Snarky comments are fun to talk about, but they never lead to a productive relationship. It sounds like she’s feeling insecure & now feels badly about her comments. I’d just move on. Treat her with kindness & respect, tell her to please stop if she says anything nasty, and then go back to treating her with kindness & respect.
I’d rather see a “ribby” TB than an overfed WB or QH any day. Put an eventer next to an overweight WB and a lot of people would say, OMG, that eventer is STARVING. I’d look at the WB and think “Founder! Suspensories!” There’s no cure for the woman. Just nod and smile and go about your business.
a very valuable lesson I learned, not everyone is good with first impressions and not everyone has social skills.
Some people will just always be socially awkward. She might not have even realized she was insulting you. She really might not be capable of having an inner monologue.
For these people I always take them with a grain of salt. I also have a friend like this and I have learned over the years that the best way to handle her when she crosses a line is just to let her know that she was inappropriate. She NEVER realizes it unless you tell her.
Don’t let her think “you hate her”. Then she’s perpetuating drama, gaining sympathy, and “winning”.
[QUOTE=arapaloosa_lady;8090596]
Snarky comments are fun to talk about, but they never lead to a productive relationship. It sounds like she’s feeling insecure & now feels badly about her comments. I’d just move on. Treat her with kindness & respect, tell her to please stop if she says anything nasty, and then go back to treating her with kindness & respect.[/QUOTE]
Right now the plan is to interact with her as little as possible until she either apologizes sincerely or does something that warrants a serious conversation with the BM. Her first “apology” consisted of “Sorry if I came off like a bitch, that’s just how I am”, and “Good thing you like how she looks, everyone should like how their horse looks”.
I’m not going to get vicious. I’m going to continue walking the high road. But if she wants me to like her, she’s going to have to remove her head from her ass and realize that what she said was out of line.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8090608]
. Her first “apology” consisted of “Sorry if I came off like a bitch, that’s just how I am”, [/QUOTE]
Response: Yes, that’s JUST what I thought, too!
[QUOTE=Wonders12;8090440]
How old is she? (Or maybe it doesn’t really matter.)[/QUOTE]
Early 20s. Quite old enough to know better, I’d say. I’m only 21.
I always find that a quizzical look, followed by a pair of slow blinks and a shake of the head before turning around is effective. Just a plain look of “WTF?” and no words.
Your mare looks perfectly lovely to me. My TB is way over at the knee, but she has a very pretty face/eye that I get lots of compliments on…
except from the bitchy QH lady at my barn who referred to her as having a “big 'ol ugly thoroughbred head.” Her horse looks miserable and sore when ridden, but just look how small and square his head is!
I would be cordial but put your foot down with behavior like that.
Honestly? By worrying about her, you are giving her power over you… just carry on carrying on! What she says does not have to have any impact on you. Yes - you can choose to let it bother you, but why would you? Your horse is lovely, you enjoy your time with her and that’s what matters. At the end of the day, no matter what she says, it’s of no importance: UNLESS YOU GIVE IT IMPORTANCE!
Her apologies sound like she has a future in politics. Statements like “I’m sorry if you were offended… or It’s just how I am…” are the trademark of a manipulator.
Eff that with the power of a million suns.
You’re a fellow customer there, not newly married or working for her. I can think of zeeeerrrooo reasons you need to interact with her aside from “look out a horse is loose and about to run you down” and even then you could very likely choose to not say that aloud… then tell her “it’s just how you are”.
I think your horse is darling! What a cutie!
I do not know what it is with some people— I used to have a big gelding and a resident knows everything type could not wait to tell me what to do with him and how worthless he would be unless I followed her advise-- never mind I rode jumpers and she rode Western-- trail riding for fun–… whatever.
Snarky comebacks can be hard to think up on the spot. And it also puts the dynamic in the other person’s corner, they are controlling the tempo, not you.
If people offer me unwanted and annoying comments about my horse, I just say “Hmmm.” and carry on with what I am doing. Perhaps with an extra kiss and cuddle for the horse in good measure.
A few rules of life’s road that some people never get-- you never ever criticize some one else’s kid. Or horse. Just. don’t. do. it. ever.
But some people skip the rule book of consideration, and want to offer their opinions. There is one in every barn. I think that is a rule that comes with laying barn foundations. Somehow one of these types crop up everywhere. One just left the barn I am at-- and I thought— hoooray. But sure enough, someone else decides to step up and fill the vacuum. Someone else who hid in the shadows and would not say boo to a goose before this. All of a sudden, “your horse blady blah…”…
I just said, “Hmmm…”.
It has switched the benefits of its good advise ( sarcasm font) else where.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8090608]
Right now the plan is to interact with her as little as possible until she either apologizes sincerely or does something that warrants a serious conversation with the BM. Her first “apology” consisted of “Sorry if I came off like a bitch, that’s just how I am”, and “Good thing you like how she looks, everyone should like how their horse looks”.
I’m not going to get vicious. I’m going to continue walking the high road. But if she wants me to like her, she’s going to have to remove her head from her ass and realize that what she said was out of line.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, the high road…we talk about that route again in 20 years. 
You do not have to like her. Not ever.
Your horse is yours (and really nice, BTW) and non of her business.
She can suck it.
It is odd how some people have no - well, empathy. I’ve seen horses that I thought, “Urk, questionable…(take your pick…soundness, temperament, looks…),” but their owners loved them, so I always found something nice to say about them. No lies, but “beautiful color, markings, what a lovely mane, tail, expression…”
As for OP’s new acquaintance, I shudder to think what she’d say about my Araloosa!
These folks are like sharks teeth…one falls out and another just rises up to take its place
At least this twit did you the favor of letting you know exactly what caliber of person she is from the word go – you know, the “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” saying. Much better to know that now about her than to have something blow up later. If she’s that unpleasant to all, perhaps her tenure at the barn will be short. 
Posted by Alagirl:
So you didn’t ask her if she was planning to sell her steed by the pound?
Or showed her where best to park her broom?
:lol:
In error, She pushed your buttons by talking negative about your horse. She was wrong. What you do about it does not have to be the same… Caulk it up to nerves, getting a conversation going, being stupid … Try & drop it and work thru being peaceful, perhaps bring humor to conversation A little when u can. As in, if I remember, you said this when you didn’t even know us…, think before u speak…, or I might have to pick on your over weight horse that you love.
Posted by susieQNutter:
Blew both suspensoroies? Either her horses conformation is no good or her training is no good or her horse was too obese, so why listen to anything she says?
^ this.
Lots of horse with good conformation aren’t worth a dime because they aren’t sound! So either she can’t ride worth a bean or her horse’s conformation may look good on the outside, but obviously isn’t functional on the inside.
She should be ashamed of herself for her comments about your horse.
[QUOTE=Old Grey Mare;8090564]
This is a great case for Ettiquette Hell’s pet phrase, “How KIND of you to take an interest.” Said drily, with an expression as if you just smelled something really bad, followed by turning your back and walking away.[/QUOTE]
This. Is. Brilliant. slow clap
