and I don’t want to tell him over the phone). The point I am trying to make is that no matter what, horses will always love me for being ME. Not a fake person who can’t be herself because she’s afaird to. ( Which is what I would feel like if I couldn’t tell the horses in the barn that I am a lesbian.)
It took a lot of guts and courage to have said what you said, Jair, and I thank you with my all my heart. You’ve made me glad to be a part of this awesome BB and I am so glad to have the pleasure of meeting so many open-minded people here. Thank You, everyone!
" it’s not how long you are here, but what you do while you’re here." ( From “RENT”, hit musical from 1996.
Hope this makes sense Sorry for the rambling!
BobO. Aren’t we the self-righteous ones…
You’ve revealed yourself as one of those people that are smart enough to understand what political correctness is and how to incorporate it into your behaviour but you’re clueless as to the whys. I’d even go further to suggest, that you feel that you’ve somehow had to make some sacrifice in the name of being decent.
Well, here’s the deal Bob. The right of somebody else to express themselves is pretty fundamental (and is guaranteed by your country’s constitution). What’s more, it doesn’t cost you anything. You haven’t made any sacrifice.
And so I throw your question back at you, why do you care?
