Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.

[seeuatx]

Wait, I hear a new one tonight at the barn. New student shows up for lessons… she wanted to lease one of the nicer horses but he needs a pretty knowledgeable ride to the fences… she gets placed on a lazy but very sweet school master type (he knows it all… you just have to get it out of him ). Thank goodness because that good old boy saved her butt a few time at an X.

Trainer goes to talk to parents… says she had been told rider had a hunter background, but thought she was overfaced with the course (though it was X’s, girl had never ridden a line, much less a course before:eek:) so it should be back to basics. Dad says to trainer “but she’s jumped before. I mean, jumping is jumping unless it is 5 foot”. OH DEAR GOD. If I’d had a desk in front of me at the time, my head would have landed on it hard. I had to leave then, so I did not get to hear anymore gems like this (other than they thought that lazy horse was beneath the talent of their dear little precious daughter… what they don’t know is he holds his own as in the C/A hunter classes).

[FAW]

[QUOTE=tidy rabbit;3556822]
Seriously? I don’t get shocked by much, but that is really quite offensive.[/QUOTE]

If I had not heard it from a reliable source, I won’t believe it either. This girl was pretty shy.

[spmoonie]

heres mine:

I have a palomino paint and another girl at my barn had a black and white paint. The first time my dad saw the 2 horses next to eachother, he asked me, “Why are your horse’s spots faded?”

[Gray_Horse_H_J]

[QUOTE=findeight;3555389]
Ding ding ding ding ding. We have a winner and official number one top 10 brain dead quote.

“Why is he lame. Just canter.”

Anybody top that one?

Possibly this is a good example why we need trainer certification on a national level.[/QUOTE]

So sad to say, but I’ve heard that before - said to a rider entering the show ring, trainer’s advice on best disguising the limp in a courtesy circle. “Pick up a canter right away so the judge can’t see him limp.” Great.

I’ve heard some doozies from people. I remember sitting in the schooling ring at a little B show, waiting for my turn in an eq class, talking to a fellow boarder. Really nice girl, I liked her a lot, but sheesh. She turned to me and said, “Now in eq, they just judge your position right? So if I chip or go off course or something it doesn’t matter, as long as I look good?” Kid you not. Considering we rode at a strictly H/J barn, and she’d been riding for eons, I was a bit surprised to hear that.

A man who is somehow distantly related to my family got into a convo about horses with me once. He’s been riding for years, and is a self-proclaimed expert. I’m a novice dingbat because I didn’t realize that Quarter Horses and TBs are actually the same breed. Silly me. This whole time I’ve owned a QH and had no idea! :lol:

[system]

I really can’t make fun of anyone else, since I’ve said some pretty nice gems myself… I’m not too embarrassed to share my own “brain-dead” or “ignorant” moments though.

I was hanging out with a group of teenage girls at Horse Camp. I’m sure they were between 13-18, with me being the youngest at 9 or 10. I was leasing a devious little QH/something lesson-pony reject and showing on the B circuit in short stirrup back then. I was quite proud because the other girl who half-leased him had to compete in BEGINNER horse camp and I got to do ADVANCED. Not because I was really talented or anything, I was just unbelievably cute (back then) and the instructor adored me according to my mother. And the pony had to do both camps, poor thing – two rides a day, although I doubt either tired him much. He was really hard to ride and kind of ugly, so to win on him you had to be PERFECT. He was a boring chestnut with a big head, so you can imagine the nasty looks I got when I felt brave enough to attempt outside clinics.

Anyway, one particularly nasty girl (even at 9, I didn’t care for her–she was REALLY mean!) says, “Olivia, how tall is Copper?” Completely clueless, and wanting to impress the older girls (I worshiped them–seriously, whenever one would let me sit on their ottbs I would literally squeal with joy), I say, “Oh, he’s about 46.8 hands or so.”

Needless to say, I got my education on horse height with a lot of laughter. Copper ended up being 11.2 …

Another thing I did when I was younger was take my hunter circle a BIT too seriously… If I didn’t get the canter RIGHT away (I mean I used to rocket into the ring as if the devil himself was chasing me) I would circle and circle until I got it right. One time I must have circled 5 or 6 times (mind you, this was short stirrup… the judge didn’t WANT to excuse me) before I was “excused”. I quit my hunter circle and went on and jumped the course. Strangely, I didn’t do my second hunter circle, although I was obsessive about doing it before.

When I came out, my trainer said, “when you’re excused, honey, that means you come out of the ring…”

And I said (in the way that an eight year old has), “No. That’s not right. When you’re excused that means you don’t need to do the hunter circle anymore!”

[Gray_Horse_H_J]

Oh, thought of another. My horse had recently had his hocks injected. A fellow boarder - who has been riding a long time, and really should know better - asked me if I had the hocks on his front legs or back legs done.

[gg4918]

[QUOTE=Gray Horse H/J;3556951]
Oh, thought of another. My horse had recently had his hocks injected. A fellow boarder - who has been riding a long time, and really should know better - asked me if I had the hocks on his front legs or back legs done.[/QUOTE]

Heard ALMOST the same answer during a 3’6" medal test when the judge decided to ask questions.

Judge: Where are the hocks located?
Rider: Well, there are four of them…

[Tilly]

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think about the canter in the same way after reading some of these. :eek: :lol:

[Seven-up]

Alright, I have one…not at a show but still priceless…

There was a horse who had an eye removed due to injury. One of the barn kids (about 13 or so) asked why the horse’s eye was always closed. The owner (who was about 25 in an 8 year old body) said very simply, “he lost it.”

Barn kid asks, “did you ever find it?”

8 year old looks at her, sees she’s not kidding, and says, “no, they had to take it out.”

Barn kid thinks a minute, then asks, “well, are they going to put it back?”

8 year old just walks off.

[_downpour]

[QUOTE=FAW;3556812]
I’ve heard a worst story using that reference…

“Just sit the canter like you have the biggest c— in you and you don’t want to let go of it”. That to a 14 year old. Some trainers…[/QUOTE]

oh my gosh…:eek: thats shocking! That is absolutely shocking, I’m at a loss for words!

[Policy_of_Truth]

[QUOTE=Rubies and Pearls;3555074]
Oh, come on TR, we won’t laugh, we promise![/QUOTE]

That’s not true - I’ll laugh.
:winkgrin::lol:

[palmettoshorty]

Trainer screaming to student in the warm up ring; “STAB HIM, STAB HIM WITH THAT SPUR!”. I swear I wasn’t being a creepy stalker, they had stopped at the gate to chat so I kept overhearing the converstation. Trainer yelling at now crying student; “I didn’t say stick him I said stab him! STAB HIM!”. I’m not really sure what the situation was, the whole stabbing thing just kind of stuck out.

[apachepony]

[QUOTE=shawneeAcres;3555205]
They ALL ride with protective vests (over their jackets) which is fine, but trust me they are there FOR A REASON. [/QUOTE]

I’m sad to say I know exactly who you’re talking about, and they are beyond horrifying. Since i’m doing eventing now, I don’t mind if people choose to wear a vest, but at least put it under your freaking coat!

[_DS]

ok well i was at a local show taking a young horse around. Me and a girl from my barn were waiting to go into the ring, and a lady walks up to her and kind of freaks out and tells her “oh my gosh, your horse is foaming at the mouth, I’ll go get a vet for you”. And the girl had to tell her very nicely that her horse didn’t have rabies.

[hideyourheart03]

[QUOTE=Everythingbutwings;3555343]
Me, at ingate upon hearing my horse pin well:

“BUT HE WAS BAD!” :eek:[/QUOTE]

Ahhhh I’ve done this too! I won a class after being angry about my trip (it wasn’t bad, just wasn’t good either)… ahahaha… my trainer made me go hug my horse before getting my ribbon.

[tidy_rabbit]

[QUOTE=tidy rabbit;3555065]
I’m usually the brain dead one, so I could only count up the things that are said TO ME! And I wont bore you with all that…

:lol:[/QUOTE]

@Rubies and Pearls;3555074

Oh, come on TR, we won’t laugh, we promise!

[QUOTE=pacificsolo;3557086]That’s not true - I’ll laugh.
:winkgrin::lol:[/QUOTE]

See, I knew why I shouldn’t tell, there’s that meanie Pacificsolo again.

Plus I typically save my super idiotic moments for the really big shows, not the local shows. So I’d need a different topic, wouldn’t want to derail this thread. Seems the more the pressure or intensity, the bigger the faux paux.

[mroades]

At a local show in the walk trot division. Small boy with no business being at a show (heels up, foot all the way through the stirrup, reins all over the place) on old school horse who WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BARN MATE! So horse keeps diving toward his buddy, “trainer” yells" Yank him!! Yank him hard! Make it hurt!"

[hedmbl]

[QUOTE=tidy rabbit;3557344]
See, I knew why I shouldn’t tell, there’s that meanie Pacificsolo again.

Plus I typically save my super idiotic moments for the really big shows, not the local shows. So I’d need a different topic, wouldn’t want to derail this thread. Seems the more the pressure or intensity, the bigger the faux paux.[/QUOTE]

:lol:
We should do an AA spinoff of these…that’s where all of mine seem to happen too :o

[morrisfan1]

Re:

Not saying my old trainer was brain dead, but I was in a pleasure pony class, when the soon-to-be champion galloped as fast as an small pony could run , and proceeded to a lovely cro-hop thing. My pony was an angel! Ears up, he was moving out and look beautiful! After the class was pinned, my trainer said, (so I was told…) “I wasn’t aware that we had to practice the pleasurable hand gallop!”

here are the pinnings;)

galloping pony 1st
bucking wrong lead pony 2nd
me: nothing.

so, I haven’t ever liked pleasure very much! lol:cool:

[Spooks]

I was chatting with the course designer at an A rated show. He told me a trainer once asked him “How many strides to the first fence?”