[QUOTE=ef80;3877649]
Hillariously enough, at a tiny tiny schooling show I overheard a rather prim and proper trainer say to a student in the warm-up ring “Don’t be so demure up there”. When the student said “What’s that mean?” her little sister trots by and rather crassly pipes up with “He means stick that big ole ass of yours out.” I don’t know who was more mortified, the trainer or the older sister.[/QUOTE]
:lol: :lol: :lol: Out of the mouths of babes…
I’m still trying to get a hold of Denis. I’m hoping he’ll be at the show at the end of the month & yes, I’m definatly going to ask him for it!! :lol:
OMG don’t feel bad, I thought the same thing! Thank goodness I never said it out loud. :lol:
We had a pony at a show once and a local “trainer” was interested in him. After watching him go, she commented that his coat was so shiny and asked what I used to get it that way. I told her I used elbow grease and she said “Oh, elbow grease. Where can I buy that?”. I tried not to laugh, really but she was so clueless (in every way). Not the first person to ask me that question either!
Another “trainer” is standing ringside watching one of our other ponies go in the children’s. He is green and tends to raise his head on a forward distance. She tells me we should really show him o/f in a running martingale instead of the standing to stop that :eek:.
[QUOTE=Giddy-up;3558388]
Dang…my jumper did a 1 in the 2 this summer & I was completely horrified embarrassed. I never thought to consider it as “extra credit”. Hmm…:lol:[/QUOTE]
this reminds me -once I had just finished riding in the 1st round of a classic and I thought it was a nice round, so I’m walking out of the ingate smiling. My score is announced (65, to my surprise!), and my trainer looks at me and says just loud enough for everyone to hear: “the judge usually does not look kindly on leaving out strides.” I was mortified! :lol:
On the bright side, I guess everyone else was having a bad day too-I made it to the 2nd round (and got 5th!)
Or the time that I was being really handsy over the jumps and she said “I will never tell you to do this again but pleaseee just plant your hands on his neck and stop trying so hard.”
One day I heard a girl who had been told by the show vet that her horse needed stall rest asking her trainer what stall rest meant…
An oldie but goodie…I’m just surprised there are only 16 pages. 
Well, since the thread’s been resurrected:
I’m standing at the in-gate of a local show, waiting for my trip in a pleasure division which my horse and I were filling for my kid sister. My horse was showing in the equitation division later and was in a pelham bridle at the time. A fellow rider walked up to me, pointed at the bit, and said, “You can’t do that.”
I figured she was objecting to a pelham in a pleasure class, but it wasn’t against the association rules, despite not indicating that my horse is as pleasurable as he is. “Do what?”
She pointed to the curb rein. “Show your horse in draw reins.”
Variations on the theme of “Uh, ma’am…” did not produce results. The woman got quite flustered and ended up yelling, “It is dangerous to jump a horse in draw reins and I am going to report you to the steward!” Which she did. In the interest of maintaining harmony, I waited patiently for the steward to ascertain (while laughing) that my pelham was a pelham before walking into the ring.
Ended up that we won the class, despite the “draw reins.”
Had a local loud-mouthed yahoo trainer years ago, come up to me at a halfway decent schooling hunter show that she hauled her kids up to. (Think too large saddles, kimberwickes, peanut-rolling halter type QH’s, & kids w/no approved headgear, etc) She knew me from being local, and I was there, watching my kids go, standing close by to a well-known trainer from Camden.
Loudmouth comes up to me and asks “Why didn’t my riders place in the last class?” First off I was hoping she wouldn’t approach me (no luck there), so I simply replied, “Well, these are basic walk trot & wtc classes. They are judged on correct diagonals & leads. Your kids blew them both ways.” To THIS, she says “Diagonals & leads don’t count!” OK, lady, if you say so, then really, WHY the hell did you ask me if you already knew the answer to your question??? Grrr…
oh I have SOOOO many…
The first is all from one trainer. I was off on maternity and she had several of my old students at a show. They had asked me to come to the show because they were not comfortable with this trainer. Her idea of a lesson was “good, good, missed your spot, good, good…”
So I show up in time to watch the hack. One of my students wins it. The stay in for the flat. The same girl who one the hack is now sitting leaning WAY left. I mention something to trainer ONLY because we had previously had that type of a relationship and she had 5 kids in one class. Just a simple " hey Suzie is leaning left" (as she is going directly away from the judge). This trainer looks at her and says “oh she is fine” :eek: I later mention something to rider who says " I thought I was too but the trainer said I looked fine!"
To this same student. “I say hey your Zock is showing” Trainer says “it’s a hunter class it doesn’t matter”
So then I am watching a children’s pony round. The kid was on a pony I had trained. Kid is CRAWLING over the jumps, landing, pulling as hard as she can on the outside rein so horse is counter flexed as much as possible…this results in horse swapping her lead to the WRONG one, attempting to fix it herself and ends up cross cantering around the ring…Trainer looks at me and DEMANDS " Why is she doing that?" So I told her " the pony is counter flexed and going to slow. It is physically impossible for her to have the correct lead." I get “she is going fast enough and that shouldn’t matter! Why is the pony swapping her leads?”
THEN she tries to put her own child on a clients horse in the 2’3" section. Her child had shown in the 3’6" jumpers on the "A"s. It clearly states in our prize lists AND in the rule book that if you have shown 3’ and over you can not show in anything other then green in our "C"s. “A” trainers that are at the show with younger riders call her out on it and trainer says “they were just picking on her and her daughter”…ummm no it’s called following the rules…
THEN AGAIN she sends her adult who is at her first show EVER out to the warm up ring (this is an indoor show)…the adults class goes in, rider is not there because trainer had gone back to the barn to make a sandwich, sit, and talk. They call rider over the PA wondering if she is going to join the class…trainer looks at ME and says " where is she?" in a panic!
Not to mention that in her attempt to “help” fill the pony medal class she was going to put her daughter in on a school pony being shown by a client (daughter was eligible to ride in that at least. The problem would have been that the CLIENT was going to already be riding on that same pony in the same medal…luckily they found some one else to fill it and no one was disqualified…
PS this woman is a “national” level trainer…or so she is advertised…I am pretty sure that means she took her own kid to pony finals a few times…
“You’ll either win trying to be the winner, or lose trying to be the winner.”
o.O
And now this is all recent from a trainer I get to work with weekly at a barn I teach out of.
Back ground. We have three show circuits here. One is a glorified schooling show used by most as a stepping stone to our “C” “B” and Pony shows. The “C” “B” and pony is used by most as a stepping stone to the “A” and “AA”. The “C”/“B” circuit is filled with trainers who ALSO show on the "A"s with their riders. the first one…not so much. This trainer has been telling her students that the first is more competitive because they use all the retired “A” show horses. I am thinking "okay but we have the actual “A” trainers… ANYWAYS
They come home from a show “Wow this was a huge show, there were 85 riders! One class even had 15!”
From one of her riders " As long as I get my spots I know I will place"
ME: " you mean strides, spots, and leads, right."
HER: " No just as long as I get my spots"
Same students : “I qualified for my mini maclay!”
ME: “Congrats! How many were in the class?”
Her: “There were 5. But I am just using it for practice for the “A"s next year”
Me: " Well good job that’s great!”
Her: " Well I know there might be a few more on the “A"s next year but it will be just like this!” ( ps I think this class was 2’6…)
Trainer to ALL her students " Dig your heels in, your horse will not listen unless you dig your heels in!"
To rider who is going to “Finals” the next week " I think lead changes are blowing your mind. You have finals next week so we will work on leads AFTER that."
Demonstrating the difference between 2pt and half seat : “this is a half seat” ( shows normal 2 pt) " this is a 2 pt" (Shows throwing your self up the neck and laying on it with all your upper body.)
Rider jumps before horse, horse stops. " That’s ok. I saw you jump the horse just decided not to go with you" :eek:
And finally teaching a rider to grip with her knee ( subjective I am not getting in to that.) “Your heel isn’t going down because you are not holding with you knee.” two seconds later…“Dig your heel in!”
Ok I am done!
Trainer I used to work with had a brain-fart once. Her rider came off the last line of a nice course. Trainer begins clapping, forgetting there is still a single fence left. Thankfully, rider remembered the course, finished nicely, and got a good ribbon.
Same trainer, different student. Student’s brain-fart this time. Student was a very good rider, very smart, and had been showing for years.
First course was typical outside - diagonal hunter course. Nice first round. Trainer: “OK, second trip is the same course just backwards.” (Meaning start on the other outside, right?)
Student proceeds to jump the course exactly backwards. Beginning with the high side of an oxer. She got called off-course, came out and trainer asked her what she had been thinking.
Student: “You said jump it backwards.”
Trainer: “Did it occur to you that the flowers were on the wrong side?”
Student: “Oh, yeah…”
“See-saw on his mouth, will you?! This isn’t a freaking dressage test, all I want is his head down and his toes pointing!!” :eek:
That said, the trainer wasn’t brain dead from being at a show, just probably brain dead in general…
the 2’6 jumpers… Trainer from the side of the ring as student is galloping hell bent in the jump off “forget the lead just gallop! You’re winning!”
The worst is when you overhear trainers telling parents that their horse is no good and so-and-so would be “doing the 3’6” right now if she was on a different horse"… especially when the “trainer” doesn’t have one rider showing over 2’9", or any rider showing successfully at all. Completely taking advantage of a parent with the $$ to sell pony and buy a packer.
[QUOTE=Pokey;3555139]
this is more of a brain dead rider/owner story…
I was a groom for a very wealthy family - they built a barn for two of their very spoiled adult kids. They bought old campaigners from all over Canada and Europe, for these two kids to learn and show on. One in particular was an 18 year old warmblood gelding that had been everywhere, had done everything, and won tons. He was basically a point and go grand prix horse that went around like an Eq horse doing the medals.
So we go to a show at the Kentucky Horse Park, and the man-boy goes into a high a/o jumper classic in the indoor. Proceeds to wobble his way around the course on the poor old campaigner who’s doing his best to sort out where in the hell the man-boy would like him to go, when man-boy proceeds to run him THROUGH a standard (horse never saw the jump coming). Giant bleeding gash down the poor horses face, and the man-boy pulls him around to reprimand him for not jumping, when he gets buzzed out. So we get the horse back to the barn, there’s blood pouring out the horses face, and we call for the vet. The man-boy is nowhere to be seen (he hopped off outside the ring and walked away without a second glance). Vet gives this poor old horse a healthy dose of rompum (sp?) to do the stitches, and the horse is swaying on the cross ties, feet splayed out, and we are literally trying to hold him up (to much dosage for an old horse I guess). Vet just finishes up, when the man-boy comes ambling in, walks up the the swaying horse (who happens to be a known biter - quite the carnivore), pats him on the face where the stitches are, and says, “Hey - I think he’s starting to like me! Look, he’s not even trying to bite!” And leaves. He never notices the stitches, never notices the swaying horse, never says a word about any of it.[/QUOTE]
I was really hoping that this story would end with man-boy turning into a she-male when Dobbin took a nice healthy chunk right out of his twigs and berries. Alas twas not to be 
This wasn’t at a show, but I had just finished schooling a kid’s mare and she asked me where Troy, the horse I rode for a couple years was. I told her he’d sold in May. She asked why I didn’t buy him myself. And so it went:
Me: “I can’t afford a horse.”
Her: “So ask your mom, that’s what I did.”
[QUOTE=AndNirina;3556267]
A few weeks ago this was overheard being screamed across the lower arena from one show mom to her daughter’s trainer:
“The pony should be ready to go, we lunged her for half an hour and she’s had her shot of Dex!”[/QUOTE]
I swear I’ve read this on this board months ago. I’m shocked every time!
[QUOTE=Trevelyan96;3558435]
Hah! I’ve got the best one… Professional riding my horse for the year end Green Hunter championship. Does her first round… beautiful. 2nd Round… goes off course (rides the 1st course again)… comes out of the gate and says “OK… lets I think we’ve got a little time before we go in for our 2nd round”. ARRRGGHHHHHH! Luckily, the next closest horse for the division had a bad day, so we won it anyway… but jeez… what was she on? He was the only horse she was riding that day, so can’t blame it on a hectic schedule.[/QUOTE]
How does an off course place over a sloppy course? 
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