Trail Riding etc with an HIV Infected Person

[Moesha]

Hi Wild Filly,
Here is the link to the Middleburg Classic Horse Show web page. A beautiful horse show that is for the benefit of “Food and Friends” Which is organization dedicated to helping those with AIDS/HIV and other life threatening illnesses have access to basic food and health, and the “Equestrian AIDS Foundation.”

http://www.middleburgclassic.com/

As for the Equestrian AIDS foundation there are many shows and concerts that benefut this great cause you can do an Internet and find many resources unfortunately I do not believe they have a website?

Here is the link for “Food and Friends”
http://www.foodandfriends.org/

Here is there goal.

“Food & Friends prepares, packages and delivers meals and groceries to more than 1,100 people living with HIV/AIDS and other life-challenging illnesses such as breast, lung and colon cancer throughout Washington, DC and 14 counties of Maryland and Virginia. For more than 14 years, Food & Friends has provided food and companionship to our clients, their loved ones and caregivers.”

[Tin]

I have nothing different to add but just want to say welcome Wild Filly! We’re lucky to have you hear and if you ever feel like freezing your tail off you can ride with me anyday

~ Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once ~

[joannej]

A few years ago friend of mine was tested HIV positive, and, honestly, after the initial shock, I never gave it much thought. The medication worked marvelously, and he showed no symptoms, so we just carried on. Maybe this was wrong, but I did not treat him any differently than before. He ended up moving away, and is still doing marvelously, though I do not see him like I used to.

I did not think that the virus could be transmitted by oral contact, as in giving mouth-to-mouth, unless there was a wound in the mouth of the uninfected person. I also did not think the virus could be transmitted by coming in contact with blood, again, unless there was a cut in the area that came in contact. Please correct me if I am wrong.

If my suppositions are correct or even mostly correct, there is no reason, really, to tell anyone. Their risk of infection is quite low, almost non-existent. I suppose you have to follow your conscience on that one. The bracelet sounds like a great idea, though.

I hate to imagine a world where people turn their backs on others at their time of greatest need. WF, God bless you, and carry on!

[This message was edited by joannej on Jan. 27, 2003 at 10:47 PM.]

[Heineken]

Wild Filly…welcome to the BB.
And I can only imagine how hard it is to tell peoplewhat you are going through. I would want to know, but only for YOUR safety. Meds, timing, etc can be important with HIV and the more educated we ALL are, the better the chance we could potentially help you!!! Carrying gloves is a great idea, and a med.alert bracelet also sounds like a great plan. Also make sure SOMEWHERE visible at the barn are your loved ones’ phone numbers and your dr’s number just in case.

Just call me Mrs. Robinson…

[JenL]

Welcome to COTH

I just wanted to say that I really admire you for being so courageous.

Thank you for giving us someone to look up to.

I don’t really have anything to add except maybe seconding the idea of a med alert bracelet or wearing a medical armband.

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear’s path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”~Dune~

[Wild_Filly]

I am sure my friends will still love me, and support me. But in reality they will know and I’m just not ready. You can’t tell by looking at me, I look normal and healthy. Heck, I’m married but I still get hit on every now and then. If people know, they start to look at you different, and if you happen to be sick and you don’t look too good, there is nothing worse than that deafening silence when they don’t know what to say. It’s very uncomfortable for both sides sometimes. Not ready for all that crap! Just want to be the girl they have always known. No pity, no questions, no different.

I’m thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain…JoDee Messina

[jetsmom]

You are going to think I have the most unhealthy family, but my brother died of liver cancer in Aug 97. He was negative for HIV. They had unprotected sex a couple of times before they found out that his soon to be wife was HIV positive. After that they practiced “Safer sex”. He would get tested every 6 months or so. Always negative. As I understand, it is harder for a man to get it from a woman than vice versa. He was her caretaker for her when she got really sick, and took the usual precautions. (Please don’t take what I said to mean that unprotected sex is ok for anyone.) Just realize that just because you are HIV pos, it doesn’t mean that you won’t find a wonderful life partner later on. I kind of like to think that maybe my brother’s purpose in life was to love Marie, and be there for her, and when she passed on, then he went later to join her there.
I just wish that the advances in treatment had been there for her when she had it. By the time she was diagnosed, she was already having problems. Now, they can do so much more.
Keep riding, and enjoying yourself. Don’t worry about what people might think. There are alot more understanding and generous people than there are ignorant ones.

[Freehold]

Congrats for bringing up such a tough subject. I personally think that at least the barn manager and the coach should know, and possibly any regular riding buddies. I love the idea of carrying a first aid kit with gloves. Accidents do happen, so it is best to be prepared. If I were in that situation I think that I’d tell those I actually knew (in a big boarding barn it is a bit much to tell everyone), but I certainly would not hide it. Good luck on the rough road ahead. And keep riding!!

www.freeholdequine.com

[Wild_Filly]

Seamus, what if I fell off, was out cold and bleeding. What if I hadn’t told them? What if something happens?

[caffeinated]

Wow this was a thought provoking post. I kept waffling over what to vote because I couldn’t imagine trying to tell people that. But I ended up voting for the “tell one person” option only in the interests of safety.

If something happens, it’s in everyone’s best interest to know that extra safety precautions might be in order.

Personally I think, though you shouldn’t have to “announce” it, it’s very sad that you feel so much stress about telling people. In this day and age, with SO MUCH INFORMATION available on the subject, one would think that the information would not cause people to react so negatively. If my best friend told me she had HIV, she’d still be my best friend. She wouldn’t have suddenly changed into someone untouchable.

That so many people can have those negative reactions, and back off from former friends, is just amazing to me. I don’t even know what to say- it’s impossible for me to fathom that without experiencing it, and I wish NO ONE had to experience that.

I also like Hopeful Hunter’s idea about having “safe emergency handling procedure” tips added to a newsletter, or other means of getting the appropriate information to people without having to announce it to the world.

and people say gov’t employees are useless… HA!

[jetsmom]

Wild Filly…Welcome to the boards, and bravo for having the guts to broach this subject. My brother married my sister in law knowing she was HIV pos. She passed away Christmas eve in 94. They got to spend too few years together. She never told us she had it and by the time we found out, it was too late. I wish she had allowed us to support her and be there for her. So while telling people must truly be a GIGANTIC leap of faith, it also allows others to show you that they love you for who you are and be there for you. As far as telling riding buddies, I’d say yes, if you are with them often. Just so if something happened they could be safe. If anyone reacts negatively, I just figure that they are either uninformed on what it is or just flat out not the kind of person I would want to be around. The first kind, you can educate, the second, avoid.
Best wishes for good health!

[Fetlocks]

Welcome to the BB! I agree that you should perhaps tell the person most likely to help you (barn manager/trainer) and wear a medic alert bracelet (a good idea if you were to be riding alone and rescue workers responded to the scene of your accident).

Something the rest of us should consider: to the sentiments that you should treat every injury/body fluids as if it is HIV+ I feel that we should also be aware that there are MANY PEOPLE infected with very serious blood diseases that are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV. There are several forms of dangerous hepetitis (blood/liver disease) that there are no effective treatments for and most carriers do not even know they are infected. When I used to work in a hospital contracting hepetitis this was actually a bigger concern for us because it was so much more common than HIV. And as we all know from Aiden’s story, liver transplants are kinda hard to come by and don’t sound like much fun anyway. Everyone should always use caution.

Hang tough, Wild Filly. My cousin died a few years ago from complications related to an HIV infection. Sadly, almost no one knew he was infected because he was a US Navy Officer and worried about backlash…of course, that “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy did a lot to make others similarly situated feel a lot better, I’m sure.

[katarine]

I voted no, it’s no one’s business, buttt…

If you don’t know your barn manager very well, then I can see your hesitation/fear. I’d opt for a medic alert bracelet, and some sort of card in my wallet, on my person somewhere, when I rode- heck, you want ‘rescuers’ to have a chance to know, but as someone stated previously, the smartest response to a medical emergency is to assume the victim IS HIV+ and use appropriate precautions.

Stock your horse trailer with a good human-style first aid kit, and maybe strap a small one to your saddle, in the event you get hurt out on the trail, or you’ve hauled to a trail head and get hurt out there. If the barn has a first aid kit, quietly supply it with fresh gloves every now and then. Touch wood, they’ll rot from lack of use before they’re ever needed.

Also, unless I’m bleeding or cut up too, I’m not going to get HIV from helping you nurse a scraped kneecap and bruised ego, now am I?

I’m a trailrider in Alabama and you’re welcome to ride with me any day of the week.

“Shoot me now! Shoot me now!”
Bugs Bunny

[Lamb]

I think it’s important to remember that precautions should be taken when dealing with blood/bodily fluids whether you know the person is HIV positive or not.

That said, if somebody I was riding with knew they were HIV positive, I would probably appreciate knowing. It certainly wouldn’t stop me from riding with them or performing first aid if necessary, but that way we could both know that we were prepared in case of an emergency.

On the other hand, if they weren’t ready to deal with the emotional burden of telling people yet, I would understand. If somebody wasn’t going to tell people, I might suggest that they do something like organize a first aid course for the barn to stress the importance of protecting yourself when performing first aid, then encourage everybody to carry gloves, etc. with them when they ride. If the person you’re with knows you have gloves, they should be using them whether they know you’re HIV positive or not.

I think this is a great topic to raise, thank you!

[Medievalist]

I personally feel that it is enough for someone to inform the owner/manager and immediate riding buddies of their status in case of an injury, and to perhaps also wear a med-alert bracelet. Other than that, I don’t see why it would present an issue.

Oh yeah, Welcome

[I]March 14th 2003. D(idi)-Day
aserejè ja de jè de jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva,
majavi an de bugui an de buididipi…I loff the ignorance.

Centre Equestre de la Houssaye[/I]

[MarlainaA1]

This is a subject that hits very close to my own heart. A good friend of mine from the past is HIV+ and chose to keep his illness a secret from almost everyone because he was so afraid of the backlash that he might have to face if he revealed this issue to the public. We must remember that although we would all like to think we would say such an illness would not affect how we treated someone, sometimes real life is different. I KNOW how it effects me and I KNOW how I act and react about the situation. Been there, done that… I guess what I am trying to get around to saying is that no one should feel that MUST tell anoyone about their condition (IMHO). While it would be wonderful for the reality to be that HIV+ people would be treated totally equal, this simply is not the case. We aren’t that many years removed from the Ryan White story and many others that were along the same lines. I feel you are doing an excellent thing if you are telling anyone and if you do prepare for the unlikely event that you are injured. Until that injury occurs and someone has the possibility of being exposed, I don’t feel you should have to disclose your condition to anyone that you don’t want to. JMHO guys!

[MardiGras]

Ditto what everyone has said. I think it’s great that you’re coming here and telling your story. Sometimes people get a little too far removed from the presence of invisible minorities.

I think/hope that people are educated enough that they would procede with extreme caution when faced with ANYONE’s bodily fluids. The risks of HIV have been so thoroughly drummed into our heads (possibly to a fault) that as long as you supply gloves, I think you are being more than fair. So I think you should feel absolutely free to tell or not tell anyone you want. As a lesbian I am well aware of my need to come out to people on my terms. Again, kudos.

[Robby_Johnson]

Faith,

Are you saying it’s too painful for you to do what you would normally do? It sounds as if you need to talk about it to someone. It sounds as if you need for these people to know.

What is it that frightens you? A sense that you will be rejected? A sense that you will be ridiculed? A sense that you are inferior because you have HIV?

Remember this - you are a special person who has been given a very large cross to bear. Perhaps you were chosen for this because you are a teacher. Maybe you will be surprised to find that your friends will remain your friends, and your trail riding friends will do the same, and that you will be able to show them that a person with HIV is not on death row. Or some sort of leper. Or intrinsically evil.

You have a face, and you have a voice, and that makes you Wild Filly, and everything that you are is you. I hope that makes sense. Don’t keep it in if your heart is telling you to let it out.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Robby

“Don’t mince words, don’t be evasive
Speak your mind, be persuasive”
Madonna

[Jeannette_formerly_ponygyrl]

Welcome - and congratulations on 14 years !!

As others have said, I don’t think it’s your responsibility to tell people, but if you can tell people - and/or if you (and all of us!!!) can generally educate your (our) barn about universal precautions it would be a good thing.

Almost all of us need more first aid training than we have, actually! Never mind blood, for a minute, but how many people know what would be appropriate response if any of us were unconscious or unable to communicate on the trail? Most bleeding would rank pretty far that as a concern…

Sorry, not to detour the discussion, but the way I see it, it’s all of our responsiblity to have some education to deal with first aid issues, and once we accept that responsiblity, we learn about how to treat everyone, and take the burden from you…

Happy trails!

[Policy_of_Truth]

Hello, Wild Filly! Welcome!

I’m glad you are willing to talk about such a hard subject. It’s very brave

I’m so sorry that you are having to ask such a hard question. I have friends with HIV, and luckily the treatments they recieve are working.

As far as your question, I like the idea of the eventer-type medical info. Carrying latex gloves is an excellent idea!

Tell us a bit about the type of riding you do…we love to talk about our “kids”!

And as for me, I’ll ride with you any day! I’ll lift you up in my prayers this evening