I thought you were implying that my horses that had issues in the past were in some way responsible for the financial situation currently since you asked what my husband thought of it?
Which by the way he is one of the main supporters of the horse thing. I’m the one who has talked about getting out of horses myself. But that’s certainly not going to happen right now with an unsound horse. And I’m not going to make huge decisions during emotional times.
My parents are willing to help with the lease horse if need be. They covered August for us. Thankful! It helped a lot.
I think it was just a lot all at once. And yes this year has not gone to plan which is definitely a stressor.
But calculating I think between me and my husband and we will bring in a minimum of $6,200 but as much as $7k this month. Again there is lucrative months and then there is slower months. We just need to plan ahead. But no one in starved or not cared for. I just really wish everything wasn’t happening in the same month lol.
It kind of goes back to I want things to go a certain way and if they veer off a path I panic.
My daughter got her contacts by the way. We still need to see about braces. When we were there last spring she wasn’t quite ready, something about the roots not being ready and developed. Tires in September. Roof in November is the plan. Dog stable right now but next would be the fancy diet and/or blood work. And the horse is shiny and happy hanging out anyway. My vet has been with me for over 16 years and is happy to work with me as conservatively as she can. There’s a lot of things we can do before going crazy with money. Thankful for her in that regard.
I really appreciate everybody in this thread as I really did help me get some good ideas but also put things into perspective.
Hubby has changed jobs, now it’s winter, he gets up before dawn and is home after dark
I was working at least 5 jobs. I put up bread 6 days a week in the local Supermarket for 2 different bakeries, 3 days a week doing grocery deliveries. 9 days a month doing Aldi Supermarket audits. The audits during the days, the reports overnight. 4 days a month doing junk mail deliveries, merchandising 3 hours a week, in the local Supermarket I do bread and deliveries in, and 5.5 hours once a fortnight, which did not count the 4 hours driving. Plus mystery shopping when I am called and we are landlords.
First I gave away the deliveries on a Tuesday, that guy would also take over my bread and deliveries when needed, like going to say goodbye to Mum.
Next I stopped the Merchandising. I was getting nothing done at home after getting home the next day.
This year we leased out our farm. We still live here and have the land above the house for our horses.
We sold all our cattle. OMG. We didn’t have many as we went through the worst drought in known memory. We didn’t have one blade of grass on 100 acres. We sold everything for not much and kept the bull and 6 weaners too young to breed so not much to feed. One was a bit older and calved the next year. We bought 5 x Brahman cows. They were supposed to be barren. 2 calved. One calf survived. 4 cows survived.
They all calved the next year. And then we had calves when we sold.
We received over a years wage for me. Over $46,000.00 it was
U N B E L I E V A B L E !
The land has been leased for 5 years. We do nothing. No putting fences up after a flood, no making hay. N O T H I N G !
I am now only doing bread and deliveries on Thursdays and Fridays. I am still doing the Aldi Audits. I see that as them paying me to go and visit my brother and Mum 3 nights a month, she is now on his mantelpiece and because I can start earlier without doing the bread, on the closer ones, I can put the reports in during the day. No junk mail deliveries any more. No Aldi Audits for August.
I am only 2 x weeks in. I am loving it. Money worries are gone. We paid all the loans off with that unexpected windfall.
My friend has paid me to take him to the Doctors the last 2 x Tuesdays and next Tuesday as well so far.
I have completely cleaned out the car and the kitchen. I cleaned around the massage chair yesterday and have had 6 massages since then
I will start again in the lounge room today. Once the house is done, I will start riding again.
In 5 years we can decide to lease or take it over again. We still have all our own farm equipment.
Feel free to PM me at anytime. As a veterinarian with 34 years of experience, understanding the situation you have (within reason for your own privacy) I would want to know so that I could advise you as best as I could for your animals’ sake and your own. My opinion is QOL decisions should take into consideration the animals’ QOL AND you and your family. I would be happy to answer any ‘must have’ question I can regarding health care but I think much of the advice you’re received is well founded. As vets we’re trained to advise you to do what is ‘best’ for your pet; but, that doesn’t mean prioritizing all that you have on your plate is wrong or will disadvantage your pet to a serious degree. So, I hope your vet is a common sense type and would encourage you to be straight with them both (assuming you have one for your horse and one for your dog). I feel for you (I suspect I’ve been there ;))
I got into horses in my 20s.Knew I wanted to make it my lifetime, but I knew I could not make a living from it. I made several decisions: I saved money, like crazy I looked for a job with a Pension and Health Care.insurance. Bingo : age 30.
No where here do I see any indication that your family has health insurance. Yes, I know teeth and eyes generally do not get covered, but a lot more does. Health Care Insurance takes a lot of worries out of life: even for the cost.
Job: your child is starting Jr High.You do not need to be home like when she was younger. You need a full time job, with a Pension and Health Care. All that is harder to find these days but, Look. Look Hard. You need financial security, for your family, for yourself.
Your husband should look for a job that is much more regular: in pay. That may not be possible because he may have a very unique job, but can he do something else? Again: Health Care, Pension. He should look around. Can he do something else during" slow" times?
I’ve known more than one woman who left the money stuff with a husband. .Give him an allowance.
Give yourself an allowance.
Same with your daughter: Give her an allowance. Tell her it is for her to spend her way. Tell her you expect her to find some way to make money next summer (grow a garden and sell vegies? she knows where to get fertilizer)
Odd question: Why is Dad driving daughter to school? I s there a reason?That’s gas=$. School Bus from now on. She can do her homework on the bus.
Day to day : Question everything you all do. What can you cut, drop?
Start figuring what may come up next, because something always will. Save a buck or two. Also use most of your tax return to pay stuff off, but put some into savings. Every little bit counts.
The next couple of years will be tough. Very Tough. But you will come through this and will have a future that will be better. You are stronger, you are better, you are smarter than you think.
Had a contractor come yesterday. He mentioned my husband. There is no ring on my finger. He asked incredulously, “You mow all this big yard by yourself?!”
“Yes. And this. And that.” (Me gesturing to the pastures)
“Your husband doesn’t help you?!”
“If something needs doing around here, I have to do it or hire it.”
“You live here all alone by yourself?!!”
I know as someone living alone I’m not supposed to broadcast that to strangers. But now he’s pissing me off.
“Yeah. It’s me. I take care of this place.”
This farm is my own. My own hands have to do the day to day work and my sole income has to pay someone else for things I can’t do. It’s all on me. Sometimes that fact staggers me. Yesterday, it put my back up.
Thankfully my family has excellent health insurance. But the medical issues caused significant issues outside of that. I’m not trying to be vague to be annoying but people on here know who I am in real life and I just don’t feel like it’s my place to air out my husband’s issues complete transparency. That being said we do not have eye dental insurance but thankfully We do have a flex spending account which basically sets money aside for some medical expenses. Not a ton but it helps.
To be clear my husband does have a regular paying job but it fluctuates from I don’t know about 5 grand a month to $12,000 a month. But knowing that he’s a spender you can see how that and itself can be a problem. I am now in charge of all the finances though. Lesson learned.
I’m the one driving her to school but it’s a lot of back and forth for me and it’s more on his way to work. The bus is not an option in our area.
But I hear you we’re definitely evaluating everything. We’ve already saved a ton compared to a few months ago. I cut our cable bill in half. Got rid of little expenses that were absolutely not needed.
Things are always looking up but it’s just getting through especially the next few months. And it will definitely take changes for all of us in the long haul.
I very much admire that!! I know a horse trainer that’s live that way for much of her life. Times get tough (she’s a single mom too) but she always finds a way it seems. She’s super strong and I’ve always admired that about her.
Thank you so much. So we use a multi-vet practice. I prefer one of the other vets but I want to point we can only get in with this one and I don’t want to be switching around when dealing with one issue. She does seem to be trying to work with us although I do feel like she’s judging me about not being able to spend thousands of dollars on him. But at least she’s working with us for now. I definitely don’t want him to suffer in any way but if things can be taken care of any more conservative way that would be awesome too!
I’m contemplating trying to get insurance for this dog. I have two dogs but I really only think the one would need it. He just has weird things happening all the time it seems. He’s rough and rowdy when playing and just prone to little injuries too it seems.
My daughter was mowing my parent’s grass last summer. She was only charging them $0.30 a mow though, so they usually bought her gifts. She hasn’t done it as much this year only because of the rain has made scheduling hard. But she’s not afraid to work for money and she’s a saver and very frugal. Thankful for that, my husband’s whole family is bad with money so I was really hoping that wasn’t going to be passed down to her too. Lol
@Lunabear1988, I just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re going through tough times and I admire your grace in responding to a (very) few of the posts that come across as a little judgey. It’s absolutely reasonable not to air all your private affairs on the internet while still asking for some advice and support. Hugs!
Thank you so much. Honestly when you put yourself out on the internet I think you have to expect it. And sometimes people mean well even though there is some judging. If anything I’m really impressed with how any kind and helpful posts there are!
I commend you for being so graceful and considerate. Life is awfully trying sometimes, but you seem like you have a genuinely good attitude and you ALL will get to the other side of this.
My dog is still doing well so far. So fingers crossed that continues.
Looking at the money coming in, in September, if we just stock some away and we will be good for the roof. We don’t need to have all of it, since we are still a few months away and I plan to work a little bit extra too.
My horse was looking significantly better on the lunge. ( I rarely lunge him b ut sometimes it’s kind of necessary to really get a good look of how he’s moving) The only thing I saw was coming down from the canter, he’d take a weird step with the stifle. But I’m working on getting my vet out to see if he needs help or if it is just conditioning at this point. Either way I think financially we can afford to help him out in some way if needed. And if push comes to it I could sell a saddle. I have a dressage saddle and a jump saddle. I certainly don’t need two saddles so I’d be willing to sell one to help pay for what he needs. I also have some blankets and stuff I can get rid of that are too big for him.
So now we just need to get tires for my husband’s car and get the braces going soon. The braces will be a monthly payment so that should be okay.
Feeling significantly better than I was when I started this thread. If we just stay the course we will be fine.
Something to remember for the perfectionist in you - Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Sometimes good enough really is good enough. The 80% solution is what I was told to strive for at work as a junior engineer; it’s a good goal for most of life.
Sooo CSU near me is doing a study on different treatments for stifle lameness. I reached out and they did say my horse could potentially be considered. He has to meet certain criteria (basically lame enough but not too lame) which I think he might but I’m not a vet. They will be in touch with my vet to determine that. But fingers crossed that we might be considered, that would be such a significant help. It would include check up x-rays and ultrasounds and at least one or two treatments in the stifle.
Question - why bother much with the horse right now? Are you riding a bunch?
The reason I ask, and I’m sure some will think I’m cruel, is that my young mare is NQR on her left hind - maybe a 1/5?. At this time, for various reasons, I am not doing a damn thing to look into it. I haven’t been riding much because life is in the way anyways, so why bother? She’s eating and otherwise healthy.
When my life calms down, I will bring her to a clinic to get it looked at. Until then? She’s fine.
