update - I made a mistake here but trainer doesn't seem to be super pissed at me

[Lmabernathy]

Just to play the devils advocate, how available are you for 3 lessons per week? Do the lessons have to be for instance on Fri, Sat, and Sun after 3pm?

On the other hand, do you know for sure that the training rides from her are actually happening? Is your mare getting more broke? I have seen several trainers in my area, say they are going to ride a horse so many times a week and the horse not get ridden at all, the horse being used in lessons with intermediate or advanced children (I’m talking 14 and younger, although they are good riders) and lessons being counted as training rides.

The way this was supposed to go is what I recommend for training anyway. I think you get the most bang for your buck. I never just send a horse for training any more. They always come back skinnier, or covered in rain rot, or not as broke as the impression I was given. If I am there to participate and watch the training, I know exactly how broke they are. I set it up as a lesson basically and if its rescheduled they aren’t touching my horse without me either.

[dontskipthecafe]

40

[roamingnome]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8117370]

I do not know if the training rides are happening, honestly. I’ve asked her to document, but the most I get is one comment per ride, if she writes anything at all. My mare is getting more broke, but that’s because I ride her every single day. I’ve schooled and trained very green horses, I was just having trouble with her very ingrained track mannerisms at first.[/QUOTE]
So you ride her everyday? Were there ever any sweat marks from being ridden earlier that day by said trainer?

[dontskipthecafe]

42

[merrygoround]

I would go. But go quietly, no muss, no fuss. Claim financial problems, plans to move out of state, whatever. If you can afford to pay 30 days, and still move ASAP, do so. If not it is important to avoid recriminations.

[beowulf]

[QUOTE=merrygoround;8117966]
I would go. But go quietly, no muss, no fuss. Claim financial problems, plans to move out of state, whatever. If you can afford to pay 30 days, and still move ASAP, do so. If not it is important to avoid recriminations.[/QUOTE]

Knowing the area that you are in now, I agree – make little fuss and go meekly. IMHO most people seem to (inadvertently) carry around their reputation, you don’t need to make a scene or even say anything to have that dredged up.

Unfortunately, it’s all too common for trainers to say they’ll ride the client’s horse and never do it. I’ve worked for a few, groomed for many, and witnessed many do it. Don’t say anything to incite the bear, but do handle it professionally.

[candyappy]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8116139]
More “good trainer and I couldn’t afford anything else”, unfortunately. Now that the horse has progressed from “hot as all hell racehorse who needs a pro” to just green, though, I think I can handle her myself.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like the horse has benefited from the situation and been given ample attention. I thought you trained horses ( from another thread (w/ dungrulla)) . If you are unhappy with the results a face to face talk might be in order.

[ESG]

I agree with ^^this^^. Just up and go. Do it quietly and don’t talk about Trainer unless asked; and when asked, be charmingly evasive, using phrases like, “I learned a lot”, followed by another big smile. And leave it at that.

[HungarianHippo]

[QUOTE=ako;8116696]
Wow. I’m all for giving notice EXCEPT in the case of major, major issues such as fraud or abuse. This is fraud. Leave. Without paying another dime, assuming you have paid for April and can move by the end of the month. Heck, I’d even send her a letter after I moved my horse and threaten to take her to small claims court.

ETA: I would also report her in the form of bad reviews, getting the news out, etc. She will continue to defraud people if nobody stands up.[/QUOTE]

I think this course of action is way over the top given the facts that weknow. Good luck finding some other barn who wants someone like that as a boarder. And what’s happened is simply not “fraud.” It’s two people with very different expectations that neither one has bothered to put in writing, and yet they’re disappointed that the other person didn’t just know. They don’t have a written contract, and OP hasn’t documented or protested the “breaches” of the verbal agreement until just recently.

OP, Send a letter documenting that you gave verbal notice on the training on xx date in April, and that there is to be no training on May. If things get
too uncomfortable-- you never know, maybe it won’t be that bad–line up a boarding situation and give your 30 days notice in writing. Don’t skip out without notice.

[ako]

I disagree. Different expectations would have been resolved when the OP initially voiced concerns. Assuming the OP has tried to talk to the trainer, tried to book lessons at reasonable times, etc, then the trainer has charged for a service she intentionally and repeatedly did not provide. Sorry, call it what you will, but there are no excuses for that. Some disagreement around the margins, yes, but only a tiny, tiny fraction of committed lessons over multiple months? That’s not poor communication, that’s dishonesty. The horse’s safety has to come first, but aside from that, I see no reason to continue to pay somebody who is clearly not providing a service for which she is charging.

If a mechanic charges you for services not rendered? Repeatedly, and not erroneously? What do you call that? I call it fraud. Why is this any different?

[OverandOnward]

Should I try that with my employer?

“You can’t fire me. You have to let me work here for full pay for 30 more days … if I work or not. It doesn’t matter that you are fairly certain I’ve done very little of the work I’m claiming to have done.”

Employer replies “well ok” and then complains on a public BB about it.

Or … employer says “don’t let the door hit you” and I find myself standing on the sidewalk with no references for the next job, since I sucked so bad at this one.

OP, if there is no contract you can terminate the arrangement at any moment and there is nothing trainer can do about it. Except make mouth noises about it … and you have ways of avoiding that as well.

Why do you care what the trainer thinks? or says?

[dontskipthecafe]

49

[atr]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8118894]

I kind of care what trainer thinks/says because the equine community is small and I don’t want to get a reputation for being trouble.[/QUOTE]

I mean this kindly and as a caution to you.

You have made yourself very identifiable on this widely read BB… Trainer is probably entirely aware at this point of your opinion, or will become so pretty soon.

You might want to think about some editing?

[OverandOnward]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8118894]
… I kind of care what trainer thinks/says because the equine community is small and I don’t want to get a reputation for being trouble.[/QUOTE]

That horse left the barn the minute you went to the internet.

Trainer doesn’t even have to look for it herself. Sooner or later a “friend” will print it out and hand it to her.

[Crockpot]

So you ride her everyday? Were there ever any sweat marks from being ridden earlier that day by said trainer?

Never. Trainer says it’s because horse is fit and she only rides her briefly.
Last edited by dontskipthecafe; Apr. 23, 2015 at 02:45 PM.

Why did you delete the bit that said the horse sweats when you ride her?

[TWH_Girl]

@dontskipthecafe;8115602

A

As I’ve also mentioned on COTH, the entire point of my training board was for me to get three lessons per week on my horse. I want to learn to ride and school my horse, I don’t want Trainer to just fix my mare for me. And she agreed to this arrangement three months ago.

Having a horse in training is different than taking riding lessons. Some riding instructors are great trainers (bonus!) but not every trainer is a good riding instructor. It doesn’t sound like you matched what you were looking for with the trainer you found. Definitely move (which is stressful I know) and then start looking for a good riding instructor so that YOU can be a better rider for your horse.

[ESG]

Unless you have an employment contract, the above situation would be impossible. Apples and oranges. In the OP’s case, she’s paying for a service. In your scenario, you’re being paid to render a service, and you’re not doing it. Again, apples and oranges.

[dontskipthecafe]

55

[S1969]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8120853]
I’ve spoken with trainer, explained that I vented because I was frustrated, and apologized. She seems to understand. I’m staying there unless things get bad. I’m 21 and she is aware that I am mentally ill and occasionally very bad at communicating in person. I did not name her, and I’ve tried to remove any identifying or particularly harsh comments.[/QUOTE]

OK. But listen - having a mental illness is not an excuse for inappropriate behavior nor is it an excuse for you to be treated differently by others. Only in school do people with identified disabilities get “extra time” or a “different environment” to complete tasks/tests, etc.

So…time to be a grown-up now. You are 21, you are a paying customer, and your medical situation should be pretty private and/or between you and your close friends and family. You are allowed to vent, just be careful of where, and to whom, you do so.

I said after your first post on this subject that it sounds like the trainer is taking advantage of your age and naiveté. If you were 45 and had owned and boarded for 20 years you would probably be treated quite differently.

However, you will be treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. Be clear with your requests, expect follow through, and be willing to talk directly to the trainer when things don’t happen as expected. If you don’t expect professionalism, you can’t necessarily expect it. If this barn/trainer can’t offer it - either decide that’s ok with you, or move.

I wish you the best of luck. Boarding is hard.

[Mosey_2003]

FYI, the fastest way to make sure more people look at something you don’t want them to is to delete the title and replace it with “.”