Washed up and ready to hang the towel

[Cruisesmom]

I have been an avid rider since i was 12. Couldnt live a day away from the barn. I have had the horse fever since I could remember and it feels like i have lost it.

I put down my heart horse three years ago. It broke my heart.
I have tried to do part leases and 1/2 leases on whatever I can find that is a fit. It just isn’t the same love for the sport.

I got pregnant after a long time of fertility treatments last October. I didn’t ride my entire pregnancy. My baby boy was born July 28th, and I had that itch to get back out and ride.

Two weeks post-partum i was out riding a friends horse. i decided I wanted to get back into leasing. Found a great schoolmaster that I had acually taken lessons on many years ago available. Went out, tried him, loved him was ready to sign my life away. The novice owner went off the deep end with a lease contract and restrictions and I declined the lease.

Found another IDEAL, perfect lease available 2 months later. I was extatic. Perfect dressage horse, amazing ride, great training and exactly what I am looking for. We agree to sign the lease starting Dec. 1st. She decides she wants someone that can ride him more often then I can commit to. Bummed.

I am at the point where there has been so much disappointment and hurt within the last 3 years that I think im ready to be done with horses. I have very limited time with a newborn at home that i think Im done fighting to try to ride.

My work situation has changed to where I am financially ready to take on another horse full time, and I just dont have the time. Am I wrong to just give up? I feel like I am not going to know what to do without my normal barn time. Its been a part of me for so long.

Thanks for letting me vent. I just never thought i would ever come to this situation.

[Bluey]

Take it easy on yourself, your life seems so busy staying busy, maybe not the best time to add a horse quite yet.
Why not wait until you have less stress all around to try to make it to the barn and the commitment that a horse is in time and energy, not just money?

You will know when is time again, just as now you know it is not quite right.

[Go_Fish]

Any good lesson barns in your area? How about taking lessons until you come across a lease situation that works for you?

[Fig]

It’s okay to take a break. Like Bluey said, you sound very busy. It can be frustrating to find the right situation. I’d wait it out until you find the right opportunity. I agree with Go Fish about taking lessons which could maybe make it feel less like you are completely stopping. With lessons you can also add on more or less time per week rather than agreeing to a whole year. Might take off some pressure.

[gloriginger]

Try to remember that everything is temporary. If you need to take a break, take a break. Horses will be there when you are ready to start again. Sometimes the best thing in life is to take a step back and see things in a different light.

Deep breath in…and long exhale.

[NoSuchPerson]

I took a break from riding when my kids were younger. I even got rid of both of my horses and went horseless for quite a few years. I just didn’t have the time or energy for it. Eventually, one day I realized that I did have the time and energy for riding and I wanted to start doing it again.

There is nothing wrong with taking a break and it doesn’t have to be forever.

[SillyHorse]

If you can find a barn with a nice lesson horse, they will probably be more than happy to lease the horse to you. It’s easier on the horse, and it still earns its keep.

[HungarianHippo]

What you’re prob struggling with is that you may strongly identify with being a horsewoman-- for most of us, we see it as something we are, as opposed to something we just do. Consider volunteering at a therapeutic riding center, while you are on “horse hiatus”. It’s a great way to stay connected and get your “fix”, I guarantee you will feel wonderful for having participated, and you can pick what kind of time commitment to make. TR centers are often starving for qualified horse handlers.

[Hulk]

First congrats on your baby. Second vent all you want and get it out. There are a bunch of people here that are very nice and a heck of a support group for these types of things. And third things will fall into place when they are supposed to. Its just something I believe. There have been some good ideas here something will work out.

[Lady_Eboshi]

Life cannot be all things to all people at all times. It’s a matter of priorities, and right now your Priority One is your baby. Babies grow up REALLY FAST, within 5 years he’ll be in school, and then you’ll be more than ready for some “me” time.

I would not get involved in horse ownership or even leasing right now. Enjoy your new baby, spend that brief and precious time without your attention divided, and then when the time comes–you can go and ride the new horse who will surely find you without guilt.

[FlashGordon]

Hey CM, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been there, for sure.

I’d say take a break, if you feel like it. You can always come back to it. I didn’t take a break after my daughter, and ended up VERY burned out. I took almost two years off after my son, and it was totally worth it. I came back refreshed and excited to ride.

Bank the money you would spend on a lease or purchase/board right now, and in a year or two you’ll have that much more to spend on something nice.

When you do decide to buy, do yourself a favor and skip any green horses, projects, etc. Find something well broke, well mannered, and fun. Anything else becomes a chore, when you are trying to balance young kids/work/husband/job/life.

I wish my horse was rehabbed, I’d be happy to have you come hack him a few days a week.

[Countrywood]

Don’t give up, just slow down and let it happen naturally. As a new mom, working you have a lot on your plate. Keep yourself open and when the time is right, which could be next week or next year, or in three years, the right horse and situation will present itself and all will fall into place.

[spacytracy]

Any friends that will let you hop on their horses when you feel like it?

If you don’t have the time, I don’t see much point in taking on anything with any sort of committment right now - even though finances allow. Why put that pressure on yourself?

It is really conflicting with a new kiddo around. I felt like I was losing a bit of myself in mommyhood, but I really didn’t have the burning desire to ride, either.

When I did get the chance, I enjoyed it. But it also didn’t push me to ride 4 times a week, either.

DD is 7, horses are at home, and I still only find myself riding once a week, and most of the time its nothing serious. I’m ok with that.

[CHT]

Yay on the baby!

Any chance of buying and then part leasing out your horse? Then the deal would be more on your terms.

But really, when you stop looking is likely when the perfect situation comes up!

[arapaloosa_lady]

[QUOTE=Go Fish;7846034]
Any good lesson barns in your area? How about taking lessons until you come across a lease situation that works for you?[/QUOTE]

That’s what I’d do in your situation. It’s certainly overwhelming to be raising a new baby, and I think it’s great for your sanity to stay in horses. If you can find a nice group of adult amateurs, then a weekly lesson is also a nice social break.

I totally get the ridiculousness of horse shopping, though… you need all of the stars to align sometimes.

[alto]

You sound as if you’re doing this on your own, can you find a trainer you like & go through that person … if you only have 1-3 days a week, trainers can be the best way to get that perfect lease situation.

In the meantime, start with a weekly lesson
then by the time you find the right partner, you’ll be on your way back to riding fitness.

[Cruisesmom]

Thank you all. At this point, a long break is what I think i need. In my area, there just isn’t any well established dressage trainers. Maybe in the next 5-10 years that will change, and I can try again.

[Laurierace]

I didn’t ride for 15 years for the most part because I trained race horses all day and the last thing I wanted to do was work with a horse for fun. When you are ready for them, one will be waiting for you.

[caffeinated]

[QUOTE=Laurierace;7849661]
When you are ready for them, one will be waiting for you.[/QUOTE]

Amen.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

[QUOTE=FlashGordon;7846257]
Hey CM, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been there, for sure.

I’d say take a break, if you feel like it. You can always come back to it. I didn’t take a break after my daughter, and ended up VERY burned out. I took almost two years off after my son, and it was totally worth it. I came back refreshed and excited to ride.

Bank the money you would spend on a lease or purchase/board right now, and in a year or two you’ll have that much more to spend on something nice.

When you do decide to buy, do yourself a favor and skip any green horses, projects, etc. Find something well broke, well mannered, and fun. Anything else becomes a chore, when you are trying to balance young kids/work/husband/job/life.

I wish my horse was rehabbed, I’d be happy to have you come hack him a few days a week.[/QUOTE]

All of this. Although I still have my horses, I haven’t ridden in four years. There are moments when I miss it, but I have discovered other things I like to do as well, and like you, there aren’t very many good dressage instructors close to me. Between work and work, there isn’t much time, but I’ve gotten into walking more, and photography, and of course, writing. Maybe you can find a new hobby so you’re not “just” Mom, and then when the time is right, the right horse will be waiting.