We had a little girl who could be kind of scatterbrained and tended to forget courses a lot at home, so at her first show ( a typical hunter show with typical hunter jumps) her trainer went over the course and wanted the girl to tell it back to her using descriptions. For example the coop with the wagonwheel standards to the brick wall. So the trainer asks the girl what her first jump was and she replied, “the wooden one” (every jump in the ring was wooden)
Same kid, same show was looking remarkably calm for a child with horrible show nerves and trainer commented on it. She told them that she was not scared any more because trainer could be in the ring with her for one of the classes. When trainer looked puzzled the kid said, “you know the us class that means you and me. so we can both be together right?” It took a few minutes to figure out she meant the under saddle class U/S :lol: Things were never boring with that girl
I know a little girl like that! I was with her for her first crossrail class at a little local show. All the poles had on stripe in the middle, and each jump was made of two poles with the same color stripe. So I went thru the course with her, and said "first the blue stripes, then right to the red, " and so on. When I asked her to tell me where she was going first she replied “The striped one.”
How about, from a 15 yr old girl, a “F*** OFF!” (yank, kick, smash with crop) as LOUD as can be right up against the rail in front of a bunch of munchkins, parents and, funnily enough, the show steward, as a bid for the top ten?
I’ve witnessed soooo many brain-dead actions but I’m at lost for a better quote than that right now!
The purse holder in the porta potty comment is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while!!!
This is more cute than anything else, but I had to share:
I was at a local county fair years ago, and was waiting with my gelding for a 2’ class to start. A crossrail class was in progress, and next to the rail was a probably a 4 year old boy shouting at a small pony (who was whizzing around the course) along with his father.
Small boy (at the top of his lungs): ‘GO GO GO!!!’
Observant father: ‘Son, I don’t believe this is a timed event’
Parents…
Both of my parents are very non-horsey. Usually they are smart enough to keep their mouths shut, and I’ve even managed to teach my mom some helpful things (for example wiping off boots and such at shows). One day I flip open my mom’s phone and as the screensaver is a picture of a horse and rider. One of my good friends. I say “Uh mom, why is Rachel on you phone” She goes “What? That’s you!”
Um, no. That’s Rachel who is 12 riding a 14.2 hh chestnut paint with two blue eyes. I’m 17 and ride a 16.2 hh chestnut warmblood cross. Um, no mom that really isn’t me. :lol:
Needless to say she changed it really fast :yes:
[QUOTE=Dance_To_Oblivion;3555505]
" Your horse looks great! He’s gained some weight! (Pause) So have you!".[/QUOTE]
I had the reverse from my trainer.
I had had a tummy bug for the past 5 days, and did not eat anything for 4 days, and was up-chucking a lot blah blah blah. Anyways, WAs winter, so I had layers on - singlet, long sleeved shirt, polo shirt, and a thermal vest, and she said “You look much better now you’ve lost weight!” :eek: :no: 
I was so sad! I didn’t say anything, but my mum said something, not sure what, but she got a sorta guilty look 
Young girl (13-14) hits her crotch very hard on the pommel of her saddle after getting an awkward distance in the level 3’s or 4’s… and rides by the gate calling to her friends and trainer,
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to have babies.”
Awwwww… this is kinda sweet and sad… or I am just PMS’ing badly…
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A few years ago we took a horse to a local C show to schoola horse who was very young and needed just to get OUT and see the world… was headed to be an eq horse. Paid a schooling fee, paid to get to show unjudged. So Amy goes in and trots the course. Everyone gets really quiet :lol: she goes back in for her next round and one of the show moms comes over to me and whispers “you know… unless she canters, she’s not going to get a ribbon”. I say thank you, I understand, but that she is not being judged, just came to school and the horse needs to just trot around right now. She is now falling over herself, thinking I am missing some bit of vital information. She says “the judge is right there, watching her”. I said no, he’s not watching her, she’s not being judged. Amy comes out of the ring, pats the horse, tells him he’s a good boy and walks away. The show mom is now about to stroke out… tells me “you don’t understand. This is a SHOW”. I looked at her and said No… for this horse, this is a SCHOOL. When he SHOWS, it will be at a A show. And then he will canter.
She walked away, shaking her head and muttering… I was shaking too, with laughter :lol: The gate person had overheard the whole thing and was about to pee her pants laughing, too.
My non horsey hubby like to call the ring the “rink”. Silly boy!!
A filly that we bred as a race prospect turned out to be about the worst, short mover I had ever seen. She was a sweet little filly, tried really hard to do the right thing, was very easy to work with, never did anything wrong, but with about a 10 foot stride and high knee action like she should be a hackney pony at full speed, her prospects as a racehorse were severely limited. I broke her, and trained her a bit as a two year old, but with her action and the concussion that her feet hit the ground, her shins became swollen and sore, and I felt it was only a matter of time until she did further and more substantive damage due to her way of travelling, even after the shins were set. Not a horse that I wanted to continue with in this career. Took her home to the farm, let the shins cool out on R & R for a few weeks.
I figured she would probably jump pretty well with that action, but any A circut rider/trainer was going to be put off by her knee action and short stride. But her attitude was great as a show prospect. So I priced her very cheap, $1000, and put her up for sale.
A buyer came to look at her, and liked her. Wanted a prospect to ride and train. Got the vet out to do the “prepurchase exam” (for a $1000 horse???). The vet arrived, and we got on with the exam. On the lunge line, to check her for soundness, she chopped around with her high knee action, sound. The vet remarked to the buyer, “Yes, she certainly IS a FANCY mover, a real high stepper”. Now, I am not a religious person, but I did thank the Lord at that moment, to send me a veterinarian who thought this was nice movement, as well as a buyer. Then the same vet told the buyer that she would have to rub liniment into the shins every day for a year. The buyer was a bit concerned about that, but I told her that it was not necessary, since the shins were cold and the horse was sound. So she bought the horse, and was happy.
Several years later, I saw a young “warmblood” selling at one of those warmblood auctions they have. There was my filly’s name as the dam, with “XX” after it. LOL gotta luv those inspections those people do. So thorough and critical.
This one is my own…but when I was about 7 or so (maybe younger…) I was at horse camp and they had and end-of-session horse show. One of the older girls was riding in short stirrup. I asked her what classes she was doing and when she replied ‘short stirrup’ I proceeded to ask her just how she was planning on putting her stirrups.
my daughter rides a small pony in the regular division. My dad (her grandfather) comes to shows to watch regularly. Like most non horsey people he thinks we are crazy getting to shows at 7am to groom the horse and then waiting around until we are “up”…So anyway at her first show in the regular smalls he walks up while the trainer is talking with my daughter and says…“did you get up early and brush your horses teeth?!” cracked my daughter up!!!
I have to share this sweet one I heard a few weeks ago…
A BNT used to date a lovely man who worked at the East Coast shows doing all sorts of jobs. He was employed for nearly three years when some clarified that the signs stating “No Lunging in the Arena” did not mean that people were prohibited from making sudden, forward movements towards horses.
Ok, so this was an event, not a hunter show but I had to share…
I brought along one of my students to watch and absorb the experience to see if this might be something she would like to do. She is coming from a hunter barn that does a lot of low, low level hunter shows and while I am a supporter of the discipline my two school horses are not going to do well in that venue nor am I really familiar enough with the rules (written and unwritten) to make it an easy experience for her to do them with me so I want to expose her to some events so she can see if watching XC makes her excited or sick to her stomach…
Anyway, to the point, I was going through my course and there was a bank and I said, mostly to myself, “ok, jump up, one forward stride, jump off…” and she looked at me and said “aren’t you going to get a lot of time penalties if you have to get off your horse?” I just about wet myself and plan on teasing her about it (good naturedly) forever
Of course, another young girl at the barn recently had to go to the bathroom so she walked up to the porta-potty on site and got off her horse and told him to “stay”…needless to say there was a horse galloping up to the barn a split second later…ahh those moments in youth that you’ll never live down
My most memorable horse show faux pas (to the point that people still talk about it 4 years later) was in my first 6 bar! I was so freaking relieved to land off the last jump, that I forgot to turn right away & we only had 3 strides before the turn. When I got myself together, I pulled on the rein & NOTHING! My mare was a freaking freight train & headed straight for the tent. I gasped out, “ohmygod I can’t turn”, the photographer dove out of the way, & then I registered that people were diving quite quickly out of my way too. Yep, into the tent we went (I think Ellie really just wanted some of the BBQ) :eek: Then, to add insult to injury, when I tried to back out, I got my head stuck on the top supporting pole & almost knocked myself off my horse…and sigh…it IS all on video! :sadsmile:
Eclipse, would it be too much to ask for you to post the video?! Pretty please?
Oh, Eclipse, please do!
Please please please???
[QUOTE=palmettoshorty;3568246]
While at her first show, my cousin needed to use the restroom, so I walked with her to find the portapotties. I waited for her to finish, and when she came out she announced; “Wow! That’s a really nice portapotty! It even has a sink.” I replied saying “There’s no sink in that portapotty”. I guess she figured it out because I’ve never heard anyone scream “ewwwww” so loudly.[/QUOTE]
I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but with all the port-a-potty comments, I have to add mine…
I used to think that was an “arm rest” until one time when I rested my arm on it and it was all wet. Talk about “eewwwwww!!”
This is a great thread… it has made me laugh out loud several times!!!
The best comment made to me at local schooling show was “You need to let him go more forward by altering your posting.” The judge was correct and that would have been great, except I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and couldn’t extend the post that far. I did try though! Truely I looked rather like a large beach ball on the horse.
Sigh…let me see what I can do! Athough if any of you are in Alberta I do believe it made Denis’ video blooper tape for the year end!
