This is something your Aunt or an adult you trust should be handling.
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Absolutely.
OP, you need to take a big step back and involve a capable adult in this situation. Also I have this crazy mental recall and your posting style reminds me very much of a previous poster. Another young person who was overwhelmed with barn drama and horse issues @DollyDoll. I spent a good many years moderating a horse forum and have heard many back stories. Most real, some fake, a bunch embellished. No matter your backstory you need to divorce yourself from a weirdly toxic situation. Trust me. If your aim in life is to attend vet school that should be your focus. College and vet school are both insanely expensive. And require your undivided commitment. Horses are amazing. They’re a noble rewarding pursuit but focusing on what’s really important will yield you better lifelong results than worrying about jump height and barn drama.
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I’m not disputing the facts, but to a cynical and jaded old COTHer, it’s a little bit of a Magic Kingdom that you describe, with not one but two male trainers and three vets who ride and show. 
I sincerely hope that you and your horse land in a place where you have the support to reach your potential, and the maturity to accept if that potential is ultimately unrealistic. Listen to your horse and your gut and do what’s best for both of you.
I agree with others on not burning bridges. It’s a small world, and the horse world is even smaller.
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I had the same thought. I kind of think maybe it’s a case of English as a second language.
A spin off, not accusing the OP or DollyDoll of anything, but it has occurred to me in the past that if I was teaching ESL students, I might direct them to English language internet forums on a subject they were interested in to practice conversations. Not saying I would tell them to fabricate or embellish, just that it seems like interacting on a forum would be good practice.
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I recall we had two different juniors from Mexico. In both cases, there was pressure to jump over 1 meter perhaps before the riders were ready, a culture of bullying and emotional coaches, and a lot of interpersonal drama and envy and insecurity between the young women riders, and a rider with anxiety issues. Also much less choice of trainers, in one case limited to a riding club. And I think probably limited to much more wealthy participants than in the USA or Canada. The second Mexican poster swore she wasn’t an alter of the first.
I feel like in the USA and Canada today there is such a robust recognized show circuit at the 2 foot 6 or 9 level that coaches in general don’t need to push their students past their riding level to have a profitable competitive barn. I don’t think too many coaches would be pushing a teen in her first 3 months of horse ownership after a lease pony to be going higher and higher.
I know that 40 or 50 years ago jumping started at 3 feet, and it likely still does in many places. Which is why I also did wonder where the OP was located.
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That’s why I asked her location earlier in the thread; it sounded so much like the posts from Mexico.
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I agree with all the advice here, but this is the most important point. You need time to process what you learn in a lesson by riding on your own (NOT saying jumping on your own, though). You will find yourself getting more and more confident as a rider. You’ll get to know your mare better by being able to focus on the subtle clues she is giving you. That is difficult to do if you’re just responding to direction from a trainer.
I also highly recommend hacking out at least once a week and doing nothing but enjoying nature and your mare. It will help keep her from becoming ring sour and maybe allow you to just relax. Just hanging out with your mare is a great idea, too. She’s new to you and trying to understand this new relationship as much as you are. Sharing those quiet moments with her will help build a wonderful bond and trust between you.
In all my years of having horses, it isn’t our competitions that I look back on the most fondly. It is those individual moments where it was just me and one of my horses, whether having a Eureka moment on learning something new together, out hacking in the woods or quietly hand-grazing and enjoying each others company.
A person who rides consistently well in lessons may be a good rider, but it takes much more than that to be considered a horsewoman or horseman. I’m hoping your goal is to be a horsewoman, as that is truly the most fulfilling and satisfying relationship we can have with our wonderful horses and what you will remember the most when you are old and gray as I am.
I truly wish the best to you and your mare. 
P.S. Please find a new trainer.
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Good girl!! It’s never too early to stand up for yourself and to learn to set boundaries. You can do this!!
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You’re a big old meanie. 
But seriously, OP sounds like a hard-working, sensitive teen who just needs to find a non-toxic situation to grow with her mare. (Just remembering being a teenager and how painful it can be).
ETA: Sorry, KBC. I just saw you beat me to it.
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I feel like I’m watching a telenovella
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And people wonder why we need Safe Sport… This is just one giant violation after another.
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I’ll be curious to hear how this conversation goes. Especially, as has been mentioned, it is likely that this trainer earns a pretty decent paycheck from your daily lessons, etc. I agree that involving your guardian is really important at this point.
I’d also be interested to hear the trainer’s view on this entire situation. I’m not sure I think it is as clearly one-sided as it sounds.
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I love the telenovella parody that Camila Cabello’s character is watching at the beginning of the music video of ‘Havana’ when grandma pulls the plug on the tv. 
As to the actual thread topic: I’ve been riding for nearly 40 years with a few breaks in there for major life events. I thiiiiiink might’ve jumped 3’6" a few times back when I was 17 or 18. I know I have not jumped more than 2’6" in the past 15 years. I’m a fairly decent rider by most accounts – good problem solver & technician. Yet if jump height = sole measure of being good, I would have to throw in the towel immediately…
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This! I always have been into hacking out a lot and riding on my own, just easier flatwork/dressage rides and it really helped when I was getting to know my horses when I first got them. It made me a lot more comfortable in the saddle and helped with lessons since you know how they’ll react in different environments and the horse will be more comfortable with you
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