[QUOTE=famjack02;7421661]
Lady E: Thank you for your honesty 
I appreciate the sound advice. He is the best for coming back from the injury and I truly dont want or need a crazy WB in my life anymore.
I rode for my years upper level dressage ( back home in germany) and was used to a: make the horse do what he needs to do approach within the facet of classical training including in hand work.
HOWEVER: THIS IS NOT WORKING WITH THIS HORSE, now basically i feel like a fish out of the water not knowing what else to do because my knowledge is all the dressage stuff, the in hand work and working with horses with temper tantrums.
From what I was told, he was used as an athletic equipment:
born on a very well know performance ranch, sold at 2
sold again and again and again. The last 3 owner had him at trainers and dumped him back into the pastures, the very last owner was 14 year old that injured him badly with a high port bit. He has a low palette, small mouth, fat tongue and the Vet at the purchase exam showed me the raw spots on his palette - i was horrified.
With him i feel like i’m relearning horsemanship all over again. Its very humbling.
The reason for the trainer is that she is very very conservative in her approach of training, never a harsh pull but consistency, he learned contact within the last 3 month where understandably he was horrified before etc.
She only rides him because i’m not cleared for riding. My vertebrates are still not healed, reason it hurt pretty bad as he jumped and i wasn’t prepared. ( my mistake i should have never got on him)
as i bought him, he has NO IDEA what treats are. Refused carrots,apples and anything out of my hand. he is now very food motivated :eek: lol clicker training and TT looks like a good fit. I like CA but it might be to harsh on him, he is very sensitive ( not in spooky ) introvert, slow,steady with him seems to work better…he is an ASK ME WITH RESPECT Horse vs a tell him what to do ( which was the only horses i ever had) Learning curve for me.
I appreciate all of your advice. it puts things into perspective.
THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH 
keep your ideas coming on how i can help this guy. I think i will print this out and remind myself of all the sound advice you guys give me when i get discouraged :)[/QUOTE]
OK, the fact that you’re most familiar with German type horses and training speaks volumes. One piece of this picture may be that QH’s are far more the “cooperative, work with me” type than the type you “dictate” to. If started Western as it sounds like this guy was, they are also very, VERY sensitive to seat and leg aids and are used to cues pretty much 180 degrees off of what classical riders use. Bending around your inside leg, how to use his body, his “wheelbase” in turns and circles and ESPECIALLY accepting contact (worse if he’s been hurt) are going to be totally mystifying to him.
No wonder the poor little guy’s “shut down.”
First thing you need to do is that groundwork everyone’s mentioned. I’m not into the “clicker” thing, but one way or another he needs to learn that you are his FRIEND and protector and not just another person out to inflict pain. Talk to a GOOD Western equitation rider or buy a book or good explanatory video, because you’re going to have to “translate” what he knows of those aids into the “new language” of classical aids you’re trying to teach him. Expect that to take several years! However, if you won’t be showing, just riding for pleasure, you might find learning to speak HIS first language a viable option also.
What NOT to do: Lots of heavy driving seat, legs that grip and never release, hands that demand contact without softening to reward. Not accusing you of any of that, just saying. I’m writing this not just for you, OP, but others who might find themselves in similar circumstances.
When you can get on, pick up the reins and mentally ask, “How would you like to be ridden?” Be light, be as sensitive as he is, and try to be correct for what he knows. Praise him with your voice and a stroke of your hand when he’s right and you’re going to see his ears wiggle! They are very, VERY smart! I’m guessing you’ll be on the same page before you know it.
If you TRULY are only happy on one of those big-moving WB’s, however, PLEASE sell this nice sound, safe, sane fellow to an older pleasure rider who is desperately seeking exactly what he is. You aren’t going to make him into that WB no matter how hard you try, and you’ll frustrate the both of you trying.
One more thought: 25 years ago I was also a “fire-eater” who’d ride anything with a back to sit on, especially if they were cheap and I thought I could “straighten them out.” I evented, hunted side-saddle, did all manner of things that made my friends think I was “fearless.” Then one day, I was 35 and things hurt and just having a friendly soul who wasn’t challenging me half to death, with whom riding was not a death-or-glory proposition each and every time, started to feel really, really good. I started to buy the horses I needed NOW instead of one like I had 25 years ago. And that is totally O.K.!
Another factor is you mention you have a little girl. If your horse is safe for her to learn on, but still fun for you, you have something PRICELESS.
Happiness is found when we want what we have. :yes:
being cool as a cucumber <---- and this is why i bought him, i was tired and i honestly think, as hard as it is, he might just will make me a better horse person,a better rider.