Good for you OP! Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff. Who cares if anyone likes your horse as long as you do? People say/do stupid stuff all the time (sometimes they’re mean, sometimes they’re just stupid or socially awkward), the only thing that’s in your control is how you let it affect you.
OP, hope it works out. In my observations on this planet, there is no cure for a-hole. But… maybe she was being honest. Best of luck.
Like I said to my cheating ex-husband: you’re not sorry you cheated, you’re sorry you got caught. Same with this girl. She’s not sorry for what she said, she’s sorry there are 4 pages basically telling her to STFU.
You are both young, but you can be the mature person, take the high road and just ignore her. Don’t put on your headphones or anything obvious. Just ignore her. Groom and tack your horse in another aisle, or outside. Just stay away from her and don’t interact. And does it really matter what someone says about your horse? You love her and that is all that matters.
Just wait another 20 years and you won’t be so worried about being polite to a$$holes. 
If someone said that to me now I would tell them to shut the f**k up! I have no time for jerks anymore.
Wait, is her name Margaret?
She sounds oddly familiar to someone I once knew, who called my horse a cart pony right before going into a clinic with Bill Warren.
Anywho- the best way to deal with people like this is smile and say nothing, every now and then give a little chuckly and walk away.
Say this over and over in your head- there is nothing she can say to me that is even close to the nasty dialoge she has in her own head about herself.
People like this live a miserable existence. All she really wants is to love herself.
[QUOTE=gloriginger;8091329]
Wait, is her name Margaret?[/QUOTE]
Nope.
Considering that our barn community is rather small, and the horse world in Massachusetts is too, I don’t feel like having an enemy. She is being pleasant, so I’m going to be pleasant unless that changes.
[QUOTE=PaintPony;8091320]
Just wait another 20 years and you won’t be so worried about being polite to a$$holes. If someone said that to me now I would tell them to shut the f**k up! I have no time for jerks anymore.[/QUOTE]
This is one of the very best things about getting older!
I’m glad for you that it’s blowing over.
And you are not a social idiot.
Not sure if anyone has said this, and this is quite mean. But you could always walk up to her horse and tell her horse how bad their rider’s conformation is. lol
:lol:
I have a friend who is a bit like this – she truly and honestly does not intend to hurt anyone’s feelings, but she really has no filter, and is pretty socially awkward. I could absolutely see her starting a conversation like this just in a desperate effort to start a conversation. That said, the way to deal with her is to set boundaries. I do sometimes have to tell her what is not okay to say and when to stop talking, LOL.
Not saying you need to be best buddies with this person, but the fact that she reached out to you to apologize after the fact reminded me of my friend.
Glad to hear you chatted. I still stand by my response, which I’ve used on everyone from overtly nasty jerks to people who may not really intend to be mean but are offering unsolicited input on my horse.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8091143]
Okay, so apparently she saw this post and feels really bad for being so hurtful 
We talked last night and I think the hostility is over with. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with myself for venting my anger on the internet instead of just talking to her. Yes, she said some very rude, painful things. But honestly? I’m a social idiot. She very well may have meant that apology and just phrased it badly, and I was already upset and ran with it. So I’m going to stop posting here and bury the hatchet.[/QUOTE]
No she doesn’t feel really bad. Abusers usually apologize, too. She’s a royal C***, and I rarely use that word. And since I’m old and don’t care if someone’s my friend or not, I would have told her so.
I’ve been of the opinion lately that a lot of bad behavior these days continues because others are too tactful/nice/don’t want to stir the pot. Sometimes, people need to be called on their sh!t, and sometimes doing it face to face works. Sometimes maybe it takes them reading several pages of people saying they were a total a-hole to get the point across. So I wouldn’t feel badly that you got found complaining online.
I hope it works and she’s more aware of what comes out of her mouth in the future. We all have bad days and moments of social stupidity, but we shouldn’t be allowed to be like that all of the time.
[QUOTE=cloudy18;8092005]
I’ve been of the opinion lately that a lot of bad behavior these days continues because others are too tactful/nice/don’t want to stir the pot. Sometimes, people need to be called on their sh!t, and sometimes doing it face to face works. Sometimes maybe it takes them reading several pages of people saying they were a total a-hole to get the point across. So I wouldn’t feel badly that you got found complaining online.
I hope it works and she’s more aware of what comes out of her mouth in the future. We all have bad days and moments of social stupidity, but we shouldn’t be allowed to be like that all of the time.[/QUOTE]
^ THIS ^
Tell her to come post on this thread. COTH will take care of her mouth/attitude right quick
Haven’t read through to the end, as usual, so please ignore if no longer relevant.
I’ve found the way to deal with obtuse, insulting and/ or aggressive people is to simply stop what you’re doing–dead in your tracks. Turn to face them straight on, then after a moment wordlessly smile broadly, as if you’ve just been told the biggest inside joke. Shake your head as your turn to go back to what you’re doing.
The effect is that you’ve completely invalidated anything that was said, AND you’ve transmitted you opinion of how classless, insulting and rude their behavior is. All while maintaining your own dignity.
I agree she’s desperate to show she’s knowledgeable and in doing so she trampled your feelings. Clearly sharp as a marble, that one.
OP, glad you are being the bigger person in all this, but someone here has a great siggy, attributed to, I believe, Maya Angelou: When someone shows you who they are,believe them the first time. Or something to that effect.
Your barn bitch has already showed you who she is, and was completely unapologetic about it “That’s just who I am”. She needs ground training so she learns to respect a human’s space.
[QUOTE=rustbreeches;8092683]
OP, glad you are being the bigger person in all this, but someone here has a great siggy, attributed to, I believe, Maya Angelou: When someone shows you who they are,believe them the first time. Or something to that effect.
Your barn bitch has already showed you who she is, and was completely unapologetic about it “That’s just who I am”. She needs ground training so she learns to respect a human’s space.[/QUOTE]
^^^^^THIS, THIS, THIS. Do not let your guard down around this person, and do not give the impression to other people at the barn that you and she are friends. Right or wrong, you are judged by the company you keep.
OP i really hope she is not a barn bitch, and i hope all can go well now. BUT some Leopards cannot change their spots. Watch your back. She may not like your horse’s conformation, but her horse is the one with 2 blown suspensories. What does THAT say?
Side note, I really love (hate) when people do that thing where they run to a mutual friend to ask if you’re mad at them. We’re not in high school anymore Dorothy…my response is always a tilted head and an amused “who?” Says everything necessary 
No, I’m not mad because I could care less about you. Props to you for taking the high road and not throwing down in the barn aisle! And I will say too, props to her for at least having the balls to come to you and admit she saw your post and truly apologize (you did nothing in posting about it btw), but she also could have pretended she never saw it and been a bigger bitch in retaliation.
