Doesn’t matter. A thief is a thief is a thief. What a crappy barn culture.
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As this statement is particularly inflammatory. I didn’t accuse anyone of stealing from me. I found things that I owned in possession of someone else. One left out on accident, one left out after an accident. So to be clear, you think that if something is left out you have every right to commandeer it as yours? You don’t consider that theft? So if you found someone’s credit card you’d have a hey day at best buy? Right? I mean someone was careless enough to lose it, 65" inch TV for you!
But why stop there? When I fell I actually left my HORSE and all of his TACK out. Given I couldn’t get back on, a (non sticky finger) barn worker helped me get my horse to the barn where I left him with all of his tack on in a halter on the cross ties. The intention was for my trainer to get on him for me. But I had to leave. Based on your stance, the sticky finger barn worker now has right to my horse, my tack, everything in my tack trunk (left open). Oh! I also have blankets that are left on my horses’ stall doors. I guess they’re open game too! The list goes on and on.
If there is no line to be drawn on when someone’s stuff is considered stolen and when it’s not then it’s just anarchy. You can’t simply help yourself to something because it’s left out for a day or a week. You put it in the lost and found and then the person who is responsible for cleaning the lost and found can deal with it then if no one claims it.
I might sound reactionary here, but I’m just trying to make a point, that taking things that aren’t yours regardless of where you found them can be considered stealing.
I have multiple show horses, who attend every show I can manage, and an up and coming little one for whom I will likely get a top pony (or two). I always pay my bills on time. I try in lessons. I tip well. You’re right, I’m a super fun client.
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Nik- I am wondering if any other boarders had an issue (hard to ask at risk of being a pot stirrer). A light hearted " Anyone missing anything lately?" No details. Some can do it (I have that gift of self deprecation " Oh goodness. I keep leaving my stuff out and it walks away. I need a radio tracking collar on my things."
Did you say how old this person was?
So to me- I’d be annoyed no doubt. I don’t know if she is a “thief” but
- person doesn’t have real good set boundaries
- she’s one of those people who just thinks if it is loose- it is up for grabs
- heck just think I described a their
Totally not excusing it. I just think - yes you have a right to be annoyed. You talked to the BO and go a tepid response. Make a mental note and enjoy your barn, horses and kid. Try not to let it get under your skin and watch your stuff.
As a working parent (my kid is older than yours but still) who is used to being remote but dealing with Covid, craziness, lack of horse shows, I GET needing to vent. Sorry some people are being douchebags, maybe they need a meds refill.
You’re prob a great client (hey- all clients get annoying anyway at some point), the BO/BM probably has a lot going on to deal with (much like yourself/myself etc). I doubt they did not take it seriously- perhaps it is on a backburner.
PS- you may regret getting kiddo a pony. Not only does mine now ride her ponies, she has stolen my BWP mare for lessons. Be careful what you wish for ba ha ha.
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Is this happening to anyone else on the property? I mean, I am kind of a weirdo and do have a pile of gloves in my tack locker (different colors, warmth level and state of deterioration–I’ll lunge in a ratty pair that isn’t quite dead yet for example). But my trainer who went through my locker to tack up and ride my horse for me commented on my weird pile of gloves. I somehow doubt this worker is a weirdo like me but maybe has collected other “lost” gloves from the pile in her trunk?
I think how I’d expect the boss to handle the situation would depend on the scale of the problem, not that your two incidents are excusable but maybe not worth firing her?
I would be a lot more livid about the martingale, although I have lost plenty of them at in gates over the years picked up by someone during/after the under saddle. Could be an innocent mistake, but seems like if it’s not stolen it should be able to be found. I had a bottle of coat conditioner out with my grooming stuff while I was riding and one of the trainer’s part time grooms picked it up thinking it belonged to another horse and put it away with that horse’s stuff. Easy enough to track down, nothing nefarious about it, and not worth nearly as much as a nice martingale.
I once saw a ground squirrel with a removable strap from a Hampa-type boot. I still wonder about some sort of bizarre squirrel bondage ritual.
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I certainly understand why the OP is upset, especially given that the gloves were in the employee’s box and that she seemed to be avoiding the OP while wearing the vest.
But the trickier issue is what is expected of the BO. Even OP admits that she isn’t sure what she wants done in the circumstances. The BO may well be struggling with the same question. She has an employee that does all of her job duties without significant issue (that we are aware of), but for two instance of wearing forgotten items. If there was evidence of theft, the decision would be more clear cut. But BO likely has been given an explanation by the employee that chalks the issue up to inadvertence/convenience not malicious intent. Or she may feel that the OP is overreacting.
But even if the BO doesn’t quite buy the explanation, do we expect her to be firing someone for these two minor incidents? To take the chance on a new employee who may be worse and/or not able to perform all the substantive aspect of the job? That strikes me as extreme.
Something less than firing? Quite possibly, but I’m not sure the OP or the other boarders are entitled to the details. Employee may well be on a three strikes and you are out plan, but it wouldn’t be fair, IMO, to broadcast that to the entire barn.
So, my answer to the OP’s questions is ultimately that I would expect my BO to treat my concerns seriously, and indicate she was going to deal with it. Ideally also an apology from the employee, and confirmation that the employee has been instructed to place the forgotten items in the lost and found.
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Having boarded at places where things went missing or “borrowed”, it’s extremely annoying and I’d be pissed. I work hard for my stuff and to be able to afford my horse and just because something is left out, it doesn’t NOT mean you can use it. Do you let people at work rifle through your desk and borrow stuff?
Im now at a barn where no one steals anything (very small barn) and yet I still had four buckets with pink duct tape with my name on it go missing. Sometimes, it’s part of boarding, but it’s still not acceptable.
i would approach the person one more time, inform her that if she finds anything, it must be placed in lost and found. If you find her with your stuff again, you’ll be escalating to barn owner and her parents. I’d keep a record of each time it happens (date and time) and then if it happens again, approach the BO (calmly).
otherwise, label everything and triple check to make sure all your stuff is picked up. People who leave their crap all over the common areas are annoying too
OP I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s a violation. I’m a person that almost never ever forgets and leaves things out when I leave for the day. But even I’ve occasionally had that happen. We’re all human.
The gloves I find offensive - you said they’re not your typical standard black Rockel gloves that everyone has. Easily identifiable. And you found them IN THE EMPLOYEES TACK TRUNK. So she (or he) had to know they weren’t theirs (as they are not the normal gloves that person has) and took them and put them in with their stuff in their trunk. Did not put in lost and found. Simply picked up and put in with their belongings. Strike one.
The martingale is concerning. Labeled and put away where it belonged when it disappeared. However it hasn’t turned up in the employee’s possession, so you have to assume they don’t have it until proven otherwise. Suspicious but nothing proven. I’d ignore this, even though the missing martingale would upset me as well.
The vest would have me livid. A super easily identifiable item of clothing that was left behind by accident when you were injured and had to go to the hospital. There is no “oh this looks just like mine”, or “oh i didn’t know whose this was and so I claimed it after it was left for 90 days in the lost and found”. This was blatant out-and-out theft. She picked up your item, which she had to know was yours, and then basically paraded around wearing it in front of the entire barn. To me that is a fire-able offense. You are not overreacting, especially after finding the unique gloves IN HER TACK TRUNK.
The gloves should have been a first warning or discussion. The vest incident means that to me she should be gone.
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Lol no I don’t leave that stuff anywhere I’m not so irresponsible. I’m 32 and I’ve literally never lost any of those items and even if I did I have spares and ways to handle it just in case.
thug behavior dear lord lady get a grip
And we’re not talking about wallets and keys it’s a pair of gloves, a crop, and things that are hard to identify and easy to replace
You’ve never lost a single thing? Or laid something down? Don’t be ridiculous.
I don’t really care if you’re a millionaire and you just buy a new pair of gloves every day. STEALING IS WRONG.
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Anyone get the heebie jeebies at the thought of wearing someone else’s gloves? Ew.
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Not my wallet, keys, phone, or anything I care much about, no. I’ve been using the same wallet since I was 13 years old actually lol.
It’s not stealing if you leave something out in a public space. It’s losing it and littering. And for all we know everyone has the same gloves and a similar pair were in the lost and found for months. There’s people I watch ride every single day and I couldn’t identify their gloves if you paid me.
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Honestly if it was me I would be sitting down with the BO and asking what the policy is with regards to things that are left out and if there isn’t one could one be created. They I would ask the barn owner to let everyone ( workers and boarders a like ) know what the policy is. That way every one knows where left out things should go or what the consequences are if things are left out.
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Look, if you showed up and someone was wearing an item of safety clothing of yours would you be mad? Who cares what else was left out? Someone taking gloves and then a vest is in the wrong. If I left my stuff out all the time I might expect my BO to throw it somewhere in a pile or whatever, but that is not what is happening here. I certainly wouldn’t expect a barn worker to just take it and use it. I don’t understand this need to try to explain away what seems fairly clear-cut to me.
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Right, so if you find a phone on the sidewalk you should just keep it. Or a wallet. Or something in a seatback pocket on a plane. Or someone’s passport. No attempt to find the owner, because they lost it in a public space.
I would NEVER do that, with ANYthing, even a hoof pick. I have gone above and beyond to find owners of things I’ve found in public - phones, expensive watches, wallets, even cash. If I know who owns it, I put it back with their stuff. You are a thief just like this barn worker, and are trying to justify it by blaming someone else. People like you disgust me.
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For a wallet or phone I would make an effort to get it back to someone, for your $20 gloves you carelessly littered my barn isle with, meh. They are not the same. Stop pretending they are. It only shows how warped your perspective is.
Like I said I put all things left out with the lesson stuff and this is common knowledge so people usually find their stuff anyway. I’ve yet to have any complaints. Sweatshirts and things like that that don’t get claimed become free stuff.
People like me disgust you lol 👌 you really like to grandstand. Ok, Karen.
Um, no. It is stealing if you appropriate something that does not belong to you. I frankly hope that you have more moral sense than you are exhibiting with your statement here.
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One time a boarder had to take another (younger) boarder to the hospital after a pretty good fall. I grabbed her horse when she went to go help the girl who fell. When the two boarders left to go to the hospital, they left with me and another boarder holding their tacked up horses. A bunch of grooming supplies, tack, blankets etc were left out as well.
I wish I’d known that apparently I could have helped myself to all sorts of stuff and it would have been a-okay with some of the people on this board.
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A lot of gloves cost a lot more than $20.00.
So where do you put your phone, wallet and car keys while you ride? I don’t ride with them on me in a lesson. I dont have a locker there with my name on it as I do not own a horse there.
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Stealing is stealing, and outside of value of item making it a felony or not, the law agrees.
I’m glad I was raised better than to think I can take other peoples things, under any circumstances, no matter what the value is.
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