One person comes off as a bad person with this post and it isn’t the OP.
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“Like”… what is with the Karen references? Maybe you have her martingale, or know where it’s at.
Yall need a better barn culture. Grow [edit] up.
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Sure, she could check my unlocked trunk for her martingale:)
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- It is super rude and unacceptable to reveal someone’s name online before they do. Not cool. I’ve left my quote vague so you can edit your post.
edited to add, after making it 4 pages in and quitting: yes I board with OP and she is the most Karen person I’ve ever met in my entire life- I once stood behind her shoulder while she made a scene over points or an upgrade or some [edit] checking into an LQ while I made sympathetic eye contact with the legit scared front desk worker. Like… textbook Karen through and through!
- “Karen” is a word used for a white woman who harasses minorities (generally black people specifically as opposed to any minority) for being innocently engaged in the activities daily life. OP is not doing anything of the sort.
I agree with the person who said this barn culture needs an overhaul. Some of y’all seem just wretched. (And not the OP.)
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Not what I said.
What I said was, should your inexpensive stall cleaner come with this bad habit, can you easily fill the spot with another person who does better… or doesn’t have an equally bad habit (not showing up, phone breaks longer than working times, unreliable transportation, looking to take another, better job ASAP).
This isn’t giving lower-paid workers an ethical pass; it is pointing out the pragmatic problem the BO faces should she summarily fire a barn worker because a boarder wants her to.
See how it plainly doesn’t work when you trot out a strawman version of the other guy’s argument?
Not what I or any of us said.
The point, rather, was that the BO might have a hard time if she summarily fired the BW because Nickelodeon wanted her, too. Folks who do $10 jobs well and for a long time are hard to find. If you dumped this one at the end of the week, could you have that position filled by next Monday? Would you have to compromise on other important fronts-- person has a transportation problem or a phone problem or really would like to find another job ASAP? My point, made to the OP and others about her wanting some “consequences” meted out was that the BO might be constrained.
Now if boarders want to pay enough that stall cleaning becomes a better-paying job, some of the problems that come from not having lots of choices in a labor pool will go away.
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Actually, this makes sense. IIRC, psychologists have discovered that lots of petty crime (I think they were talking about small-time shoplifting) has some rage behind it-- sticking it to The Man. it was not far off from ripping off pens or a ream of printer paper from your office.
It’s not just that someone feels entitled, or, on the other hand, that they are so poor that they are stealing bred to feed their family, thereby being stuck in a bit of an Antigone ethical conflict.
In this case, it doesn’t sound like the source of the rage was the therapeutic riding center’s or the job. it was what it was. But the kid sounded pissed that she had to have that job at all.
I have no idea what motivation drives the OP’s barn worker. She has been made to sound like a devious little snot. We’ll never hear any other sides to this story, so there’s no point in trying to figure that out. But it does stand to reason that treating employees well is the “carrot” that helps them stay on the team, and that might work better than “stick,” which is where this thread started.
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Why read that whole, fair-minded and helpful post-- complete with a productive, even-handed script for the OP and instead suggest this disproportionate and ineffectual response? Honest to God: Why is this helpful?
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I find it so bizarre that this person has no shame. I don’t understand people who feel no remorse or embarrassment for being caught in a lie or theft or wrongdoing. I (and many people I know) are mortified of being called out for something EVEN WHEN WE AREN’T IN THE WRONG. Or for a misunderstanding. I don’t want people to even question if I am a thief or a liar to the point I probably care what people think too much!
To use someone’s stuff and claim it as my own IN FRONT OF THEM (the vest) blows my mind.
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This is pretty far from the truth. Like a bad summation on a book jacket written by someone who only skimmed the book.
OP has said multiple times they aren’t sure how they want this handled, that’s why they came here. Don’t think they are out for blood or termination, just a resolution so their stuff stops disappearing.
BO’s action/inaction doesn’t speak to her valuation of either person. We have no clue how BO thinks/feels about this situation since they aren’t here to tell us so that is pure dramatization and speculation on your part.
Don’t feel OP has aggressively challenged anyone. Asked questions? Yes. Framed situations to see how someone would handle something? Yes. But I feel many have been considerably more aggressive than OP on this thread.
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Well this thread had a twist. Regardless of why someone is stealing, it’s never okay. Regardless of how one feels about the OP, stealing is not okay. I have never worked at or boarded at a barn where an employee caught stealing still has a job. I also don’t board at places with a program like the OP. Maybe that’s the difference?
To whoever said the OP got her stuff back so therefore it’s not stealing, nope. If someone steals your car, takes a joy ride in it, ditches it and the police return it to you, the car was still stolen. It doesn’t matter that it was returned. It was still stolen.
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Meh… an immature person who knew it was wrong got caught and doubled-down on the lie. I don’t think you can swing a dead cat in a crowded room without hitting at least a few people who have done that at least once in their life.
It’s ignorant and lame and my second set of jaws would come out like in Alien if someone did that to me. But I’m not saying I haven’t done it to someone else at some point. Good thing they only had the one set of jaws.
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My summary is spot on. The title of the thread is "What would your expectation be of the Barn regarding consequences? Not resolution – CONSEQUENCES (i.e. PUNISHMENT). OP’s “expectations” of the BO’s handling of the situation have not been met (otherwise why would she have initiated this thread?). One need only “skim the book” to recognize this as the only logical conclusion regarding the purpose of this thread. OP wants validation from the “court of COTH” that she is right and that the SM should be terminated.
We know exactly how BO feels. Twice OP has gone to BO about alleged “theft” of items that OP left out. And the BO’s actions in the face of this speak volumes. BO has to know that OP might leave if BO fails to terminate SM. Yet, BO didn’t terminate SM. Again the only logical conclusion is that BO would rather lose OP than SM.
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“Karen” is not just used in that context… it is also a reference to just plain dumb stuff. Check the multitude of memes all over Facebook!
I cannot believe that someone would launch into this discussion and smirk and name names and preen and what not. What a truly disturbed barn that must be - and none of those attitudes would have lasted long in our big boarding barn. Not the self-entitled employee (you can be proud of your job and PROFESSIONAL no matter what level you work at or how many stalls you clean *) or any boarder seeking to create drama…
At our boarding barn - if such a situation arose, there was a core of boarders (and me - adding that to my doing the smaller breeding barn next door) who would happily pitch in to help clean 28 box stalls for as a long as it took to get new stall cleaners… I cannot imagine being part of a barn where that would not happen or where boarders would not step up and make that offer. Even our handyman gladly pitched in.
Mind you, the only times we did have to do that was for injury or illness or freak snowstorms - and in part of the transition period when we sold the barn and the new owners were taking over (a nightmare for another thread). Boarders had a discount applied to their board for helping out but a couple of them refused that offer.
I guess you are doing something right when you have the same core of boarders for 10, 15, 20 years… and the same staff. It was devastating to see that supportive community shredded by a new BO who was both clueless as to what they had (boarders willing to help in any way at any time) and how to run a barn. They now go through stall cleaners on a regular basis and are always advertising/begging/pleading for help. Red flags there.
* We have had the same gentle man cleaning the smaller barn here on my days off and occasional vacations (BO sold the big boarding barn and arena next door but kept the breeding/foaling/retirement farm) for as long as I have been here - 20 years. Is he fast? No. Is he careful and precise and professional and proud of what he does? Yes. Every stall is “floated” so the shavings are an even carpet. Every stall is swept back from the door in a perfect straight line. He is paid per stall and not by the hour - as is the case with most of the BH in this area. He has his own private little business and a little blue book listing all his clients (smaller barns only) and his meticulous, organized schedule. I dread the day he decides that he is done. He was upset that I asked him not to come for a while due to COVID-19 but has been back the past 2 weeks. I sanitize the equipment he likes to use and set it out for him…
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Wow, I wouldn’t want to board at the barn and it’s not because the OP is a “Karen” or there’s a sticky fingered barn worker.
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OP has indicated she has not had any follow-up regarding the vest incidence with the barn owner so nobody knows if or how BO is addressing things now that there had been an additional instance. BO may have figured the gloves were a one-off situation or a misunderstanding.
There can be lot of things that can be consequences that don’t involve firing. BO could put her on probation, could reduce her hours, could terminate “free rides” on barn horses, could tell her she can’t keep a tack trunk there if she doesn’t own her own horse, could decide to not give her a raise. Maybe this BW gets work scheduling preferences, or riding preferences or lesson time/horse preferences so she could have that preferential treatment curtailed. If the BO feels that the barn worker is targeting OP then she could restrict BW from going to the barn OP keeps her horses in and have another BW always do the barn work for that barn.
It sounds like with the glove instance the BO let OP address it with the lost and found suggestion. BO may have figured it was handled and never addressed it again with BW. Personally I think that BO should have been the one to address it with BW and not had the boarder do it.
If your conclusion was the only logical one then why are you the only one that came to that conclusion?
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You’re thinking of Becky. Karen asks to speak to the manager.
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Also, I think they have different hair.
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OMG. I almost spit out my popcorn! Well done.
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Becky with the good hair…
This thread has turned into such a dumpster fire and wow, holy personal attacks that I do not think that Nick deserves.
I only know Nick in that she is friends with a friend of mine and they used to board at the same barn, but I do not in any way, shape, or form believe that she deserves most of the crud being spewed here.
She has fully admitted that she shouldn’t have left her stuff out but we all know that it happens occasionally, and in one instance, she was on her way to the ER(!!). She has also said that she truly did not know what to do and was asking for feedback, which I guess means tear apart all of her choices to make her a bad guy in some people’s minds.
I’m thankful that in my barn, we have all been around for so long that we know what belongs to whom just by looking at it and we will all gladly let a new person know if they have mistakenly picked up someone else’s belongings.
Through work and COVID, I haven’t been able to see my horse for 3 months now and I know that his blankets are waiting for me to pick them up and have not been claimed by barn staff or boarders just because I haven’t been able to get to them yet. That’s even with them knowing that I bought him all new blankets for next season already, so I don’t need them and will probably donate them for a lesson horse anyway.
Anyway, the little I know about Nick is that she is driven, whether it is to do with her family, career, or horses/dogs. She seems like a problem solver and sometimes that kind of focus may come off as something else, but there is still a person behind whatever one thinks they see and no person deserves to have their things taken, regardless of what you may, mistakenly or not, think of them.
Stealing is bad, not being a thief is good. I can’t believe there are questions about that.
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