Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.

[QUOTE=touchstone-;3561342]
From a mother, exiting the porta-potty: “Eww! Someone peed in the purse-holder.”[/QUOTE]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[QUOTE=hedmbl;3561555]
::headdesk::
Sadly, I’ve heard people say similar things. Worst port a potty story I’ve witnessed was when one tipped over with a girl inside of it. :eek: Someone was backing up a trailer, bumped it hard and, since it was located on a hill, once it tipped it rolled. She was okay except for a few bumps and bruises and luckily it was the first day of schooling so she didn’t get covered in any ::cough:: messes but I still have yet to get in a port a potty after witnessing that. I’ll take my chances with a less private stall in a dire emergency thank-you-very-much.[/QUOTE]

OMG! Please tell me you’re kidding! :eek::eek: That is the stuff of nightmares. Oh the horror!!!

[QUOTE=lcw579;3561598]
OMG! Please tell me you’re kidding! :eek::eek: That is the stuff of nightmares. Oh the horror!!![/QUOTE]

sadly no. I was only 12 or so and felt so bad for the girl. I was traumatized and all I did was see it happen! Poor thing! I don’t think I’m the only one that walked away with a life long aversion to port-a-potties that day :no:

Well, hedmbl, I already avoid them like the plague but now… I think it will be the bushes for me. Especially if it’s on uneven ground. :winkgrin:

Just to set the stage a little, my dad is a wonderful guy and I’m grateful that he supports my riding, but he is really not involved in it at all.

Anyways, last weekend, as we were on the plane flying home from DC, my dad turns to me and goes “So, sweetheart, how many horses do we own now?”
:rolleyes:

And on a separate occasion…
I was down at a horse show and my dad had come down to watch. My trainer had just come out of the ring on my Junior Hunter, having shown him in a Second Year Greens class. My dad had watched my horse go in the class and had been fascinated by him in that way that non horsey people sometimes are with a particular random horse. Apparently he hadn’t known that it was my horse though, because as my trainer comes out of the ring on him my dad goes “Who owns this horse? He’s beautiful. Is he for sale?”.
My trainer smiled and informed him that he was indeed already the owner of the horse.

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I was once ground-driving my baby on a VERY windy day, and as we passed the porta potty a huge gust came up and blew the thing over onto her! :eek: Luckily she did the stock still “What the hell is happening?!” thing for about five seconds, which was long enough for the gust to pass and the porta potty to right itself. Then she flipped out…it was quite exciting for a minute or so, but luckily I kept ahold of her and no one got hurt. Baby had a rather understandable fear of porta potties for awhile, but got over it - which actually impressed me, given that one of them had, in fact, attacked her! :lol:

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[QUOTE=creseida;3557614]
I went for a lesson at a hunter jumper barn. I was put on a horse, with the knowledge I would be jumping 3’ to 3’6" that day. I was told I would really like this horse, as he was the trainer’s retired jumper who had “won him a lot of money.” How cool!

I picked up a trot and the horse was dead lame. As in it felt like his leg was going to give way at any moment.

I immediately pulled up and the trainer immediately snapped, “Why did you pull up”?

I said, “Because the horse is lame.”

Trainer responds with, “Yes, he has navicular, but he still has to earn his keep”.

My response was, “Dude, you just told me this horse had already won you a lot of money. Has he not already earned his retirement without having to continue to jump whilst almost crippled? Besides, I’m not paying to ride a crippled horse.” I hopped off, tossed him the reins and walked out.[/QUOTE]

YOU ROCK

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I got my first horse, an OTTB, a few weeks ago. My dad watches horse racing but is absolutely not horsey otherwise. Seriously, the only thing we watch on TV together is the Triple Crown and that’s every single year. And you know what, he can name winners and knows where the races are held. So I’d say for a non-horseperson he’s more knowledgeable than average (or so I’d thought). So I came home last night and he asks me how my boy’s doing. Here’s the conversation (roughly):

DAD: So how’s your horse?

ME: Fine.

DAD: He’s an Arabian, right? He looks like the Black Stallion. (aside: he’s a really reddish bay. Not even close to black.)

ME: Umm, no. He’s a racehorse. A Thoroughbred.

DAD: Aren’t Arabians Thoroughbreds?

I had to walk away at that point.

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On the way to the seats, Mrs. Theatre Prof is heard saying, “Ohhhhh myyyyyyy! Is Katie going to jump over all those logs and trees?”

Loretta! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dad: “I was under the impression that for the money I spent on this horse, it would be winning.”

Trainer: “And I thought, given your success in business, you would be able to recognise a poor investment when you saw one.”

I think that one should probably win #1.

“Just sit the canter like you have the biggest c— in you and you don’t want to let go of it”. That to a 14 year old. Some trainers…

I don’t mind “sit up straight and stick your boobies out!” to a 6 or 7 year old kid at home, but this is just obscene. :eek:

“Why is he lame. Just canter.”

Anybody top that one?

Possibly this is a good example why we need trainer certification on a national level.

I can only hope that the background story to this one was that the horse was older and had a sticky stifle, leading to the intonation being “Why [on earth] is he lame [with all the help he’s had?] Just canter [and see if he loosens up.]”

And I said (in the way that an eight year old has), “No. That’s not right. When you’re excused that means you don’t need to do the hunter circle anymore!”

Loves it! :lol:

That sounds like a trainer that I know very well in this area.

AppendixQHLover, I think we are thinking of the same person. :frowning: I can only hope we are, because I’d hate for there to be two of them!

I forgot to add one more…

The dressage barn I used to ride had a lot of lesson kids that, well, had no idea what they were doing. And a ton of the horses at this place were lame. Lame, lame, lame! A whole bunch of them were lame behind, but were used in lessons anyway. The trainer’s statement on this? “Oh, they’re just not pushing through.” Right.

A girl I know from this barn is now in college with a horse that is STILL lame all over and STILL she says, “Oh yeah, she’s just not pushing through with her hind end.” When pointed out to her that her horse that particular day was lame on her right front, what was her reponse? “Oh, well yeah, that switches ends sometimes.” Last time I checked, the horses FRONT legs had nothing to do with “pushing through”…

[QUOTE=Kementari;3561698]
I was once ground-driving my baby on a VERY windy day, and as we passed the porta potty a huge gust came up and blew the thing over onto her! :eek: Luckily she did the stock still “What the hell is happening?!” thing for about five seconds, which was long enough for the gust to pass and the porta potty to right itself. Then she flipped out…it was quite exciting for a minute or so, but luckily I kept ahold of her and no one got hurt. Baby had a rather understandable fear of porta potties for awhile, but got over it - which actually impressed me, given that one of them had, in fact, attacked her! :lol:[/QUOTE]

Can you imagine the confusion of a future owner if she had held onto that fear of porta potties? I can see the coth thread now…

"I just dont get it…she is totally bomb proof…except…

She is scared of porta potties?! Someone help?:no:"

My trainer told me this story the other day. When her son started riding, he was a little on the late side for a trainer’s son…maybe 10. After doing over fence work for about 3 months, he stopped in the middle of the lesson, just furious and says to her, “I have no idea what’s going on with me today, but you have to fix it.” Trainer says to son, “I don’t see anything. You’re doing great. What’s wrong?”. Son says, “Most days I can see the distances 10 strides out, but today I can’t find it until I’m 4 strides out. FIX IT!!!”. Trainer chuckles and proceeds to tell dear son that many people have to spend years learning to see a distance 3 strides out and he’s still doing fine. He can’t stand not seeing the distances so says the lesson is over and leaves the ring. Yeah, a little snotty, but moral of the story…he’s now a GP rider and so far this year has won more than $80k. If only I could see all my distances 10 strides out!!!

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Wow, I hope you did a nice trot circle in front of them, then locked eyes with those little demons and picked up your stirrups and trotted along your merry way! Slightly immature, but it annoys me when completely uninformed people make comments like that and put others down.

And yes, poor “Suzy” was quite embarrassed. I believe she went into hiding for the rest of the day.

Also the remark about the peed-on purse holder is priceless!

Along the lines of the little boy who saw all his distances 10-strides-out:

A less precocious but nicely-riding little boy, a trainer’s son as well, was in his debut Short Stirrup class. Evidently he was having some troubles with his diagonals because every turn around the ring he would look to his mom at the in-gate and say, “Mom, am I right?” As it happened, in his first class he was called to pick up the trot when he was close to the gate, so it was OK. But in the second class, disaster struck. He was all the way across the ring from Mom when they were asked for the trot! Whom to ask? Down the quarter-line he trots, all the way across the big ring from Mom, whispering, “Mommy, am I right? Mom, am I right?” Of course you had to tell him he was correct. He ended up second in a very big class and was heard later to say to a friend, “My mom’s ears are magic!”

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Dressage Intro A at Rocking Horse a month or so ago. We had a bunch of little kids there - smallest was five, and riding a really tiny pony.

Trainer who is calling the test tells him to track Left, and he pipes up “which way is left?” Ok, some kids are just TOO little, but it cracked me up. I have it on tape somewhere - I’ll try to upload it.

[QUOTE=thatmoody;3562947]
Dressage Intro A at Rocking Horse a month or so ago. We had a bunch of little kids there - smallest was five, and riding a really tiny pony.

Trainer who is calling the test tells him to track Left, and he pipes up “which way is left?” Ok, some kids are just TOO little, but it cracked me up. I have it on tape somewhere - I’ll try to upload it.[/QUOTE]

And this is the exact reason why when we sent a kid about the same age to a show in a walk/trot intro test we made sure that they were wearing 2 different gloves. Instead of track left, it was turn towards the brown glove, or circle towards the black glove. She knew her right and left but couldn’t think about it that quickly while riding.

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Ohhhh poor Winston

Oh I have so many, but this one is fresh in my head.

So I was sitting with some friends (and some of their friends - not typically rated horse show people - which was assumed when they complained about why their Arabian didn’t pin in a hunter hack - but he held his tail so perfectly in the air I just don’t know why :eek:) at Cap Challenge watching the final WHCR rounds on Friday.

Sandy came in on Winston. Amazing horse. They announced some of his accomplishments and what not. The one lady turned and said “I don’t like this horse. He’s ugly.” I said promptly “Well you should! He’s a fabulous horse and did really well at WEF this summer I believe.” Mind you I didn’t really know the horse but he was very attractive and went considerably well.

Well two rounds later… here comes Winston with I believe John French or Scott Stewart… and the lady announces “Ohhh! I love this horse! He’s so handsome! Now that’s a nice looking hunter!” I grumbled under my breath… “That’s Winston. He was in here a few minutes ago. They change riders…same horses.” :rolleyes:

Wow!Come on people… Class clearly announces horse and rider. Ugh. People. :winkgrin:

Good chuckle though.

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:lol:

It does make you stop to think about those weird idiosyncrasies some horses come with, doesn’t it?

This isn’t horse show related, but it does have to do with an idiotic lesson parent.

Parent of a 6 year old child who she obviously can’t keep control of. Child runs around the barn asking questions (as in, “why do horses have feet?”). Trainer can’t keep child on task, which is rather well annoying for trainer. She is a very “no nonsense” type of trainer. First lesson goes ok, and child wants to continue riding.

The next time the child shows up for a lesson shes wearing a DRESS and SANDALS! no joke. The mother let this child come to the barn thinking she could ride in a dress and sandals!

Not to mention that when anyone signs up for their first lesson trainer instructs to wear paddock boots and at least jeans (but breeches are preferred) to every lesson.

oh yes and I forgot to add… child went home that day without having her lesson. Trainer wouldn’t dare let her on or around a horse wearing sandals (or a dress at that lol!) Child never returned.

"“Not exactly a bad thing, but I liked hearing it… I was at a horse show at Foxton Farms in Indiana before I moved to NC. Went around the jump-off course, doing a really tight turn around a jump (think rollback, one stride and jump 3’), as I’m walking out of the ring, the trainer of the next rider says “Don’t even think about trying THAT turn!!””

OK I did not even have to leave the bowels of this thread. The statement above is a good example. 3 foot fence classes are a ridiculous venue for crazy roll backs and maybe just maybe instead of being proud you over heard that statement you should wonder if the trainer you heard it from was making a point to her/his student not to crank around a tiny jump course. Yea so I have been that trainer using the rounds before my students to school them on the good, bad and UGLY and on more than one occasion I have told them DO NOT EVEN think about making that turn after watching someone careen around in a speed bump jumper class! food for thought!