Tidbits from annoying but well-meaning new neighbor.

[Ruth0552]

I have a new neighbor. There are two apartments in the house, so it’s just him and us. He is retired, and very nice and well-meaning, but pushes the bounds on normal human interaction. If you believe everything he says, he was a tree trimmer that fell out of a tree and broke all the bones in his body and is now on social security. He does some work doing carpentry now, but overall does not have enough to do. Sort of hangs around, talking and talking, and talking… like, whenever we are outside. It’s totally possible that he had a TBI, and I’m trying to remain friendly and patient.

Him: If you ever need help with the horses, you know I used to have horses!
Me: Oh, really? What kind?
Him: Morgans and Chestnuts.
In My Head: Those are NOT two comparable categories.

Him: Oh, you don’t ride Western?
Me: Umm, no.
Him: Why not?
Me: I event.
IMH: WTF?

H: My daughter’s a big time horse trainer for all the big-wigs.
Me: Really? Does she do western (from previous conversation)?
H: Oh, she does EVERYTHING.
IMH: So basically she has NO idea about anything.

H: Oh I saw you riding, he rides so nice! How does the other one ride?
M: Mmmm, like hell actually. He has a nasty bolting issue.
H: Oh if I had a western saddle I bet I could fix that.
IMH: Well then you really have a TBI.
M: He’s actually older and has a bad hoof condition as well, so he is not ridden anymore.
H: (seems relieved that riding the best is not actually a possibility)

H: Do you have to burp him much?
Me: (blank stare) Umm. No. He’s a good boy.
H: That appaloosa my daughter had needed to be burped all the time, then she’d turn and bite you!

We gave him some squash, and now he keeps saying that he could cook some up for us, and that he could mow the lawn, fix our wheelbarrow, do I need help with my flower garden, etc. At one point he proclaimed we could share ingredients. He has four pots of plants that he brought with him. I have 10 squash plants, 20 tomatoes, 10 peppers, onions, herbs, etc. We are happy to give away our extra, but I have everything he has in pots. That’s not sharing. He also didn’t know what basil was, proclaimed my carrots to be parsley, and has had a garden since before I was born. In general, he thinks he knows everything, but basically doesn’t have a clue.

God give me patience. I know it could be much, much worse, but seriously. Just leave us the hell alone, and don’t touch the horses, the lawn, or the gardens.

[charismaryllis]

oh wow, this could get bad, quickly. i’d be being very very polite, but distancing myself.

[SmartAlex]

[QUOTE=Ruth0552;7702256]

H: Do you have to burp him much?
Me: (blank stare) Umm. No. He’s a good boy.
H: That appaloosa my daughter had needed to be burped all the time, then she’d turn and bite you![/QUOTE]

I was going to say let him weed the garden until he mixed up the carrots and the parsley… but really, how badly could he mess up mowing the lawn? We’ll expect a follow up on that one…

[cllane1]

IT guy fixing my computer a couple of weeks ago sees my screensaver of my horse doing a dressage test, asks if I ride (well, yeah, that’s me on him), and then proceeds to tell my how his brother-in-law has this horse that’s pretty famous because he’s been the lead horse in a couple of Civil War movies. I think he expected me to know who the horse was.

I slowly backed away…

[Ruth0552]

I’m thrilled to read your responses. I’m annoyed at the situation, but my sister thinks I’m being overly dramatic.

I’ve tried to think of some “projects” for him to do, but keep coming up blank. Other than chopping at brush at the side of the road or turning my manure pile, without a tractor.

The need to qualify for a mortgage and save for a down payment just went up exponentially.

[Ruth0552]

On the lawn mowing: My perennial gardens are on the borders of various parts of the lawn. I’ve lived here 8 years and the other apartment has been vacant for most of the 8 years so I’ve taken over all the gardens. I’m terrified he will either break the fussy old POS mower, or mow over a plant or a garden and proclaim that he “took care of all those weeds.”

There is a garden in front of his front door that we have beans in right now, since the apartment was empty, but plan to leave that area to him next growing season.

[Gloria]

What does that mean, to burp a horse? Scratching head…

[Gloria]

What does that mean, to burp a horse? Scratching head…

[Foxtrot_s]

When you say ‘we’ do you have a SO or girlfriend for a roommate. I’d be worried about him falling for you and then feeling jilted. If there is a male around he will hopefully keep his boundaries. Shame, really, because he is lonely.

[TBROCKS]

@Ruth0552;7702256

H: My daughter’s a big time horse trainer for all the big-wigs.
Me: Really? Does she do western (from previous conversation)?
H: Oh, she does EVERYTHING.
IMH: So basically she has NO idea about anything.

Around here, at open shows, they peanut-roll in a Western saddle, then change into a jacket and hunt cap and peanut-roll in an English saddle. Later on they might run barrels, all on the same horse. So maybe she does “do it all”.

This poor guy does sound a little TBI. I’d be kind, but set firm limits and soon. He probably won’t take offense at all if you do.

[twotrudoc]

Be careful! Sounds like my crazy ex neighbor, the one who wanted to borrow my BBQ “just while I was gone and not using it”. They also asked me to buy a house with two bedrooms so they could rent one of them, oh hell no!

[Inclined]

Sorry to sound unfeeling, but after seeing our very own “crazy neighbor” (who also seemed nice) arrested recently, keep your distance and be very careful.

[gottagrey]

How old is the fellow? and it sounds like he might have some mental issues - not crazy mental. Years ago I worked for an ophthalmologist -and most of our patients were geriatrics. One patient had had a stroke which left him w/ some speech impediment -slow speech/word formation. I vividly remember him thanking me for being so kind and patient with him… and that made me realize how he may have been treated by others… Something to think about when our patience is tried… all I can say is hang in there… but I wouldn’t let him mow or near the horses either.

[betonbill]

Couldn’t he just be lonely? Maybe most people sort of dismiss him or ignore him.

[Roxyllsk]

He sounds a little lonely and bored. And that he’s trying too hard to make conversation.

[ladyj79]

He sounds like every man I’ve ever met in a bar. They are all also equine experts as it turns out.

[Ruth0552]

LOL.

I am married so when I say “we” I am referring to myself and my husband.

He has a girlfriend who was here all last weekend, and unfortunately she smokes. He also has grown children, and his son, who seemed very normal, helped him move in. The girlfriend was very complimentary of the horses and asked if it was ok if she gave them treats occasionally. When I was talking to them and the neighbor came bounding out of the house they both seemed slightly embarrassed by what he said next. I forget what it was, but it was along the lines of the previous conversations.

I think he is harmless, no wait. I think he is fine, but could potentially be harmful unintentionally to the horses, just through thinking he knows things that he does not. So we are being polite and cheerful, but keeping a firm line of not accepting help with the horses, etc.

I think he has not enough to do, and is probably a bit bored and lonely. His best bud lives across the street (so this apartment was particularly attractive to him), but best bud just had a knee replaced so can’t come out and play.

There is definitely something not quite right- but whether it was a TBI or something else I wouldn’t know.

[2DogsFarm]

DON’T LET HIM MOW!!!
I speak from experience.

I too had neighbors who were nice but just left of center/NQR.
Once when my mower was in for service she offered to mow for me.
I asked that she wait until I was home so I could point out where I needed mowing.
Part of my acreage is a 1ac “meadow” that I had planted with perennials the year before.
Got home to find she had mowed the entire acre, including the 2nd year perennials, down to the ground but managed to mow a neat circle around a clump of iris. She had a zero-radius mower, so I knew it was her.
When I asked her she claimed “someone” with a JD tractor had done it.
If I could find a JD with that precision steering I’d buy it in a NY minute.

Turned out I could believe about 75% of things she told me.
The balance was pure fantasy.

[fatappy]

OP, are you my neighbor? Because we have the share this neighbor in common. I’m 2.5 years in and sooo done-zo with him I see him coming and I drop what I am doing and go in the house. I do my stalls early and plan my day around getting my stuff done so he doesn’t see my barn light on because that means he will come and talk. For hours!!

About how he (we will call him Tim) used to ride in TX and he was the only one who rode this horse “Blackie” because “Blackie” hated everyone except for Tim. “Blackie” would grab Tim by the shoulder blades and shake him. Also “Blackie” would run to the barn and no one could stop him so Tim would have to jump off from a running horse.

He also told me about how he and his wife rented some horses and went on a trail ride. While he was riding, his horse laid down with its legs up in the air. He could tell the horse had been worked too hard so he led it to the pond so he could drink. Then the horse thanked him and he knew it was grateful.

Also, he tells me how he sneaks out into my field so he can lay down with the horses. Apparently, they love it.

He also thinks that horses love having their faces rubbed the same way a dog does (think tussling with a dogs head). And where all their favorite spots are (he’s always wrong).

He also thinks that my crippled appy is the leader (she’s lowest on the totem pole). He also tells me when said appy is/ isn’t hurting (she has arthritis in both knees and stifle arthritis).

He also started feeding my horses treats (I do.not.feed.treats. I hate mouthy horses). Then I saw him feeding my dog a treat, realized what was happening and I went NUTS on him.

The weird thing is is that this man is brilliant. He speaks to foreign leaders about investment strategies.

He has helped me a lot over the past two years (I’m young, single, and don’t have all the power tools that he does). And I am grateful for that. But really, if I had known how many hours I would waste listening to his BS, I would have sooner used a chisel.

[laskiblue]

Oh boy, I had a neighbor like that for a few years in Michigan just before I moved to California. Well-meaning older gentleman, a little bit off, but I just attributed it to quirkiness. Turns out he was rather delusional and was making up and telling bizarre stories to the neighbors about me and about my friend who lived around the corner and was renting a house from him. We only found out about this later after I moved away and my friend had to move from the rental property because the house was being sold due to the neighbor’s downturn in health. The neighbor’s wife clued my friend in about the big picture at that time. I’m certain if either of us had known about it while it was happening, we would have moved immediately.