Fellow COTHers of the inflammatory and not so inflammatory kind, I have an update!
- The VEST: I had a nice chat as a follow up with BO. I had explained to her what had happened but we hadn’t had a chance to catch up on next steps until over the weekend. BW’s side of the story was that the vest was left in the covered ring for 2 weeks with no claimants, so she took it. I find this plausible but not probable (if that makes any sense). I definitely lost the vest on that day, and I DID ride in the covered arena when I got bucked off. I remember taking the vest off before I rode the horse (at my trunk), but I will admit given the trauma of my injuries the entire morning is a bit fuzzy for me.
The two weeks after the fall, I rode very little, and when I did it was on a trail ride. I didn’t check the covered for my vest, as I had no reason to think it would be there. I did however ask a close friend who rides in the covered all the time, and she said that she had not seen my bright pink vest in there, and had she, she would have grabbed it. So the timing of when it was taken, and her excuse for doing so remains unknown.
That said, given we are in the time of COVID, there weren’t any public lessons or extra people at the barn. The fact still remains that even if she didn’t know it was mine, she had to know it was somebody’s and that she should have returned it to the lost and found. The BO stated that she too, is somewhat at a loss. The gloves are really not that big of a deal, but she was given guidance both by BO and by myself (with permission of BO) on the proper way to handle the situation in the future, which she then failed to do. Is it just poor judgement? Is it something more intentional? I don’t know, neither does BO. I absolutely feel empathy for trying to find a replacement BW, it is not easy to do for the roles and responsibilities BW has. Which by the way, I have never outlined but on which a lot of assumptions have been made.
For now my take away from our conversation is that, the BW is on notice, and will be watched more closely. The good news is that I felt no more or less valued by the BO than I have in the 4 years of mutual respect I have enjoyed as a client, or the previous 22ish years I have known her as an acquaintance and a friend.
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The MARTINGALE: On the day that the vest reappeared on the BW’s body, I told her that I was missing a stick and a martingale as well, and if she had either, please return it. This morning when I arrived at the barn, my missing martingale (since February) was back on the hook from which it was lifted! Was it the BW who had an epiphany? Was it someone else who realized they accidentally mixed it in with their tack? I will never know, but I am glad that it’s back safe and sound.
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The STICK: I found the stick today down at the ring on the table where people put their drinks. I haven’t mentioned this because I didn’t want to come off as defensive, but the stick actually was labeled with one of those monogram stickers. So I know it’s mine. The stick was laying with someone else’s spurs. I can safely assume someone had a wild horse and dropped the stick and the spurs while riding. Newsflash! I didn’t take the spurs as mine, but left them there in hopes that the owner will return for them. If they’re still there by the end of the week, I will put them in the lost and fond.
All in all here is what I have learned:
- I need to do a better job putting my stuff up, but I’m human. I’m thoroughly impressed by those that have never left anything out in their life, that’s definitely not me.
- I am really hated by a lot of people for reasons unknown to me. I have always had a so-called “strong personality” but that is part of what makes me, me.
- Even though I repeated over and over that I was looking for feedback, not trashing BO decision or lack thereof, some people can’t wrap their head around it. I wasn’t looking to stir the pot, actually quite the opposite. I was hoping to understand what (if any) consequences might someone expect in this situation. It has run the gambit of I’m the worst client ever for leaving my gloves out, to that BW should be fired on the spot. The reality is probably somewhere in between. I don’t think it’s a fire-able offense, but I also don’t think it can go unnoticed given the bigger implications of what sticky fingers might pick up next.
- People do really think that finders-keepers is a proper way to live their life. And that they are holier than thou! that is mind boggling to me.
Thanks to everyone who stuck it out for this 10 page thread. I do value the variety of feedback that I have received, and it did make me take a step back and think about my own reaction. Be it tied to stress from the fall, from COVID, or from my base personality.
I will honestly say, in the 20 years I have posted on COTH, I don’t think I’ve ever had such a crazy thread. In some ways I feel proud. 
