I had a student of mine at one of her first shows. Very small, local, laid back schooling show. She goes in for her 18" crossrails course, proceeds to the first jump and never tells the horse to jump. Mare stops, quite politely in fact, and kid flies over her head. Dad and mom are upset, not that kid fell off, but because she wasn’t allowed a “do-over”!!! :eek: :rolleyes:
I’m sure I have more, but don’t have the time right now.
Pertaining to the sexual references to riding…
… last winter I had a dressage trainer tell me, in reference to thinking about opening up my chest and sitting up straight, to “Point one boob east and one boob west!”
I about keeled off my horse I was laughing so hard.
[QUOTE=tidy rabbit;3555835]
Okay, not a horse show moment, but one that happened in my barn last weekend.
My m-i-l was in the barn and I had Aero in the cross ties after I’d ridden him. I was scratching the calic in the middle of his forehead explaining that he like that. I then said that he is part moose and that he likes to have his antlers rubbed - the boney part of his scull between his ears. He loves that area to be scratched. My m-i-l actually said
“Oh, when will he have his antlers? I didn’t know they get antlers.”[/QUOTE]
Holy crap. I think that deserves to get bumped up to #1.
[QUOTE=Seven-up;3555969]
Holy crap. I think that deserves to get bumped up to #1.[/QUOTE]
I think you have a winner!! OMG!!
Back in pony camp days, we all went to a local schooling show. Best shot: small grey pony laying on the ground with small child on top and trainer yelling “I TOLD you not to tighten the girth too much!”
Similar to someone else’s story, a few years ago I was grooming for my barn at a weeklong horse show. I’m hand grazing one of the horses near a ring so I could watch some rounds. Horse steps on my foot, doesn’t move, then GRINDS his hoof in when he finally does step off. I practically scream the F word in front of a million exhibitors, spectators, and short stirrup kids.
overheard a teenage-ish girl and her (assumed) brother talking
first they were discussing dresage:
“its when you make the horses head go one way, and his body go the other” :rolleyes:
then her brother points to an appaloosa, asking what kind of horse it is, she responds:
“its an Appalachian”
i almost choked
Yes, a spotted mountain horse. That’s awesome! :lol::lol:
No, I still think the “he’s lame? then start cantering” response wins. Probably because I have (sadly) heard it used before.
[QUOTE=findeight;3554999]
Need a little set up on the first.
“Trainer” at in 18" course in gate sends an approx 12 year old rider in. Does not wipe boots off. Does not wipe green slobber off ill kept Pony’s mouth and knees. Yells at rider all the way around, run outs, stops, wrong lead. You name it.
When awards are announced points at winner and loudly tells her student…
“She beat you because she does not take care of her own Pony and has a groom”. Just for the record, winner was a tiny 6 year old who handed Pony to her MOTHER.
Second contribution from the truely brain dead.
Another “Trainer” person to client and parents…
“You HAVE to learn to ride in a pelham and use 2 reins. When we go to the AA shows, nobody rides the Hunters in a snaffle, especially in the hack. It is just not done”.
:rolleyes:
Feel free to add to these so we can get at least 10.[/QUOTE]
You wouldn’t happen to be from long island would you? hahah. That first quote sounds very familiar…the second not far behind hahahah.
A few weeks ago this was overheard being screamed across the lower arena from one show mom to her daughter’s trainer:
“The pony should be ready to go, we lunged her for half an hour and she’s had her shot of Dex!”
[QUOTE=AndNirina;3556267]
A few weeks ago this was overheard being screamed across the lower arena from one show mom to her daughter’s trainer:
“The pony should be ready to go, we lunged her for half an hour and she’s had her shot of Dex!”[/QUOTE]
:eek::eek: just :eek:
My favourite - I was competing two horses at a show, and a small boy (about 10) stopped me and asked me if he could pet my horse.
I said, certainly, and he petted my mare’s neck. My BF/groom was holding my second horse, and I said to the little boy, “You can pet this one too, if you like. He’s her son.”
The little boy petted Pippin, and said, “How nice, you keep them in families!”
OMG–now I am officially LMAO!!! :lol::lol::lol:
[QUOTE=jej;3556305]
My favourite - I was competing two horses at a show, and a small boy (about 10) stopped me and asked me if he could pet my horse.
I said, certainly, and he petted my mare’s neck. My BF/groom was holding my second horse, and I said to the little boy, “You can pet this one too, if you like. He’s her son.”
The little boy petted Pippin, and said, “How nice, you keep them in families!”[/QUOTE]
Thats really kind of sweet.
At a local show I noticed a very large grey that was noticeably lame during the hacks-I was sitting next to the trainer (who was sitting chatting with her BF having a smoke not really paying much attention) one of the other boarders walks up and asks if the horse is lame. Trainer says “oh probably” other boarder asks “does the rider know?” trainer replies “I don’t think so, and I’m not going to be the one to tell her” and turns away and continues to talk to the BF.
[QUOTE=ParadiseFound;3555341]
My favorite quote EVER was from my father (he’s not brain dead, but this is kind of hilarious) at the first show he came to watch me in. I was doing a medal called the Horse and Hound and went in and jumped a pretty nice round. We were second to last, so I cooled my horse down in the warm up ring while watching the rest go when my dad signaled me over to the rail. His very serious question.
“So…when do you do the part with the hounds?”
I love my dad.[/QUOTE]
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: aww. silly dads. my dad says stuff like that—no wonder i dont take him to shows!
[QUOTE=Pokey;3555153]
Giddy-up - your post reminded me of a similar one…
I was about 14 years old, and I was having difficulty sitting the canter on my little horse. He wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, I was just clueless and a novice. My trainer (at the time) told me, “You sit the canter like you’re having sex. Look: (as he proceeds to thrust his hips) you roll your hips”
My mother was standing there. Mouth. Open. Needless to say, she did not approve. And as I was a very sheltered 14 year old, his description of how to sit a canter did NOT register.[/QUOTE]
I’ve heard a worst story using that reference…
“Just sit the canter like you have the biggest c— in you and you don’t want to let go of it”. That to a 14 year old. Some trainers…
[QUOTE=FAW;3556812]
I’ve heard a worst story using that reference…
“Just sit the canter like you have the biggest c— in you and you don’t want to let go of it”. That to a 14 year old. Some trainers…[/QUOTE]
Seriously? I don’t get shocked by much, but that is really quite offensive.
I was at a local 4-H clinic, riding my horse (there are a few of us in our group that do hunter-jumpers too). They were practicing jumping figure 8, which is where you jump over about an 8" jump and then go wind around 3 barrels, then run back and jump the jump the opposite way. One girl was on her barrel horse, riding “hunt seat” because she wanted to practice for an upcoming (very small) show. So she walks over to her dad (who is a very nice guy, actually used to ride jumpers when he was younger, but since then was very into rodeos and gaming) and asks him,
“So do you think T-Bone (the horse) is good for a run over this (points at tiny jump)?”
Dad: “Cassie! You’re going to jump in an ENGLISH saddle?!”
(which was cause enough for general hilarity between me, my mom, and the girls who ride with me :lol:).
[QUOTE=FAW;3556812]
I’ve heard a worst story using that reference…
“Just sit the canter like you have the biggest c— in you and you don’t want to let go of it”. That to a 14 year old. Some trainers…[/QUOTE]
My mother’s jaw would have dropped to the floor. At 14, I would have looked at them like What are you talking about a rooster?
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