At a tiny 4H/open show last weekend…
Judge’s comments for a Junior (elementary aged) exhibitor in her first ever showmanship class:
“Old pony”
Well, no kidding, the pony is 28! But he is in good health, plump and shiny, kind and totally kid safe… just has a huge old sway back! Not sure that this comment was very helpful for the kid…
ROFL…anyone else wonder when reading that if the pony in question was a Shetland?
The 4-H stories make me laugh. I grew up in an area with not many shows so we did 4-H. My first few “hunter” shows were jumps that were set up. On haybales. And it was like twice around the outside. My mare was starved when we got her and had since hoovered everything she could find so I had to kick like the dickens to get her to actually JUMP the jump and not stop and eat the ‘standard’ that was an alfalfa bail. That was fun…
I did AQHA breed shows and took my Arab for the open classes. We were in country pleasure and there were easily 35 horses in the class. Judge hadn’t used me once so as we stood in line-up I ditched the reins and kicked my feet out of the irons, knowing we wouldn’t have been placed in a million years. As the announcement is read my horse starts to walk out of the line-up and I’m thinking he’s just being a jerk. It wasn’t until I heard my farm’s name that I realized we’d won the class. Astro knew his name and knew he won… I was shocked for a solid 20 minutes. Not a single ribbon all day and then won the BIGGEST class of the day!
Not at a show, but sort of show-related.
A trainer I worked for left for a show and took 4 horses with him, including one that one of the lesson girls occasionally rode (and ended up leasing later). While trainer was away, the more advanced lesson kids could come and get in practice rides on the schoolies when I was around to supervise. One of the younger ones came by and asked the aforementioned girl where “Pokey” was. Even though girl knew trainer was at a show, and knew that some of the horses had left with him, she told the younger kid “Oh, Pokey died.” And totally believed it.
At a show, and I was the brain dead one. Jumped an oxer backwards. Yep. Only 2’3", but still.
I came around the corner and was just SURE that it was the diagonal line next, not the outside line (which is should have been). Trainer immediately sees where I am looking and is saying “STOP. STOP!” I’m totally clueless until we are about 1.5 strides out and by then it was way too late. I was totally out of my head at that show for some reason, bad riding patch, I guess, but that was one jump that I sure supported and stayed in the tack over!
Trainer likes to say to me at shows - “right leg right side left leg left side.” Because really, it isn’t like anything said to me right as I walk into the ring is going to make a difference! (that’s just me, I have a nerves/hyper focusing issue where I concentrate so hard on one thing I forget the rest)
There’s a teenage boy in my area who appears to be slightly developmentally disabled and rides western in many of the open shows. He is also a spoiled brat. He decides he needs a new horse because old horse is not fancy/good/fast (for walk/trot barrels?!)/winning enough, his dad buys him a new horse and he sells the old one, then he ruins the new horse, sells it, gets a new one, etc. (I was witness to him coming to look at a sale horse at my old barn, and the way he talked about the horse and to his dad in general made me want to slap him.)
I saw him at an open show with a little Arab who was way too small for him, with a massive bit and tie-down cranking in the poor pony’s face, with the kid yanking and spanking his way around the ring while the horse got increasingly wound up and upset. The judge actually pulled him into the middle and yelled at him for the way he was treating his horse. Afterward (when he didn’t place) he jumped off the horse and left it standing there outside the ring while he walked off, and his dad came over and picked up the reins. It irritates me because I think his parents and instructors and so on probably give him a pass because of his disability, but they’ve instead just encouraged him to be a jerk.
Have a few… For some reason seem to involve me at shows…
Back in the 80’s before aged out for the heck of it some of us at the barn I rode out of decided to do 4h. Didnt expect anything really buttttt… Oh yeah my horse was my jr hunter and my medal horse (back when they were normally one in the same)
We were not pinning all day not in flat not over fences. Had nice rounds not A level wins but 4h pinning nice. He was pinning several horses who seemed to have a thing for him as they tried to run over him in ever class they pinned 1-4 in every class. Finally at the end of the day I go and ask judge what it was he particul,arly did not like about my horse as he was to be the judge the next day as well (county fair). perhaps it was something I could tweek type thing. He proceeded to tear my horse to shreads ending with him asking me if we had ever jumped before that day. When I said yeah nearly every weekend on the A circut at 3’6"+ . He said" Well that is the problem you have to train UP to get to 4h level from the circut level…"
Several years later like 15ish I was doing a local ‘‘pleasure’’ show had one or two jump classes in it and the owner of the honey I was riding wanted her to go into them. Had no clue who the judge was until HE walked into the ring… Yup the judge from above… I nearly died… Recalling what he pinned then I emulated it as best I could Im just not used to allowing the horse I am riding to run over the judge but that is what he pinned before… So the first class I nearly took his head off… won the class…The next 3 flats did the same thing won every class. The over fences classes however took some skill but manged to get him to jump onto the railing a few times as we blew past at slightly more than a hand gallop. Somehow managed to keep the jumps up though… Won classes.
After teh show was done for the day the judge sought me out. Told me what a nice horse I had, how well she moved, etc. asked me her breeding and training.Told him no clue on breeding but bet some arab is in the mix somewhere… As for the training not nearly as much as my horse had in the 80’s in X county. He nearly turned ghost white think he recalled me then… He just mumbled something to the effect this horse has a lot more spririt then your old one did… Yeah guess so as I almost had no control over her almost…
Another show diffrent location same type same hony. Not same judge… Was doing Hunt seat flat classes eq, pleasure, under saddle,and one or two others. It had been a while since I equitated so not riding to seriously but well enough. Hony going at a nice hunter pace not the gimp a long gaits one was seeing on some breed circut at the time. Problem apparently judge held card in particular breed circut… So I was ‘’ going way to fast’’ in the eq class… mmm yeah ok what ever. Hunt seat undersaddle yeah this should be intresting. So I go in and show at a slightly slower pace judge somes to me and says " your horse is to far off his forehand to be a good hunt seat horse." I looked at the judge and said “no dont think so as hony was not doing an airs above.” Judge looked at me and asked what that was. I said to difficult to discribe but watch the lippies sometime they do them. I then was informed that I had to slow the horse down in the next classes so if the horse was a good huntseat horse he could tell because the next classes are not on the rider but hte horse. I said if hte horse slowed down anymore and should a jump appear infront of her I would have to carry her over the jump as she would be going to slow to do so on her own. The judge had no idea what I was talking about.
Not quite so much stupid as adorable,
But a local child (who now has turned into a comical teen), many years ago doing leadline is approached by judge who is walking up and down line up asking questions. She gets to said child and asks “Whats your ponies name, what kind of bit are they wearing and why?” (Very serious leadline question… yes… I know.)
Her reply… “Dobbin, A double twisted wire. Cause he’s baaaaaaaaaad!”
I laughed, very hard. 
[QUOTE=HunterJumperLuv;5898215]
Not quite so much stupid as adorable,
But a local child (who now has turned into a comical teen), many years ago doing leadline is approached by judge who is walking up and down line up asking questions. She gets to said child and asks “Whats your ponies name, what kind of bit are they wearing and why?” (Very serious leadline question… yes… I know.)
Her reply… “Dobbin, A double twisted wire. Cause he’s baaaaaaaaaad!”
I laughed, very hard. :)[/QUOTE]
:lol:
One Friday afternoon, at one of the tack stores I worked at several years ago, I had a pair of customers come in that I will never forget. They were a mother and daughter, and they split up as soon as they walked in the store, declining any help from me. Daughter was probably about 16 and made a beeline for the very trendy British polo shirts we sold. The mother was a very nice middle-aged lady, super polite, seemed to know what she was looking for also…she went straight to the bits and stared, and stared, and stared…I asked her again if I could help her and she says, “Yes, I’m wondering if you can point me towards the bit pillows.”
Of course, I am kerflummoxed and must have given her a very confused look.
With authority, she continues on, “Yes, I need to buy a bit pillow. My daughter’s trainer says she needs a softer bit.”
At this point, the daughter has walked over and appears MORTIFIED. She grabs her mother’s arm, and looking apologetically at me (and I am desperately trying to keep a straight face but I think tears were leaking from the corners of my eyes), says, “Oh Mom, let me handle this.”
She pats her mother’s arm, sends her over to pick out treats for the horse, and says to me, “Soooo not a horseperson.”
Of course, I also have several of those hair-raising, terrifying stories of some non-horsey oddballs shopping for bits, leather gear, chaps, and the like…“What’s the smallest rubber bit you carry? Do you think it will fit a person?” :eek:
[QUOTE=Pokey;3555153]
Giddy-up - your post reminded me of a similar one…
I was about 14 years old, and I was having difficulty sitting the canter on my little horse. He wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, I was just clueless and a novice. My trainer (at the time) told me, “You sit the canter like you’re having sex. Look: (as he proceeds to thrust his hips) you roll your hips”
My mother was standing there. Mouth. Open. Needless to say, she did not approve. And as I was a very sheltered 14 year old, his description of how to sit a canter did NOT register.[/QUOTE]
are you kidding me…I have have never heard of anything so SICK…my goodness…there is a reason why coaches should be certified…
[QUOTE=PlatosGurl;5898478]
“What’s the smallest rubber bit you carry? Do you think it will fit a person?” :eek:[/QUOTE]
:lol: I would have died. ahahahahaha
[QUOTE=HunterJumperLuv;5898215]
Not quite so much stupid as adorable,
But a local child (who now has turned into a comical teen), many years ago doing leadline is approached by judge who is walking up and down line up asking questions. She gets to said child and asks “Whats your ponies name, what kind of bit are they wearing and why?” (Very serious leadline question… yes… I know.)
Her reply… “Dobbin, A double twisted wire. Cause he’s baaaaaaaaaad!”
I laughed, very hard. :)[/QUOTE]
Love that so much.
Her reply… “Dobbin, A double twisted wire. Cause he’s baaaaaaaaaad!”
:lol: :lol: :lol: You owe me a keyboard.
If you are ever interested in driving lessons, and google something like “pony driving instruction” you will fall off your chair. Apparently that is hitching a person to a driving cart and driving them like a pony, and everyone involved is wearing very interesting costumes.
Not show related…but here’s one
At my old hole-in-the-wall barn there was a grey mare named Noelle who they just could. Not. Get. Clean. So one winter day she was palomino. Literally. Or Pee-lamino is more like it. But anyway…
after the lesson, I remarked “How dirty was noelle today! that was insane!” And my mom was like “Wait…Noelle was in that lesson? I thought noelle was grey!” :lol:
[QUOTE=SmileItLooksGoodOnYou;3854528]
Young girl (13-14) hits her crotch very hard on the pommel of her saddle after getting an awkward distance in the level 3’s or 4’s… and rides by the gate calling to her friends and trainer,
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to have babies.”[/QUOTE]
Ok that made me laugh out loud. Gotta love kids.
REALLY?
I ring-stewarded at our barn’s schooling show this weekend. There were a couple of pattern classes that ended up being HUGE and we were scrambling to get everyone organized and ready to go when it was their turn. We had to announce a couple of times that if you weren’t ready when your number was called, that was it. You lose your turn.
Toward the end of the class, a teenage girl who’d been schooling in the outdoor arena rode up to me and said “when is my turn?” I told her she missed it. She then asked “Why didn’t anyone come get me?” REALLY? When I told her it was HER responsibility to get herself here, she proceeded to argue with me about why it wasn’t. Again, REALLY?
[QUOTE=PlatosGurl;5898478]
Of course, I also have several of those hair-raising, terrifying stories of some non-horsey oddballs shopping for bits, leather gear, chaps, and the like…“What’s the smallest rubber bit you carry? Do you think it will fit a person?” :eek:[/QUOTE]
Of course, NYers in the know know that whips and crops are always cheaper at the “shops over in the West Village” than at Manhattan Saddlery. Usually a better selection, too. :lol:
I actually know a couple of trainers who ARE certified that have said much worse…
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