A woman from my old barn (call her Suzy) was asked to hack a horse for an A/O lady who had 2 in the class at a big show. This horse was VERY VERY VERY nice, and Suzy was pretty excited to get to ride him. She’s a very sweet lady, and normally functions on a normal level…not sure what happened that day. Everyone goes into the hack, trots around to spread out and such, you know the deal. The class starts, everyone goes to the walk. Everyone, that is, except for Suzy, who continues to trot. They call for the trot, then the canter, then the change of direction. Through the ENTIRE class, Suzy kept trotting (and didn’t even change direction when everyone else did - can you imagine what the other competitors were thinking when Crazy Lady is trotting head on toward them in a hack class?) Anyway, everyone goes to line up in the middle of the ring, and suddenly, a look of utter shock comes over Suzy’s face. They come out of the ring and trainer and owner are both like WTF - poor Suzy just goes, “I’m sorry - I didn’t realized they’d started!!”
Oh, my. :lol: That totally sounds like something my mother would do. I think I’ll call her Suzy all day tomorrow and not tell her why. :yes:
Sad to say, I do have one said by a trainer at a local show.
A former (? - haven’t seen her on here for a long time) poster told this on herself. I did not hear it said, but was at the show and did see the result.
Kid was riding her young and very green horse; first show and probably only the second or third time he’d done a course. 2’ fences. Show was at her trainer’s barn but she did not board there, so the horse was not real familiar with the concept of a ring, either. And the ring didn’t have an actual gate; just an opening at the bottom. I understand they had some trouble keeping him in the ring during schooling. Kid goes in for her first round; horse starts OK but when he does the line that comes back down to the bottom of the ring he keeps right on going and ducks out again.
Next round - trainer tells the kid “Be ready for a surprise”.
EVERYBODY got a surprise, all right. Trainer stood in the gate opening holding a rake. Kid starts jumping OK, then comes down the line towards the gate. Horse makes plans to exit. Trainer steps forward and cracks the horse across the side of the head with the handle of the rake.
Audible gasp from everyone watching. Miraculously, horse decides it is safer to keep going & kid does not fall off. No adverse consequences, either - unrated local show, trainer’s own barn, trainer’s judge, etc.
Not sure who was more brain dead, though; the trainer for saying & doing this, or the kid & parents for continuing with this trainer…:no:
You know what Quin ? Sometimes you gotta get 'er done. I laughed so hard about the rake I choked. Then I remembered standing on the left side of the vertical mere feet from the center saying “jump here” when all that stood between me and critical injury was a 12 year old pony rider.
Karen Healy is said to have come back from teaching a clinic with a pocketful of rocks in her jacket. She had been using them to persuade the more reluctant attendants and discovered them at the airport.
And Quin I am not laughing specifically at that situation. Just the idea in general of a trainer throwing themselves in front of 1200 pounds of hoofs and determination with a rake.
Standing ringside, being polite. “Oh, what a cute horse, are you having fun?” Rider, “yes, isn’t he adorable. This is my Thoroughbred. He’s half Appaloosa and half Appendix.” I smiled 
Today at lunch. “My daughter’s horse was in season and kicked out and injured her leg, you know? down by her withers?” Once again, I smiled :
Like I said, I was there. The crack of the wooden handle against the horse’s skull and the horrified gasp from the spectators didn’t seem humorous at the time. I could see someone unexpectedly being charged and grabbing a rake or anything handy to defend themselves. But this trainer set it up on purpose and must have felt that it was an appropriate training technique (not to mention having already decided that it was appropriate for THIS rider to be on THIS horse in THIS show, no matter how ‘local’). Thus my nomination of “Be ready for a surprise” as one of the quotable quotes.
Here’s one for you -
happened at a 4-H Open show. We take a fairly green horse for some show experience at a local facility that also hosts some fairly big shows. This one is an Open show so I’m not really sure what kind of judging we are going to get. It is a "Jumper " class, consists of 4 jumps around the outside, one in the middle, think H. Very scary horses and we are not great, but at least safe. Rider with 2 stops wins. Now we may have been in “cookie heaven” (Chips galore) but no stops , no rails so if being judged based on hunters or jumpers chips trump stops. Anyway - question steward who questions judge. Judge says - “Well they have three tries to get over the jumps.” !!!?!:eek:
This was actually experienced by a friend…
Friend is about to go into hunter ring for her class at a small local show. Manager of barn/show manager has gone into ring and raised fences for new class, made various modifications, and leaves the ring, without modifying an oxer that was an ascending given the direction it was jumped in the previous class but is now backward for the new course. Friend knows barn manager and says, “Wait, aren’t you going to change that oxer?” Barn manager asks, “Why?” Friend has to explain why. Barn manager mutters, “Ohhhh…” and wanders off to fix it.
Are you kidding me? She genuinely didn’t know. Freaks me out a little since she teaches a kid that’s interested in leasing my gelding, and I actually like the kid. Gulp.
#1 Last year was at a smaller A show a few months after a very busy show season, trainer hadn’t been consistent in showing up to shows during the season (my horses stayed with grooms at showgrounds) so I left and went to ride with another trainer who i’d shown with before.
New trainer (in 3 weeks…) gets me to no longer lean at jumps. (YAY!) Go back to old trainer (since new trainer went home) and at smaller A show is yelling at me to lean at the jumps.
WHAT?
I continue to warm up and NOT lean at jumps. Trainer yells at me for NOT leaning at jump, and refuses to coach me at the ring becuase of it.
It was our last show together.
#2 Hacking a horse at a smaller show, never seen it go before, had NO clue he needed 2 inch spurs to get him to canter.(Seriously, like the dressage ones…) I give up on trying to get him to canter more than once around the ring, I decide to work on my no-stirrup trot work. Go past the ingate, about 4 kids are their snickering saying “wow she can’t even keep her feet in the stirrups, geeezzz”
#3 Not at a show but went to visit a friend at her barn, she is having trouble with her horse, he pulls his head into his chest and is wayyyy behind vertical- ‘trainer’ gets on and can’t fix it- comes to me and asks - hey can you run to the tack room and get me draw reins? I respond with “for who?”, trainer replys- The horse who obviously NEEDS them…
the list goes on…
Told to me by a friend who judges. She showed up to do a local HJ show and the judge in the other ring pointed to the score sheet and asked what all the little boxes were for.
These are hilarious, but this one was too much! So did the guy buy her?
Understand that I am an eventer through and through, and very happy that we are not judged on style and form in that sport. :yes:
However…
At a local 2-phase, a “trainer” comes out of the ring after stadium, having just laid down a positively terrifying, but clean, round on what appears to be a saint of a horse (recently purchased for one of her students) - you know, one of those rounds where you think, “If she’d just left the horse alone to do his JOB, that would have been lovely.” She says to the owners as she exits, “It doesn’t have to be pretty; it just has to be clean!”
My reply (in an undertone to my friend next to me ;)): “Unfortunately.” :uhoh:
[QUOTE=veebug22;3560611]
This was actually experienced by a friend…
Friend is about to go into hunter ring for her class at a small local show. Manager of barn/show manager has gone into ring and raised fences for new class, made various modifications, and leaves the ring, without modifying an oxer that was an ascending given the direction it was jumped in the previous class but is now backward for the new course. Friend knows barn manager and says, “Wait, aren’t you going to change that oxer?” Barn manager asks, “Why?” Friend has to explain why. Barn manager mutters, “Ohhhh…” and wanders off to fix it.
Are you kidding me? She genuinely didn’t know. Freaks me out a little since she teaches a kid that’s interested in leasing my gelding, and I actually like the kid. Gulp.[/QUOTE]
I’ve seen that before, only it was a roll top at a very local show. It was set up weird to begin with the roll top was placed a good foot in front of the jump rail (if it was being jumped in the correct direction that is) which for the level of this show was very odd/dangerous to begin with…jumping it backwards was just asking for a hospital visit. Sad thing is that all of the trainers were sending their kids in anyway. It wasn’t until we showed up (was riding along with my vet and had to stop by the show to drop off a few things for the BO) and my vet asked why they were jumping the roll top backwards that the show manager said ‘Oh! I didn’t realize it had to be used in only one direction’. Thank god the courses were purely verticals save the rolltop…hate to think what they would’ve done to a true oxer.
In his defense I don’t think he knew it was dangerous (not very experienced in the riding department) I was way more shocked that the trainers clearly had no idea how dangerous it was, esp since most of the horses weren’t exactly good jumpers and they def weren’t being given even okay rides. The best one though was the lady who trained out of the barn in question that wandered up to us while my vet was talking to the BO and asked why the roll top had been switched…didn’t we know it was backwards now? The look on my vets face was priceless…I thought he was actually going to cry :lol:
[QUOTE=Kristen;3559292]
A woman from my old barn (call her Suzy) was asked to hack a horse for an A/O lady who had 2 in the class at a big show. This horse was VERY VERY VERY nice, and Suzy was pretty excited to get to ride him. She’s a very sweet lady, and normally functions on a normal level…not sure what happened that day. Everyone goes into the hack, trots around to spread out and such, you know the deal. The class starts, everyone goes to the walk. Everyone, that is, except for Suzy, who continues to trot. They call for the trot, then the canter, then the change of direction. Through the ENTIRE class, Suzy kept trotting (and didn’t even change direction when everyone else did - can you imagine what the other competitors were thinking when Crazy Lady is trotting head on toward them in a hack class?) Anyway, everyone goes to line up in the middle of the ring, and suddenly, a look of utter shock comes over Suzy’s face. They come out of the ring and trainer and owner are both like WTF - poor Suzy just goes, “I’m sorry - I didn’t realized they’d started!!”[/QUOTE]
Okay for funny (and believability) this one wins the prize! :lol:
From a mother, exiting the porta-potty: “Eww! Someone peed in the purse-holder.”
:eek: :eek: :lol: :lol: :lol: DEFINITELY Top Ten material. No contest.
Years ago a place I worked at was totally rehabbing a bowling alley, including both bathrooms at once-so they put some porta-potties outside. One evening during a bowling league a lady went outside to use them and came back complaining that she couldn’t find the light switch and she couldn’t find the flush handle.
[QUOTE=touchstone-;3561342]
From a mother, exiting the porta-potty: “Eww! Someone peed in the purse-holder.”[/QUOTE]
::headdesk::
Sadly, I’ve heard people say similar things. Worst port a potty story I’ve witnessed was when one tipped over with a girl inside of it. :eek: Someone was backing up a trailer, bumped it hard and, since it was located on a hill, once it tipped it rolled. She was okay except for a few bumps and bruises and luckily it was the first day of schooling so she didn’t get covered in any ::cough:: messes but I still have yet to get in a port a potty after witnessing that. I’ll take my chances with a less private stall in a dire emergency thank-you-very-much.
Said by a mother after her daughter just got run away with in a short stirrup class and jumped almost every fence the wrong way, “OH Mary, that was wonderful!!!” As she continues to clap VERY loudly and whistle. Well Mary comes out of the ring bawling and mom says, “Mary, if you are going to come out of the ring crying, maybe riding isn’t for you.” Mom was completely clueless as to why Mary was crying.
I’d lots rather have Mary’s mother than some I’ve seen at shows - that one is funny but kinda sweet!
Oh, and I can totally relate to Suzy - poor woman - I get that roaring in my head in the ring, too :winkgrin:.
