And the kicker is that a lot of those older pairs from Amishland would make very safe, trustworthy, light duty driving horses for an English owner. 
They just need TLC & some groceries. I’m a fairly adept driver, but I love those unflappable older pairs. Younger draft pairs aren’t easily handled alone; it took 2-3 people to safely wrangle the 5 & 6yo Belgians I had for pulling. Older Amish work horses, on the other hand, are basically people in a horse costume.
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The equestrian world version of men who lie about their height on dating apps! 
Though, I swear there’s something to the whole wearing black makes you look slimmer/smaller adage. Because I know two grey horses that are only 17hh but look enormous. One, an OTTB who was purchased by a kind fellow boarder to save him from a tight spot. This horse seemed to tower over the two black WB in the barn that were known to be 17.2hh & 18.1hh. The trainer got so tired of us guessing ("He’s, he’s…he’s gotta be 20hh) that she finally dug out the measuring stick & 3 of us very carefully set him up. 17hh!
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Lol, I agree and I thought the same until I bought a going Prelim horse in 2019. The owner wasn’t there when I picked him up after the vetting so I asked her to leave a note with his records. Vaccines weren’t on there (other than flu/rhino in his FEI passport) but I ASSumed he was up to date because he was well cared for by a very wealthy owner and was competing with a BNR, including at some FEI events. When I asked about vaccines later she said she doesn’t believe in them but he probably “got everything when he raced”…as a 3-year-old! Not gonna lie, I kind of freaked out that the most expensive horse I’ve ever bought was running around unvaccinated in the middle of summer, in prime Potomac Horse Fever territory no less. Of course my vet was out of town so I had to order everything online. Yes, the cost of the vaccines was a drop in the bucket but the revelation that he needed them almost gave me a heart attack. 
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I love driving by a field being plowed & seeing the team - sometimes as many as 6 - standing hooked to equipment by themselves.
They ain’t dumb - farmer has left for a lunchbreak, they are taking advantage of the time to rest.
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“Awesome personality”. Like " we haven’t ever tried to ride this horse but he sure is friendly when we feed him".
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I had a friend find out “in your pocket” meant he would take every opportunity to aggressively try to rip your clothing off if he caught even the slightest scent of food on you.
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Damn! I need a horse that can drug my cattle when I run them in the chute for vaccines and deworming. How much?
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I love it when ads use the word “stunning”. I think it means that she’s pretty, but will leave you knocked out on the ground.
Has a lot of heart means that the son of a gun will run away with you until you bail off his back.
Great sense of direction. I saw that. Figured the horse was really barnsour.
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All of my draft horses came with human names. I should’ve gone ahead & claimed them as dependents on my taxes!
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“Gorgeous” My definition of gorgeous seems to differ greatly from the sellers.
“Fresian Cross” I am sure there are real crosses out there but your dark bay Heinz 57 that needs a body clip and mane pull does not qualify.
“Anyone can ride” - So anyone can sit on it, but the question is can you get it to do anything.
“Trail broke” The horse starts, stops and turns in direct correlation to the horse in front. Leg and rein aids are a foreign idea.
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Mine is whenever they go on about the color as if that makes the horse super rare and special when in reality, if I’m buying a horse for a job it shouldn’t matter THAT much…
“Flashy 5 YO warmblood PALOMINO!!!11 gelding. He’s not started u/s but has 3 lovely gates and he is a palomino which is super rare and will definitely get you noticed in the show ring! Good for the farrier, good with shots and did I say he is a PALOMINO!!! You get that right? He’s gold and shiny. Asking 50k.”
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There is a seller around my area that always posts a rough picture of the horse just standing in the field, covered in mud, looking awful with some basic description followed by “once videos taken, price will increase”. I specifically remember one instance when a video of the horse free lunging was posted (in its same muddy state) and that increased the price by 2k 
I think this is a marketing ploy to get buyers to purchase on a whim and make as much commission as quickly as possible with as little work as possible.
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6th line down second column - Stubbles occasionally? ?? ??
The horse is listed as a “prospect” and it’s 10. At that point it’s not a prospect any more, you should have figured out what the poor thing can do. And horses listed as eventing prospects - that just means you can’t control it in the show ring as it blasts around and demolishes a course like a runaway train. And endurance type - that means runs away on the trail.
And there’s this trick that a woman at a barn I used to ride at would pull. She would put a smaller blanket on the horse being sold to make it seem larger. She was one of those that advertises 15.1 horses as 16h and that was her little trick to make her lie seem true.
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There is a breeder or seller or something in Oregon always advertising horses. Some are incredibly nice but some are… odd mixes. It’s like she sells anything from nice five figure Dutch horses to wannabe Gypsy Vanner babies (it’s furry and has spots!), etc. She had a semi cute colt on FB that was a palomino, advertised as AWS. I asked his breeding via PM and she said AWS. I said, well yes, but anything can qualify for that registry, what’s his breeding? She left me on read Like lady, c’mon.
As for chuckle - misspellings obviously. But the sad old horses? Not laughing.
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Friend’s Dad bought 2 Percheron mares. Not from the same place, or at the same time.
They were named Dorothy & Esther 
With their honkin’ big heads & Roman noses, I told him they looked like my Jewish “tantes” (Aunt’s) 
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well I have seen some horses who were always annoyed about something or the others, so I guess those could be considered Cross
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Oh come on. You forgot the age with this one - 16 y/o, not backed yet - will get you noticed in the show ring (did I mention he’s a palomino?)
And the 50k is firm of course 
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You’re totally right. As a general rule of thumb when selling palomino/buckskins you just take whatever the price would be if it were a bay and then you add a zero.
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I can guess who you’re talking about 
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My friend had a Rottweiler she named Boaz and two GSDs Esther and Ruth.
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