We've acquired a barn bitch - help!

[2LaZ2race]

This: https://www.etsy.com/listing/64411402/silver-envelope-necklace-removable-i

Except the message inside of mine isn’t as nice… I just rub it when someone is pissing me off that I can’t mouth back to.

The “That’s just the way I am” comment in her “apology” is really annoying. That just proves she feels no regret in hurting your feelings or insulting others. It’s really a shame because I’m sure you’re not the first person she’s turned off with her behavior.

For the time being could you wear headphones and listen to music (or just pretend to) when she’s around? Make it obvious, the minute she comes in put them in. You don’t need to be aggresive toward her, but you certainly don’t have to tip toe around her feelings!!

[alibi_18]

Like Dexter said, don’t give her that importance.

She’s inquiering if you are mad at her? No you’re not! How could you be mad at someone that stupid? It’s not her fault, she’s like that. Stupid. and Bitch. She can’t help but say nasty stuff. You pity her because she’s ignorant and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Really sad for her.

[spurgirl]

Any further remarks from this bitch would get a loudly asked “Excuse me, what?” from me, with a direct stare… And another one. And another one, and another one…then BB (barn bitch) would realize she is a silly idiot who is talking to herself.

Everything she says, reply the same way. She will stop addressing you, I guarantee it. Then completely ignore her from then on. She find someone else to bother, or hopefully get evicted:)

[asb_own_me]

[QUOTE=Old Grey Mare;8090564]
This is a great case for Ettiquette Hell’s pet phrase, “How KIND of you to take an interest.” Said drily, with an expression as if you just smelled something really bad, followed by turning your back and walking away.[/QUOTE]
…“but unfortunately she’s not for sale.”

Smile and walk away :lol:

[Calamber]

You could always say, “yet with all of her faults she is still sound”…
Anyway, I don’t care when people would critique my horse because it was usually people who did not know anything. in this case I would have just laughed and said to her “imagine that, and she is sound”.

[Ambitious_Kate]

“Gosh, are you one of those people where whatever comes into your head oozes out your mouth?”
“Hah hah, no, I’m just being truthful”
“No you aren’t. You’re a predator, and no one cares how you think. Keep your nastiness to yourself.”

[myrna]

Walk away…

[kaitsmom]

I would avoid talking to her at all costs and if she figured it out and asked why or said another rude thing I would look her straight in the face and say, “Look, I was warned by others that you had the barn bitch reputation but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and firm my own opinion. However, after our first interaction and the condescending apology you gave for it, I can see why you have earned this reputation.”

[PeanutButterPony]

if she ever does attempt to apologize, I would look her dead in the eye and say

Janey, in the first conversation we ever had, you approached me and in quick succession you insulted the barn owner, me, my trainer, and my horse. I was shocked and speechless in the face of your rudeness and your complete lack of manners. Your behavior was appalling. I’m not interested in entertaining any further interactions with you. If I don’t talk to you, you can’t stick your foot in your mouth at my expense. Good day.

and you walk away. There are some horsewitches in my club that I just live ‘above’- my eyes don’t light upon them- it’s glorious.

[chism]

[QUOTE=maunder;8090414]
Eh, phooey! I’d just smile and enjoy my horse.

I had a lovely 15 hand Morgan who I boarded at a really nice place full of huge warmbloods. Several ladies always referred to my fellow as “The Thelwell Pony,” and made fun of him. He was the size of most of the yearlings there.

I had more fun with that horse, loved him and didn’t care for beans what those snooty people thought.[/QUOTE]

Who knows what their intent was, but if i called your horse a thelwell pony, it would be because I thought he was simply adorable. Have you seen them?! Cuteness overload!

[dontskipthecafe]

Okay, so apparently she saw this post and feels really bad for being so hurtful We talked last night and I think the hostility is over with. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with myself for venting my anger on the internet instead of just talking to her. Yes, she said some very rude, painful things. But honestly? I’m a social idiot. She very well may have meant that apology and just phrased it badly, and I was already upset and ran with it. So I’m going to stop posting here and bury the hatchet.

[Pennywell_Bay]

[QUOTE=red mares;8090512]
The hell with that, channel some Philly - “Excuse Me?!”[/QUOTE]

LMAO. I’m in the MidWest from Philly area so this makes my day. :lol:

“I’d” say “Excuse me? Your opinon is irrelevent” and may or may not have an expletive (or several) in there. Warning: This is not classy, I do not advise it, I am much older than you, it may get you in trouble with the BO/BM.

Your best bet is to ignore her, but if it is just impossible tell her matter-o-factly " Didn’t you learn If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say it."
I had an acquaintance make a disparaging remark to me about my breeches at Devon a few years ago. I guess they weren’t the “in thing” but they were clean, fit well. Seriously- who says that kind of crap?

I was suprised and just muttered “huh? Well I like them…” (clean, fit well, nice tan shade, I think they were Ariats w/ the sock bottoms which I love). I did NOT expect it from her so my bitch side was latent. I didn’t blast her b/c she was an acquaintance but I sure as hell don’t speak to her anymore and de"friended" her on FB b/c who needs friends like that? She’s a pretty nice person otherwise, but I am just not into drama or the latest fashion trend.

Anyway, we were 6th out of 32, she was 0 in the same class.

Proof is in the pudding, my dear. That is something to keep in mind to keep your sanity.

ETA: Just saw your update. Nice ending. See- don’t take advice from old, grumpy people (like me).

[maunder]

[QUOTE=chism;8091138]
Who knows what their intent was, but if i called your horse a thelwell pony, it would be because I thought he was simply adorable. Have you seen them?! Cuteness overload![/QUOTE]

Ha haa - well, I thought so…but in their eyes it was an insult.

He did get awfully cute and fuzzy in the winter…

[Pennywell_Bay]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8091143]
Okay, so apparently she saw this post and feels really bad for being so hurtful We talked last night and I think the hostility is over with. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with myself for venting my anger on the internet instead of just talking to her. Yes, she said some very rude, painful things. But honestly? I’m a social idiot. She very well may have meant that apology and just phrased it badly, and I was already upset and ran with it. So I’m going to stop posting here and bury the hatchet.[/QUOTE]

Well done on both of your parts! Good luck!

[PeanutButterPony]

Good. Hope all is well going forward-

there was a great NPR/Ted talk on yesterday about deception…this relates b/c we’re designed to expect our words don’t stick around- they are just vapor. So when our words are written down and become record- it’s much harder to stomach…so we actually lie less in email than we EVER would on the phone…make sense?

I suspect that when she saw and reflected on her words- she was mortified.

a lesson for all of us, maybe.

[Alagirl]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8091143]
Okay, so apparently she saw this post and feels really bad for being so hurtful We talked last night and I think the hostility is over with. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with myself for venting my anger on the internet instead of just talking to her. Yes, she said some very rude, painful things. But honestly? I’m a social idiot. She very well may have meant that apology and just phrased it badly, and I was already upset and ran with it. So I’m going to stop posting here and bury the hatchet.[/QUOTE]

LOL, good on you.

(but be aware that she could have simply realized that she was caught with her breeches around her ankles, ‘sorry I got caught’)

It is better to vent with strangers than you lose your cool in person though. You vented, got a little distance and were able to resolve this in a mature manner.

Social idiot? I don’t think so, it’s not you who lacks the graces to be allowed in public!

[PeanutButterPony]

Her apology was complete crap and she knows it.

I’m sorry IF…is not an apology - it still points the blame at you, the listener. None of the blame is on her.

that’s just the way I am what? thoughtless, churlish, and callow?

She’s an insecure, dominant young woman. She erred and she should own it.

[Ambitious_Kate]

[QUOTE=alibi_18;8090834]
Like Dexter said, don’t give her that importance.

She’s inquiering if you are mad at her? No you’re not! How could you be mad at someone that stupid? It’s not her fault, she’s like that. Stupid. and Bitch. She can’t help but say nasty stuff. You pity her because she’s ignorant and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Really sad for her.[/QUOTE]

This is true! When she says, “Oh, gosh, that’s just how I am!” you can say, I know, you can’t help it. Its not your fault. Other people would try to improve themselves and be kinder to others, but you just spew your venom without any kind of personal filter. One of those who makes other people feel bad so you can feel better. Believe me, I’ve seen your kind before. I don’t take you seriously."

[aregard]

Rude person: " your horse this that and the other thing!"
Me: “on the other hand, she doesn’t open her mouth and bore me with a boatload of crap”

[Ambitious_Kate]

[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8091143]
Okay, so apparently she saw this post and feels really bad for being so hurtful We talked last night and I think the hostility is over with. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with myself for venting my anger on the internet instead of just talking to her. Yes, she said some very rude, painful things. But honestly? I’m a social idiot. She very well may have meant that apology and just phrased it badly, and I was already upset and ran with it. So I’m going to stop posting here and bury the hatchet.[/QUOTE]
Don’t be so sure. She knew exactly what she was doing. She even leered at you about it - oh, dear, did I speak to bluntly? Ha hah, that’s just how I am.

She doesn’t feel badly about it. She feels bad that it got out to the world wide web and every knows what she did. Bullies like to think their victims are going to just take it and keep it themselves, or that they can just deny the intent elsewhere.

I’m glad you put it on the internet. I can guarantee you she is only being nice to you because she’s been outed on COTH. You aren’t a social idiot!! You recognized her for what she was. She intimidated you, that doesn’t make you a social idiot. She made it hard for you to interact with her, she was TRYING to marginalize you and your horse, and it worked, - you didn’t WANT to talk to her, she made you feel inferior, and she intended that. She’s still playing you, oh, why diden’t you come to me I am so sorry I made you feel bad! BS - what do you THINK she meant when she marginalized you and your horse? Now she is making you feel socially inept? She didn’t mean the apology then, and only wants to look good to COTH now.

Seen her type a dozen times. Don’t fall for it. Smile, say thanks, walk away, and keep your distance.

It will happen again.