I’d sell him. If you’ve owned him for a year and haven’t developed any kind of connection, you probably never will. Lots of nice horses out there, look for one that both suits your needs AND makes you happy with that connection you’re seeking.
I grew up around QH’s, even the local grade horses were mostly QH. In my experience, tempermentally, QH’s and sporthorses (including & esp. TB’s) are apples & oranges, nothing like each other.
Traditional ranch-work and show QH’s are selected and trained for their complete receptiveness to the rider’s slightest command - not for their initiative. The QH’s I’ve known come across as color-less compared with the average self-centered TB. They wait for you, and if you don’t contribute to the conversation, that’s ok, too. They seem passive, if gentle. It’s the comparison that makes this stand out. They do have distinct and engaging personalities, but it takes time to warm them up and encourage their self-expression. Their default is to hang back, watch and wait.
If you will never be happy with a temperament so laid-back the horse might as well be asleep, you may not ever connect with your current horse. But if you are ready for a different flavor and can be patient, and do some of the ground work and other connection-exercises mentioned here, you will be well-rewarded. Trail riding over more challenging problems, getting into more interesting environments that would freak a TB/WB may give you a richer experience and tell you more about your horse.
I don’t know you and your horse well enough to know if you should keep on with him, or not. I think it is really up to your interest in significantly expanding your horizons with a type of horse that is different from all the horses you are likely to choose in the future. No right or wrong answer … it’s your life and your ride.
Right this. A horse that doesn’t take as much initiative, that waits on your command, is easier and safer. Perhaps also less interesting to someone who is used to something else. But over time you can really grow to appreciate this special magic of a horse that is not so self-absorbed, that thinks you are more important than he is.
Very nice idea.
[QUOTE=Lady Eboshi;7422152]OK, the fact that you’re most familiar with German type horses and training speaks volumes. One piece of this picture may be that QH’s are far more the “cooperative, work with me” type than the type you “dictate” to. If started Western as it sounds like this guy was, they are also very, VERY sensitive to seat and leg aids and are used to cues pretty much 180 degrees off of what classical riders use. Bending around your inside leg, how to use his body, his “wheelbase” in turns and circles and ESPECIALLY accepting contact (worse if he’s been hurt) are going to be totally mystifying to him.
No wonder the poor little guy’s “shut down.”
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Happiness is found when we want what we have. :yes:[/QUOTE]
Well said.
And yes, there are western trainers who rather do shut the horse down, purposefully or not. Once a horse has internalized that lesson, it takes time for a horse to learn that it’s ok to express themselves. And they may always tend to return to the passive quiet mode, because their early lesson was that this is what works.
Be patient. I’ve had plenty of horses (all different types- ponies without a hitch, previously abused nervous wreck Arabians, Thoroughbreds off the track, Paints, etc.) and while some of them I was able to quickly bond with enough to have a good partnership (and some I didn’t truly bond with, but kept a good working relationship), it doesn’t always happen that way. I think the ones that are easy to bond with are the more affectionate, humorous types (like my 5 yr old OTTB). However, my absolute favorite horse to ride that I have the BEST relationship with took me THREE YEARS to bond and really click with. Three years. He is now almost 17 years old and after almost 7 years together, we are better than ever! Yes I was able to ride him since the day I bought him, but he is quirky, tricky, sensitive, and not the biggest fan of being fussed over. Doesn’t come up to you in the pasture, occasionally walks (or runs) away from me in the field, never malicious but not exceptionally personable, dislikes any sort of grooming except a soft brush on his face, and just would rather either work or go be a horse (whereas my sweet 5 yr old just wants all of your attention). He is an OTTB. Best work ethic I’ve ever seen, incredibly athletic, great at his job, but still, it took me years to really click with him. And I’m STILL learning what he really likes, but I feel that makes the relationship fun and exciting after years together. In the first couple years I wouldn’t have told you he’d be “the best horse ever” for me, but I kept working at it. Had I given up on him after a year, or two years, or even at some trying times five years in, I would have missed out on having the horse of a lifetime.
Give it more time. Figure each other out. Especially for a horse that’s been shuffled around so much, he needs to know that you’re a constant. Unless it’s an unsafe match between the two of you or a serious mostly hate relationship, give it time and more work. 
I adore my sensitive boy.
I am late, but I would like to offer another vote for “do not sell just yet.”
This may sound crazy, but is there any chance you could take him camping, when weather improves?
One of the biggest milestones I experienced with our horse was, when we went on a weekend camping trip with some people from our barn. We did several others, but the first one was THE ONE.
I will admit, he has never been aloof, but our connection improved so much that I dare to recommend it to everyone.
I have also heard it quite a few times from other people, that going camping and having that kind of 24/7 dependence on each other has a great power to transform relationships.
Good luck with your guy! He sounds like a lovely animal.
