Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.

[QUOTE=shawneeAcres;3555205]
There is this barn in our area, we pretty much only see the riders at our district and state 4-H shows. WE call them the “scary riders”. They ALL ride with protective vests (over their jackets) which is fine, but trust me they are there FOR A REASON. These kids are taught NOT to release and NOT to get in two point over the fence, I mean HONESTLY they sit STRAIGHT UP over top of the fence and the POOR POOR HORSES constantly get hit in the mouth. These aren’t little kids, some of them are 16, 17, 18 years old. THey also GUN their horses at the fences, as fast as they can possibly get them. It is absolutely frightening to see. And all the while in warmup their trainer is gushing praise “Oh that was PEERRFFECT!!! Love on your pony for that” while we are CRINGING! So at the state show this past, one of the kids is on this REALLY adorable pony, that unfortuantely is absolutely close to being ruined by this, AND on top of it he is SUPER green, at district they stated he had been jumping like TWO WEEKS total and is doing the 2’9". Anyways, the kid goes in, pony has a stop or two I think, comes to a fence and jumps it STRAIGHT UP and STRAIGHT down, of course, becuase he gets NO release and rider is sitting perfectly verticle. The kid comes off. So the trainer is walking out of the ring with the kid, leading the pony (kid was fine) and says to the Mom “Well good, she fell off, she ALWAYS rides SO MUCH BETTER after falling off” I KID YOU NOT!! Wouldn’t this be a red flag to a parent (and the fact that another kid of hers wasn’t able to ride and was in a cast at the show)???[/QUOTE]

Oooh, this gives me flashbacks to the fair last weekend. I went up to watch the western events (only events they have :frowning: ) and was stunned by the entrants. These people look like someone just sat them on a horse, gave them a “cool cowboy hat” and said “go! take a deathgrip on the horn if you need to!”

There was a semi-horsey couple sitting behind me in the bleachers and the husband said to his wife: “Aren’t they supposed to practice for this?”

Now, there were a few good ones. one older man clearly knew his riding well, and a little girl was on a seasoned gamer/lesson type that did well, and the kid was a good little rider… But omg… talk about terrible riders otherwise! They were practically sitting on top of the cantle, death grip on the horn, bouncing around all over the place, holding onto the cantle, ripping around on their horse’s mouth (with huge shanked bits, of course). There were quite a few gasps from the crowd as a few of the riders nearly kept going when the horse turned around the barrel.

Its sad, because this fair used to bring some very good riders, now it seems to just be the idiots that would be featured on FHOTD.

I went for a lesson at a hunter jumper barn. I was put on a horse, with the knowledge I would be jumping 3’ to 3’6" that day. I was told I would really like this horse, as he was the trainer’s retired jumper who had “won him a lot of money.” How cool!

I picked up a trot and the horse was dead lame. As in it felt like his leg was going to give way at any moment.

I immediately pulled up and the trainer immediately snapped, “Why did you pull up”?

I said, “Because the horse is lame.”

Trainer responds with, “Yes, he has navicular, but he still has to earn his keep”.

My response was, “Dude, you just told me this horse had already won you a lot of money. Has he not already earned his retirement without having to continue to jump whilst almost crippled? Besides, I’m not paying to ride a crippled horse.” I hopped off, tossed him the reins and walked out.

2 Likes

creseida

I had to re-read your “location” in your profile a couple of times. LOL. It took me a minute to understand you were not meaning “the rear end of my horse, where the view is best”. Or is that what you mean? Help!

Depends on the circumstances of any given day, but normally I mean sitting on his/her back. :wink:

That sounds like a trainer that I know very well in this area.

So, a few years ago at the local “A” show in Tampa, I’m watching the Level 5 jumpers go, and there’s a woman riding a chestnut gelding who apparently was a newer horse to her. He’s a firecracker and jumps like a deer, unseating her, tossing her around, etc. (she is an ammy, perhaps this was not the horse for her). She comes out of the ring, out of breath. Someone asks her if she is going to do the Level 7’s.

Her reply, VERY LOUDLY:
“Hell no, I don’t want to hurt my pu**y!!!”

I will never, EVER forget that. :lol:

1 Like

What is with the oversexed people? :lol: And you have to wonder what the canter/sex trainers are telling boys…

Not at a horse show, but on the way… mid 90’s- Transmission goes on the truck on I-87 in NY. Parents are making calls, and I’m in the trailer refilling hay net and putting in water bucket, etc in a mall parking lot. Very nice family comes over, asks if they can say hello. I say sure. They look in and pet my bright chestnut OTTB, who was on the skinny/very fit side at the time. As they go to get back in their car, they thank me for letting them pet my cow.

1 Like

[QUOTE=October Sky Farm;3557875]
So, a few years ago at the local “A” show in Tampa, I’m watching the Level 5 jumpers go, and there’s a woman riding a chestnut gelding who apparently was a newer horse to her. He’s a firecracker and jumps like a deer, unseating her, tossing her around, etc. (she is an ammy, perhaps this was not the horse for her). She comes out of the ring, out of breath. Someone asks her if she is going to do the Level 7’s.

Her reply, VERY LOUDLY:
“Hell no, I don’t want to hurt my pu**y!!!”

I will never, EVER forget that. :lol:[/QUOTE]

That’s hillarious! I’m still laughing outloud.

[QUOTE=joiedevie99;3557922]
Not at a horse show, but on the way… mid 90’s- Transmission goes on the truck on I-87 in NY. Parents are making calls, and I’m in the trailer refilling hay net and putting in water bucket, etc in a mall parking lot. Very nice family comes over, asks if they can say hello. I say sure. They look in and pet my bright chestnut OTTB, who was on the skinny/very fit side at the time. As they go to get back in their car, they thank me for letting them pet my cow.[/QUOTE]

For real? You’re making that up right?

Nope. 100% true. It was the dad that said it, and the kids looked at him kinda funny- but didn’t correct him. Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue, but my mom swears he was that clueless. She had a conversation with him while the kids were still petting my mare, and apparently they had just moved to the Albany area from the Bronx a week earlier and were at the mall shopping for things for their new house.

Hey - some of us only have one coat, and so either it has to be too big for dressage or the vest has to go over top for stadium! Personally, I think the vest over top option is better… :wink:

[QUOTE=joiedevie99;3557941]
Nope. 100% true. It was the dad that said it, and the kids looked at him kinda funny- but didn’t correct him. Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue, but my mom swears he was that clueless. She had a conversation with him while the kids were still petting my mare, and apparently they had just moved to the Albany area from the Bronx a week earlier and were at the mall shopping for things for their new house.[/QUOTE]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Oh I so believe this. My uncle was upstate (near Albany)(he is from Long Island) at a friend of the family’s house and looks out the back of their house which faces a cow field (and there are about 20 cows in the pasture at the time) and says to our friends…“Oh, you have horses too?” We all paused just waiting for him to laugh, and nothing happened. We still joke about this :smiley:

Not surprised. My hay guy has the best story of a Manhattanite who he met out hunting in VT… The guy was bragging about how he had shot a deer while out hunting and this guy had asked him for help moving it back to the truck. They walk out to where the fallen prey is and lo and behold there is no deer to be found…he had shot a dairy cow!!!:eek:

Sounds like my former trainer, but if they’re lame they get put down. No chance for retirement. :no:

this thread is hysterical!

and I’ve got lots to add…

" what is that bit? it looks like some kind of medievel torture device! How do you ride with 3 reins? " (speaking of a 3 ring elevator… out of the mouth of a “trainer” who wants to do the jumpers:))

" I can’t use an english hackamore on my horse…it’s too harsh" ( coming from someone who uses a long shank mechanical hackamore)

“is this a pelham?” (an experienced rider holding up a loose ring gag bit)

" he can’t be a Paint,…paints have to be spotted…"

How tall is your horse?.. " He’s 16.4"

“wow i’ve never seen an Appaloosa that big!” …said to my friend about her 17h grey Trakehner who has nothing appy about him.

" you need to pull your inside rein across his neck more…" instruction for the half pass that just never worked for my dressage horse:D

" Is he a Warmblood?" … ( asked to my friend whose full QH is short and stocky ( and clearly QH:winkgrin:)).

[QUOTE=creseida;3557614]
I went for a lesson at a hunter jumper barn. I was put on a horse, with the knowledge I would be jumping 3’ to 3’6" that day. I was told I would really like this horse, as he was the trainer’s retired jumper who had “won him a lot of money.” How cool!

I picked up a trot and the horse was dead lame. As in it felt like his leg was going to give way at any moment.

I immediately pulled up and the trainer immediately snapped, “Why did you pull up”?

I said, “Because the horse is lame.”

Trainer responds with, “Yes, he has navicular, but he still has to earn his keep”.

My response was, “Dude, you just told me this horse had already won you a lot of money. Has he not already earned his retirement without having to continue to jump whilst almost crippled? Besides, I’m not paying to ride a crippled horse.” I hopped off, tossed him the reins and walked out.[/QUOTE]

I had a similar experience when I decided I wanted to start jumping again. I was warming up the school horse and felt he was off (not super lame but stiff) and suggested to the instructor maybe we should just do a flat lesson since he didn’t feel quite right.

The instructor said to me “What am I going to teach you on the flat?” and then “Don’t worry about it. He will warm out of it.” I didn’t go back…if they can’t teach me anything on the flat, I don’t need to take lessons with them.

[QUOTE=LookinSouth;3558005]
Not surprised. My hay guy has the best story of a Manhattanite who he met out hunting in VT… The guy was bragging about how he had shot a deer while out hunting and this guy had asked him for help moving it back to the truck. They walk out to where the fallen prey is and lo and behold there is no deer to be found…he had shot a dairy cow!!!:eek:[/QUOTE]

Sad but true… My husband is from PA, and he says that every hunting season all the farmers would have to paint the word COW on their cows sides so the clueless city hunters wouldn’t shoot them. :eek:

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My bid for the top ten list…

Many years ago I had the dubious honor of judging at a little local schooling show. Lots of kids and backyard horses, many cute and appropriate, some really scary. In the equitation over fences, I had to defend myself from a mother who was furious that her daughter had been out of the ribbons. Her daughter had a really harum-scarum round and had BOUNCED the one-stride in and out (Yikes!!) Dear old Mom thought she should have received “extra points” for doing something harder than all the other kids!

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That’s awesome! I’m going to say that to my trainers next time one of my horses leaves a stride out!

“I should get extra credit!”