FWIW back when the gloves went missing, I also talked to the BO, and told the BO that I was going to ask the Barn Worker to put things she finds in the lost and found. The BO agreed with this approach.
FWIW #2 The gloves are unmistakably mine. Unique enough that they weren’t mistaken by accident.
I am quite shocked at some of the responses on here. Victim blaming.
The employee obviously knew the vest was left there by someone that had been there yet chose to wear it. I don’t know how many people are at your barn…but I have left a jacket on occasion from peeling off layers and it ends up in my trunk or on my stall blanket rack. No one would ever just wear it a mere 6 weeks later. Same with gloves. They would sit around for ages until the person that lost them claimed them.
My first reaction, if you have things missing so do others in the barn. I would inform the barn owner of the scenarios and expect them to deal with it. I also wonder how long this employee has been there?
Not sure what the answer is because your BO isn’t handling this the way I would expect a BO to do, but also you don’t want to change barns – so I think really your only option is to lock up your stuff.
I had a thief in my barn last fall. It was infuriating. She stole gloves, brushes, sponges, boots, and once a whole bag of a boarder’s horse stuff to take home and wash – then left it strewn all over the farm. I couldn’t bring myself to fire her but I did replace what she made off with out of my own pocket.
Luckily, the puppy is almost a year old now and her petty theft days seem mostly over.
I did a few posts later, kind of. I participate in Tack and Groom often which means someone else tacks up my horse. My trainer also does rides. Locking my things away isn’t feasible (and as said won’t solve my own forgetfulness.
Totally get that, OP. Can you keep your nice stuff at home and leave older stuff at the barn? I might buy some used “schooling tack” I didn’t mind losing in that situation. I definitely wouldn’t leave my really nice stuff to be pilfered. If trainer minds using stiff, cheap bridles and a $5 plastic crop, she can fix the petty theft problem.
I am always sad to hear of barns with theft problems. I board at a big barn–think 100 horses. I’ve never had anything gone missing, even if I left it out. I have left my saddle on the aisle rack for 2 days. Left my coffee cup in the aisle. Nobody takes anything unless it’s theirs. It’s very disheartening to think people take stuff that doesn’t belong to them.
I lock my trunk, but my bridles and saddles are in a tack room.
I’ve never absolved myself of responsibility for putting my stuff away. To be clear, the gloves were in december (5 months ago), the vest was 6 weeks ago (after I had taken a particularly bad tumble off my horse and couldn’t even untack on my own), the crop is my fault for leaving it out for an extended amount of time and I’m not griping about. What I am griping about is showing up to the barn to someone else wearing my vest. My only ask is to either leave it there, or put it in the lost and found.
I will admit to my own forgetfulness. It’s no for lack of trying but usually is due to the fact that I’m always rushing out to get to call, my kid, a meeting, or whatever. Not an excuse, just life. But also 2-3 things a year doesn’t seem particularly offensive to me (but I’m a forgetter).
I didn’t see the update. That’s too bad, it might have helped allay sticky fingers.
I think it is a bit mean if a person has been injured and taken to Hospital with amnesia, that a vest will not be put with their stuff, but instead be given away or thrown out after 2 weeks when the person may be worrying about ever walking again.
The only thing that is really going to work is the employer coming down on them like a ton of bricks and firing if it ever happens again.
That and security cameras.
I’m kind of surprised at all the blaming of the OP, but then again I would never take something I knew wasn’t mine unless it had been in a lost and found for a loooong time, I’d asked around, and then asked my boss if I could have it. I probably wouldn’t even do that, but I certainly wouldn’t just take it - even if I wasn’t sure who it belonged to.
I think it’s clear that barns handle this a lot of different ways. I do tend to agree that leaving things out in a boarding situation tends to lend to them growing legs, and that’s just part of boarding (as wrong as I still think it is). But I also wouldn’t say the employee was stealing in the sense that she went through your tack trunk and outright pilfered those things. She may not have known it was your vest, just that it had been sitting out for a couple weeks, she could have been freezing and grabbed it to wear since no one had claimed it. I actually have probably done that before - not in an intention to take it permanently but in a “I’m freezing my ass off and this jacket has been in the tackroom for 2 weeks so I’m going to borrow it since I forgot my coat.” But any which way, it’s not like she outright stole it from your car or tack trunk…or maybe she knew exactly who’s it was and just decided she wanted it. It’s hard to say.
I don’t know - you could see this from a lot of perspectives and a lot of it comes down to how your barn owner handles these things and the culture at your barn. Obviously that varies widely, as shown by the reactions on this thread!
I do think you’ve gotta wrap your head around the fact that in boarding barns, stuff does go missing. It’s not right, but it happens. I’ve had a set of eskadrons outright stolen by a kid (who was kicked out by the barn owner for doing so), I’ve had girths go missing and never come back, I’ve found girth’s on other people’s racks, I’ve found my girth on my rack but coated in white hair :mad: I had a nice standing martingale go missing but another was placed on my hook in its place (that was really weird!), I’ve had sticks go missing…it happens. Once at a show I left out my longe line and chambon and someone had taken it by the time I remembered to go look for it. People borrow, people steal, people leave stuff out, people mistake things for their own…it sucks and it always irritates me for sure, but I do think it’s part of boarding. Your best defense is to put your stuff away. I’m a forgetter too, so maybe write a post it on your trunk or something to remind yourself to check before leaving.
Um hey folks…what ELSE is barn worker getting through the “five finger discount”??? Just saying
I am in a similar situation. If someone wanted my stuff, it’s hanging right there for them on the wall.
What helps me -
There is absolutely no excuse for sticky fingers. The martingale being gone would infuriate me. The vest would infuriate me. The other two things would torque me off but the OP holds just a titch of personal responsibility to it, but still. Put it in a commonly seen area with hopes the actual owner will see it, and don’t steal it. Jesus.
No hospital, no amnesia. I hit my head, shoulder, and cracked up my ribs but good.
I have boarded my whole life and have been through all of the above too. It’s part of the territory. Annoying, but part of it. One of my favorite stories was when I had a pair of reins go missing, and when someone went to return them, they replaced with a pair of edgewood reins (the previous reins were a dover cheapy brand). So odd.
The difference here (to me) is that there is an employee involved. That is what I’m struggling with. Someone earlier said that I’m not getting what I want out of this because I’m reactionary. I don’t even know what I want. I actually like the barn worker, and think she does a good job at the things she does for the barn. A valuable employee who does good work. However when I showed up and she was wearing my vest, I was beside myself.
Make sure all of your possessions are labeled in a very visible place and an unseen place. Ask to see the BM and the employee together about what has happened. If your stuff has gone missing I’m betting so has other’s. Do you have a locker that can be locked?
The victim blaming is gross, but par for the course.
I would be furious if someone was wearing my vest. I’d also be surprised and hurt that no one thought to help me out after a bad fall and put it up for me. On the other hand, I board with friends, including the BM, and would be shocked if any of them took my things without asking and then didn’t put them back. We all borrow equipment sometimes but we are also very good friends who vacation together, etc., and we respect each other.
I have been at barns where things went missing and it made me crazy, but I’ve never known the thief; if I had I would have talked with the BO/BM and asked them to handle it. It’s the job of the person running the place to ensure that their employees are not taking clients’ things, and to do something about it if they are. I wouldn’t want to board with someone who wouldn’t take on that responsibility. Riding is expensive enough without having to replace things someone else decided to take.
The vest is so perplexing. No one saw it and thought “oh my gosh, Nickelodian forgot her vest. Better put it with her stuff.” I would have done that and texted , “hey, hope you are okay. Found your vest and put it on your trunk.” Just so WEIRD that she would take it and then WEAR it at the barn! Takes a lot of nerve to do that! Completely bizarre. And unacceptable.
I’m always reminded how glad I am to have my own place. Lots of work and limits vacations. But very little drama.
No thankfully not for you. Yay.
But others are saying that if something is not claimed in 2 weeks or less they give it away or throw it away.
I was talking about any boarder who leaves a vest out after a fall and why the vest is not the first thing on their minds.
I mean it was a vest and the fall would be known. Everyone would have known who’s vest it is. Just put it with the boarders stuff. It takes virtually seconds. It is not rocket science. It is not a big deal. A vest is not cheap like a hoof pick.
The one thing that most people do not do is pick it up and start riding in it.
Too right I would be upset.
I have left gloves and a riding helmet. They were there when I returned. Sometimes 2 weeks if I missed a lesson.
I didn’t say anything but I was upset when I left my saddle to be ridden on my mare by the barn helper and I turned up and they were riding their own horse in it. Yes a much nicer saddle than they had.
I didn’t say anything. I just thanked them and arranged to take my mare and saddle home.
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