Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.

[Equilibrium]

A pretty well known trainer here said to my trainer when he was on Abba at her very first show, “some horses just aren’t worth it.”

A little over a month later same trainer, " nice blood mare, when did you get her?"

As I’m there this time I snootily say, “it’s the same mare you thought was useless a month ago.” Since I am my mare’s groom at shows I’m sure he thought, some cheek on that hired hand. And ok Abba’s first show was not her best showing. Big indoor with small indoor warm up and she was so busy trying to keep an eye on all the other horses she may have jumped through a wing.

At a show this summer. I was watching a friend’s horse jump and my mare was standing waiting to go in. Trainer said something to me I didn’t hear. I did hear one of the other trainer’s say, “can’t get the help anymore”, to which my pleasant trainer says, “yeah tell me about it”. But to my rescue comes another trainer who says, " you don’t understand, she owns the horse and pays him." Other trainer says, " love you do know there are other trainers out there who would actually treat you a little better for paying your bills."

Some person asked me if my mare was by a TB. No she’s out of a TB. Reply, why would you do that? No reply from me but I did wonder if someone from the COTH breeding board had made their way to Cavan that day!

Terri

[kmwines]

Not a particularly dumb comment but a generally dumb move overall…
So when I came home for the summer, I agreed to work the gate at the local h/j show I used to show with. I was at the “pony” ring and had everything from trainers showing greenies in 2’3" to ponies. Well after a break to set jumps and a drag I tried to get the judge on the walkie to see if she was ready to go but couldn’t get an answer. So I headed up to her booth to see if there was a problem and lo and behold one of the trainers is standing there with her, maybe 10 year old, 2’ rider demanding to know why she hadn’t been placed. I absolutely couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to go up there in the first place while the show was still going but much less to take the child up there. Judge later said that she would have been more than happy to talk to them after the show and only held back on telling the trainer off because the child was there.

[Naina78]

Not at a show, but it still makes me shake my head in disbelief.

Several years ago, I did some volunteer work with a local 4-H club. Quite a bit of it was showing the kids how to clean tack, groom, and whatnot, but as I’m a petite adult (4’11"), I often got on a misbehaving or hot pony to sort them out. So one afternoon, I’m on this little monster of a pony who’s trundling around the arena, and cursing out whoever trained him under my breath. Into the ring comes L., a teen who all the 4-H moms say is the ‘superstar’ of the club. Now, I’ve met her, she’s a nice kid (about 14), seems to know what she’s doing - on the ground. This is the first time I’ve seen her ride, and she’s taken out a pretty gray Arab gelding named Fury.

The pony I’ve been working has settled down and listened, so I let him take a break and steer him into the center to watch L. ride.

She’s got Fury in a Kimberwicke that’s clearly too big, and a running martingale. Hmm. Okay.

Immediately after mounting, she moves him into a trot. What, no walking? Stretching? Warming up? No, apparently Arabs don’t need that. That’s why their gaits are so bouncy! Uh-huh.

A few minutes later, Fury’s responded to her constant leg on him by zipping around at a fast clip, instead of that lovely floating trot. L. shortens her reins, plants both hands along his crest, and commands, “half-halt, Fury! Half-halt!” No response from Fury. L. tries again - while still posting, and her eyes are… I don’t know where her eyes were looking, but you get the point.

I didn’t volunteer there for much longer.

[Flash44]

Horse/Rider/Trainer normally do rated shows. After horse legitimately can’t pin higher than 3rd, trainer says to student “Don’t worry, we’re just practicing for the big stuff.”

[Pennywell_Bay]

From me to a person showing…

“Where are you going? The ring is THAT way…”

[findeight]

@Rel6;5876152

How does an off course place over a sloppy course?

Ummm I read that as the horse “won the DIVISION anyway” meaning was division champion despite the throwout class. Must have been alot of real sloppy courses there…

Anyway, forgot about this thread, nice to see it again…and I have a new one. Candidate for number 2 (I still think “Why is he lame, just canter” is #1). Needs a little set up, bear with me, you’ll like it, it’s a real jaw dropper.

Some kind of hopeful wannbe maybe someday jumpers at a fairly decent schooling show. Maybe 2’9" to a very “friendly” 3’. Nothing complicated course wise, nice safe fences, measured distances matching the diagram, good footing on a dry day. 16 or 18 in the class, some pretty good.

Mid teenaged kid comes in on a smallish horse with a big ole blaze on it’s face and high stockings in the front-and way too much bit with 2 sets of reins, a too tight running martingale and the matching monogrammed polo shirt, saddle pad and ear bonnet topped off by the $750 GPA “bug” helmet.

She’s a mess, scary but the rails stayed up. Poor little horse is trying but she is either burying him at the base or asking way too long. Gets to the last little double combination (a 3 to a 2 on the 1/4 line) on the half stride-sideways-on the cross canter…and asks long smacking horse with the stick…no release.

Horse gets in over the vertical but lands short and she has to smack, smack, smack (with a death grip on the reins) to get out in 3 and ends up chipping the middle oxer, puts a 3 in the 2 stride to the second oxer.

She then burys him into that second oxer and he leaves the ground with a split front end and swims over. Can’t get his front end organized in time and lands on one leg, a knee and his nose. Kid lands on his neck but stays on and horse stays upright.

Because of the white face and front stockings… would have been obvious to a blind man the horse was bleeding from one knee and it’s nose.

And the JAW of a trainer on the rail yells "TIMERS TIMERS HIT HIM HIT HIM RUN YOU ARE STILL CLEAR SPUR SPUR SPUR. Horse crosses the timers, she goes out of the ring and trainer calls the horse an a*shole and tells the rider “Great Job clear and really fast you are ready for the A’s.”:eek: Nobody even toweled off the blood.

Not rated, no steward. But the judge threw them out, he said the horse fell and was therefore eliminated. JAW trainer argued horse did not technically fall, judge said “Well, I say it did and I am the judge”

[eclipse]

Trainer to me: “you need to steer” after I landed out of a six bar and proceeded to go right into the spectators tent! :eek:

[imajacres]

[QUOTE=findeight;3555389]
Ding ding ding ding ding. We have a winner and official number one top 10 brain dead quote.

“Why is he lame. Just canter.”

Anybody top that one?

Possibly this is a good example why we need trainer certification on a national level.[/QUOTE]

Dont you have that? We do in Canada. Doesnt always help much, but at least people are a bit accountable that way. We have 3 levels of trainers and then sort of ass. trainers under that, who need to work at a barn with a certified trainer.
Kind of like swimming coaches, I guess.

[Libby416]

Ah this thread brings up so many hilarious/scary memories…

The whole barn was showing at a nice schooling show in the area, and a friend and I went to the pony ring to get ready to watch a little girl from the barn. We see this adorable, tiny little girl, riding an equally adorable little chestnut pony trotting around the schooling ring, and warming up over little crossrails. The little girl is doing great, the pony is a saint and is taking care of her. Out of no where, we hear a loud british man, SCREAMING at the little girl, “SKYLAR WHY WON’T YOU CANTER???” We were so amazed, not only at the fact that he would be screaming at his little girl, who was in a walk/trot crossrails class, but the fact that he continued to scream. The trainer eventually came over and talked with him, but boy, were we weirded out.

[Jasmine]

I judged a fun show (read: open show Western/English classes, no show clothes required) when the local 4-H leader sent her kid into the ring. With her bridle on BACKWARD. I didn’t even know you could DO that with an English bridle. You can. You have to remove the noseband from the browband and put it on separate. Then put the crownpiece where the browband goes, and vice versa.

I made the poor mortified child dismount and field-stripped her bridle and re-assembled it properly. (The corkscrew bit was also in upside down and backward) When the kid commented on how fast I was at that, my filter didn’t quite kick in fast enough for me NOT to say “That’s because I know what I’m doing.” Oops. Sorry kid. Didn’t mean to imply your trainer is a moron, but…if the shoe fits…

[jaslyn1701]

I too am guilty of dropping the giant F bomb at a show. Went to load my trainers horse in the trailer. Got her in, but before my helper could close the butt bar, she ripped back. Like an idiot, I held on to the lead - until my hands caught fire. I let go and she shot backwards out of the trailer. Then came the F-bomb really loud, from the diaphragm. I flew out the trailer after her - still yelling. Mare figured she was about to die and loaded properly.

Then I went and stuck my hands in the cooler.

A little later, I ran into the show manager and apologized for my verbal indiscretion. When I explained the details, she shrugged and said - “and you only said it once?”

[PonyPeep]

I’ve been told by all 3 of my trainers some kind of form of “Booty out, boobs out.” :lol: My first trainer said “Stick it out where it counts” :winkgrin: I’ve never felt offended by it at all. I do tend to blush though :lol:

[EverAfter]

From me to the grooms one early morning at a horse show…

“Donde esta mi nombre”… Instead of “Donde esta mi numero”

They love asking me where my name is all the time now…

[Rel6]

I used to have one useless trainer who topped it off with no brain to mouth filter.

Here are a few of her gems:

First time showing my new horse…3ft medal and I went up to the first vertical uphill with no impulsion. Horse politely says no thanks and I slide off, landing on my feet. Trainer yells into the ring, “What the f*** was that?! WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?!” I’m dazed and mortified and spend a minute trying to grab the reins from around my horse’s head (she’s 17.2 and headshy, I’m 5’1’’). Trainer continues: “JUST GET THE F*** OUT OF THE RING. JUST GET OUT.”

And during a lesson one day when I needed a little more pace: “Go faster or I throw the baby at you!” (This is her talking about her newborn baby. Greattt.)

[AllyandPete]

@Rel6;5877886

First time showing my new horse…3ft medal and I went up to the first vertical uphill with no impulsion. Horse politely says no thanks and I slide off, landing on my feet. Trainer yells into the ring, “What the f*** was that?! WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?!” I’m dazed and mortified and spend a minute trying to grab the reins from around my horse’s head (she’s 17.2 and headshy, I’m 5’1’’). Trainer continues: “JUST GET THE F*** OUT OF THE RING. JUST GET OUT.”

as serious that this was for you at the time, the vision I just got was priceless and sent me into a giggle fit. I must be honest that if one of my students did that I would be THINKING those things, but not saying them. I apologize for laughing at your sad moment and disrespectful trainer.

[Rel6]

[QUOTE=AllyandPete;5877913]
as serious that this was for you at the time, the vision I just got was priceless and sent me into a giggle fit. I must be honest that if one of my students did that I would be THINKING those things, but not saying them. I apologize for laughing at your sad moment and disrespectful trainer.[/QUOTE]

Yea, I mean I was 14 and there were a ton of pony kids around so besides my embarassment it was an extremely inappropriate thing to say in front of 9 and 10 year olds :no:

[Gray_Horse_H_J]

:lol: I love this thread.

My absolute favorite “holy crap, what an idiot” moment is from a few years ago. Not at a show, just at the barn. I was riding in the outdoor ring and a fellow boarder drove by. She stopped her car ringside, and stood there watching me ride. I thought it was a little odd, but whatever. Maybe ten minutes go by, and all of a sudden she bellows, “WHY ARE YOU RIDING MY HORSE???!!!”

Now. We both own gray geldings, but they do not look alike. The most obvious difference is that mine is fleabitten, and looks white from a distance. Hers was a much darker dappled gray. They are also not built the same, nor do they really move the same.

It took me several responses of, “This isn’t your horse.” before she believed me.

[smileyrileyxoxo]

[QUOTE=Rel6;5877886]
I used to have one useless trainer who topped it off with no brain to mouth filter.

Here are a few of her gems:

First time showing my new horse…3ft medal and I went up to the first vertical uphill with no impulsion. Horse politely says no thanks and I slide off, landing on my feet. Trainer yells into the ring, “What the f*** was that?! WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?!” I’m dazed and mortified and spend a minute trying to grab the reins from around my horse’s head (she’s 17.2 and headshy, I’m 5’1’’). Trainer continues: “JUST GET THE F*** OUT OF THE RING. JUST GET OUT.”

And during a lesson one day when I needed a little more pace: “Go faster or I throw the baby at you!” (This is her talking about her newborn baby. Greattt.)[/QUOTE]

Priceless. I can picture it it in my head all too well, as I believe I know who you are referring too :lol:

[KarrotKreek]

A comment from my entirely non-horsey husband (bless his heart for showing interest and making the attempt) upon the arrival of my new horse.

DH: What are the white things on his legs?
Me: Those are socks.
DH: …after he sees horse close up… Hey, you told me those were socks, that’s just white hair!?

[copper1]

Just last week at a pretty big show, a rider went in for her first trip and the announcer, not hearing the gate guy say “first trip” called her off course. she pulled up and things got straigtend out and she got a do over, no problem for her. In the meantime on the outside a wannabe kind of trainer is saying for all to hear that in 30 years of showing he had never seen anyone go off course! Really?
Not show related but cute: We had a lesson pony who had a big swirl cowlick in the middle of her forehead and when kids asked what it was we told them she was a unicorn but we cut her horn off so she wouldn’t accidently hurt anyone with it. Naturally the kids beleived us but one day one of the parents asked the question and I gave the same reply and she beleived me! We did have a good laugh over that!