Jesus. I honestly don’t know what I would say if I were you. I think I would be so shocked that I would be rendered speechless. By the way, I will see it before I believe that she is schooling 3rd/4th level in dressage. Maybe her trainer two generation removed is. I’m in the camp that she is just an advanced beginner, someone who knows how to spell dressage and somehow thought it would impress anybody.
Jeez what a way to start off at a new barn! Seriously though just shut her down if she goes there again…like after the first insult.
“That’s your opinion but I don’t care to hear it now please leave me alone”
“I’m happy with my horse so please take your negativity somewhere else”
“I’m not here to impress you or anyone else, please go away”
Or simply…“Leave me alone.”
Don’t justify your horse needing a few pounds or why you bought her or why she works for you or her very existence or anything else concerning your horse and what you do with her whether it has to do with what she looks like, what you do with her, how you care for her, how you ride her-anything. All that does is open up a door for her to continue the “conversation” (insults). “Don’t care, don’t wanna hear it, go away.” If you make it perfectly clear you will not listen to her, you will not be baited into an argument and you will not waste your time being insulted she will in fact do as you ask and Go Away.
One more thing…she can only ruin your barn time or stress you out if you let her. Simply do not let her have that power over you and your emotions. As soon as she walks away direct your thoughts somewhere else. Out of sight, out of mind as they say.
You know, any body can ‘school’ 3rd and 4rth…I know I ‘schooled’ 2nd at one time. It’s the advantage of having a been-there-done-there horse.
Could I have made it through a test? Hells no! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Maybe a kiddy W/T/C class…:yes:
[QUOTE=FineAlready;8090445]
When people criticize my horse, I just say, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you don’t own him then!” and move on.[/QUOTE]
IMHO, THIS is the perfect comeback.
Like my dear Mom used to tell me & my brother:
“It takes two to make a fight”
Ignore this illbred b-yotch & go on about your business.
BTW:
The pic of your mare looks lovely.
Well, this reminds me of this old joke:
Two women meet. Woman number one caries on: My husband bought me a new jaguar!
the second woman answers : Well isn’t that nice.
Then he bought me a new house with 10 bedrooms!
Why isn’t that nice.
Then we got on a two week cruise in Europe.
Isn’t that nice
And he bought me a diamond ring with matching earings
Isn’t that nice.
What did your husband get you?
He send me to finishing school.
Finishing school?! Whatever for?
I learned to say ‘isn’t this nice’ instead of F U!
“Bless your heart” is a socially acceptable substitution for both though. 
What she thinks doesn’t matter. Hold that thought all the time, especially when she’s around.
I feel for you that the barn is supposed to be the place you don’t have to deal with the human problems of the world … and then one moves in.
What does she say to other people in the barn?
What does she say about people (including you) when they are not there?
If she is like this to other people as well, she has been called out for it before. She may not realize just how much she rubs people the wrong way, but being told she does won’t come as news to her.
My guess is that this is a VERY insecure person who does to others before they do to her, from her pov. She started insulting your horse first, before you could unfavorably judge hers … from her pov.
The other thing she did was get your attention on her. You are now aware of her if she’s anywhere in the vicinity, and you think about her because she annoys you. Let me guess you’ll drive into the parking area looking to see if her car is there. Score! from her pov.
If she says something like that about your mare again, could you say cheerfully “Well I know she’s not perfect, but she has done so much for me and I love her so much!” And give your mare a big hug. 
Hopefully New Clueless Boarder will have a good reason to move barns (again) soon!
[QUOTE=Gloria;8090475]
Jesus. I honestly don’t know what I would say if I were you. I think I would be so shocked that I would be rendered speechless. By the way, I will see it before I believe that she is schooling 3rd/4th level in dressage. Maybe her trainer two generation removed is. I’m in the camp that she is just an advanced beginner, someone who knows how to spell dressage and somehow thought it would impress anybody.[/QUOTE]
“Speechless” about covered it for the first few statements. An indignant cry of “Rude!” escaped my lips at the last comment, and she laughed and said it wasn’t rude, it was just true. Wanted to deck her. Very proud of myself for not accruing assault charges.
Her horse is an TB/Holsteiner cross, supposedly. She’s sweet, but I was pretty incredulous that someone who owns a horse with two blown suspensories was going to insult my sound, extremely athletic horse’s condition.
You’re just going to have to choose how much energy and stress you want to give this person. Your reaction is your choice-- she’s not “doing it to you”. I’m not saying it’s easy-- I know first hand, I have an antagonist at work. The thing is, no one else’s opinion of me is swayed by this guy. Everyone can see what he’s doing, which makes it a little pathetic. I am certain it’s the same for you-- no one else around you will change their opinion of you or your horse because of her.
So when she says “snarkity snarky snark”-- if you get defensive and wonder how she can think that about you/your horse/your saddle/whatever, and try to get others to support you (or get the BO to scold her), you are giving her EXACTLY the power she wants and craves. Just remind yourself every time that it’s not about you at all, it is merely a reflection of her insecurity and craving admiration/superiority. You can laugh and say “ah, you never fail. Thanks, that made my day.” and walk away. Let her see that her need to insult is so ridiculous that it’s funny.
[QUOTE=Simkie;8090361]
The phrase “well, bless your heart” seems like it would be fitting here, along with turning around and continuing whatever you were doing before she walked up.[/QUOTE]
The hell with that, channel some Philly - “Excuse Me?!”
First of all, your horse is a stunner. Second, you might want to ask if her horse is a Suffolk Punch because you’ve always been curious to see the breed in the flesh.
I have used the “oh my goodness, my horse isn’t for sale anyway” comeback when someone went all “conformation clinic” on my mare. They looked highly po’d and huffed off down the aisle.
I say ‘your opinion about my horse is irrelevant’ then if they continue I chuckle and say ‘idiot’.
I would be flabbergasted. “Well, bless your little heart.”
Sounds like you need to kill her with kindness.
Sounds like a job for your middle finger
[QUOTE=Wonders12;8090440]
How old is she? (Or maybe it doesn’t really matter.)
I’ve seen a lot of insecure people walk into barns and try to prove that they know things. So they point out every horse that’s a little underweight, or one time they heard a trainer say, “She really doesn’t have the best conformation, does she?” about a small bay OTTB, so they echo that to try to sound smart.
I’ve seen the same thing happen under saddle. Riders getting particularly harsh with a horse and picking fights to show how “good” they are.
Sometimes these people come around in time. Kill them with kindness is your best option if this is the type you’re dealing with.
I’m really sorry. Your barn is supposed to be a peaceful haven.[/QUOTE]
THIS^! Girl-friend of the farrier came one time, “to see the place,” ostensibly as a tire-kicking prospective boarder. Arrived at morning feed, and went down the line finding something to pick on with each and every horse she saw.
Gets to one little red mare and whirls around on me, “WHY aren’t you treating this mare for Cushing’s??? LOOK at that coat!”
“Um, because she’s an American Bashkir Curly and I have her papers in the house–owner’s had her for 25 CURLY years.”
(And BTW, y’ain’t boarding here at ANY price!)
Your mare is Lovely…
I would just get to the point…"Your apology wasn t genuine and if you can t say anything even remotely nice…Shut The “F” up stay outta my way…oh and have a nice day, Bless your heart… At which point even if she were on fire I would treat her as if invisible. I believe it’s called socially “cut” her…
I love all the snarky comebacks, you guys are great I hope I can remember some next time I have to deal with someone awful!
Apparently she has asked a friend of mine how much I hate her, and claims that she feels bad. Um. You know whom you should be telling if you feel bad? Maybe the person whose horse you insulted.
This is a great case for Ettiquette Hell’s pet phrase, “How KIND of you to take an interest.” Said drily, with an expression as if you just smelled something really bad, followed by turning your back and walking away.
Confidently and dismissively tell her " Your opinion is of absolutely no value to me" While looking her directly in her eyes. Then return to what you are doing.
If she continues to say anything don’t listen and engage, just make a shoo shoo motion with your hand, but don’t look at her when you do it.
Insecure idiots like this girl feel empowered by saying things that obviously bother you. Take her power from her, because being defensive of all her insults to your horse just gave her what she wants.
And remember her opinion really is of no value
Chiming in to say, your horse looks lovely.
Being a mildly passive-aggressive, “take no sh!t” introverted soul, my favorite comeback has always been: “Excuse me, sweetheart?” coupled with a “Back down now” face.
However, if she’s asking your friend how much you hate her, kill her with kindness. Nothing more satisfying than leaving them stuttering “Thank… you?” with a bewildered look on their face. :lol:
[QUOTE=Old Grey Mare;8090564]
This is a great case for Ettiquette Hell’s pet phrase, “How KIND of you to take an interest.” [/QUOTE]
“How KIND of you to take an interest, as if I give one fig what you think.”
