what is it about THAT horse?

[Winding_Down]

I have two young horses.

(1) I got the first from a top UL rider who decided to stop riding and focus on teaching and now selling real estate. He had imported this guy as his “next 4* horse.” They presented him as talented out the wazoo but as quirky and challenging. I had to have him, of course and partly through no one’s fault (Lyme, SI stifles), he has been one of the most challenging horses I have trained. Partly that is due to the high expectations that have been dashed here and there, part of it has been due to my having to figure out how to ride him, but most of it has been because he has been just plain ornery… in a sweet sort of way but still ornery.

(2) The second is a lovely mare, that I found when I was not looking. I had taken someone out to see her and we decided that she was too green but before I left, I told that agent that I would be back. She is totally keen, superb jumper (once we got her through the pulled muscle in her butt that happened sometime last fall), fancy, nice mover, and has won 4 out of 5 times out at schooling horse trials. She is just a natural in every way and she is always going forward.

Both have excellent ground manners, are sound, and have no vices.

I have to sell one of them.

All my friends prefer the mare - they swear she is everything I need and want. They say that the gelding is difficult and goofy and that she is sweet and beautiful. Trainer adores her, wants to buy her, and might if I would make her affordable.

I prefer the gelding. Over and over and over. I do not care that she is prettier, or easier, or more bold, or wins more often than not. He is my preferred choice.

So… what is it about that horse? He is what many call a heart horse but not for the reasons I have usually had for deeming a horse such. I love his face, I love messing with him, grooming him, primping him, cleaning up his constant wounds (yes, he goes out and looks for a stray stick to jam into his leg), and all that. It is not that I do not love her. I just love him more.

Makes no sense. I have done so much soul searching this year, trying to decide which one I will sell. And I have tried to make it logical and it is not. I finally threw up my hands a few days ago and called friends and trainer to announce that he is the chosen one and she will be sold.

What is it about this horse? What makes a heart horse? Is it some level of communication or bond that defies logic? Is it olfactory (I am convinced that romance is 90% smell, another chapter there)? Is it his ears? His dinosaur eyes? Geez, what the heck is it about this horse??

What is a Heart Horse?

I know now that he is and will be my heart horse; but for the life of me, I cannot figure out why…

[Outyougo]

"I prefer the gelding. "

You said it.

Follow your heart. It is a rare gift to have THAT horse. In a long happy life at the end you will remember THAT horse.

[chism]

LOL…you know not what you do… YOu’re unleashing COTH in all it’s beauty/ugliness. There have been a lot of discussions about “heart” horses here. Until you experience it, it’s hard to explain. I am NOT a feel good, talk about my emotions, every horse is SPESHUL type at all. Which is why I’m utterly shocked that I can explain this phenomenon. I’ve owned many horses over many years, but only ONE who touched me in a way I can’t explain and he is nothing to write home about, for sure. . Until you feel it, it can’t be explained. IT doesn’t matter what they can/can’t do, it’s how you feel with them. It’s like picking a husband. Keep the heart horse!!

[RTF]

My heart horse, currently, is my mare. She’s not the most athletic, she doesn’t fit the ideal of what I should have, but for me, she’s perfect. I realized that I have ridden and worked with so many horses, and so many different types, that I just prefer some to others. It’s great when you go with your heart. Some of the dumbest mistakes I have made is when I made a business decision over a gut decision. My gut tells me who to sell, and who to keep…and thank goodness, I am not in a position to sell my best ones to fund my hobby.

I try not to question why I click with some horses over others. I am just throughly grateful, that I do. It’s pretty awesome. Sounds like you know who works for you! Let the other one go on to be someone else’s heart horse.

[Winding_Down]

[QUOTE=Outyougo;8248423]

Follow your heart. It is a rare gift to have THAT horse. In a long happy life at the end you will remember THAT horse.[/QUOTE]

Indeed, it is. I have had THAT horse before and he started out as a totally a$$ and ended up carting me around a 2* a couple of years ago at age 57. I do not expect this guy to do that but he is very athletic and he can really move and jump. But in the end, that does not matter at all. I figure I will do with him whatever suits our fancy, so in the end, I may just have a trail horse, heck, who cares? Who’s counting?

[bornfreenowexpensive]

I do not believe in “heart” horses…but I do believe that there are horses you just click with more. It has nothing to do with their looks or talent. In the end, if you have to sell one…you either put them both up for sale (and sell which everyone sells first) or you keep the one that you click with more. Sounds like that is the gelding.

[yellowbritches]

1. Logically speaking from the old horseman’s adage of “sell the best and ride the rest” you should actually sell the mare if she’s as wonderful and easy as you are saying

2. I do believe in heart horses, and the two in my life right now ARE heart horses. Neigh is easy to understand…first horse, survived my teenage years, he’s just a special dude. Toby…not so much, as anyone who has met Toby will tell you, he’s a punk. But, OMG, do I love that punk! Like you, I just love being around him and we definitely have a different bond than I have had with others (even different than Neigh and Vernon, who I thought was a heart horse until Toby). Some horses are just different. You click with them on a different level than others. Especially when you’ve done horses on a professional or semi professional level, it can be an odd experience to click so deeply with a horse. But it happens. Sell the mare.

[bambam]

Whether you use the term heart horse (at your own risk on COTH :)) or not, there are just some horses or the horse that you become more attached and connected to and it has nothing to do with logic. I have 1 gelding who I have that attachment to- I love my other horses but there is just that extra feeling/connection/whatever with this gelding. It certainly has nothing to do with logic- he has been some degree of lame for 12 of the 13 years I have had him and, although I bought him to be my first serious event horse, we have done 1 elementary HT in the last 13 years because of his constant physical issues. But, damn, I love that horse.

[frugalannie]

Bfne, I’m surprised you don’t believe in “heart horses” if what we mean by “heart horse” is the one that you’ll ride even when you feel dog rotten, the one that you’ll pick when you have really limited time and can only get on one, the one that you save for last as a reward for having ridden the others ;).

Objectively, I think that they perhaps are the ones that challenge us in some way so that the rewards when things work are even greater. And they may understand our particular body language better than the other horses so that when we develop a partnership (even for fleeting seconds during a ride) it feels different, special, or as Willem used to say “This it be right.”

Wish I could bottle it!

[Jersey_Fresh]

[QUOTE=Outyougo;8248423]

Follow your heart. It is a rare gift to have THAT horse. In a long happy life at the end you will remember THAT horse.[/QUOTE]

While Ive always thought the term “heart horse” was silly, I do think you just sometimes get ones that would be really hard to replace.

My current guy is like that. He’s not a loving, affectionate horse-he’d rather bite you when you aren’t looking. It took a really long time to bond with him after my first horse who was sweet and kind and seemed to love being around people (but was dangerous under saddle).

That being said, he is my once in a lifetime horse. We probably will never make it past BN but he’s been a phenomenal partner over the past 5 years. This horse has taken me from being afraid to jump 2’ to the pre-adult hunters to the adult hunters, to eventing. I can throw him on the trailer and hack out at the park with friends. Now there were a lot of falls, crashes, tears, temper tantrums in those 5 years. There still are as he not an easy horse to ride. But I value what he has taught me and I think he will always have a special place in my heart no matter what horse I have down the road. While Im sure there will be others, I dont ever think Ill have another one quite like him.

[mythical84]

We have a saying at my barn, “Life’s too short to ride s*#$ horses in s#$* saddles.” While we often use that as justification to max out the credit card on a new French saddle (:lol:), for the horses, it’s a little different. It’s not about having to have the nicest horse. It has everything to do about having the horse that makes you happy, and makes you want to come to the barn every day. And that is different for every person.

I cannot tell you how many people told me to sell or give my Princess Lissell away over the years. But I could just never do it. She was hard to ride, not all that sound, and not really all that friendly on the ground. But I loved her. Adored her, really. For all of her badness, I could hop on her bareback any day of the week with a halter and two lead ropes for a bridle and go anywhere.

I was lucky that, in the end, she did help me accomplish some of my competitive goals. And that probably did strengthen the bond that we had. But to be honest, I would have been happy to just groom her every day and feed her treats. That is pretty much all I did the last year that I had her, and I don’t regret a moment of it.

[FatCatFarm]

Yeah “Heart Horse” makes some people around here want to vomit just a bit. Cracks me up that some get their panties in a twist over such things as insignificant terminology, but there you have it. Maybe you won’t need your flame suit though.

I’m sort of in the same situation as you OP. I own three brothers - two are full and one is a half - all by the same stallion. The one I most adore is the oldest and while he’s probably not the most talented, he is the sweetest, most personable horse I have ever owned. He’s no saint and can be a real brat at times but tries so hard for the most part. Will lick you like a dog, no lie. I just adore him and have waited my whole life for him. If I have to sell one, it will be the flashy half brother who is the most talented and sweet in his own right, but I don’t click with him like I do his older brother. Joey, while probably not an UL horse, has all the talent I’ll ever need and we’ll have a blast doing it because he is fun. So yeah, keep the one that makes you happiest.

[Jealoushe]

I think I have a problem because all of mine are “heart horses” lol. I can’t possibly imagine parting with any of them. This includes my one guy who sounds a lot like yours, difficult, quirky, and put me in the dirt many times. But I love that little red bastard, and you would have to pry him out of my cold dead hands to get him!!

Follow your heart

[IronwoodFarm]

Life is too short for all this agonizing. Sell the horse you don’t like as much and move on. It sounds like the mare will be much easier to sell anyway.

[Ajierene]

[QUOTE=Winding Down;8248714]
Indeed, it is. I have had THAT horse before and he started out as a totally a$$ and ended up carting me around a 2* a couple of years ago at age 57. I do not expect this guy to do that but he is very athletic and he can really move and jump. But in the end, that does not matter at all. I figure I will do with him whatever suits our fancy, so in the end, I may just have a trail horse, heck, who cares? Who’s counting?[/QUOTE]

I think you answered your own question. You prefer horses that are initially more difficult. It gives you that drive to really bond with the horse. The mare is easy, so you don’t have to bond to get her to do what you want. The gelding you have to “figure out”. Figuring out that puzzle and the relationship you develop through it are what you want in a horse.

I am similar that I like a puzzle to figure out, but my current filly satisfies it by the fact that I raised and started her under saddle. I started her dam under saddle as well and her dam and I went through a lot together before she was retired. I expect the same of my filly.

So, sell the mare and keep the gelding and see where it goes.

[nu2u]

Yep, go with your heart, stay with him your heart horse…you want some logical reasoning to defend your choice with…1)anything can happen at any time so miss sweet, pretty and able to win could become miss sweet, pretty, unable to do more than eat at any second 2)she is an easier and higher priced sale and there is a willing buyer that you presumable you have a good relationship with.

Would leasing the mare rather than selling either of them be an option?

PS sounds like you have a pair just like mine!!!

[Ajierene]

[QUOTE=Jealoushe;8248974]
I think I have a problem because all of mine are “heart horses” lol. I can’t possibly imagine parting with any of them. This includes my one guy who sounds a lot like yours, difficult, quirky, and put me in the dirt many times. But I love that little red bastard, and you would have to pry him out of my cold dead hands to get him!!

Follow your heart :)[/QUOTE]

HA! This is the whole reason I could not get into the “horse trading” business. I just love them all! I can, however, ride horses for other people and get them sale ready. I am able to keep my emotions out of a horse I don’t own, but once that horse is mine it is almost impossible for me to sell.

[slp2]

Originally posted byAljierene

I think you answered your own question. You prefer horses that are initially more difficult. It gives you that drive to really bond with the horse. The mare is easy, so you don’t have to bond to get her to do what you want. The gelding you have to “figure out”. Figuring out that puzzle and the relationship you develop through it are what you want in a horse.

^This is a very good observation! Many horsepeople seem to be more bonded to the horses that are challenging, that they have had to go through lots of trials and tribulations with. Or some people like to think that they are the only person that can handle Mr. Quirky Pants, or Miss Sassy Pants! I know of several fellow boarders that try and make their (not so difficult) horses sound like they are fire-breathing dragons that only THEY are capable of riding! But they LOVE their horses and they are in love with the fact that they think their relationship with their horse is unique. And it probably is. But sometimes that is what creates the sense of a horse being more of a “heart horse” than another.

[Winding_Down]

[QUOTE=Ajierene;8249162]
I think you answered your own question. You prefer horses that are initially more difficult. It gives you that drive to really bond with the horse. The mare is easy, so you don’t have to bond to get her to do what you want. The gelding you have to “figure out”. Figuring out that puzzle and the relationship you develop through it are what you want in a horse.

I am similar that I like a puzzle to figure out, but my current filly satisfies it by the fact that I raised and started her under saddle. I started her dam under saddle as well and her dam and I went through a lot together before she was retired. I expect the same of my filly.

So, sell the mare and keep the gelding and see where it goes.[/QUOTE]

Do we know each other? I have always gravitated toward and acquired horses with problems - many have been free - one was born here, but always, it is the more difficult horse. It is a challenge and meaningful.

As far as the term, “heart horse” being offensive to some, I really do think is the terminology. I cannot imagine that there is anyone who actually does not bond more with one horse than with others.

I sold my last heart horse and I think of him often, usually when I am down. I sold him because I knew he would not be happy as my top horse - and he was ready to teach someone the ropes at novice and training. He was always visibly angry when I gave attention to another horse, and was quite a bully toward them afterwards. This guy does get upset about me grooming others as well but he is not a bully at all. He is always at the bottom of the pecking order, and always has an eye out for me in case I can bring him into the barn or out on the crossties. He luffs me!

[Sticky_Situation]

I think the problem with the term “heart horse” is that it conjures up (for me, anyway) images of the newcomer to riding who bought a two-year-old green broke black Arabian because they felt a speshul connection the first time the ever saw it, they only do Parelli-type ground work with it because the only three times they tried to ride it they ended up in the hospital, but they refuse to even consider parting with it in favor of a more suitable horse because “OMG he’s my heart horse!!!”

That said, I have had a “heart” horse … the first horse I ever owned, kind and honest as could be, and just about the ideal Pony Club mount. Even now, thinking of him brings a smile to my face. He was a race-bred Appendix gelding and may not have been the fanciest horse out there, although he held his own quite well at the lower levels, but I would not have traded him for anything.

The horse I’m eventing now, I don’t know if I would quite call him a heart horse yet, but I’ve slowly become pretty attached to him as well …