Our puppy’s breeder had an extensive questionnaire that we filled out, then we spent all the time before the breeding, during the pregnancy, and until the puppy came home chatting via email. This was the fourth breeder we talked with, and the one we liked best based on her dogs, policies, and dog raising perspective. By the time we actually met her, it felt as though we were already friends, and we still correspond on a regular basis, share pictures, and chat about dogs. 
We were very honest and upfront about our abilities, setup, plans for the puppy, etc. We had a gender preference only because our older dog has a gender preference, and explained that to the breeder. Her policies stated that she was okay with reasonable preferences and would work with those, but she had final say about which puppy would be offered to which home. We were completely fine with that, as she’d know them better than us and could make a better choice anyway.
A couple breeders whose dogs I really liked didn’t allow any input about which puppy you’d get, so we passed on those despite their lovely dogs and program, as we did want some say on gender. Absolutely no hard feelings either way - they appreciated the reason behind our preference, we respected their policies and their reasoning behind those. This was my first purchase (rather than adoption) of an animal, and part of my thought process was definitely,“If I’m going to spend $$$ on a critter, I’ll get what I want.” I completely understand where you’re coming from with a color/gender preference!
I think what was reassuring for us to realize is that the questionnaire was really just a starting point for the breeders we spoke with. No one made any decisions based solely on our questionnaire, it was really just a jumping off point for discussion, the goal being a safe, good home for the puppy.
Both my husband and myself work outside the home, but we discussed our specific situation and how we planned to accommodate the puppy, and our schedules turned out to not be an issue at all.
Good luck! Hope you find a great breeder and get a fantastic puppy. 