The Ultimate Gay Pride Message

[ErinB]

I think, BobO, that if you take the time to understand the caring and compassionate attempt Jair made at helping an obviously self-doubting teenager, you will find the meaning behind his post to be very different from what you assumed. I’m sorry you don’t feel the same way as I do, because I’ve found this thread, and its precedents, to be very informative and they shined some much-needed light onto a misunderstood “taboo” subject.

Yes, you do have freedom of speech. So do Jair, Hayden, and everyone else involved. I noticed, also, that you sort of “bleeped out” the word “sex” in your original post. It isn’t a dirty word, and perhaps that is where the American public gets its fear of homosexuality in general. Perhaps if we actually made an EFFORT to understand it, we wouldn’t hate it, fear it, or find any dirtiness in it. What message are we sending kids like Hayden if we start censoring out such important issues? Just a thought.

Jair- You’re really cool, you know that?

:::Erin:::

[B.G.M_heidi]

1. He’s compassionate and warm;
2. He’s smart;
3. He’s open-minded;
4. He’s a brave and confident soul in a world that, at times, doesn’t want him to be;
5. He promised Alice to me.

I shall even forgive him his plaid shirt - dear, you are taking this Canadian lumberjack thing a tad too seriously.

[Jair]

Definitely no flames for you ClipClop

But I do disagree with you that being gay is a choice. As Spunky so eloquently put, its a choice whether you are true to yourself in terms of living your life the way you want.

As for choosing to be gay? In most cases I’d say no. I was born gay, nothing made me that way - I have two very straight older brothers who were brought up exactly the way I was - so how come they’re stratight and I’m not?

While I think there are instances of someone choosing to be gay, particularly in the case of abused women, who have suffered so horribly at the hands of men, that they turn to other women for comfort. Or for extreme feminists who choose to be lesbians because they just hate all men anyways - that has happened for sure. But from my experience, and the thoughts of my gay friends, none of us chose to be gay.

We did choose how we would live with it though, whether openly or closeted, or some middle road.

Why do you think its a choice ClipClop? I’m interested in your rationale.

(thanks Canter!! Maybe you shouldn’t go away again! )

[Heather]

I’d like to add my accolades to the others about Jair’s wonderful post.

In addition I’d like to take Jair’s words and DMK’s a bit further.

The teenage years are, as mentioned, a time of extreme upheaval. And “being different” is bad. I was a 6’0 tall, dark haired tomboy in a world of 5’0 blond barbie sycophants. I didn’t fit in at my high school in ANY manner. If I hadn’t had the wonderful example and friendship of strong, intelligent horsewomen I would have been crippled by the perception of everything that “was wrong with me.” I can only envision this feeling must be ten-fold for gay teens.

It is so, so important for young people who feel different and confused–for any reason–to be able to find an adult they can identify with and look up to as some one who has a happy, fulfilling life–who has “made it”, despite all the perceived “flaws” that the teen feels crippled by. I would urge everyone to reach out, or to allow themselves to be reached out to young people who need to see that they’re OK–in every sense of the word. If there is a kid at the barn or where ever that “reminds you of you when you were that age”, consider reaching out, to see if you can be beacon for them as the cross the rocky seas of adolescence.

[Jair]

You’ve got that right Portia.

[weeble]

You’re words are eloquent and from the heart and I’m sure a great help to many. You have my undying admiration for the way you communicated. your beautiful and positive message.

[Zaboobafoo]

This post definitely caught my eye…and how interesting it was to see all the different views of so many different people…its really encouraging that so many people are becoming open-minded…

Its such a closed-minded society we live in…always judging, discriminating…its such a fit to avoid being the “mold”, forced into what society wants you to be…and then you are so shunned when you are not.

I think the most important thing is just being comfortable with who you are. I have found my comfort level with who I am, not just as a person, but within my sexuality as well. I have walked both sides of the fence, and yes it is something I encourage others to do. I feel everyone should be true to themselves…let your urges guide you and realize there is NOTHING wrong with it. I find people attractive. Is that bad? I consider myself lucky…the world is a very beautiful, enjoyable place!

I don’t label myself. I just consider myself open minded…affectionate to those I love…and I follow what I feel. I’m TRUE to myself. And that is how society should be.

As for “pushing” gayness onto people…people don’t do things they don’t want to. I think as being sexuality attracted to the same sex becomes more and more accepted, people aren’t fighting it so hard. Its been in history for CENTURIES to have intimate relationships with someone of the same sex. Why do we play it as bad thing? The church is going to condem you for loving? How can acts out of love and passion be wrong?

I’m just a young girl growing up in a society where too many people don’t take the time to stop and understand and love…the world could be such a beautiful place if we’d stop passing judgement and feel with our hearts instead of rules…

[Duffy]

It’s an honor to be a part of this BB and to be friends with many of you.

[Everythingbutwings]

Both of you are extremely eloquent.

[Jair]

Wow. That was a beautiful quote. Thank you Jenn.

[BronkBusterTX]

I’m assuming Alice is a horse?

Anyway…

[BobO]

The Tag at the top of the page says FAQ and is for Freguently Asked Questions. My FAQ is Who cares.
This is a HORSE bb not a S.x BB.
To help a teen ager realize that there are straights I’ll play along. To help a 27 yr old whatever (I am not making a PC incorrect statement, I’m avoiding that) pat himself on the back I draw the line.
Go back into your closet or whatever. I don’t brag about my life don’t brag about yours. And be very sure you follow the rules of civil society that apply to ALL men and women when in public. I’m no prude but straight or other wise don’t flaunt it tastelessly.

[wtywmn4]

Guess you haven’t been around this BB very much BobO. Or you would have read some the very eloquent threads prior to this one!!! Jair is NOT back patting, but helping. Our society in general, is homophobic. So BobO does the shoe fit?

[Jair]

Thank you everyone

I wasn’t sure how my post would be reacted too, but I thought I should stick my neck out a bit for the younger members who may be struggling with this issue.

Thanks Beaner - while I don’t particularly like the queer word myself, that particular expression is actually a well known mantra within the gay community (I think Jack from Will and Grace says it a lot), plus, it rhymed

[Jumphigh83]

Leaving ALL mention of sexual orientation out of this…Why is it so hard to lend a helping hand or heart to someone who obviously needs it? BobO, I am shocked at your viewpoint…Not that you don’t have a right to feel anyway you want about this issue of gay straight whatever AND you have the right to voice the same on this BB or any other, you DID NOT have a right to completely humiliate and degrade a person, esp a kid, when he is asking for a little help and compassion. You don’t HATE the sinner, you hate the sin…Since you were being so militant I might add that a militant “anything” is offensive…esp one that has such a “holier than thou” attitude about what is and is not the correct way to live one’s life. I am really shocked at your point of view. And kind of sorry for you. You must be a lonely person standing alone out there on that tall pillar of moral superiority.

[Taryn1]

You just made me remember how much I miss all my sisters I had to leave behind in northern California. Know that you are loved even by those that have never met you!

Taryn

[A_Murray]

And a hug from me as well!!

Anne

[L_Scott]

I sent you a personal email, Jair, but wanted to say here that your message really hit home.

Thank you.

[B.G.M_heidi]

For those who assert that sexuality is a choice - I’d point out that, on that basis, it would and should be just as easy for you to choose to be gay.

[SoEasy]

Can I say that reading this thread actually makes me cry? I am so in awe of the strength and grace of our BB family.

And Jair, and Robby too@, I hope that you will both count me among your friends.